Liz sends in some “Missed Connections” posts, with this explanation:
“Okay, so there is this guy who ALWAYS posts Missed Connections on our local CL. He always writes the same things, so we always know it’s him. And now we also know that when a 37-year-old pops up on there, it’s most likely him. Some of our favorite lines of his are: “You was pretty and sexy,” “I want to hook up with you,” “we made eye contact,’ and, our favorite, “hope the girl see this.”
We (me and my co-workers) have been following this guy’s posts for about 3 months now. Every time one pops up, he’s at a new location, and it’s always some sort of eatery. We just don’t understand how one guy can have soooo many missed connections in his lifetime, and it’s always when he’s at lunch or dinner! These are just three that he’s posted in the past month.”
waitress at The Grill – m4w – 37
Date: 2009-06-05, 10:40PM EDT
was eating at the grill on June 4 around 7:30pm.the waitress was young and fine.she had long dark hair with black jeans on and white shirt.if you are the girl tell me what i was wearing or what i order to eat.we chat a little.really would love to hook up with the girl.hope the girl see this.the girl shirt was low cut and showing some clevage
Why do I get the feeling that by “we chat a little” the guy means, “You asked me what I wanted to eat, brought me my food, asked if you could refill my Coke, and then brought me my check”? And that he thinks that means that they’re soulmates? Well, they were soulmates until a few weeks later, at least, when …
girl at mc d – m4w – 37
Date: 2009-06-22, 10:29PM EDT
girl walk in McD on the east side of Athens on June 22 at lunch time.the girl had on white tight jeans and green shirt.she walk right beside me.not sure her name.she was very pretty and sexy.she really look good in the tight jeans.would love to hook up with her.if the girl see this tell me what you order so i will know it was you or tell me where was i when you walk by me.
I’m kind of afraid of that last bit, because if the answer isn’t “You were sitting in a booth” then it must be something like, “You were squeezing your 350-pound belly through the opening at the top of the slide” or “holding your mouth open under the ketchup dispenser”.
girl at Sonic – m4w – 37
Date: 2009-06-23, 9:10PM EDT
i was at Sonic on Lexington Road on June 23 at lunch time.we made eye contact a few times.the girl had on black shorts and pink shirt.i watch her put on roller skates.the girl was fine and would love to get to know her more and hook up with her.the girl worked there.if you are the girl tell me your name or what was i driving.
Silly me. I always thought that “Missed Connections” posts involved both parties actually being aware of the existence of the other, not just one creepy guy staring at women in fast food restaurants and using it to make a compendium of his masturbatory fantasies.
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