YSaC, Vol. 411: Next thing you know, people will be buying things in Second Life. Oh, wait.

2009 September 1

Twitter Account — 5,000 followers!!! – $200


OVER 5000 followerers to tweet your messages to. Many people have a hundred or two.. you can get your blog, website, business, etc out to 5000 people at one time. OVER 5000 people!!! Yes your reading that right. I looked on Ebay and someone wants 100.00 for 300 followers. 200 is a great price for 5000 followers!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 5000.You can use your business name (if still available) and any email you want… I take paypal only.. Or if your in the hudson valley, I’m in fishkill and I can take cash.

Or you could, you know, open your own free Twitter account and get followers the old fashioned way.

Here’s the thing that confuses me the most about this — let’s say you start a Twitter account and get 5,000 followers by tweeting things related to happy fluffy bunnies or something. (Everyone loves happy fluffy bunnies, right?) And then you decide, for whatever reason, to sell your happyfluffybunny Twitter account, and it gets bought by someone who, I don’t know, sells steampunk goggles made from old tuna fish cans.

Suddenly happyfluffybunny is now tweeting about the merits of Chicken of the Sea cans vs. generic cans. Why would the happyfluffybunny people stick around for the SteampunkTuna tweets? Doesn’t anyone ever un-follow anyone on Twitter? I mean, the first time SteampunkTuna starts posting about poptop lids vs can opener lids, wouldn’t his followers drop from 5,000 to 37 immediately? There’s not much of an overlap in the Venn diagram of happyfluffybunny lovers and SteampunkTunaGoggle aficionados.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Speaking of Twitter, and me, you should really follow You Suck at Craigslist on Twitter! (See what I did there?) I post random hilarious things there including bonus short Craigslist ads and strange search engine results. (How did someone end up on YSaC by searching for “stewardess flatulence”? Never mind, I don’t want to know.)

Thanks for the submission, Dani!

69 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 September 1
    Max H. permalink

    5,000 followers for sale =

    4,988 spam accounts
    1 roommate (guy whose couch he crashes on)
    1 high school friend who did it to be nice
    10 organizations who found him through the two previous followers

    Adores: 15
  2. 2009 September 1
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Oh, snap, I need 5K followers for my stewardess flatulence Twitter group.

    Adores: 21
    • 2009 September 1

      Skillfully done – YSaC now Googles first with “stewardess flatulence”……..

      Adores: 10
  3. 2009 September 1

    And I quote: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

    Adores: 1
  4. 2009 September 1
    marn permalink

    SteampunkTunaGoggle aficionados. Hah!

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 1
      dissimilitude permalink

      SteampunkTunaGoggle aficionados cracked me up, too.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 1

        I would like a pair of steam punk tuna googles, please, in BumbleBee design (they transform into sunglasses for if you ever get out into daylight.)

        Adores: 9
  5. 2009 September 1
    queensbee permalink

    are you kidding ME? ugh. this asshat lives in my similar geographic area. got an idea for ya bub — go sit in another part of the basement.

    Adores: 4
  6. 2009 September 1
    Ecbnt permalink

    What’s this about fluffing happy bunnies?

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 1
      HappyNat permalink

      Fluffy Happy Bunnies, it’s what’s for dinner.

      Adores: 8
    • 2009 September 1
      pixie721 permalink

      My understanding is that fluffing makes anything happy – bunny, donkey, or porn star. I feel sorry for the fluffers. Carpal tunnel/repetitive stress must be an issue for them, don’cha know.

      Adores: 12
      • 2009 September 1
        SoundsLikeVla permalink

        Yep! I’m on dissability for being a union fluffer.

        Adores: 6
  7. 2009 September 1
    Amaia permalink

    He wants cash for selling virtual fans/customers?

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 February 20
      sarajean80 permalink

      Well, Sparky can’t sell the real fans/customers, there’s some kind of law against that sort of thing.

      Adores: 4
  8. 2009 September 1
    Count Blah permalink

    I thought I understood this ad, right up until he said you could call you newly purchased Twitter account by any name you wanted. Does Twitter let you change the name of a pre-existing account?

    Subquestion: if you can change the name, wouldn’t a good portion of your 5,000 followers notice a strange name on their lists and be like “WTF? How’d this get there?” *delete*?

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 September 1
      sfaye permalink

      Yes, you can change your username any time you want.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2009 September 1
    Sherri permalink

    Eh, truth is, many a Twitter follower isn’t paying any attention anymore. What is it, some 50% abandon their accounts within a month? (aka forget their password/forget to check/forget they have it). So this guy is selling something that doesn’t really exist except on paper anyway.

    Isn’t that how the recession/banking crisis started?

    Adores: 11
  10. 2009 September 1
    Lola permalink

    Per the posting title, can one Twitter in Second Life?

