You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 377: Dachshund is the new chihuahua …

Written by

drmk

in

I am looking for a chihuahua douchound mix

I have always wanted a chihuahua douchound mix or just a douchound or toy chihuahua i just really want a small dog with that doesnt have long hair. my mom finally said for my 18th birthday/ graduation gift she would get me one. So if you are giving a way or selling i would be interested please.

As you all, know, we here at YSaC are all about helping people get what they want*, and this person wants a chihuahua/douchound mix. She’s wanted one for so long that she’s actually gone to the trouble of learning how to spell chihuahua correctly, so we can reward her a little bit, right?

Although really, honey, you don’t want a douchound mix. They smell like vinegar and summer’s eve fragrance. Let’s see what else we can find out there.

datsun / chihuahua puppy – $150

datsun / chihuahua mix for sell to a good home. He is a 2 month puppy very playful and full of energy.

He is black with a little white on his belly.

please call me at xxx xxx xxxx dont email me call i can send a picture through text if u want to see how he looks

Datsun/chihuahua crosses are where it’s at these days — they have a much better temperament than the Mitsubishi/chihuahua mixes. Those have a tendency to eat lots of oil and poop on the driveway.

Maybe the problem is the mixed-with-chihuahua part … maybe people are expending so much effort on getting the word chihuahua right that they’re falling apart on the dachshund part. I’m sure that if it was a purebreed Dachshund that folks would get it right. Right?

Dutch Hound Puppies a month old – $250

I have 3 female and 1 male ducthhound puppies aka wiener dogs. They were born in january so bout a month old. I have both parents of the puppies if you would like to see how big they get. Im asking 250 for each one. I want these puppies to go to a good home that will care for them. Theyre very friendly dogs and small. My family loves them!
(xxx)-xxx-xxxx ask for Gus call me anytime and if i dont pick up leave me a msg or a txt and ill get back at you

Oh. Never mind. (Raevyn sent this one in back in February! See, it can pay to be patient.)

Mini winner dog

We have a mini winner dog that needs a home Iam moving and i cant take her with me.She is almost two every loveable is good with other pets.There is a re-homing fee email me for info

Jen says, “Who wants to re-home a loser dog? No one. Everybody wants to have a winner dog who is “every loveable”, whatever that means.”

*This may not actually be true.

Thanks to Kimberly for the douchound listing, Jason for the Datsun post, Raevyn for the Dutch Hound, and Jen for the winner dog!

Comments

84 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 377: Dachshund is the new chihuahua …”

  1. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    “I want these puppies to go to a good home that will care for them.”

    Screw the puppies! I want the home…. a “good home” that will care FOR them?!? I feel like such a sucker. Here, I’ve been caring for my dogs MYSELF. Where do I get one of these homes that will feed, water, scoop poop, and walk my dogs?

    1. Count Blah Avatar
      Count Blah

      Ooooh the discreet/discrete thing is a GIANT pet peeve for me. I once responded to a guy looking for a “discrete” affair, just so I could tell him “Unless you’re screwing your wife and the other woman at the same time, it would HAVE to be ‘discrete’, wouldn’t it now?”

      He didn’t reply. :'(

  2. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    I am looking for an English teacher / Proofreader mix

    I have always wanted a properly spelled and punctuated ad i just really want a post that doesnt make me think that humanity is doomed. Please we need more properley speelled ads so if your an English teacher or a prooffreader you can offer your services? to these pour souls? or maybe CL caneven have a spellchecker built into the posting processes? … if i could just cuddle with an English teacher / Proofreader mix that would be cool too. even if Spider Man and god r watching. please be discrete

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      I have a pedant-gree, do I qualify?

      1. Liz Avatar
        Liz

        Ouch. 🙂

      2. Mein Truly Avatar
        Mein Truly

        I’m a grammar Nazi, and I wear a schwa-sticker to prove it.

