YSaC, Vol 471: BRAAAIIINSSS!

2009 October 31

Zombies are big business these days. Zombie video games, zombie survival guides, zombie movies, even zombie Georgian Era British novels.

What with all the dead people rising from the grave and such, it was only a matter of time before some enterprising businessman decided to cash in:

USED CASKETS FOR SALE – $100


Slightly used Caskets for sale starting at $100.00 for our simple pine
up to $900 for very exquisit many to choose from, all have been
cleaned and disinfected some have minor scratches, but all are in
great shape. we offer free delivery in the local area, I need at least
a days notice as I have to borrow my neighbors truck. Some were only
used for as little as 6 months most were only in service for a year or
two.
470

This is clearly someone who has found a new business model for a new century. Possibly after having their brains eaten.

(Oh, and as a side note, selling used caskets is, in fact, very, very illegal. Despite the fact that you could have bought The Big Bopper’s casket on eBay. I am not making this up.)

Thanks for the submission, Laura!

98 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 October 31
    Jase122 permalink

    Maybe they were used by readers of Twilight or Anne Rice…He doesn’t specify WHO used them.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 October 31
      Cookieput permalink

      I dunno if I buy that explanation. Then why the emphasis on the cleaning and disinfecting of the coffins? Unless Twilight kids have a reputation as harbingers of sickness. Is that where H1N1 originated?

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 October 31
        Jon permalink

        Twilight makes me sick, does that count?

        Adores: 34
  2. 2009 October 31
    Windrose permalink

    He doesn’t tell us what these were used for! Display models, I’m hoping. Like new!

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 October 31
      Mimi permalink

      I’m hoping the same exact thing. This is just a “scratch and dent” sale of the display models. But even while my rational mind is hoping this, my imagination keeps seeing a very different scenario:

      Midnight.
      A mist filled graveyard.
      Two creepy guys (one looks a lot like Igor) are digging up a casket.
      Find a decent looking oak one.
      Dump the current occupent on the ground.
      Spray the inside with a little bit of Lysol.
      Exclaim, “Wow, we should be able to get a hundred bucks for this one!”

      Adores: 12
      • 2009 November 1
        Igor the Vigorous permalink

        Mine goes a bit more like “They both are Igors. They are mumbling about pleathing the marthter and doing their jobth well.”

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 2
          Jinx permalink

          And perhaps hoping to find grandmother’th legth…. They were thtolen in the great raid of thixthty theven…

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 October 31
      jackie31337 permalink

      Yeah, I’m hoping it’s either display models, or else this whole ad is a joke for Halloween.

      On the other hand, if you’re just going to put a dead body in it and put it in the ground, what difference does it really make whether the coffin has been disinfected? It’s not like the deceased can get sick. Apart from the potential digging-up-and-reselling aspect, I don’t really understand why selling used coffins should be illegal.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 October 31
        Windrose permalink

        I sure wouldn’t want my auntie to catch her death once we put her in this coffin.

        Adores: 7
        • 2009 October 31
          Lola permalink

          Is that the auntie who died on that couch? You know, the one that was a good deal?

          Adores: 4
      • 2009 October 31
        dan permalink

        Unfortunately, although the fact that it posted HERE on Halloween was deliberate, it was on Craigslist in July.

        Adores: 3
      • 2009 November 3
        Gridlock permalink

        The might of the Coffin Industry Lobbyists?

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 December 27
        MWP permalink

        While reselling coffins/caskets for actual remains and burials may be illegal, it isn’t illegal to sell or to buy a “used” coffins/caskets for other purposes…as in props, display, decor etc….

        I think the illegality of the “reselling” of these, are not because of health reasons, but because of unscrupulous funeral homes that may try to pass off “showing” caskets (in which the deceased who are to be cremated, or buried in a cheaper casket are merely displayed during the service) to unsuspecting new clients.

        Adores: 0
  3. 2009 October 31
    Dave permalink

    Hey, what we have here is a vampire who’s a slave to fashion. Living people change cars, dead ones change coffins.

    And can you blame them with all the new features their putting in coffins today? Like… uh… satin pillows?

