You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CLXXV

Written by

drmk

in

FREE PIGGY BANKS

free handmade piggy banks made by [name].

if you would like to pick them up, call me and ill give you directions.
my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.

175

In related news, there was an incident at the Make-Your-Own-Pottery place yesterday, in which twenty second graders on a school field trip had to leave before they had finished making spoon holders for their mothers. Authorities said something about a “creepy old guy” who was scaring the children.

(Is it wrong that the more I look at these, I kind of like them?)

Comments

45 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CLXXV”

  1. Budgyrl Avatar
    Budgyrl

    Are those slaughtered pigs? Wow, I’m getting one for my kid right now!

  2. Breane Avatar
    Breane

    I love the one on the right. The one of the left, with the crazy eyes, looks a bit like it will kill me in my sleep

  3. HorribleLicensePlates Avatar
    HorribleLicensePlates

    Okay I call the one with the messed up eyes.

  4. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    The one on the left is bleeding profusely, but still alive. The one on the right, however, is clearly dead, as evidenced by the x eyes.

  5. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    Okay, I’m glad I’m not the only person that sort of liked these …

  6. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    Yeah, but my plans to have a BLT for lunch no longer sound quite so appealing….

  7. Elle Avatar
    Elle

    I love how the title sounds so innocent and normal, and the poor, unsuspecting would-be piggy bank owner has to click on the posting to discover that these are actually the piggy banks from hell.

    BTW, this is my new favorite blog. Thanks for keeping me laughing at work.

  8. Mandee Avatar
    Mandee

    I want them, too! They’re fabulous! My Mama collects pigs…they’re the perfect addition to her collection (and I’ve learned my lesson from the stuffed racoon…don’t *ask* people if they want something, just go get it for them)!!!

  9. Olson Avatar
    Olson

    Yeah, I was kind of thinking I like them too. I guess you have to have a particular kind of sense of humor to go for this sort of thing.

  10. katiekawaii Avatar
    katiekawaii

    Of course not, they’re genius.

  11. late to the party Avatar
    late to the party

    I like them. They probably would have sold on etsy.com, but free is nice too.

  12. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    Okay, we’ve established that the people who read this blog have a warped sense of humor. (To say nothing of the person who writes it).

  13. Biology Avatar
    Biology

    I would pay money for these piggy banks! It would help with my savings. The wounds would remind me how much it hurts to spend the hard earned $!

  14. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    I call the dead one…

  15. Maya Avatar
    Maya

    What are you supposed to put in these piggy banks? Used razor blades?

  16. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    These are kinda cute, if warped, but they’re the type of thing I’d expect to see someone selling on Etsy, not craigslist 😛 That just adds a whole new “aura of creep” to them.

  17. dave Avatar
    dave

    Looks like a ripoff of Gloomy Bear.

    http://www.tokyocube.com/lifestyle.php?subnav=leisure&feature=toys&article=Gloomy%20bear…how%20cute!

  18. Misha Avatar
    Misha

    …is that bird poop on the pig on the left?!

  19. TT Avatar
    TT

    Cute. I want the crazy one on the left 😀

  20. cedar Avatar
    cedar

    Did the crazy eyed one just walk up and find his lover all dead and stuff? That explains his eyes…..

  21. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    The best part is that you have to smash them to get your money out. So the smashed piggy will have blood all over it haha.

    1. Steph Avatar
      Steph

      Well, let’s get to that smashing!

  22. Mindfield Avatar
    Mindfield

    This little piggy went to market.
    This little piggy went home.
    This little piggy had roast beef.
    This little piggy had none.
    This little piggy went OH GOD HE’S GOT AN AXE*, RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

    * May be a splitting maul.

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      The only things with axes in them I’d get from Craigslist are receivers. A pig with an axe in it is not as easy of a fix.

      1. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Quite, and if you let the smoke out of a pig you make a bunch of people cranky since they can’t eat until the smoke ring appears . . .

        1. SilvaNoir Avatar
          SilvaNoir

          mmm smoked bacon

  23. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Maybe they were giving each other piggy back rides, when something went terribly, terribly wrong.

    1. SisterLyle Avatar
      SisterLyle

      That happened to me in highschool, actually… I gave a friend a piggyback ride and a cyst on my ovary burst. I spent the next five hours in the ER while everyone tried to figure out why I was curled into a little, painful ball.

