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YSaC, Vol. XCIII

Written by

drmk

in

Red Bricks For Sale — Leftovers from Project

I have a bunch of random sized plywood pieces. Some are large, some are small. can be used as firewood i guess or some small project. Give me an offer if you are intersted

Good morning, boys and girls! It’s time for our construction materials lesson of the day. Today’s lesson: telling the difference between bricks and plywood. This can be a tricky one, so pay close attention. I’ve brought visual aids along to help us out. Ready? Let’s begin!

These are bricks:

…and this is plywood:

Let’s try that again!

Bricks:

Plywood:

One more time, just to be sure!

Bricks:

Plywood:

Good, boys and girls! Tomorrow’s lesson will involve your ass and a hole in the ground. You should be sure to read ahead for that one.

Submitted by Julia — thanks!

Comments

31 responses to “YSaC, Vol. XCIII”

  1. Pianodan Avatar
    Pianodan

    This would appear relevant:

    http://www.brunching.com/eitheror.html

  2. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    Huh. Are you sure those aren’t steaks? They look like steaks to me. Maybe you should have called them ‘stakes’, in keeping with the theme.

  3. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    Julia (the submitter) also points out that the word “some” here is important. How many bricks/plywood constitutes “some”? A handful? A wheelbarrow-ful? A pickup truck-ful?

    And Martha, I’ve eaten steaks that tasted like plywood before, so I might have the whole thing wrong my own self.

  4. LurkRealClose Avatar
    LurkRealClose

    Ass and hole in the ground I know, can we go over ass and elbow, again, please? That one always stumps me.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      LRC, you haven’t changed since 2009! That’s Awesome!

      1. LurkRealClose Avatar
        LurkRealClose

        Oh, it’s been longer than that! LOL!

  5. Shane-For-Wax Avatar
    Shane-For-Wax

    I like learning!

  6. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    In my last job I became aware of a man who was constantly in trouble for throwing bricks at everything: family members, houses, cars….a police car. I kept wondering where the heck he was getting the bricks, did he have a brick supplier? He did hit someone with a two by four too. This post may be for or from him.

  7. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    I hear the three little pigs are looking for some more building materials.

  8. Dave and the ferret Avatar
    Dave and the ferret

    I have a pair of brown shows that are scuffed. Now which of these two things do I use to polish them, again? They sound pretty similar, and they’re both brown.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Is it a musical show? Not opera, I fall asleep during opera.

      1. Astrognash Avatar
        Astrognash

        I’m hoping for a Marching Band Field Show myself.

  9. SilvaNoir Avatar
    SilvaNoir

    Red bricks for sale- take them for free!

    1. Laurelhach Avatar
      Laurelhach

      And you can use your free red bricks to build a lovely wooden The Table!

      1. HamCan Avatar
        HamCan

        This is perfect for my brick shithouse project!

  10. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Some bricks divided by random size plywood equals (pet catulator, apply kibble) Winchester House. Ooooh, scary!

  11. christina Avatar
    christina

    Look, I’ve seen the way they build houses these days. Plywood bricks would not surprise me.

  12. Mindfield Avatar
    Mindfield

    Once upon a time there was a mother pig who had three little pigs.

    The three little pigs grew so big that their mother said to them, “You are too big to live here any longer. You must go and build houses for yourselves. But take care that the wolf does not catch you.”
    The three little pigs set off. “We will take care that the wolf does not catch us,” they said.

    Soon they met a man who was carrying some straw. “Please will you give me some straw?” asked the first little pig. “I want to build a house for myself.”
    “Yes,” said the man and he gave the first little pig some straw.
    Then the first little pig built himself a house of straw. He was very pleased with his house. He said, “Now the wolf won’t catch me and eat me.”

    “I shall build a stronger house than yours,” said the second little pig.
    “I shall build a stronger house than yours, too,” said the third little pig.

    The second little pig and the third little pig went on along the road. Soon they met a man who was carrying some sticks.
    “Please will you give me some sticks ?” asked the second little pig. “I want to build a house for myself.”
    “Yes,” said the man and he gave the second little pig some sticks.
    Then the second little pig built himself a house of sticks. It was stronger than the house of straw.
    The second little pig was very pleased with his house. He said, “Now the wolf won’t catch me and eat me.”

    “I shall build a stronger house than yours,” said the third little pig.

