You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXVIII

    Large Box of Specimen Cups w/o Lids

    Would make great kids cups. Never been used.

    Jenny sends this one along, saying: “.. Specimen cups?  Like the ones used to keep … specimens?  Specimens such as urine?  Why use any old 50 cent plastic cup for your kid when you can give him one that may or may not have been used to store urine samples (or worse) of people who may or may not have medical problems?  It was listed in free, but I don’t think it’s worth the gamble.”

    I’d have to agree. I think giving my children apple juice in something that looks like this:

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    is only destined to cause them problems later in life.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXVII

    Tahiti Sam Parrot Statue – $200

    Tahiti Sam is about 2 feet tall and looks like he belongs in the enchanted Tiki room at Disneyland. He’s very authentic looking and in very good shape. He would be great to set up in your Tahitian style bar or patio. Very tropical looking. He weighs around 20lbs.

    Sorry, I just redecorated in early tropical monkey, and this would just clash. Unless it sings Jimmy Buffett songs on an endless loop, in which case it would be really, really cool.* Like the Billy Big Mouth Bass.

    *By “cool”, I mean “annoying”.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXVI

    FIREWOOD (SAVE A TREE BUY FROM ME)

    BAGED 4 EASY CARRYIN OR STORAGE..HOPE THE HOLD WORLD WILL READ THIS AD.nothing is impossible so i hear..call me an AMERICAN DREAMER)SO BUY A BAG WON”T YOUtc.
    A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PALLETS..(WOODEN PLATFORMS that are used 2 carry most of our commerce products from razor blades 2 veggs..to keeping your dogs & stuff(HAY) of the ground … WOODEN PLATFORMS BUILT 2 SPECS.MAKE A LONG STOREY SHORT.WE SELL SCRAP SURPLUS THAT WE CANNOT USE.. WE RECYCLE GOIN GREEN REDUCE ..REUSE..RECYCLE. BEEN IN BUSINESS A LONG TIME well learned on FIRE ..
    WE SELL IT BY THE: xxx xxx-xxxx JACK says it’S the best dare wood there is .GREAT 4 INDOOR OR OUT DOOR USE..PISMO,DUMONT,DESERT,RVin.a BAG or 2?
    BAGS 22X36″ $10.00
    CRATES..$50.00 & UP
    TRUNK LOADS..$10.00 & UP
    SMALL PICK UP LOADS $50.00
    CAN DELIVER..ANY WHERE..UPS IF WE HAVE TO.. ? EXPORTIN need heat treated CRATES,PALLETS,any size from 1′ to ? any amount. xxx xxx.xxxx..happy trails to you..see you real soon..

    I can’t parse my way through this one. Is he chopping up pallets for firewood, or selling firewood and pallets? My brain hurts.

    But if Jack says it’s the best dare wood out there, who am I to argue?

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXV

    FREE PIGGY BANKS

    free handmade piggy banks made by [name].

    if you would like to pick them up, call me and ill give you directions.
    my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.

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    In related news, there was an incident at the Make-Your-Own-Pottery place yesterday, in which twenty second graders on a school field trip had to leave before they had finished making spoon holders for their mothers. Authorities said something about a “creepy old guy” who was scaring the children.

    (Is it wrong that the more I look at these, I kind of like them?)

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXIV

    Refridgator

    Side by Side, stop working in good shape otherswise

     

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    To go along with your non-working cars, why not acquire a non-working fridge? I mean, it’s in good shape otherwise, so it could be used for a bookcase, or a storage area, or you could make a go-cart out of it.

    Or is “stop working” an imperative? As in “Stop working! Acquire this fridge!” It’s like Hammer Time but with a fridge. I wonder if it makes vanilla ice?

    By the way, I think I’ve identified why the fridge isn’t working — it has a gator in it! (If you parse “refridgator” properly, it could be “refried gator”.)

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXIII

    Unopened Kraftmaid celing cabinet

    We are giving away a brand new unopened Kraftmaid celing cabinet for FREE!! It is green and very sturdy. Comes with two shelves and all of the hardware. Unfortunately, we have no room in our kitchen for it…it can be used anywhere (kitchen, bathroom, garage, shed, etc). First come, first served. Please call (xxx) xxx-xxxx to pick up.

    Jonathan S. sends this one along, saying, “What aspect of this is unopened, exactly? It’s been taken out of the box, AND the cabinet itself has also been opened.”

    Hmmm. Good points. Maybe it’s a closed-minded cabinet, and it needs to have its mind opened to the wonders of the world. For that I would recommend it be placed with the table and the Nirvana cabinet; maybe our unopened cabinet will learn something about itself and about the world. (Like how to spell “ceiling”, perhaps.)