YSaC, Vol. 1673: That’s not brass in pocket.

2014 March 5
by drmk

I put my hair in your pocket – w4m – 25


Saturday night at a bar on [street] I looked at you through a few groups of people. I think your shirt had PJ Harvey on it, but it was mostly covered by your brown coat. I thought about asking you to my car to share a cigarette, I thought it’d be intimate. Maybe we’d talk about what we did for a living or maybe I’d touch your hand. We didn’t speak to each other because I retreated a bit away from everyone to be more comfortable. You walked by me on your way to the men’s room and removed your coat. When you placed it on the hook, I pulled a nail file out of my bag and sawed a lock of hair off to put in your pocket. Hope you found it.

Oooh, so close there, Sparkette. It’s obvious that these star-crossed lovers are just not meant to be, because I’m sure that the guy noticed her but thought, “Hmmm, I’d really like to go to an enclosed space and share carcinogenic toxins with her, but it’s a shame that there’s a big chunk of her hair missing. Oh hey, what’s this in my pocket? Oh cool, my pet vole will love this as bedding.”

Thanks, Alison!

27 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 March 5
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I can’t believe he rejected me. If you need me I’ll be between my mattress and box spring clutching my avocado pears.

    Adores: 3
  2. 2014 March 5

    Voodoo love spells: You’re doing them wrong.

    Adores: 12
  3. 2014 March 5

    It’s creepy AND romantic… It’s creepmantic!

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 March 5
      nojazzhere permalink

      I think “The Creepmantics” would make a great Alice Cooper tribute band name….opening song…”Only Women Bleed- When I Stick My Nail File in Her Ear”

      Adores: 5
  4. 2014 March 5
    Yancy permalink

    Ah, tale as old as time.

    Two ships passing in the night.

    It counts as two ships passing in the night if one goes north of Hawaii and the other goes south, right?

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 March 5
      DigitalAxis permalink

      If one of them leaves Hawaii at 8 AM Aleutian time heading due North (WGS84), and the other leaves Oahu at 6 AM Moscow Standard time heading due South, how far from land can they bury the bodies and still return to shore?

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 March 5

        The answer is always 1. Unless it’s -1.

        I’m going to go with -1.

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 March 6
          nojazzhere permalink

          There you go again….always being negative…..why can’t you try being positive for a change?

          Adores: 2
  5. 2014 March 5

    …and if you didn’t find it, maybe you found the rabbit I left boiling on your stove…

    I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!

    Adores: 11
    • 2014 March 5
      MissMommyNiceNice permalink

      CJ, are you SWFing the llama nun? Step away from the butcher knife! Here, let’s do a little beveraging in the corner to calm down.

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 March 5
        Windrose permalink

        C”"J, how are you on roller skates? Just remember, when a llama backblocks you, you STAY backblocked!

        Adores: 5
    • 2014 March 5

      Sorry, I can’t hear you with “Madame Butterfly” playing FULL BLAST on my stereo.

      Adores: 7
    • 2014 March 5
      Dan permalink

      True story: I have a lovely rabbit stew recipe I make most Easters, just for the tasty, tasty irony. That and the bacon.

      Adores: 10
      • 2014 March 5
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Mmmmm… bacon. ….

        Adores: 1
      • 2014 March 5
        CapnMac permalink

        Rarebit rabbit bacon on toast . . .

        Adores: 2
      • 2014 March 5
        Ralph permalink

        Rabbit Stew is fine, but I don’t like hair in my stew. Or in my pocket.

        Adores: 2
  6. 2014 March 5
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Put your hair in my pocket,
    Violate my coat… baby,
    Track my moves all night,
    Show me that you stalk me too.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 March 5
      Windrose permalink

      I’ll bet her hair was 50 shades of grey.

      Adores: 3
  7. 2014 March 5

    Does anyone ever answer these types of ads? Think to themselves “Random stranger that I took no notice of at the time saw me in public and is creeping on me online? Dream date!

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 March 6
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Oh thank you! That’s just what I was looking for. Now I can finish my model of Chewbacca. Yay! I mean, How did you know? We must be meant for each other.

      Adores: 0
  8. 2014 March 5
    Ralph permalink

    Hair today, gonorrhea tomorrow.

    Adores: 9
  9. 2014 March 6
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I put my dreams and my hair in your pocket, hair in your pocket.
    And I’m insane. I hope you found the gift that I gave you.

    Maybe she’s part cat.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2014 March 6
    limelolly permalink

    You know, he just whips her hair back and forth.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 March 7
      One Moving Violation permalink

      *cuts off a lock of her hair*
      *gives hair a big long sniff*
      *screams* AAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAHHAAAAA!

      -The Creepy Thin Man

      Adores: 0
    • 2014 March 7
      P-Rex permalink

      LL, you don’t have any hair. Unless of course you’ve been hoarding somebody’s hair that you keep in some pirate type hope chest underneath the top tray where you keep the marbles that you found that your friends lost when they found out you were hoarding somebody’s hair.

      Adores: 1
  11. 2014 March 7
    Brer Fox permalink

    I like the title.

    That’s not bras in pocket.

    Adores: 0

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