    The third little pig walked on, along the road, by himself. Soon he met a furtive little man carrying some bricks.
    “Please will you give me some bricks?” asked the third little pig. “I want to build a house for myself.”
    “Oh yes, please do!” said the man with a sly grin, and he gave the third little pig some bricks.
    Then the third little pig built himself a house of bricks. It took him a long time to build it, for it was a very strong house. He was very pleased with his house, and said, “Now the wolf won’t catch me and eat me.”

    The next day the wolf came along the road. He came to the house of straw which the first little pig had built. When the first little pig saw the wolf coming, he ran inside his house and shut the door.

    The wolf knocked on the door and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”
    “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, I will not let you come in,” said the little pig.
    “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in,” said the wolf.
    So he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed. The house of straw fell down and the wolf ate the first little pig.

    The next day the wolf walked further along the road. He came to the house of sticks which the second little pig had built. When the second little pig saw the wolf coming, he ran inside his house and shut the door.
    The wolf knocked on the door and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”
    “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, I will not let you come in,” said the little pig.
    “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in,” said the wolf.
    So he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed. The house of sticks fell down and the wolf ate the second little pig.

    The next day the wolf walked further along the road. He came to the house of bricks which the third little pig had built. When the third little pig saw the wolf coming, he ran inside his house and shut the door.
    The wolf knocked on the door and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”
    “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, I will not let you come in,” said the little pig.
    “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in,” said the wolf.
    So he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed, and at length, the house of bricks fell down.
    “Well, that was unexpected,” said the wolf.
    The third little pig climbed out of the rubble, looked around, and said, “Wait, what the hell? I made this house out of brick! How could you blow it down?”
    The wolf gave a sly grin. “You didn’t think those were real bricks, did you? I made them out of plywood and painted them red.”
    “Wait,” said the little pig. “That was you?”
    “I’ve been known to dress up from time to time,” the wolf replied. “Learned that from my brother. He was into old women though. I prefer pork.”
    “So, you tricked me.” the little pig said.
    “I’m a wolf. Of course I tricked you. It’s what I do. Jeez.”
    “That was very naughty,” the little pig admonished.
    “What, and eating your brothers wasn’t? Look, I’m still hungry, can we get on with this?”
    “You are looking a little lean,” the little pig mused, stroking his chinny chin chin. “But you’ll do.”
    “I’ll — wait, what?”
    And then the little piggy pulled a gun, shot the wolf between his eyes, and roasted him over a spit. He was a little gamey and tough, but he made a nice meal with justice for dessert. Then the little pig went about rebuilding his house in anticipation of the next sorry wolf to knock on his door.

    1. Astrognash Avatar
      Astrognash

      That was wonderful, Mindfield.

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I like this version bestest.

    3. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      I always knew fairy tales were violent. Disney will never make this version.

  13. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    Red bricks, red bricks send plywood right over…

  14. Astrognash Avatar
    Astrognash

    Some Bricks, Two Bricks, Red Bricks, Plywood.

  15. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    Plywood, that cool refreshing drink…

  16. TypoMagic Avatar
    TypoMagic

    She’s a plywood house,
    Mostly prefab, but reasonably priced.
    She’s a plywood house,
    Her layer’s are stacked and that’s quite nice,
    Better than laminate MDF.

    She’s a plywood house,
    3/4 of an inch of
    alternating grain
    She’s glued together as you well know
    You can use screws or nails.

    I need more coffee.

    1. EclecticBlue Avatar
      EclecticBlue

      I tried to adore you, Taco, but the internets said I had invalid cookies 🙁 So, pretend you have a plus!

      1. Addicted Reader Avatar
        Addicted Reader

        I was having a problem with doors, but refresh made it all better.

  17. Bianchi Sound Avatar
    Bianchi Sound

    “can be used as firewood i guess”

    Yes, if you want to get brain damage from the fumes and forget, say, the difference between plywood and bricks.

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      Exactly.
      Glues in plain plywood are not good for living things.
      Glues in exterior-grade plywood are even worse.
      Pressure-treated plywood will be worse of all.

      That latter for having waterproof glue in it, but also either copper salts or copper-arsenic as the treatment chemical –not something very nice to breathe at all.
      (Something tells me that Spark’ is not stealing,borrowing, er, acquiring, his plywood from job sites using borate-impregnated plywood.)

  18. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    Ah, the old bait-and-switch. Lure in the customers with talk of nice sturdy bricks, then tell them you’re all out and get them to pay the same price for the cheap plywood instead. Sparky’s a genius!

  19. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Christina, my dear, have a sideways Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Ur!

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