    Adores: 9
  4. 2009 October 31
    Keelhaulrose permalink

    The economy is tough. The repo man isn’t even respecting the fact that people are dead anymore…

    Adores: 10
  5. 2009 October 31
    lost_compass permalink

    This reminds me… I’ve got a couple of urns just cluttering up the mantel… they’d make exquisit vases, or maybe trophies for your kids’ soccer league (just turn the side that’s engraved “Grandma” toward the wall).
    I’ll need a day’s notice – I’ll need to borrow my neighbor’s garden hose to rinse ’em out a bit.

    Adores: 43
  6. 2009 October 31
    emoore permalink

    I wonder if the scratches are on the outside?

    Adores: 63
    • 2009 October 31
      Meredith permalink

      That was my first thought. “Which side are the scratches on???”

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 October 31
        Lola permalink

        One of my jobs in the past dealt with old newspapers, some fairly far back into the 1800s. Owing to the fact that technology wasn’t always available to confirm vital signs some people were in fact buried alive, as was confirmed on occasions (I can’t remember details as to why they did this) when they were disinterred. The one that particularly sticks in my memory is one woman who was found to have turned to lie on her side, hands under her cheek. Might as well be comfortable while you wait for the oxygen to run out! πŸ™

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 1
          Count Blah permalink

          I heard that they used to equip coffins with a pull-cord that allowed the person inside to ring a bell and alert people that they weren’t actually dead, and that this is where the phrase “dead ringer” came from. Although that doesn’t make sense, given that “dead ringer” means that someone looks very much like someone else and doesn’t have anything to do with actual dead people. Plus if the bell is ringing it means the person’s NOT dead.

          The source of the info was some stupid chain email so it’s probably all made up.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 2
          screamer permalink

          I think that went back well before the 19th century to medieval times and it’s where the phrase “saved by the bell” came from (not “dead ringer” Count Blah.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 3
          Gridlock permalink

          Now that’s cool – “I’m screwed, so the least terrifying way for this to go is if I just pretend that I’m going to sleep…”

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 October 31

        I know I’ve been hanging around my husband* too long. My first thought was, “Are the scratches on the inside?”

        *Hubby’s a big zombie buff.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 6
          andrea permalink

          That was my first thought when I read about the scratches, and I’m quite normal, last I looked.

          Adores: 0
  7. 2009 October 31
    MissBeckett permalink

    I’m glad they’re disinfected and clean! I’d hate to put my dead uncle in a casket that’s full of viruses and bacteria. Wouldn’t want him to get sick.

    Adores: 7
  8. 2009 October 31
    Sherri permalink

    After I uncurled myself from a fetal position within my security blankie and purged a bit by making my husband read this entry, my single response is still GAH!

    I tried the “scratch-n-dent sale” idea, but it was dispelled by the idea of disinfecting and cleaning (dusting and polishing are fine, but WHY does a display model need DISINFECTING? It’s not like people climb in to TRY IT OUT!) I went back for a discussion with Blankie (because Blankie is Zombie Proof). We could not figure out a comforting reason for disinfecting. They all involved being USED.

    USED BY WHAT? WHY AREN’T THEY STILL IN USE? I believe caskets are like Kleenex or Band-Aids — one use by one person PER ITEM. NO one seriously buys used Band-Aids, do they? (NO, don’t TELL me. DO NOT TELL ME.)

    GAH!

    I’m so wishing right now I had NOT read World War Z and the Zombie Survival Guide. I’m getting my machete and crowbar out, and I am mining the stairs.

    GAH!

    Adores: 18
    • 2009 October 31
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      I call dibs on the new recruit!
      She’s already read my Old and New testament!
      πŸ˜›

      Adores: 1
  9. 2009 October 31
    pug permalink

    me: “so these are only slightly used right?”
    him: “yup was only used for 2 years”
    me: “great that dosn’t seem that long”

    me: “you have disinfected an cleaned it out?”
    him: “yes it all clean and ready to go”
    me: “sounds great ill take one”

    me: “wait a minute is that a scratch??? is that a dent? forget it deals off ”

    Adores: 10
  10. 2009 October 31
    Lola permalink

    My thought was that they were used for “viewing” for people who were later cremated. You’re not supposed to do that – the casket is also cremated, from what I understand (why? I don’t want my relatives’ ashes and a casket). These people were probably charging for the casket and then not putting it in or something.
    Though, my hope is that they were just display models. Yeah. That’s where my brain wants to go and that’s where I’m going to let it stay, because everywhere else is too much.