    2. johnie r Avatar
      johnie r

      Please, if you’re going to complain about poor punctuation and grammar, do so with proper punctuation and grammar.
      “you’re” instead of “your”, properly instead of properley, spelled….. instead of, you know, speelled.

      yikes

      1. mstmompj Avatar
        mstmompj

        Uh, johnie r, meet sarcasm. Sarcasm, johnie r.

    3. Meghan Avatar
      Meghan

      I get the feeling that even if Craigslist had a spell check it’d go quite unnoticed.

  3. kt Avatar
    kt

    can’t imagine someone texting they want a “douchound” from these people

    “lyk OMG dog 4 sale? kewl :)”

  4. HappyNat Avatar
    HappyNat

    Datsun mixes are very rare in the last 20 years it seems I can only find Nissan mixes.

  5. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    See, this is why everybody should use Firefox. You might not be able to figure out what you really meant by “douchhound,” but you’ll at least know that you spelled it wrong.

  6. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    Would the Datsun mix qualify for the cash for clunkers?

  7. cleaseltheweasel Avatar
    cleaseltheweasel

    I used to work in a vet hospital and new clients had to fill out a form with info about their pets, including breed. We saw “Datsun” and “doxson” all the time. Also “rock waller” or “rock wilder” for Rottweiler. Sometimes they didn’t even try to spell Chihuahua and would just put “taco bell” instead.

    Perhaps these CL’ers are portraying themselves as really, really stupid on purpose so that people will feel compelled to rescue the dogs from them. At least I hope that’s what’s happening.

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      Taco bell?! Humanity IS doomed.

    2. anon Avatar
      anon

      I’d like a Taco Bell / Spuds MacKenzie mix please…

    3. MoxieHart Avatar
      MoxieHart

      Ugh, if you can’t spell rottweiler then you should automatically be disqualified from owning one.

    4. bonni Avatar
      bonni

      Taco Bell = dog FOOD, but not dog meat.
      But still:
      HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!

      Rock wilder = now I have the B-52s ‘Rock Lobster’ song stuck in my head!!

  8. DW Avatar
    DW

    Thankfully, I have a poodle. It’s hard to speel poodle rong.

    1. Count Snarkula Avatar
      Count Snarkula

      Poodel, poodull, pudole…

  9. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    A douchound sounds like a very saucy dog.

    1. andrea Avatar
      andrea

      A douchound sounds like a real a-hole.

  10. MoxieHart Avatar
    MoxieHart

    Mix Spencer Pratt’s DNA with a dog and you get a douchound.

    1. Heather Avatar
      Heather

      Heh. Yeah, I was going to say that one may find many douchounds at the bar on a Friday or Saturday night…not difficult to locate at all.

  11. cindi Avatar
    cindi

    A douchound/chihauhau mix is called a Cheweenie. Maybe that would be easier to speel, lol.

  12. socal refugee Avatar
    socal refugee

    She graduated? From what?

    1. ratwoman Avatar
      ratwoman

      She didn’t, actually – they just told her she did because they felt sorry for her.

  13. Cath Avatar
    Cath

    Maybe the listers are subconsciously remembering an old “WKRP In Cincinnati” episode where Les Nessman kept pronouncing the dog breed as “chee hoooah hooah”. It makes it surprisingly easier to remember how to spell it, when you pronounce it that way! lol Unfortunately there was no corresponding episode with any Dachshunds in them. Too bad for these guys.

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      Ah, Les Nessman pronouncing Chi-Chi Rodriguez as “Kai Kai rod REE goo ease” . . .

  14. Jerod Poore Avatar
    Jerod Poore

    I still can’t wrap my head around why the fuck anyone would want a Dachshund-Chihuahua mix.

    Is it to make their kid with severe ADHD, whom they refuse to treat with medication, seem less hyperactive in comparison? Do they have some sort of Hapsburg fetish, but their geography is as bad as their spelling? Maybe it’s a passive-aggressive ploy to annoy their neighbors into moving?

    1. Amber Avatar
      Amber

      We have one that is very sweet and quite cute, actually.

