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YSaC, Vol. 346: For the love of all that is good and right, please help this man.

Written by

drmk

in

Lost My Teeth

PLEASE HELP I HAVE LOST MY TEETH!!!! Thrusday night I missed placed my teeth, They are whitish with a little tobacco staining and there were three of them. My have left them at southside billiards or at the truck stop in Richmond Hill. I would like to get them back it is hard to eat, anything but soft food. And my tobacco does not like to stay in place. There is a reward they are my good luck chram PLEASE HELP ME FIND THEM!!! Call xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Jim

I … just …

Ew.

Thanks to Kati for the submission!

Comments

25 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 346: For the love of all that is good and right, please help this man.”

  1. kt Avatar
    kt

    id really like to know why hed be toothless in a pool hall

    1. SockHead Avatar
      SockHead

      That’s what I was wondering. Why did he take them out in the first place?

      I also love that one of his reasons for needing them back is that his tobacco doesn’t stay in place without them. Yummy.

  2. Linnee Avatar
    Linnee

    What? He has three teeth that rattle around in his mouth? Or are they removable implants? And who in the hell would pick them up and keep them? Ew. Just ew.

  3. Clovis Sangrail Avatar
    Clovis Sangrail

    Despite the minor grammatical mistakes peppered throughout the ad, this really is more coherent than I would have expected from a guy who lost his three lucky, tobacco-holding teeth somewhere.

    1. Lola Avatar
      Lola

      I concur … Aside from the “good luck chram” and some insufficient punctuation, the spelling in this is so much better than a lot of the submissions here.

  4. horriblelicenseplates Avatar
    horriblelicenseplates

    Loving these 3 extra teeth. They make chewing SO much easier!

  5. Christian The Jew Avatar
    Christian The Jew

    Having lived in Savannah Ga, I can assure you that he’s not the first person in Richmond Hill to lose his teeth in that pool hall

  6. Jerod Poore Avatar
    Jerod Poore

    The teeth in question would look something like this. One look at the picture tells you why someone would want to remove them from time to time.

    My grandfather wore his partials only when he had to.

    1. Linnee Avatar
      Linnee

      And I had to look…

    2. Martha Avatar
      Martha

      Once upon a time, I used to make those! For a (meager) living! I knew exactly what the ad was for.

  7. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    Ewww creepypants.

    1. ghostcat Avatar
      ghostcat

      Creepyteeth.

  8. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    What sort of good luck charm are false teeth? I mean really? It ranks up there with:
    ‘please help I’ve lost my colostomy bag – my LUCKY colostomy bag – and would like it back immediately. I took it off at the cinema……..’
    Anyone who has false teeth in the first place has had their share of bad luck.

    1. NicoleT Avatar
      NicoleT

      Oh that gave me quite the chuckle…thanks!

  9. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    Maybe he could get something where he claps and his teeth make a beeping sound.
    I know i’ve seen those for car keys.

  10. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    This sounds like one of my coworkers… O.O

  11. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    Jim,

    You seem to have forgotten the events of that night, ha-ha! Too much Jagermeister?

    I won those teeth fair and square. You’re not getting them back.

  12. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    No doubt that someone else missing three teeth and in dire need of a good luck chram picked those babies right up.

  13. Jinx Avatar
    Jinx

    This one has me humming “Detachable Penis” by King Missile.

    Also imagining his tobacco running about, because it “doesn’t like to stay in place”. Naughty tobacco!

  14. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    Personally, I wonder if the tobacco didn’t just knock them out to finally give him the hint!

  15. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    You’re better off without them. As a good-luck charm, they weren’t terribly effective.

  16. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I’d give my eye teeth to help this guy out!

  17. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
    Demon Duck of Doom

    Good thing he said they are whitish. That will narrow down the search significantly.

  18. Lou Stool Avatar
    Lou Stool

    They’re clearly his good luck charm because he’s so much better at picking up hookers from the truck stop when those bad boys are in there, holding his tuhbakee in place. I mean really,accidently spitting out some tobacco on a woman has got to hurt your chances, hooker or not.

  19. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Lyle, thanks for bringing some culture to the Snark Lounge and the Box! No rhyme today, I owe you one.

    Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Monday!

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