You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: speeling prolbems

  • YSaC, Vol. 426: RVPS, plz.

    invitationes four your event

    I made invitatationes four your event
    if you want more information can you
    send meil !!
    tenks..

    They’ve made invitations for my event! I haven’t even told them what my event IS yet, but they’ve already made them! I hope their company name is the Psychic Printing Service. That’d be awesome — you walk in and say, “I need …” and they say, “We know,” and hand you your already-completed order.

    The only problem is that your invitations would end up looking something like this:

    Mr. and Mrs. Becky and Tim requesest you’re prersents

    at the baptitizim of there daog Miffy.

    Pleze can you send meil two let us no if your comming !!

    tenks..

    Thanks to Corie for the submission! (This was posted under “Clothing & Accessories” for some reason, so I’m categorizing it there as well as where it should belong.)

  • YSaC, Vol. 423: The dishwasher hates children, though.

    ONE OF A KIND WHITE FRIDGE TOP AND BOTTOM ONLY – $250

    THIS REFRGERATOR IS EMMACUANT AND VERY FAMILY FRIENDLY. THIS FRIDGE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS ALL HOUGH THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE PART WITHIN 10-15 MINUTES ITS COLD. I HATE TO GIVE IT UP BUT I AM MOVING AND NEW PLACE ALREADY HAS FRIDGE. IF INTERESTED PLEASE EMAIL AT
    STEPHEYxxxx@YAHOO.COM

    HAVE TO PICK UP

    423

    Tonya sends in this ad, saying, “Okay … first of all it’s “one of a kind” — umm … it’s a fridge. I don’t have to go into the all caps section of our program, but I do have to mention this line: ‘ALL HOUGH THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IF YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE PART WITHIN 10-15 MINUTES ITS COLD.’ In a fridge!? NO WAY! That’s just amazing.”

    The thing that makes this fridge a one of a kind is clearly that you only get the top and bottom of it. There’s no middle to the fridge. Think about it: is there a middle of the fridge in that picture? See? Q.E.D., bitches.

    I’ve known people to get oddly attached to some pretty strange things, but this person sounds a little too fond of her fridge. The fridge has been good to you? She’s one step away from insisting that it go to a good home and calling the sales price a rehoming fee and requesting visitation rights.

    Thanks, Tonya!

  • YSaC, Vol. 414: Digital killed the film star.

    I didn’t get the subject line of this ad, but it hardly seems necessary:

    minolla camera comes with its own case works good dont need it I have a digitall $60 firm

    cash only please serious inquires only

    susie or cliff xxx-xxx-xxxx

    You sure you don’t need that Minolta, Sparky?

    I’ve never gotten seasick from a picture before, but you’ve managed to do it somehow. The only way this is an acceptable picture to post on Craigslist is if you took it while riding the Tilt-A-Whirl at your local meth-freak-run carnival. In fact, that bedspread sort of looks like someone had too many blueberry Icees and cotton candy.

    Thanks for the submission, Tyler!

  • YSaC, Vol. 411: Next thing you know, people will be buying things in Second Life. Oh, wait.

    Twitter Account — 5,000 followers!!! – $200

    OVER 5000 followerers to tweet your messages to. Many people have a hundred or two.. you can get your blog, website, business, etc out to 5000 people at one time. OVER 5000 people!!! Yes your reading that right. I looked on Ebay and someone wants 100.00 for 300 followers. 200 is a great price for 5000 followers!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 5000.You can use your business name (if still available) and any email you want… I take paypal only.. Or if your in the hudson valley, I’m in fishkill and I can take cash.

    Or you could, you know, open your own free Twitter account and get followers the old fashioned way.

    Here’s the thing that confuses me the most about this — let’s say you start a Twitter account and get 5,000 followers by tweeting things related to happy fluffy bunnies or something. (Everyone loves happy fluffy bunnies, right?) And then you decide, for whatever reason, to sell your happyfluffybunny Twitter account, and it gets bought by someone who, I don’t know, sells steampunk goggles made from old tuna fish cans.

    Suddenly happyfluffybunny is now tweeting about the merits of Chicken of the Sea cans vs. generic cans. Why would the happyfluffybunny people stick around for the SteampunkTuna tweets? Doesn’t anyone ever un-follow anyone on Twitter? I mean, the first time SteampunkTuna starts posting about poptop lids vs can opener lids, wouldn’t his followers drop from 5,000 to 37 immediately? There’s not much of an overlap in the Venn diagram of happyfluffybunny lovers and SteampunkTunaGoggle aficionados.

    Or maybe it’s just me.

    Speaking of Twitter, and me, you should really follow You Suck at Craigslist on Twitter! (See what I did there?) I post random hilarious things there including bonus short Craigslist ads and strange search engine results. (How did someone end up on YSaC by searching for “stewardess flatulence”? Never mind, I don’t want to know.)

    Thanks for the submission, Dani!

  • YSaC, Vol. 403: Wait, I thought you meant a Volkswagen Thing.

    big golf thing

    it is a huge round thing used to hit balls into golf balls babee base balls and foot balls
    its free come and get it
    call me xxx-xxx-xxxx

    I’ve always wanted a big golf thing. I’ve been looking for one for years! Now my life is complete.

    Wait, what?

    Thanks to val_veeta for sending this one in!

    A bit of administrivia: Some eagle-eyed commenters have already noticed the comment scoring option I added over the weekend. Each comment now has a small +1 symbol inside it, which you can click to indicate your approval of a comment. I thought it might be fun — hope you enjoy it!

  • YSaC, Vol. 398: Preserving the sanctity of marriage!

    Lets get married tomorrow – 22

    I decided tomorrow I want to get married, So any takers. Im attractive, not a psycho…well not completly:)- have a job, car, my own place, im very independent…i love sex and my husband will have to be able to keep up with me…ive never wanted to get married…ever. But life is pretty boring right now and i feel like if i get married at least its something exciting. So ur probably wondering if im all these great things why dont I have a man…ha I get asked that everytime i go on a first date. I always dread that question, but truth is once i sleep with the man i lose interest…stupidly. But i figure if im married, that means A this person is as spontaneous as I am, B I cant just walk away…and C hopefully he will satisfy me.
    AND I dont want to get messages saying marriage is sacred I cant do this blah blah blah because to that i say bullshit. Anyone should be allowed to get married to who they choose and get married for whatever reasons they choose. I choose to marry a stranger because maybe that stranger is who im looking for.
    I will send a photo if I recieve a photo…Im looking for someone thats between 21-33, attractive…obviously 🙂 Has their own place, job, ect. Someone who has his shit together but crazy enough to marry a stranger…
    PS i dont cook!

    Mandy sends this one in, saying:

    “What a way to cure boredom… for a day.

    My favorite part about this is that she doesn’t ever go past a first date because she loses interest once she sleeps with the man… at least we know she puts out on the first date.

    Plus, if she gets bored with a guy after sleeping with him once, why not marry him, and be stuck being bored until they inevitably get divorced! That sounds like a fabulous idea!!

    “Life is pretty boring right now.” I imagine her sitting around, thinking to herself, I am so bored tonight. What should I do? Take a walk? See a movie? Have a picnic? Nah… Those don’t sound exciting at all. How about I propose to a stranger? Perfect, boredom resolved.

    So… ANY takers.”

    Yep, that about covers it. I’m sure she sees this as spontaneous and romantic, just like in the movies — and in the movies, things always work out! Sure, there will be a rough patch or two and some obstacles that they’ll have to overcome, but eventually there will be a montage and love will overcome all. I’m sure she’s not considering things like the other crazy people who post personal ads on Craigslist. (Yes, each one of those words is a different link.)