You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CLXIX

Written by

drmk

in

Sex Coaching for Women and Couples – Free!! m4mw – m4w – 47

Does your sex life go like this?

You both strip
He kisses you a few times
Roughly touches your breasts and pussy
Sucks on your nipples
Intercourse for five minutes (the average man lasts between three to seven minutes)
Then “aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!”
Then he smiles and says “that was great honey!!”
Total time fifteen minutes.

If this is typical, then you need sex coaching. You need the expertise of a guy who has made love to over a hundred women. Modern sex has evolved far beyond the old wham bam thank you maam approach. Great sex is truly an art form.

I can teach you both the art of love and the techniques you need to achieve great love making. For single women, I can teach you the same concepts and how to really please a man. Am I good? Many women over the past few years have called me a sex machine and the marathon man. And I come with a pretty nice physical package.

So what do I get out of this? The pleasure of touching the female, demonstrating various techniques of imparting pleasure … it is coaching through demonstration.

If you are a younger woman and shy, bring a girlfriend along. i can teach you both at once! or even better i could teach a group of women (it would be an exciting first for me).

I have tried this with a few females and couples this past year and to be honest, it is a real turn on for me.

Please note that I am only available daytimes (mon to fri).

Voyeuristic? Creepy? Or just selfless altruism? You decide. Comments?

Comments

24 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CLXIX”

  1. Are you ok? Avatar
    Are you ok?

    Actually, YOU are beginning to creep me out. I have removed your blog from my “favorites”.

  2. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    I guess he/she (Are you ok?) doesn’t understand the difference between message and messenger. Anyway, you almost have to admire this guy for what he’s attempting. “Teaching through demonstration?” Ahem. You would not, however, have to admire someone who falls for it. Double-standards be damned.

  3. Mandee Avatar
    Mandee

    Just creepy. I’d rather take what I’m getting, than have some creepy (probably old) man give us tips (and use all our Kleenex)!

  4. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    Clearly someone has forgotten this is supposed to be a HUMOR blog, making fun of how creepy some of the people who post on craigslist are.

  5. stephanie Avatar
    stephanie

    I think the people of this world are hillarious. If I hadn’t just spilled coffee all over my key board I would write more. LMAO!

  6. Mandy Avatar
    Mandy

    Wow. Just wow.

    Dude is seriously creepy, and desperate.

  7. Allison Avatar
    Allison

    No photo? Awwww.

  8. Michelle Davidson Avatar
    Michelle Davidson

    RE: Are you ok?
    I have lurked here for months and have just added this blog to my favorites. PLUS: I’ve been directing friends to come visit.
    Keep up the good work

  9. TastyPrawn Avatar
    TastyPrawn

    Wow! This guys is SOOO willing to share his great talent! What a great guy!

    Just kidding. Sounds creepy, and I agree what Mandee said: It’s probably some old guy.

  10. carrie. Avatar
    carrie.

    Suggestion – backtrack to the original link? Some of this stuff is so creepy that one might get the idea that it’s made up!

    (Though I know how Craigslist is. Some of those people are just… creepy enough to actually make ads like this, heh.)

  11. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    @Carrie — the problem is that the ads disappear from being flagged, or they expire (after only one week for larger markets, a month for others). The links would go dead very quickly.

    @Are you ok?: Just so we’re clear, I don’t write the ads. I find them, post them, and laugh at them. That’s the point of this blog. I know that this ad was a bit explicit, but I posted it exactly the way it was written.

    @Michelle: Thanks! Please spread the word about the blog … the more people see it, the more people will check their local Craigslist and send in submissions, making the site even better!

  12. jen Avatar
    jen

    If you are a younger woman and shy, bring a girlfriend along. Because there’s nothing a shy young woman wants more than to be physically and emotionally awkward with a good friend!

    Ohhh dear.

  13. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    Yes, I will take sex advice from someone who can’t even write “vagina.”
    Are you ok?: I recomend you check out Passive-Aggressive Notes, your technique could use some improvement.

  14. kristen55 Avatar
    kristen55

    I LOVE this blog! Hilareous! And Are You Ok – you DO realize you had to click through to get to the nasty stuff – but you clicked, didn’t you 😉 Can’t complain if you’re the one with the curiosity!

  15. jocelyn Avatar
    jocelyn

    my favorite line in the the whole ad, just to amp up the creep-factor, is the very last one: “Please note that I am only available daytimes (mon to fri).”
    That is great!
    PS- I love this blog! One of my new favorites. 🙂

  16. Jessie Avatar
    Jessie

    Do you think he coaches just men? Because the whole post sounds more like he thinks men don’t know what they’re doing, so why does he need a woman present? Maybe I’m just overthinking things?

  17. Blonde Savant Avatar
    Blonde Savant

    I wonder if this is the infamous Dimitri the Stud from those voicemails that were wandering around the internet a long while ago…
    Also, huge fan of your blog. I added you to my blogroll.

  18. katg Avatar
    katg

    I’m delurking to tell you that you are on *my* favorites list!

    This is creepy… Although I find it funny that he says that many women have called him a “sex machine” and a “marathon man.” I don’t think those words have ever left my mouth in a non-sarcastic way.

  19. OhReally Avatar
    OhReally

    Wow. I also love the available during the day, mon-fri. I guess the wife is at work…

  20. Dating Is Weird Avatar
    Dating Is Weird

    This guy sounds like one of the dudes on our site who submits really pornographic stories about himself that are clearly b.s. just to see if they’ll get published.

    Egos be damned!

  21. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    LOL. This one’s funny. The comments are even better. ‘Are you ok’ needs to unclench.

  22. Rachael Avatar
    Rachael

    Only available during the day??? M-F??? AW. Damn. Probably because his WIFE is at work! I pray no one responded to this sicko.

  23. SoCal Avatar
    SoCal

    I also am coming out of my lurkhood to comment that this site is effing hilarious and I suspect “are you okay” might be one of those people who think Reno:911 is a “for reals” show, like Cops.
    I’ve been a craigslist user for years and it is so great to laugh with other readers at the frustrating idiots who are all over cl.
    I thought I was the only one who looked for bad ads for laugh material til I found you.

  24. Tammy Avatar
    Tammy

    Love the blog. Can’t seem to stop reading. You have verified what I have been telling everyone for years. The world is going to shit and people are just getting dumber. With that said, now I am sending everyone I know to this blog and posting it on my facebook. I will troll around Kijiji to see what I can find to add. As you’ve proven, stupidity is not exclusive to America, let’s see what my Canadian brothers and sisters have to add. Seriously think this is an awesome site and I’m still reading earlier postings, can’t seem to step away from the computer! Keep up the great work.

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