in these troubled times we must repent! I have seen the light and it is glorious! I am embarking on a journey which provides no use for material items! my lifes belongings are free to the loving children of our lord jesus christ! so many things to see please call to see all the items! they must be gone by dec. 20th please call amber xxx xxx xxxx here are a few items i have pictures for! god bless
I’m just wondering how Amber will verify that individuals are “loving” and thus deserving of the wonderful items from this collection. I guess you’d better have some proof if you want the old guy.
It’s funny she titled it ‘things you need’…why not share her enlightenment with us? And maybe the camera she used to take the pictures, too. I need a good camera.
Okay, I can understand going on a spiritual journey, getting rid of possessions, etc. However, if you’re going on a spiritual journey for the Lord Jesus Christ, shouldn’t you at least try to take his picture with you?
While I know there is an instruction to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply–is it not irresponsible of Sparky to suggest the children engage in “loving”?
Or, is Sparky suggesting that chaste children get no swag?
That, rather sounds like the premise of some B-grade horror movie. All the teens gather in some spot, the hip ones use peer pressure to encourage venality, then the sinful ones are all puréed.
Hmm,
TV to send the evil messages (and show venality) . . .
Spooky Eastern orthodox Ikon (both reminder of Good, and Link to Evil) . . .
Possessed Bicycle by Ronco that is really a Ginzu Transformer . . .
Creeper old dude with guitar strung with bits of gullible goth girls . . .
All that is needed is theme music by either Zombie Apostles or Apostle Zomb
Dunno about S’port, but, it’s a too beautiful a day out to dim with an entire fifth (that, and the sunburn risk is middling high today),
Now, if only I had something not-frozen-rock-hard to pitch on the grill . . .
Angel
Zombie Jesus™ looks as if He’s holding two pencils and is about to try to put out my eyes with them. Just sayin’.
Things I need. Boy, Sparky sure has me pegged. I was just telling my husband the other day how my life was not complete without a bleeding eye Jesus picture and the largest out-of-date television known to man.
I refuse to pick on the old guy. He looks pretty happy for someone who apparently lost his right eye.
Brumpy Wicklestein was a-playin’ his guitar. He was always a-playin’ his guitar, hain’t ne’er done put it down since he picked it up durn near two-score odd years past. He was a guitar-a-playin’ kind of man. But it was gettin’ worse. Upsettin’ his family. First his wife, Ludy, had left ‘im in a fuss when he wouldn’t put ‘the durned thing down an’ make sweet one-eyed socklove!’ with ‘er. Brumpy chuckled, and then gave a great hackin’ cough. There was a flash, an’ he looked up, his fingers still caressing the strings to the Tetris theme. Why, there were his daughter, Amber. “How do, Ambs?”
“Pa, I’m upset by you, an’ y’all bes’ repent unto our Lord, Jeebus the Spice-Christ, afor’n I lose my religion.”
“Nah, Ambs. I play this’n here music for the Clothespin Trinity o’ the Llama-Nun, the Spice-Christ, an’ the Holy Bees.”
“Pa, I’m leavin’ home.”
His fingers switched fluidly to She’s Leaving Home. Amber grunted like a hog.
“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout, Pa. Tell you what, I won’t leave, but y’all gots to get out. I’ma give you’n ‘way to a good home.”
“Y’AINT PUTTIN’ ME IN A HOME!”
“Sure’s hell am, gonna give up all my material possessions for our Savior. Gonna puts ’em up wi’ you on that infernal Craigslist.”
*strum, strum, strum*
Zombie Jesus, give me your answer do
I’m just crazy…
I’m not such a stylish Sparky
Can’t afford HDTV
But we’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two!
What you guys call a soap box, I call brilliant word of mouth marketing. This guys just making sure you all understand that free stuff from a man who has no need for Earthly things, yet somehow acquired the things, are more sought after than those that merely come from someone who doesn’t want his junk anymore. It’s a very subtle marketing ploy that says, “See, this stuff isn’t unwanted junk, but stuff that would otherwise be guarded jealously if not for the fact that I am now above it. So be a heathen and get the Earthly possessions that I am now too good for.” Marketing 101. Good for 3 units.
Welcome, Corey, I took a peek at your blog! Lots of fun stuff there. And, ahem, not that it changes anything, but “this guy” is named Amber. Could be, could be. 8)
Oh ya. Well, I meant, uh, the proverbial “guy”. I also missed an apostrophe, so hey, I’m just a deadbeat over here. Glad to see you’re all smiles. And thanks for the welcome. I heard that a rose by any other name is still a rose even if it’s windy. “What? That guy is weird.”
Amber/the old guy looks scarily like my ex-husband. The guitar looks like his guitar. Same beard and glasses. Of course, he’s been dead for 3 years; not sure if it looks like him before or after he died!
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