      1. Astrognash Avatar
        Astrognash

        That sounds like the female equivalent of being kicked in the family jewels.
        Which reminds me, you know what’s funny to see? Someone being kicked in the balls while they give someone else a piggy back ride.

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          You have a very twisted sense of funny, Astro. 8) I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.

  24. Raoul LeFere Avatar
    Raoul LeFere

    Mister Potter took an axe
    And gave his piggy many whacks.

    …

    Okay, that sounds like something totally…other is going on. Stopping now. Also, if I did want them, I surely don’t now.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Welcome, Raoul! Let me show you to the comfy couch over in the corner. There may be some cookies left from Friday.

      1. nojazzhere Avatar
        nojazzhere

        DON’T GO, RAOUL!!!!! That’s how they lured the pigs in the first place!!!!!!!….Oh dear!…I wonder what happened to poor Raoul???

  25. CoffDrop Avatar
    CoffDrop

    It’s not wise to abuse pigs:

    The Pig by Roald Dahl

    In England once there lived a big
    And wonderfully clever pig.
    To everybody it was plain
    That Piggy had a massive brain.
    He worked out sums inside his head,
    There was no book he hadn’t read.
    He knew what made an airplane fly,
    He knew how engines worked and why.
    He knew all this, but in the end
    One question drove him round the bend:
    He simply couldn’t puzzle out
    What LIFE was really all about.
    What was the reason for his birth?
    Why was he placed upon this earth?
    His giant brain went round and round.
    Alas, no answer could be found.
    Till suddenly one wondrous night.
    All in a flash he saw the light.
    He jumped up like a ballet dancer
    And yelled, “By gum, I’ve got the answer!”
    “They want my bacon slice by slice
    “To sell at a tremendous price!
    “They want my tender juicy chops
    “To put in all the butcher’s shops!
    “They want my pork to make a roast
    “And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
    “They want my sausages in strings!
    “They even want my chitterlings!
    “The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
    “That is the reason for my life!”
    Such thoughts as these are not designed
    To give a pig great piece of mind.
    Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
    A pail of pigswill in his hand,
    And piggy with a mighty roar,
    Bashes the farmer to the floor…
    Now comes the rather grizzly bit
    So let’s not make too much of it,
    Except that you must understand
    That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
    He ate him up from head to toe,
    Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
    It took an hour to reach the feet,
    Because there was so much to eat,
    And when he finished, Pig, of course,
    Felt absolutely no remorse.
    Slowly he scratched his brainy head
    And with a little smile he said,
    “I had a fairly powerful hunch
    “That he might have me for his lunch.
    “And so, because I feared the worst,
    “I thought I’d better eat him first. “

    1. Jen Avatar
      Jen

      Revolting Rhymes and Mr Dahl’s other works were by far the most popular books in my house growing up. Somehow other children’s books pale in comparison to the vast amounts of gore between his covers, and that’s before Quentin Blake’s marvelously creepy illustrations!

  26. SilvaNoir Avatar
    SilvaNoir

    You could proabably find blank ones at a craft store and paint some up yourself.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      Silva, where’s your sense of adventure? Sure, you could do it yourself, but isn’t it more fun to think of the person who designed these coming to your house to deliver them? And you’ll always wonder, should I move?

  27. Lou Stool Avatar
    Lou Stool

    Is that a tattoo of a heart and arrow on the murderer pig? That’s the doing of an evil genius. Well done!

  28. Jacki S Avatar
    Jacki S

    The one on the left looks like a Zombie Piggy Bank to me. Braiiiinnnnnnssssssssss!

    1. Smedley Avatar
      Smedley

      Wouldn’t that be “Coiiiiinnnnnssssss!”?

  29. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    A slow day at YSaC is Better Than a fast day at DNR. Probably.

    Sister Lyle, please don’t hurt me, I have to do this. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Mesopotamia!

  30. Ethne Avatar
    Ethne

    i’m sorry. but the one on the right is seriously adorable. is that creepy?

  31. Angie Avatar
    Angie

    I have a sneaking suspicion that those are just a lure to get people with really bad taste to come to this seller’s house.
    That said…I am glad they stopped trying to paint eyes and went with the x’s.

  32. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    Nightmare on Wall Street just wasn’t the blockbuster they were hoping for.

  33. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    To our politicians: NO MORE PORK! Or else.

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