You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 410: Unemployment problem solved!

Written by

drmk

in

Stuff Coordinator /part-time job/ $1000 monthly

Condrea Group is a large European company. We are currently hiring employees in the USA for the position of Stuff Coordinator. This is a part-time job. The schedule of work 1-3 hours per day.

Duties:

Forwarding of post parcels to our customers.

Primary job requirements:

* Age over 21 years
* Basic knowledge of the computer
* Ability to print and scan documents
* Ability to lift packages weighing up to 40 lbs
* Accuracy and responsibility

Send your resume for consideration.

Sarah sends this listing, saying, “I love stuff! I could totally be a stuff coordinator. I wonder what kind of stuff I’ll be coordinating. I can’t wait to put that title on my new business cards!”

Best of luck with your new job, Sarah. I’m sure there’s absolutely no chance that this is a scam; after all, you’d have a title and everything! After a few months, they’ll move you up to managing things. After that, who knows? Maybe you’ll become head of widgets, doodads and gizmos. Just remember us little people when you’re a big, important doohickey specialist, okay?

Comments

42 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 410: Unemployment problem solved!”

  1. queensbee Avatar
    queensbee

    i hope this stuff is better than that other stuff.

    1. frigglesnitz Avatar
      frigglesnitz

      It’s the best stuff, as far as stuff goes. Apparently, this stuff must go pretty far; it can’t get there unassisted.
      Doesn’t the U.S. mail and every other parcel service pretty much guarantee to deliver said stuff from point of origin to its destination, without assistance stateside?

      Not.a.scam.

  2. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    I’m suspecting that it’s the stuff in the packages that is the issue causing the packages to need to be forwarded.

    1. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      Forwading? I agree with you. I have a feeling most of these forwarded addresses are in Nigeria — “stuff” bought online by identity thieves. Have your bail money ready when the FBI comes knocking on your door.

  3. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    OK – so I believe this is a scam. But what exactly are they trying to do/who are they scamming? Scam tutorial, anyone?

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Most likely is that you end up as the addressee on packages that have been ordered with stolen credit cards. When you get the packages, you then forward them onto other people in the ring. Then you end up going to prison. It’s not really a lucrative career.

      1. Colleen in MA Avatar
        Colleen in MA

        Thanks for the scoop.

        Can you imagine what the world could be like if people harnessed all their creativity for good?

      2. Irregular Fractal Avatar
        Irregular Fractal

        I don’t know… it sounds like it would set you up for the very skills you’d need to be a prison gang leader, and I hear that’s lucrative work. And the meals are included.

        1. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Three hots and a cot, a gym, a library, cable … not a bad deal at all if you don’t mind showering in groups and the possibility of getting shanked every time you leave your cell.

      3. Martha Avatar
        Martha

        There’s no reply button to Lola??? ….

        Currently, I pay for my own meals, I do not have cable, and I’m forced to shower alone. This sounds like it might improve my entertainment and social life.

        1. mudslicker Avatar
          mudslicker

          Not to mention all the “stuffing” you can handle!

    2. Jon. Avatar
      Jon.

      Also possible that they send you a “bank draft” to cover the postage costs of what you’re forwarding, plus your salary, which turns out by reason of “clerical error” to have been made out for a few hundred bucks too much. So they ask you to deposit the “bank draft” and send them a cheque for the overage. Of course, the “bank draft” turns out to be phony…

    3. Wendy Avatar
      Wendy

      I’m reading “stuff coordinator” as “stuff-things-in-envelopes coordinator” – as in, you pay them $40 or so for the “great secrets of making money fast” or somesuch, and the great secret is you place ads like this and get people to send you $40 for a copy of the pamphlet.

      They get around the MLM laws by saying it’s a real job “stuffing envelopes” – with the pamphlets. Of course, you have to provide the addresses of the recipients yourself.

  4. Twitter Trackbacks for YSaC, Vol. 410: Unemployment problem solved! | You Suck at Craigslist [yousuckatcraigslist.com] on Topsy.com

    […] YSaC, Vol. 410: Unemployment problem solved! | You Suck at Craigslist http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2979 – view page – cached #You Suck at Craigslist RSS Feed You Suck at Craigslist » YSaC, Vol. 410: Unemployment problem solved! Comments Feed You Suck at Craigslist You suck at Craigslist, Vol. I YSaC, Vol. 409: In which drmk has writer’s block. — From the page […]

  5. ainebegonia Avatar
    ainebegonia

    I don’t know if I am up to the challenge of handling stuff, I’ve only ever handled whatnot.

    1. TotalBlammBlamm Avatar
      TotalBlammBlamm

      This comment is completely WIN.

      It made me chuckle as much as the Craiglist post!!! XD

  6. SoundsLikeVla Avatar
    SoundsLikeVla

    I spend a lot of time looking at stuff, picking stuff up, thinking of stuff, stuffing my face…I could be a stuff coordinator….coordinate telling them where to stuff their janky job!

    Oh right…their stuff is legal stuff, not those illegal stuff scams so prevalent nowadays…in that case, I know the perfect neighborhood sex offender for the job!

  7. Monty Python Avatar
    Monty Python

    Is it possible to spend three hours coordinating stuff every single day?

