YSaC, Vol. 1787: Much invested! So Truck! Wow!

2014 November 26

@@!!!! 99. LIFTED. TAHOE. MUCH INVESTED. NEEDS. REAR END WORK $3450 - $3450


SELLING. A TAHOE. THATS. HAS. A CUSTOM LIFT. WITH. SUPER NICE. RIMS. & TIRES. ALSO. HAS. SPRINGS. SHOCKS. UP GRADED. STEREO. POWER AMP. CD. CHAGER. CUSTOM. PUSH. BAR. KC. POWER. LIGHTS. SOME. EXTRAS. PLEASE. READ. I. HAVE. INVESTED. 8 K IN. IN. NEEDS. A. REBUILD. REAR. END. BAD. GEARS. IN IT NOW. HAS. LO MILES. 350/V8. VORTEC. ENG. LOOK AT PIC. SELLING. $3450. IN. RENO. PLEASE. NO. TRADES. NO. TEX. I WILL NOT. RESPOND. TO. TEX. HAVE. NO. ROOM. TO. STOR. THIS. TAHOE. GOT. A. SMALLER. TRUCK. JUST. CALLS. THANKS. IN. [LOCATION].





"Howdy, Tex - how's your truck search going?"
"Well pardner - not so good. I found a truck I like, but the owner won't respond to me."
"Who's the owner?"
"I think it's William Shatner."
"Jerk."

Thanks for the post, Mike!

23 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 November 26
    CapnMac permalink

    SPARKY. NEEDS. TOP. END. WORK. COMMAS. BROKEN. VOLUME. SET. TO. DISASTER AREA. LEVEL.

    Adores: 6
  2. 2014 November 26
    CapnMac permalink

    I ought be fair and allow that Spark' has spent too much time around loud impact wrenches, but, my back hurts, and I'm about to head into the meleé which is my commute. So, charity is not overflowing from me just now.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2014 November 26

    "Captain."

    "Yes, Uhura?"

    "We're receiving a transmission from the planet's surface. It's about your truck, sir. Someone named Tex wants to beam aboard and see it."

    "I've already told you: I will not. Respond. To. Tex."

    "Tex is sending an image, sir. It's identified as a selfie."

    "Oh, all right. Put it on the screen."

    (An image of a green dancing girl appears on the screen.)

    "Oh, well, that's different. Contact security and have some red-shirts give Tex a hearty Federation welcome."

    Adores: 7
  4. 2014 November 26
    Ralph permalink

    I. SEE. BY. YOUR. OUTFIT....

    Adores: 3
  5. 2014 November 26

    Which of these statements is the most true?

    A. Sparky loves the wheels on this truck, and doesn't want to let them go.

    B. Sparky was emotionally scarred as a child while listening to a Tex Ritter song.

    C. Sparky goes to Science Fiction conventions dressed as Captain Kirk.

    D. Sparky slipped in a photo of the front end of a white truck, and hopes you won't notice.

    E. All of the above.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2014 November 26
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Someone needs to tell Sparky that internet postings don't need to be written telegraph style.

    Adores: 2
  7. 2014 November 26
    !!! permalink

    Sounds like Sparky is on their period...

    Adores: 1
  8. 2014 November 26
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Something about this is making me picture Shatner, standing on a table with a megaphone, reciting this to a hip-hop bluegrass dance mix backing track.

    Oh, dear. Now I've given him ideas.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2014 November 26
    TEX permalink

    PLEASE. RESPOND.
    I SO. CONFUSED. IS THE. TAHOE. IN. RENO. OR RENO. NO. STOR. THIS. TAHOE.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 November 26
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      IT'S. ALL. IN. SPARKS.

      Adores: 4
  10. 2014 November 26
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    No, Tex. Sparky will not accept $3449 or $3451. What part of $3450 - $3450 don't you understand?

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 November 26
      One Moving Violation permalink

      $3450 - $3450 = $0000

      Adores: 7
  11. 2014 November 26
    One Moving Violation permalink

    It doesn't look like any of those periods are being used as decimal points. So, 81 periods must mean 81 sentences. There are 88 actual words and 13 misspelled words, single letters, numbers, and acronyms. That is less than 1.25 words per sentence.

    Maybe Sparky would get less ridicule if he left the periods alone and just had 1 big run-on sentence fragment.

    END.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 November 26
      nojazzhere permalink

      I'm. Not. Texing.

      Adores: 2
    • 2014 November 26

      One, I begin to think you have too much time on your hands.

      Adores: 3
  12. 2014 November 26
    Ninja Chow permalink

    [corey] William Shatner is just one more gift of funny that we in the frozen north have bestowed upon the USA, so you're welcome, or sorry about that, you choose. [corey]

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 November 26
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Shatner, we like.
      The Bieber kid... we need to talk, NC.

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 November 26
        Ninja Chow permalink

        Nope, uh uh, no way, that one was on clearance, as is, no returns IF, sorry. We are willing to accept the Ryans (Gosling and Reynolds) back though. You can keep Celine Dion and Pamela Anderson too.

        Adores: 6
  13. 2014 November 26

    SPARKY.HAS.GIVEN.ME.A.HEADACHE.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2014 November 27
    James permalink

    Am. I the. only one wondering. why most of the. fragments have one word at. a time while some have two. or three? I think it's a code.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 November 27
      One Moving Violation permalink

      I had a code wudz. I theeg id was a head code. By dose kebt odd ruddig. I wed through a hole boggs of kleedeggs.

      Happy Thanksgiving ya'all!

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 November 28

        It's totally different when a man says this than when a woman says this:

        I went through a whole box of tissue during that movie.

        Adores: 0
  15. 2014 November 28
    TrumpCat permalink

    It makes a nice rap if you're into that sort of thing. Really, just bob your head at every period and soon you've got a heck of a rhythm going.

    Adores: 2

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