      But he wandered into our yard one day and kept him-I’m not sure why anyone would want that mix in particular, especially considering how problem prone those breeds can be.

  15. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    A must read: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1186113851.html

    And for your reading pleasure, I’ve pasted it here. You lazy assholes.

    Pet Ad Translations
    Date: 2009-05-23, 9:47PM PDT

    Puppy’s = PUPPIES
    puppie = PUPPY
    Applys = APPLIES
    rare = degenerate
    photo of dogs in a chicken-wire cage = I’m a BYB who’s too cheap to buy a kennel
    they’re 6 weeks old…(or anything under 8 ) = Unless you have proof that the vet has OKed their separation from their mother (and by all means, state that in your ad if you do), your sale is ILLEGAL in the state of California
    Mom is an X, Dad is a Y = I knowingly or accidentally bred these dogs. Either way, you’re not “re-homing” them. You’re finding their first home, and that’s a sale unless you are a 501(c)3
    The litter was accidental, I’m not a breeder, it’s not my fault = Unless you happened to purchase/adopt a pregnant pooch, there’s NO SUCH THING as an accidental litter. It’s called negligence when you NEGLECT to spay and your dog unwantingly has puppies. Even if the neighbor’s superdog happened to get under/over your fence. Your own damn fault.
    Don’t flag my ad = There’s an obvious reason to flag
    OBO = I don’t care enough about the dog to find a good home, I just need money and need it fast
    I’m downsizing my home, I am moving and can’t take with = I’m too cheap/inconsiderate to look for a place for my dog/cat
    post in every city = I’m desperate because no one wants my backyard bred dog
    purebread = PUREBRED (Unless for some strange reason your dog is white or wheat)
    My kid became allergic, I’m having a baby and can’t keep my X month old puppy = You didn’t do your research and now a poor dog has to suffer. Ignorant.
    For Sell = FOR SALE
    Saleing = Selling (also, not allowed)
    Dog is Hypo-Allergenic…You can have this dog if your kids have allergies!! = Listen, there’s NO SUCH THING as a hypo-allergenic dog. The allergens live in the skin (or saliva), not the hair. So get your kids tested, and make sure that if there’s a concern, you take the dog on a TRIAL basis. A respectable breeder and rescue would honor that request. Also, while poodles don’t shed much, they do shed some. Like humans, you shed cells, hair… Dog’s aren’t magical.
    ask about re-homing fee, email for more info = I’m charging $500 + and am too chicken to post it on here
    I can’t respond to emails = Well then how the hell did you post? / There shall be no proof of my misdemeanors
    AKC/CKC registered = I paid a bit more so that you will pay a helluva lot more and think that it means the dog is quality (if you went to the AKC website you’d realize that any dog listed ask AKC registered that is up for sale is supposed to come with a specific disclaimer attached… but you already knew that didn’t you?)
    Chiwawa, Chichuachua, Chiuaua, and the best one, Chichuaga = CHIHUAHUA
    Doxon = You don’t know anything about the breed you’re trying to sell
    part Datsun= Perhaps it’s a Japanese mixed breed. Hopefully it has low mileage.
    -ipoo, -doodle, pom/x, and other crazy mixes = I’m trying to make it sound like a designer breed, even though it was really an accident/bred for quick $$ without considering the individual qualities of the breeds I mixed
    wanted, X breed dog for cheap or free = #1, how about you do a petfinder.com search, or even a google search for local breed clubs. #2, use the ‘wanted’ section of CL where it’s also not allowed to post requesting animal sales fyi, #3 most of you sound like you should never own a dog, let alone the breed you’re asking for
    I want $1000+ for my puppy = I live on another planet
    I’m selling my …. = I can’t read the craigslist rules
    I will pay you to rent your dog to mate with my dog = Again, can’t read the craigslist rules
    thanks for flagging, you’re just helping me = This is my last attempt to get flaggers off my back / I’m panicking
    All rescues suck = I’m a breeder / I was rejected by a rescue / I make gross generalizations without research
    doesn’t have shots / not spayed/neutered = I’m too cheap of a breeder to do it myself, so on top of a $300 ‘re-homing’ fee I expect you to do it yourself
    I need to re-home my 8 week old puppy. I’m not a breeder. = 8 weeks is the minimum age you can sell a dog unless you have vet approval. If you have to re-home an 8 week old dog, you’re an @$$#@!E or a breeder. Either way, you fail.
    “Get rid of” = I can’t even pretend I care
    kitten wanted/looking for kitten to adopt=i’m too lazy to look at a single craigslist page and therefore haven’t noticed the dozens of ads for kittens posted nearly every day.
    i’m having a baby and can’t keep my cat= what exactly do you think that your cat is going to do to a baby? even if your kitty is temperamental, overly rambunctious, or has a fondness for sleeping on people’s faces (a potential hazard around an infant); unless your cat is superkitty it shouldn’t be too difficult to close her out of the baby’s room–and the rest of the time one can assume that baby is under your close eye.
    I want to trade my… = I have a short attention span and lack a heart. I treat my pets like baseball cards.
    flaggers are bored, loser, lame, lop, nothing else better to do, spouseless, kidless, jobless (unless CL hired them), petless, no social skills besides those applied to flagging/ranting/raving, most likely P.E.T.A advocates. = If flaggers are worthless and have no friends, pets, etc… why are your panties in a bunch about them. If they don’t matter to you, you aren’t showing it. By the way, I’m a flagger. I have a job that pays pretty darn well. It gives me the time to come home, play with my pups (multiple) and take them to the dog park, network professionally and socially when applicable, was voted onto homecoming court and best personality way back when, participate in volunteering efforts, have friends globally, and don’t have any interest in PETA. I’m curious where you’re getting your facts… try taking a ‘flagger’ poll. I guarantee you there’s no one type of person that flags posts. Seems you fit into that lovely category of ‘gross generalizations’.