    1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
      Irregular Fractal

      As someone who works in academia, I can state with certainty that the answer to that is, yes.

      1. Tankerbell Avatar
        Tankerbell

        And I work for the government. I, too, can confirm that the answer to that is not only “yes”, but “oh, hell yes”.

    2. sfaye Avatar
      sfaye

      Working in research at a University, I spend much more than 3 hours a day coordinating a wide assortment of stuff. Of course, I get great benefits. They don’t seem to offer benefits. Maybe they should look into that. In fact, their new stuff coordinator could probably coordinate the receiving of benefits for their gullible new employees.

  8. picturepocket Avatar
    picturepocket

    Vagueness in the classifieds always sounds a little less reputable. Fun fact: Sending illegal/harmful things in the U.S. mail is a federal crime. Whether the stuff turns out to be controlled substances, bootlegged DVD’s or even a seemingly innocuous pyramid schemes, sending bad stuff in the mail makes it even more illegal. “We’ll do the crime and you can do the time!” may be this group’s motto.

  9. Lorraine Avatar
    Lorraine

    Track the employment trends for “Stuff Coordinator” at SimplyHired: http://www.simplyhired.com/a/jobtrends/trend/q-Write+Stuff+Coordinator

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      But adding the word “write” in there increases the number of jobs it thinks are appropriate. Doing a search for just “Stuff Coordinator” (or even better, just “Stuff”) shows what a small market stuff coordinating really is.

      http://www.simplyhired.com/a/jobtrends/trend/q-Stuff+Coordinator

  10. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    Ralph Wiggum: So, do you like…stuff?

    1. Miss C Avatar
      Miss C

      Eddie Izzard: “Do you like…bread?”

      1. Becky Avatar
        Becky

        I’ve got… legs.

        1. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          But do you know how to use ’em?

          *realize my age is showing*

  11. Ladycrim Avatar
    Ladycrim

    What’s the problem here? Clearly, this is the European parent company of Snapple. They use the Best Stuff on Earth! (Which, as I understand it, just got better.)

    1. Katy Avatar
      Katy

      If the best stuff got better, weren’t they lying in the original ad? Don’t get led astray by false slogans from mega corporations… I don’t care how good their pink lemonade is!

    2. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      OMG this made me laugh and probably made the fired Snapple Lady make a frowny face.

  12. Mrphysic Avatar
    Mrphysic

    Sorry YSaCers, I’m gonna have to stick my head above the parapet and admit that I LIKE this job description for it’s lack of floweriness. In my office we have the following job titles:
    Office Coordination Manager
    Corporate Support Officer
    Internal Communications Co-ordinator

    Which in normal terms count as the following (in order)
    Receptionist
    Secretary
    Mailman

    I think a lot of confusion and arguments could probably be avoided if people just had brutally honest job titles. The only way I would like this title more would be if it it were ‘Stuff Forwarder’, ‘Stuff Mailer’ or better still ‘Stuff Do-er’

    Also – even if you are a bit squeamish about the blunt title of ‘Stuff Co-ordinator’ then when you say it ‘I’m a Stuff Co-ordinator’, it sounds enough like ‘Staff Co-ordinator’ to imply that you may actually have a more cushy role in HR.

    Hmmmm – Maybe I should look to employ a ‘Thought Co-ordinator’ as I’m not sure that all this makes sense…….

    1. Wendy Avatar
      Wendy

      I think one of my favorite classified ads when I was job-hunting was looking for a “Director of First Impressions”, i.e. receptionist.

      1. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        My favorite euphemism that confuses the rest of the staff: “Knowledge Manager.” Also, “Information Scientist.” a/k/a Librarian.

    2. Katy Avatar
      Katy

      I once applied to a ‘Growth and development specialist’ position I found online. It was a floater position at a day care. Way to make the people who break the teachers for lunch feel important (for the record I work at a day care, and I did a month of floating. It was a bunch of busy work with the occasional sub position.)

    3. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      I believe these are the positions Obama is trying to create. Under the guidance of the “Stuff for Change Department”….”Stuff” is greener and definitely less fussy.

  13. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    I sort of feel for them, to be honest. It can be tough to come up with a job description that covers all the bases of what you want the employee to do when what you really want to write is something like:

    “Wanted : A Bitchmonkey
    * Must say “how high” when I ask you to jump.
    * I promise not to ask you to do anything too illegal.
    * You’ll get paid whatever to be my bitchmonkey whenever.”

    1. Jami(no "e") Avatar
      Jami(no “e”)

      What would a job as Bitchmonkey pay? It sounds like a fantastic position.

      1. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
        casualencounters.com/blog/

        Probably depends on what the general flavor of bitchmonkeywork is. More for multi-billion-dollar-corporate-merger bitchmonkeywork than that-litter-sure-looks-like-it-could-use-some-stabbing bitchmonkeywork. Yano?

    2. TotalBlammBlamm Avatar
      TotalBlammBlamm

      Holy cow, this is what I do for a living! I’m a Bitchmonkey!

      Look in the mirror, people. YOU MAY BE A BITCHMONKEY TOO!! 😀

      1. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        That was my first real job out of college. Wasn’t very good at it and got fired … one of the best things to happen to my career, actually!

  14. rev Avatar
    rev

    Stuff happens.

Leave a Reply

More posts