YSaC, Vol. 1673: That’s not brass in pocket.

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I put my hair in your pocket – w4m – 25


Saturday night at a bar on [street] I looked at you through a few groups of people. I think your shirt had PJ Harvey on it, but it was mostly covered by your brown coat. I thought about asking you to my car to share a cigarette, I thought it’d be intimate. Maybe we’d talk about what we did for a living or maybe I’d touch your hand. We didn’t speak to each other because I retreated a bit away from everyone to be more comfortable. You walked by me on your way to the men’s room and removed your coat. When you placed it on the hook, I pulled a nail file out of my bag and sawed a lock of hair off to put in your pocket. Hope you found it.

Oooh, so close there, Sparkette. It’s obvious that these star-crossed lovers are just not meant to be, because I’m sure that the guy noticed her but thought, “Hmmm, I’d really like to go to an enclosed space and share carcinogenic toxins with her, but it’s a shame that there’s a big chunk of her hair missing. Oh hey, what’s this in my pocket? Oh cool, my pet vole will love this as bedding.”

Thanks, Alison!

Comments

27 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1673: That’s not brass in pocket.”

  1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    I can’t believe he rejected me. If you need me I’ll be between my mattress and box spring clutching my avocado pears.

  2. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar

    Voodoo love spells: You’re doing them wrong.

  3. TC Avatar
    TC

    It’s creepy AND romantic… It’s creepmantic!

    1. nojazzhere Avatar
      nojazzhere

      I think “The Creepmantics” would make a great Alice Cooper tribute band name….opening song…”Only Women Bleed- When I Stick My Nail File in Her Ear”

  4. Yancy Avatar
    Yancy

    Ah, tale as old as time.

    Two ships passing in the night.

    It counts as two ships passing in the night if one goes north of Hawaii and the other goes south, right?

    1. DigitalAxis Avatar
      DigitalAxis

      If one of them leaves Hawaii at 8 AM Aleutian time heading due North (WGS84), and the other leaves Oahu at 6 AM Moscow Standard time heading due South, how far from land can they bury the bodies and still return to shore?

      1. ratwoman Avatar

        The answer is always 1. Unless it’s -1.

        I’m going to go with -1.

        1. nojazzhere Avatar
          nojazzhere

          There you go again….always being negative…..why can’t you try being positive for a change?

  5. C"From Behind.....Suddenly"J Avatar

    …and if you didn’t find it, maybe you found the rabbit I left boiling on your stove…

    I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      CJ, are you SWFing the llama nun? Step away from the butcher knife! Here, let’s do a little beveraging in the corner to calm down.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        C””J, how are you on roller skates? Just remember, when a llama backblocks you, you STAY backblocked!

    2. C"From Behind....Suddenly"J Avatar

      Sorry, I can’t hear you with “Madame Butterfly” playing FULL BLAST on my stereo.

    3. Dan Avatar
      Dan

      True story: I have a lovely rabbit stew recipe I make most Easters, just for the tasty, tasty irony. That and the bacon.

      1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
        MissMommyNiceNice

        Mmmmm… bacon. ….

      2. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        Rarebit rabbit bacon on toast . . .

      3. Ralph Avatar
        Ralph

        Rabbit Stew is fine, but I don’t like hair in my stew. Or in my pocket.

  6. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
    Demon Duck of Doom

    Put your hair in my pocket,
    Violate my coat… baby,
    Track my moves all night,
    Show me that you stalk me too.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      I’ll bet her hair was 50 shades of grey.

  7. SilvaNoir Avatar

    Does anyone ever answer these types of ads? Think to themselves “Random stranger that I took no notice of at the time saw me in public and is creeping on me online? Dream date!“

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Oh thank you! That’s just what I was looking for. Now I can finish my model of Chewbacca. Yay! I mean, How did you know? We must be meant for each other.

  8. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Hair today, gonorrhea tomorrow.

  9. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    I put my dreams and my hair in your pocket, hair in your pocket.
    And I’m insane. I hope you found the gift that I gave you.

    Maybe she’s part cat.

    1. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar

      I had some dreams this would be today’s earworm, be today’s earworm.

  10. limelolly Avatar
    limelolly

    You know, he just whips her hair back and forth.

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      *cuts off a lock of her hair*
      *gives hair a big long sniff*
      *screams* AAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAHHAAAAA!

      -The Creepy Thin Man

    2. P-Rex Avatar
      P-Rex

      LL, you don’t have any hair. Unless of course you’ve been hoarding somebody’s hair that you keep in some pirate type hope chest underneath the top tray where you keep the marbles that you found that your friends lost when they found out you were hoarding somebody’s hair.

  11. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    I like the title.

    That’s not bras in pocket.

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