    Feel free to email me with more suggestions to add to this list. Angry posts from breeders and haters will be entertaining. I’d be happy to share them on here too.

    * Location: Frequently Seen

    1. D / DM Avatar
      D / DM

      I lost interest about halfway through that pile of self-righteous horse shit. I can honestly say this is the first time a comment on YSaC has made me angry, and I know you didn’t write it, but I feel bad for the family of the person who did. What a pain in the ass that person must be.

      1. Amanda Avatar
        Amanda

        Yeah, it’s a bit long, but I completely understand the poster’s frustration. Anyone who has spent any time looking for a pet on Craigslist or reading the flag help forum knows that every single one of those points is true (and all too common). It’s easy to get angry and self-righteous when you see the same idiots posting the same junk day in and day out.

      2. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Dunno, and being from “the future” I’m still impressed with how it is either a matt-corey cross (that pun is accidental) or a corey-matt cross.

        And, it’s clear that righteous indignation seems to prevent use of bullets or even paragraphs, so it does run into tl;dr territory.

        1. pfmasta Avatar
          pfmasta

          Actually- no self-righteousness involved. Simply a collection of frustrated moments by myself, as well as those emailed to me by other people. Honestly, I don’t think that some pointed ranting is “self-righteous” in response to someone that decides to disregard a life, be it human or otherwise. In fact, it’s more, other-righteous. Seeing as how said angry poster (D/DM) last wrote their own frustration with the post in 2009 I doubt you’ll ever respond nor even see this. The fact of the matter is, I’m glad it made them angry. It SHOULD make you angry that people are out there so willing to throw their pets away. Or perhaps you’re upset because you were one of them. That makes me sad.

          And to CapnMac, when the post was written craigslist would not allow page breaks made in the text box to stand beyond the initial 1 line (without html coding. After being flagged down multiple times by BYBs in the Bay Area, it lost formatting by way of re-posting until it was voted into best of. Now you know.