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 October 31
      Sherri permalink

      Lola, my understanding is that, with cremation, the “cremains” (Yes, that’s an official term) are just the tiny bone fragments and ash, just enough to fill a small box. I think they use a specific sort of casket for this, although I’m not sure and I do NOT want to look it up. You get a mix of Loved One and Casket.

      A friend of mine used to work for a funeral home and he had a collection of the small plastic boxes used for this (one use only, then tossed. He collected them, washed them, and used them again. I know, I know.)

      I don’t think it would be worth burning up some of the caskets they sell these days — those things are worth THOUSANDS. They are trimmed in brass or bronze or steel, or are completely covered in metal (my mother’s was, and its Hermetic Seal was a SELLING POINT) and they feature all manner of nifty special things like little drawers in the lids for storing mementos to be buried with the Dearly Departed.

      GAH!

      I haven’t been this ooked since I read Mittford’s “Beyond the Formaldehyde Curtain” in my freshman year.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 October 31
        Igor the Vigorous permalink

        “Cremains”
        Really? BWAHAHAH.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 October 31

          Sure, it’s funny until it’s someone you cared about.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 October 31
          Lola permalink

          Yep, cremains is the word. And I hate it. It’s euphemism. They’re ashes.

          @Sherri – I read Mitford’s The American Way of Death Revisited a few years ago and gave my parents a copy. After that I knew that I wanted nothing to do with embalming, caskets, the lot. And now, neither do they – and they were formerly pretty traditional. Give me some ashes that are just human ashes and let me do with it what I will. I find the whole business of hermetic seals, making them look the same dead as live (they’re DEAD!), etc. very weird. If it gives someone else comfort, that’s fine. I just resent the industry attempting to bully people into spending money needlessly. It’s gone corporate like everything else.

          Adores: 11
        • 2009 November 1
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          Oh, if they’re my loved ones they probably won’t mind that I find the word cremains hilarious.
          Otherwise, why would I have loved them in the first place?

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 2
          dissimilitude permalink

          “Sure, it’s funny until it’s someone you cared about.”

          Isaac, I can vouch for it still being funny, at least under some circumstances. When my dad died, I volunteered to go to the funeral home and pick up the ashes so my mom wouldn’t have to do it. My cousin was in town for the funeral and went with me. I went to the desk and told the woman working there that I’d come to pick up my father’s ashes. She gave me the most venomous look over the top of her glasses and corrected me: “We DON’T call them ashes. We CALL them CREMAINS!” We were both a little stunned by her total lack of sensitivity, but after we got to the car my cousin repeated what she’d said with the same stern look and we both got the worst case of the giggles you can imagine. Just the idea of snapping at somebody who’s just lost a parent because they aren’t up on all the latest funeral home jargon….I guess we had to either laugh about it or call her boss and complain!

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 November 2

          May I recommend to you a couple of poems called “Ashes” that appear in Andrew Hudgins’s book Babylon in a Jar? They are funny on almost this same subject.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 3
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          I’d just yell back, “Well I always called him an asshole, and I knew him longer! So SCREW YOU!”

          Adores: 4
      • 2009 October 31
        My Evil Twin permalink

        I want the model with the little TV in it. Don’t want to get bored while I’m “away”.
        Oh, and it has got to be 4-pallbearer drive, too.

        (wonders how many people are now searching for a model with a TV)

        side note: yeah! editting is back!

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 October 31
          Windrose permalink

          My mother’s pet dog predeceased her by 6 months. She had him cremated, and when she was cremated, the funeral home kindly agreed to put the dog’s ashes in with hers, and not tell the cemetery, who would have frowned on that sort of thing. I believe she had the dog’s ashes in a tin. I got to have custody of those ashes when she went into the nursing home and we cleaned out her apartment.

          The above story has absolutely nothing to do with coffins or caskets, is not particularly funny, and should probably be somewhere other than this.

          Happy Halloween!

          Adores: 7
      • 2009 October 31
        Josette Grover permalink

        Sherri,

        My father was cremated six years ago. We didn’t have a wood casket I believe it was a pressed paper/cardboard box they used for the cremating.

        You do get a casket type thingie for the ashes, it’s about the size of a shoebox. The guy from the funeral home had it so I only got a look at it when he dug a small hole and buried it next to my grandfather’s coffin.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 October 31
          Sherri permalink

          I wondered if they used some kind of cardboard. Thanks, Josette.