    Adores: 10
  11. 2009 September 1
    dogface permalink

    What does one need with 5,000 followers on Twitter anyway? Is it like an even more shallow version of those people on Facebook who have hundreds of friends that they’ve never met?

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 September 2
      KatieMB permalink

      …. and the problem with that is? 😉

      Adores: 3
    • 2009 September 4

      The 5000 followers are for phishing obviously.
      The person who buys this will make a fake webpage (that probably looks like twitter sign in screen) to steal passwords. They will throw a bit.ly link to this fake page in a twitter post saying nude girls or make money on twitter. Half of people who read are likely to click and half of those are likely to put their passwords to their twitter accounts which will be hijacked and used for more spamming/phishing. Eventually they will get a high profile account like obama or lindsay lohan, or a bank manager. At that point they do the same scam but now since you trust the high profile account they put a link to a fake site of your bank or something to attempt to steal account username and passwords.

      Adores: 0
  12. 2009 September 1
    SteampunkGoogler permalink

    Care to follow me on Twitter at HappyBunnyFluffer?

    Adores: 8
    • 2009 September 1
      Lola permalink

      Am I correct in guessing you will be Tweeting with only one hand?
      The clean one?

      Adores: 9
      • 2009 September 1
        Count Blah permalink

        “What is the sound of one hand Tweeting?”

        I am SO Zen.

        Adores: 8
      • 2009 September 2
        My Evil Twin permalink

        OK, I admit that I am a [relatively] innocent person, and I could be completely mistaken here, but doesn’t ‘fluffing’ refer to passing gas? In which case, I don’t understand the one, clean hand comment.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 September 2
          drmk permalink

          It also refers to people whose job it is to keep porn stars, um … ready.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 September 4
          My Evil Twin permalink

          So they’re like porn coaches?
          “On your mark. Get set. F—”
          But then I suppose porn always was about the photo finish, ne.

          Anyway, thanks for the explanation (I think).

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 September 8
        SteampunkGoogler permalink

        Oh Lola… who said anything about using hands?

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 1
      drmk permalink

      The name is available!

      Adores: 0
  13. 2009 September 1
    ImmortalityLTD permalink

    I would love a pair (?) of steampunk goggles made from old tuna fish cans. Or cat food cans. I’m not picky.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2009 September 1

    The sad truth of it all is that someone might just buy this.
    We live in a scary world.
    And worst of all, i’ve been in the same general area of where he/she lives. Bleck.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 September 1
    ??? permalink

    I love 5000 happyfluffybunny followers dropping to 37 SteampunkTuna people. There must be at least a small crossover, right? Sure, 37.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2009 September 1
    SoundsLikeVla permalink

    I’ll fluff your bunny until it’s happy…

    Adores: 2
  17. 2009 September 1
    Mrphysic permalink

    YSaC COMMENT – 1 MILLION READERS*!!! – $500

    Reply to this comment and have your message read by around a million* people who regularly check the comments on YSaC. This is clearly a bargain as other idiots have often paid more money to reach less people in pointless examples too numerous to mention. I accept Paypal, credit card, human souls, sammiches and fluffy happy bunnies.

    (* – according to a recent alcohol fuelled estimate)

    Adores: 33
  18. 2009 September 1
    Katy permalink

    Sorry, drmk, but Twitter is probably going to last as long as Myspace (which I was told is out now, I never had one, so I don’t know), if not shorter before it goes the way of IMing and snail mail. Another cyber fad flys by…

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 February 20
      christina permalink

      Update from the fuuuuuture:
      Twitter, still going.
      Myspace, probably still the best place to score meth on the internet.
      Snail mail, still delivering online purchases in tastefully unmarked brown packaging.

      Adores: 15
      • 2011 February 20
        SilvaNoir permalink

        As someone who works at a major shipping company, I can tell you business is doing just fine. All those online purchases actually work in our favor.

        Adores: 0
      • 2015 March 21
        Tankerbell permalink

        Update from the even more future: Twitter and snail mail are still going strong. No clue about MySpace, but I hear it still exists, for what that’s worth. I think that’s about how popular MySpace has always been.

        “Yeah, MySpace? I’ve heard of that. No, no, I’m not on it, but I’ve heard of it. Isn’t that gone now? Oh, it still exists? OK.”

        Adores: 1
      • 2016 June 27
        Seamyst permalink

        Update from the still more future: Twitter and snail mail are going strong. MySpace is technically still around – some bands have their main pages there, bless their hearts. Snapchat is where the kids are these days.

        Adores: 0
  19. 2009 September 1
    wheatuskitty permalink

    I would join Twitter just for Tuna Steampunk Goggles updates.

