YSaC, Vol. 260: Note to self — don’t search for “sexy secretary” with safe search off.
Sexy Personal Assistant
I’m looking to hire a personal assistant to help out around my home office. I’m a good looking 28 year old man who runs a small company and I need to hire someone to take care of answering the phones, responding to clients and taking notes while I’m in meetings and just everyday helping out and tidying up around the office. I would like to hire a sexy little 18-25 year old girl. This is a strictly working relationship and not require you to do anything physical with me. I only require that whoever I hire comes to work in cute and sexy outfits to parade the office all day and giving me something to stare at. You would have the opportunity however to make extra money every now and then giving me a lap dance if you were open to that. Serious inquiries only. Looking to fill the position by the end of the week.
I think someone’s been watching Secretary a few times too many. Would I have to wear the saddle and hold the carrot in my mouth?
Kim submitted this one, saying, “I kind of want to take the job just so I can sue him for his business later on. I’m sure I could run it better than this ungrammatical horndog, whatever it is.”
This really is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I like how it progresses from “strictly working relationship” to “you can give me a lap dance”. Nope, I’m sure there’s no ulterior motives here.
Maybe he’ll get lucky and get Mrs. Wiggins!
I’m sure he’s good looking like he says, too.
Dude has spent WAY too much time fantasizing about how to run his ‘office’ than is healthy, lol.
…Michael Scott?
Nothing sketchy here! And I’m sure he’s as cute as James Spader. . .
This is pretty much the textbook example of how NOT to post a job ad.
You can’t make age a requirement like that. And the rest is textbook workplace harassment.
LMAO! I love the way that was almost going to come off as half-way OK (I have to assume that this is as professional as it gets at the offices of American Apparel, for example) but then he throws in the lap dance. I’m just like, “Wow.” Heh, that is awesome-grade Fail right there.
The guy is a scam. There is no job, although he does have an office. All he does is bring in several girls a week to see how sexy they are, then tells them the job is filled. Wait a week, and the ad is back up, same guy every time. My roommate went to interview with him….twice! haha
Does this guy not have internet access? Why not hire a really competent personal assistant, let him or her dress professionally, and then load up some kinky porn (or simple cheesecake) on the ol’ computertron when the mind wanders?
Well, maybe it’s a scam, as Xerxes suggests.
No Internet access, plus a P.A. who is there strictly as eye candy? I know I’m going to give such a well run outfit my business.
I’m too sexy for this job, too sexy for this job.
You know I’m right, so shut your gob.
I’m a P.A., you know what I mean,
And I stamp this fax “Received” on the catwalk,
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah,
I stamp this fax “Received” on the catwalk.
I wonder if he’s like a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooooong jacket?
Wow, the snark lounge is so quiet and dark and un-snarky. Good thing Archie is in the box, I can go talk to her. Archie, the tea pots are in boxes. That’s about as much progress as I have made. 8/
Must take dicktation!
HOLD UP Y’ALL IT’S A HOME OFFICE
Creeper level just increased exponentially.
Nothing to see here, just cleaning and tidying up the, er, ah, office; yeah, Office! that’s it–Cleaning the Office, that’s what I’m doing! Move along now . . .
An 18 to 25 year old woman is a “little girl” to this jackwagon. I just threw up in my mouth a little. And loaded my belt-fed automatic weapon.
And it goes without saying, you get an extra $10 an hour if you’re really sleezy.
*looks around* The box is kinda quiet today. Everyone must be sleeping off green hangovers. Hi Windy!
It’s hard to be snarky in the face of such unbridled grossness. Sparky posts an ad with the best of intentions, selling not-a-lion or similar, the comedy writes itself. Creeper looking for a very young woman to clean up after him and give occasional lap dances for money, it’s not so much funny as it is really, really disturbing.
Ms. Archie, here’s your complimentary Punchity Punch Punch! My, you look lovely today!
Good Morning, Pedobear!