          The plastic boxes my friend got were leftovers from people who bought fancy urns or scattered the ashes and didn’t know what to do with the box (this was a good twenty years ago). He was a gun hobbyist and used them to store ammo.

          Another story about this guy — he rode motorcycle escort for funerals. He was also big on the SF/Fantasy stuff and did costuming for cons. Among his costume bits were a paid of dental quality fangs. He would sometimes wear them when he rode — he liked to ride up next to cars that wouldn’t pull over for the funeral procession and smile.

          Adores: 7
        • 2009 October 31
          Lola permalink

          I had a pet cremated several years ago and they put the ashes in a rather nice-looking tin. Considering that you’ll pay more for a person than a pet, I would hope that you’d not get a plastic box for them.

          Sherri – I love the fang anecdote!

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 1
        Elle permalink

        Okay, as long as we’re on the cremation subject, I have to share. My father was cremated when he died having expressed a sort of vague interest in being scattered on the ocean or something. Well, we lived in Missouri at the time and my mom didn’t drive so the ocean was a bit far away so Dad came home in a plastic bag lined cardboard box and there he stayed as we moved from home to home until six years later when our house burned down. The cardboard was, of course, no protection at all from the fire so he was cremated a second time. I’m sure this isn’t the first or last time something similar has happened but it’s the only time I’ve ever heard of.
        For myself, I’m too claustrophobic to contemplate burial, not thrilled with the idea of being burned (so both normal cremation and the cool cremation where they extract your carbon and turn you into diamonds are out), afraid of water (so no being turned into part of an artificial reef) and too scared of being left alone to want to just be abandoned in the woods and left to return to the earth. Fortunately, I’ll be dead before it matters, so I’m sure saner minds will do with me what they wish. Oh, and I do know that I’ve probably spent too much time considering the options.

        Adores: 3
    • 2009 October 31
      Sherri permalink

      @Lola — absolutely! I was a teen when my mom died, and my stepdad went whole hog on her funeral. I remember my aunts dragging me to the casket and trying to make me kiss her — UGH! I was with her when she freaking had the stroke! Thanks, family, for an extra helping of trauma.

      When my dad died, I was the one in charge and he’d made his wishes known. He wanted to be buried, which I respected, and he wanted the cheapest, plainest casket available. He actually specified “pine box”, but you can’t GET those. Plus, we had to ship his body from Florida to Wyoming. Still, we went as simple as the funeral industry would allow. Then we had a tree planted in his name.

      Me? Cremation and sprinkled on a rose garden somewhere. I like the idea of being fertilizer for roses, or maybe gardenias.

      Elaborate funeral rituals date back to…oh, geez, apparently pre-history. Still, I think we are getting too close to the Pharoahs. I want to go back to beads and flowers with the body in a nice, quiet hole somewhere.

      Adores: 4
      • 2009 October 31
        Lola permalink

        Sherri – “elaborate funeral rituals” is an understatement for the Egyptians! I’ve done plenty of reading on ancient Egypt in general, and their focus on interment has been called by some “The Cult of Death.” That’s pretty definite.
        As for your having to kiss your aunt – yikes!!! I have only seen two open casket funerals and would have preferred not to. It isn’t an issue with dead bodies, they don’t worry me. I just have no need to see them as part of the mourning process.
        My take is that the soul, spirit, amina, whatever you want to call it that made that person themselves is gone and what is left is no longer them. I want to be respectful because it is what is corporeally left of that person, and they are a human being, but it isn’t what made them themselves. If I don’t get ashed, I think that one of those eco-burial places is appealling. Something that decomposes easily around you and then becoming one with the earth – dust to dust.
        — That means no used caskets!!!!!!!!!

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 October 31
        JcT permalink

        I guess it is my turn to mention death.

        Pancreatic cancer got my mother in January 2006. She was way too young and it really wasn’t fair. While dying, she talked to all her kids about The End. She didn’t want any confusion or arguing. So went she went, there was no money wasted on caskets or holes in the ground or mausoleums or any of that bull. She went straight to the crematoriam, and once we got the ashes back, we had a very small service. 18 months later my little sister and I took the ashes to Bastrop State Park and gave them back to nature. My mom was a serious nature lover and this is how she wanted it.

        That is how I want my “The End” to be. A hole in the ground for 30 grand seems so idiotic.

