We are giving away a brand new unopened Kraftmaid celing cabinet for FREE!! It is green and very sturdy. Comes with two shelves and all of the hardware. Unfortunately, we have no room in our kitchen for it…it can be used anywhere (kitchen, bathroom, garage, shed, etc). First come, first served. Please call (xxx) xxx-xxxx to pick up.
Jonathan S. sends this one along, saying, “What aspect of this is unopened, exactly? It’s been taken out of the box, AND the cabinet itself has also been opened.”
Hmmm. Good points. Maybe it’s a closed-minded cabinet, and it needs to have its mind opened to the wonders of the world. For that I would recommend it be placed with the table and the Nirvana cabinet; maybe our unopened cabinet will learn something about itself and about the world. (Like how to spell “ceiling”, perhaps.)
Yeah, at which point it is no longer “unopened.” I believe that is why they took the picture of the box itself so that you could see that it *hadn’t* been opened. But then don’t you just say “New, never installed/used” – something like that to indicate that yes, it has been removed from its protective cardboard housing, but nobody’s actually used it? It’s free – who the %$@# cares? Which makes it even more stupid to tout its unopened-ness because it doesn’t really matter. And they probably worked so hard hunting and pecking to find the keys to type “unopened”…
I assume that the serious, boring explanation is that they bought two, but can only use one, so they’re photographing the one they’re going to use, not the “unopened” one.
But what fun is that? I, too, enjoyed that it’s opened in, as you say, multiple senses of the word. That is definitely one opened cabinet.
Oh, you’re right. That is the back of the cabinet, not the box. *head shaking* I’m at a loss for words when it comes to the openness of the unopened cabinet – and when it comes to humanity as a whole.
It’s a terrible photo, but, from my time in casework, that’s probably a “milk-paint green” that has some popularity in the “country kitchen look” schema still popular.
It is a color that takes careful balancing of wall, back-splash, floor and counter-top colors to not be oppressed in a dark pea-soup singularity. The fact that the casework manufacturers often choose how glossy/matte the finish is, further complicates the matter.
She keeps Erwin A Schrödinger
In her unopened cabinet
Let him breath toxin she says
Just like that poor old cat
A built-in remedy
For storing some cyanide
At anytime radiation
It may decay
Just as a guess, Spark’ bought a “scratch-n-dent” package of returned cabinetry. This included the corner cabinet they either could not use (or did not know how to use).
[casework design corey] To use this algae-hued bargain, you’d need a corner to start in. Then, you (generally) need wall cabinetry of the same height, to extend from either side (else the use of the corner cabinet is rather silly). So, this cabinet type is foundational, not lagniappe. [/corey]
Next guess: Spark’ considers this “unopened” as, no matter how many times Spark’ pokes their head in, it never, ever, opens to Narnia (or Spark keeps getting to Nunya, and has enough neural glimmer to spot the difference).
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