        2. One Moving Violation Avatar
          One Moving Violation

          Well pf, it did get read.

  16. Baby M Avatar
    Baby M

    A dachshund-chihuahua mix? I can see the Taco Bell commercial now:

    “You vill drop der chalupa, und you VILL LIKE IT! Schnell!”

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      ¡Queiro jetzt yo wienerschnitzel aqui!

  17. The Doggonest Things! « Hemmingford Dog Blog

    […] Where else could you find a cross between a ‘Dutch Hound’ and a “Datsun’? •Not Craigslist• […]

  18. tigprincess Avatar
    tigprincess

    I just came to this post after the nude carer for the elderly so lost it completely when I got to the douchound….

  19. Sirk Avatar
    Sirk

    well I HAVE a CHIHUAHUA Dachshund* mix so she can suck it

    *I, sadly, have no idea how to spell the breed of my own dog so pardon

  20. zellion Avatar
    zellion

    Regarding the prospect of a “douchound,” someone at my job was posting a for sale ad on our local intranet for a half-Datsun.

    I spent a good 15 minutes staring at the ad, trying to figure out who would buy half a car before I realized she was actually selling a DOG that was half dachshund.

    Dictionaries, people.

  21. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    You say douchound, I say dauchshund
    You say winner, I say chihuahua
    Douchound, dauchshund, winner, chihuahua
    Let’s call the whole thing off.

    1. LimeLolly Avatar
      LimeLolly

      Hey, I’ve got the ‘Chihuahua Breeder Network’ ad now. The things that happen when you spell correctly…. hmm, that might be the answer why sparkies can’t spell. Things would happen.

      1. Dave and the ferret Avatar
        Dave and the ferret

        I’m now getting the Dachshund Breeder Network.

        1. LimeLolly Avatar
          LimeLolly

          Stop spelling correctly! I mean…

          Staup speeling corecktly!

        2. kelli Avatar
          kelli

          I have a blank spot where the ads normally are.

      2. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        But– but, da puppies! Awwwww.

  22. Dave and the ferret Avatar
    Dave and the ferret

    Everybody loves a winner,
    So no one re-homed me.
    Lady Dachshund and Chihuahua,
    That’s what I long to be.
    Well, all the odds are, they’re in my favor.
    I’m so friendly and small.
    It’s got to happen, happen sometime.
    Don’t just email me; call!

  23. TypoMagic Avatar
    TypoMagic

    Wasn’t the winner dog already picked up by Charlie Sheen?

    1. Smedley Avatar
      Smedley

      He’s having trouble keeping it lit.

  24. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Wow. Reading all the comments that were all ready here, I am thinking:

    A. The Original Corey was johnie r

    B. There wasn’t much sense of community going on in the comments yet. Ouch!

    C. Anyone want to hold hands and sing Kumbaya?

    1. CapnMac Avatar
      CapnMac

      In re C; no, but a rousing round of “The Philospher’s Song” would be mete. And fun. And following that with “Every Sperm is Sacred” for the irony of it.

    2. ToBScholarly Avatar
      ToBScholarly

      I was thinking the same thing – commenters playing too much Angry Birds perhaps?

      1. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Was Angry Birds out in mid-2009?

  25. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Noni, hope you get to come visit today. You’re in the box! Don’t mind all the glue and paper rolls. We’re just redecorating a little.

    1. nonsensicalcat Avatar
      nonsensicalcat

      I’m here! I’m running a little late, but I made it. I’ve already hung pictures up today in this house, maybe I can help with the redecorating in the box!!!!!!!!!!! I’m also caffeinated.

  26. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    I really wanted the Dutch hound, but I just can’t stand the sound of his little wooden shoes on my tile floor. He’ll have to wait for someone with wall to wall carpeting.

  27. LaKitta Avatar
    LaKitta

    “Mini winner”

    Ruh-roh. Is Charlie trying to sell off the “& A Half” kid before CBS has a chance to reboot the series?