        Except I told my kids they can just chuck my ash out with Tuffy’s kitty litter, for all I care. They don’t have to do the whole “back to nature” crap. πŸ˜‰

        Adores: 4
      • 2009 November 1
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Jewish funeral homes have plain (pine?) caskets, b/c that’s what we do. No viewing, no fancy stuff, just a body wrapped in a shroud, in a box, in the ground.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 2
          Jinx permalink

          That’s nice. I like a lot of the Jewish ceremonies, they do things really well!

          This might be a step up from my plans: I’m dead, the body is nothing. Toss it to the curb…. Ain’t no one gonna remember me in 100 years…

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 2
        Stephanie permalink

        @Sherri: I think you can actually get a pine coffin, or something similar, like a shroud…. but you have to go through an eco-friendly funeral home. I think this is a fairly recent trend, though.

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 5
        marn permalink

        I have a friend whose family is from eastern Pennsylvania…and apparently, they’re all a bunch of corpse-kissers. “Kiss Grandpa goodbye!” *shudder*

        I read Mitford’s “The Embalming of Mr. Jones” in my college freshman English class. I think that the entire notion of embalming and burial is a desecration of the corpse, and completely unnatural.

        We joke about giving my husband a Viking funeral on Lake Superior when his time comes in honor of his Danish ancestry. (BTW, has anyone seen “Rocket Gibraltar” with Burt Lancaster? WONDERFUL movie.)

        All of our cats have been cremated and will be intered with us, as was my grandmother’s cat.

        Adores: 1
      • 2015 April 4
        Tankerbell permalink

        I’ve been telling my family for years not to spend a bunch of money on death stuff when I die. Just have me cremated, and don’t let them sell you some fancy urn – just take me “to go” in a Dixie cup or something and scatter me on the coast near a lighthouse.

        But, I do think it would be good if they had a little celebration of my life and tell stories about me. Maybe one could even be a nice story. But the point is, at this celebration, I want twinkle lights. Yes, it’s horribly inappropirate, but damn it, I like me some twinkle lights and that’s what I want.

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 2
      screamer permalink

      When my Dad died we had the choice of buying a casket, which would be cremated with him, or renting one for the visitation, after which he was removed to a plain ‘box’ for the cremation. Renting was significantly less expensive for my Mum than buying would have been. Not only that, but Dad had stipulated, since he loved to work with wood, that he did not want good wood thrown in the fire with him.

      And yes, this is for real.

      Adores: 2
      • 2015 April 4
        Tankerbell permalink

        That’s what my Dad had, too. The whole inside of the casket is put in the cardboard box and cremated, so it’s a new lining for each person.
        I actually am one of those people who finds peace from actually seeing the deceased. I fully get that not everyone feels that way. It’s a lot to do, the embalming and making the body look “natural”, but if you want a visitation before the body is buried or cremated, it’s a must. Like Lola, I’m not bothered by dead bodies, and for some reason, seeing the person is important to me (at least when it is someone I have been very close to). My Dad wanted the viewing to be very private, so it was before the public visitation, and the church put velvet ropes around because he was a big church dude and we didn’t want randoms coming up to see him. He didn’t want that.
        Having said that, I made the mistake of kissing my Dad on the forehead when he was in the casket. No one made me, it was spontaneous because I loved him dearly. I will never get that feeling out of my mind – ugh. SOOOOOO wish I hadn’t done that.
        And, finally, some of these stories are HILARIOUS. We have never laughed so much as we did during the time around my Dad’s death. I believe it’s the same outlet as crying, which is why you get the hysterical laughing fits. My sister cracked me up during the funeral and I was laughing so hard I had to pretend I was having a “moment”, so no one would see I was laughing.

        Adores: 1
  11. 2009 October 31
    Igor the Vigorous permalink

    I saw the title of the CL ad, and knew it would be good…
    For now, all my brain will accept is that it’s someone who bought a coffin and slept in it (strange, I know) and is now trying to resell it…
    Still, I wouldn’t resell my bed.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2009 October 31

    You know I’m pretty cheap, but I still wouldn’t buy a used coffin.

    Adores: 5
  13. 2009 October 31

    “Creepy” and “Ew” are the only things that come to mind when I read this. I’m with Sherri on this one, burn me. ESPECIALLY if I die by zombies.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2009 October 31
    Sarah permalink

    I’m too stuck on the idea that the “minor scratches” are on the *inside*. Too much Halloween candy and old stories about people being buried alive for this girl.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 October 31
    Sherri permalink

    I Just Remembered Something.

