You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CLXXVI

Written by

drmk

in

FIREWOOD (SAVE A TREE BUY FROM ME)

BAGED 4 EASY CARRYIN OR STORAGE..HOPE THE HOLD WORLD WILL READ THIS AD.nothing is impossible so i hear..call me an AMERICAN DREAMER)SO BUY A BAG WON”T YOUtc.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PALLETS..(WOODEN PLATFORMS that are used 2 carry most of our commerce products from razor blades 2 veggs..to keeping your dogs & stuff(HAY) of the ground … WOODEN PLATFORMS BUILT 2 SPECS.MAKE A LONG STOREY SHORT.WE SELL SCRAP SURPLUS THAT WE CANNOT USE.. WE RECYCLE GOIN GREEN REDUCE ..REUSE..RECYCLE. BEEN IN BUSINESS A LONG TIME well learned on FIRE ..
WE SELL IT BY THE: xxx xxx-xxxx JACK says it’S the best dare wood there is .GREAT 4 INDOOR OR OUT DOOR USE..PISMO,DUMONT,DESERT,RVin.a BAG or 2?
BAGS 22X36″ $10.00
CRATES..$50.00 & UP
TRUNK LOADS..$10.00 & UP
SMALL PICK UP LOADS $50.00
CAN DELIVER..ANY WHERE..UPS IF WE HAVE TO.. ? EXPORTIN need heat treated CRATES,PALLETS,any size from 1′ to ? any amount. xxx xxx.xxxx..happy trails to you..see you real soon..

I can’t parse my way through this one. Is he chopping up pallets for firewood, or selling firewood and pallets? My brain hurts.

But if Jack says it’s the best dare wood out there, who am I to argue?

Comments

12 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CLXXVI”

  1. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    OK, I had to avert my eyes and focus on a spot on the wall to uncross them after reading that, but I got it. I come from a long line of hillbilly, so I must have picked up some of the jargon and dialect along the way. They are chopping up and seasoning pallets for firewood and selling it quite cheap, actually (that small pick-up load looks like a deal) so that the wood from pallets that would be trashed is actually put to use.

    The only thing I don’t get is who Jack is and why I care what he thinks. Oh well, I guess I would understand if I knew Jack. ;-P Great find.

  2. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Whoever he is.. i’m going to call him an AMERICAN DREAMER.

  3. jen Avatar
    jen

    This is like one of those “I translated it into French, then German, then back to English on Babelfish” things. Nice.

  4. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    My favorite part is his hope that the “hold” world will read his ad.

  5. Monica Hamburg Avatar
    Monica Hamburg

    “BEEN IN BUSINESS A LONG TIME well learned on FIRE ..” Riiight…

    Awesome.

  6. Nate Avatar
    Nate

    One word. Maverick!

  7. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    Yes Andrea, we all know the hold world appreshates baged wood.

  8. dave Avatar
    dave

    I really hope that they are not selling treated wood. The chemicals used in the treating process are very toxic. Particularly bad would be burning such wood indoors. I hope they save up lots of money for the inevitable liability suit, especially given they are in California, home of many lawyers.

    I know, not the point of the blog posting, but…

  9. jenna Avatar
    jenna

    Hey,these are the wood pallets that factories leave outside for free!!! But now I can pay for them, what a great bargain!!!!

  10. Kagenin Avatar
    Kagenin

    I thought of Jack from the track “Can you feel it?” by Mr. Fingers.

    Then again, I’ve probably been playing too much GTA: San Andreas.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can_You_Feel_It%3F

  11. emeff Avatar
    emeff

    The best part is that they are well learned on FIRE. I really wanted to read that as “Well learned. On Fire.”

  12. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Apparently Jack knows wood. And I better not carry on in that theme because we do have young ones who occasionally read this stuff. 8)

Leave a Reply

More posts