  28. Mindfield Avatar
    Mindfield

    Well, I’ve already covered Datsuns, but I’ve never seen a douchehound, dutch hounds, or winner dogs. However, I have to wonder how you can spell chihuahua correctly but not dachshund. Spanish is okay, it’s German people have a problem with. Yo quiero un perro is probably easier to remember than Ich will einen Hund.

    Yo quiero un perro
    Un chihuahua
    Yo cuando vuelva regrese a mi pequeño apartamento
    Deseo oír a alguien corteza
    ¡Oh, usted puede conseguir solitario!

    (Okay, so it doesn’t quite translate. Close enough.)

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      http://www.nextdaypets.com/directory/breeds/1100098/

      The Dutch Hound is actually very attractive, a shepherd type. Did you know that in Europe, shepherd dogs were bred to protect the herds from wild predators, but in the UK, most of the predators were killed off. Those shepherd dogs are bred to move the herd. Very interesting.

  29. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Considering the Citröen-dachshund is one of the least-useful, highest-maintenance breeds to come out of Alsace . . .
    So, the Datsun-Chihuahua might be a better auto buy, even if one must search for are-badged Nissan-Coahuila instead . . .

  30. jg Avatar
    jg

    Had to post today, only because of the subject matter. My two longhaired dachshunds say hi!

    Edit: crap! They’re not there! Damn lemur!

    1. jg Avatar
      jg

      Yay! Pups are back.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Awww! Da puppies!

        1. Limelolly Avatar
          Limelolly

          Puppies!!

        2. HamCan Avatar
          HamCan

          Puppies?
          😀

  31. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    [utterly OT (other than having a sing-song and some poodles)]
    “This” was fun.
    It may also be yet more proof that all possible futures will have mecha and the Japanese will be first (and very polite about it).
    [/ot]

    1. Smedley Avatar
      Smedley

      That was cool. I like how at the beginning, Grandma can’t figure out how to get out of the way.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        That WAS fun! I like the way so many people just ignored them. I would have tried to watch the whole bit, or joined in, or something. Of course, I am an attention seeking person.

    2. Mindfield Avatar
      Mindfield

      That’s Genki Sudo (“Space Walker”). It seems to be his schtick, as seen in their other videos, such as Mind Shift and World Order. They’re cool videos though, and I dig the music, even if I can only understand the bits they sing in heavily-accented English. Interestingly, Genki Sudo used to be an MMA fighter, and apparently a good one.

  32. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    This is a random post. Please do not let your dog of any breed water it. Thank you.

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      So it’s okay if my Cats water it? They’re probably still drunk from last night and will water anything.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Ugh. No cat’s water either. Especially after an all-night bender.

    2. Mindfield Avatar
      Mindfield

      This is a random reply. May contain traces of nuts.

  33. Ziaheart Avatar
    Ziaheart

    “I have 3 female and 1 male DUCTHHOUND puppies aka wiener dogs.”

    How typically male. Duct tape- uh, ducthound puppies solve all life’s problems.

    1. Limelolly Avatar
      Limelolly

      Which side is the shiny side?

  34. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    After clicking on it all day, I wonder what a mahbye actually is. Did Dan put in the misspelling on purpose, or is he curious to see who notices it? If anyone asks, I didn’t notice it. Nope, not me.

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      I see mabye.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Dang! Misspelled a misspelling! I’ll be in the corner.

  35. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan


    I wish I were an Mini Dutch Douchound Datsun Chihuahua Winner
    That is what I truly wish to be
    Cause if i were a Mini Dutch Douchound Datsun Chihuahua Winner
    Everyone would wear a glove
    Oh everyone would wear a glove
    Everyone wear a glove to love me

  36. ToBScholarly Avatar
    ToBScholarly

    How many mpg can you get from a datsun-chihuahua mix? I hear the hybrids are pretty fuel-efficient.

  37. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    nonsensicalcat, put down the glue roller and don’t try to hide behind the ladder. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Azabu-Hiroo District!

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