    Adores: 4
  20. 2009 September 6
    HellHathNoFury permalink

    I actually had a happyfluffy bunny account on twitter, as a joke, for my rabbits named Machine Bun Kelly, jimmy Hoppa and Appa T Fluffybuns.
    They got over 14,000 followers, and I couldn’t keep up with the ‘just killed owner’ ‘need help burying owner in backyard, cannot hold shovel with no opposable thumbs’ ‘regrets killing owner, cannot open treat bag’ postings, so I had to delete it.
    http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m174/sweetallysmom/nooo005.jpg

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 February 20

      I like the redux posts. When we do redux posts, I can pretend HHNF is still here.

      Hi, HHNF. It’s good to see you again.

      **Astro waits patiently for a reply.**

      WHY WON’T SHE RESPOND!??
      🙁

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 February 20
        Windrose permalink

        I think she’s busy fluffing her bunny. Or something like that.

        Adores: 2
  21. 2009 September 19

    There are multiple sites where you can sell your Twitter account. I believe the big one right now is Assetize:
    http://www.assetize.com/accounts/viewall/type:Twitter

    Adores: 1
  22. 2011 February 20

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

    More apt than Sparky realizes.

    Adores: 2
  23. 2011 February 20

    Exsqueeze me, baking powder?

    I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers, I’ve got 5000 followers.

    Sparky’s world, Party time, excellent!

    Adores: 3
  24. 2011 February 20
    Windrose permalink

    I hope Bianchi Sound shows up today and tells this guy to go fluff himself.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 February 20
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Go f…

      Harrumpf.

      Adores: 7
  25. 2011 February 20

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KSzjQBpU6A&feature=related

    “Crash Course in Brain Surgery” for your Sunday morning.
    Some more Budgie for you Mrs. Windrose.

    Adores: 2
  26. 2011 February 20
    SilvaNoir permalink

    I may be full of typos and grammar errors so I usually don’t judge… but it annoys me so much when people confuse your and you’re.

    And who cares how many followers one has… most websites I’m on have watch lists and I never hear from those people again. They add me to their watch list and that’s it. It’s meaningless. I only value the ones who give me meaningful comments.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 20
      LimeLolly permalink

      *hands Silva a meaningful comment*

      Don’t spend that all in one place, now.

      Adores: 3
  27. 2011 February 20
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    You know, for 4 cents per follower (or followerer), it may be worth it to see how quickly you can get from 5,000 to 0 followers. I love social experiments. I’ll just have to come up with a series of tweets that would bore/offend/alienate all types of people. Any suggestions?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 February 20
      LimeLolly permalink

      I can do it in 7 tweets.

      *Don’t*
      *You*
      *Wish*
      *You*
      *Were*
      *Me *
      *?*

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 20
      sarajean80 permalink

      “On my way to abort the Pope’s lovechild, hope I’m not late for the Klan meeting LOL”

      That should do it.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 February 20
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Hmm, no, too many people on the internet with odd senses of humor for that to work. Boring them would be better…. like an entire blog on dryer lint or something.

        Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 20
      Windrose permalink

      Noni! Welcome back! Hint: Do not read Friday’s ad. Listen to it instead. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 February 20
        nonsensicalcat permalink

        Thanks! In… 9 weeks or so my life will be less crazy and maybe I’ll have more snark to spare again. For now, I promise I’m still stopping by.

        Adores: 1
    • 2011 February 20
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Use full sentences, big words, and say intelligent things, but end every tweet with “LOL.” Most people won’t understand the tweets, and those who do will be annoyed by the constant use of “LOL.”

      Adores: 5
  28. 2011 February 20
    LimeLolly permalink

    I’m in fishkill and I can take cash

    Don’t ask to shake my hand. :shudder:

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 20
      Windrose permalink

      Is Fishkill like Flatbush, in that it was a Dutch name that has gotten corrupted over the years? I hope so.

      Adores: 0
  29. 2011 February 20
    sarajean80 permalink

    Today’s Ad – (in big bright orange letters)

    Add 3,000 Twitter Followers Right Now
    Click Here and Go Get Yours

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 20
      Windrose permalink

      SJ, so glad I’m not the only one seeing that. 8)

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 February 20
      ToBScholarly permalink

      Not me. I got Nextag with pictures of dining room tables.

      I have been furniture shopping.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 February 20
        Windrose permalink

        Do you need to buy a red table for free? Or a almost stain-free sofa?

        Adores: 1
  30. 2011 February 21
    Windrose permalink

    Smedley, I don’t know if you even knew you were in the box today. So perhaps this is a SURPRISE Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Hudson Valley!

    Adores: 0
  31. 2011 February 21

    I didn’t until this morning. And I did print it out and put it on the fridge.

    Adores: 1
  32. 2011 May 28
    eeyore19 permalink

    Steampunk Tuna Goggles would be a cool name for a band.

    Adores: 0

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