    I’ve been in a coffin/casket. Two, actually. Kinda.

    Years and years ago, when Reagan was still president, I worked every year at a Haunted House run by the local JayCee’s. One year, the first room in the house had two “pop-up coffins” — actual caskets modified for use. One stood on its end and had the back cut out, and the other laid on a table (the opening room was set like a creepy funeral home). Of course, the schtick was to open the lid and sit up/open the door and jump out.

    I took turns with another girl between the two coffins. The lay down one was creepiest because, duh, the lid had to be closed, but the upright was tippy and occasionally fell over if you weren’t careful.

    So, yeah, I’ve spent time in a casket. I was 15 at the time. You outgrow that sort of thing.

    Adores: 3
  16. 2009 October 31
    Josette Grover permalink

    Why do I see somebody buying one? ‘But honey, it’s only a hundred dollars. Do you know what they want for these new? Sure it’s got a few scratches and the purty white lining ain’t so white no more, and there’s a tiny bit of a smell. . .but it was only a hundred dollars. And I can buff it out real smooth.’

    Wife storming off ‘I wouldn’t be caught dead in that.’ as husband puts it in the shed outside until it’s needed.

    Yes, I am a sick twisted puppy

    Adores: 3
  17. 2009 October 31
    Adrienne permalink

    Funeral homes do let people rent the fancy caskets to display a body that will be cremated. In most states at least they’re allowed to do that. I’m not sure whether they’re supposed to sell the “gently-used” caskets off at a discount for use in burials. I’m sure, at least, that the casket suppliers would not be happy about it πŸ™‚

    Adores: 0
  18. 2009 October 31
    DervishHeart permalink

    TV can be so educational! As soon as I saw this listing I thought: “How is this possible? On ‘Six Feet Under’ they showed how reselling a casket is illegal!”

    I’m puzzled though – how exactly can a casket be ‘slightly used’? There was either a dead body in it or there wasn’t.
    Maybe the original buyer tried out a few models before choosing?
    “I like this heavy oak one but the elbow space is a little uncomfortable. Could I try the honey colored pine again?”

    Adores: 4
  19. 2009 November 1

    I’m in my first semester of mortuary school and according to my funeral home directing course you can sell caskets* used for viewings when the deceased would be cremated.
    *Yes, there’s a difference between a casket and a coffin.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 1

      What’s the difference, Moxie? We’re all ears. (And we’re almost all persnickety language snobs, so we’re bound to consider that sort of differentiation Good To Know.)

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 1

        A casket is basically what’s pictured in the ad. It comes from the Norman word cassette and originally meant a lined box specifically to hold jewels and precious items, so it has certain connotations about the value of its contents.
        A coffin is the kind of box that’s kind of diamond-y shaped with the one hinged lid instead of the split lid for viewing. They tend to be used less nowadays but some religious sects preffer them, like Orthodox Judaism (Their coffins can’t contain any metal or animal glues) and some Amish orders.
        Now you know–and knowledge is power!

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 1
          Lola permalink

          Moxie,
          Thanks! That makes sense, now that you spell it out. I’d heard the word “casket” used in a context that referred to jewelry (small casket, probably) or other items (anyone familiar with Mary, Queen of Scots’ story knows about the probably-faked “Casket Letters,” which have nothing to do with a box containing a dead body). But coffins – the distinctive shape indicates that they’re used for one purpose, and one purpose only. Got it!

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 1

          @ Lola: You’re welcome. I knew this weird knowledge would help somewhere, someway.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 5
          marn permalink

          A family friend (Episcopalian) made his own casket…it was casket-shaped and inlaid with his Scottish clan crest. Very unusual and beautiful.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2009 November 1
    fpelayo permalink

    On a side note, why is the link to “zombie movies” pointing to Chuck & Larry’s page on Wikipedia instead of, say, Zombieland’s? πŸ˜›

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 1
      Windrose permalink

      And a little further off to the side, we watched Shaun of the Dead tonight, pausing to hand out candy now and again. Not a bad night, not overwhelmed with kids, and when we ran out of candy and turned all the lights off, no one bothered us. Very cool.

      Moving further sideways, one little guy in black stared at me when I guessed he was a ninja, and wanted to know how I knew that! LOL At least half the kids had to tell me that we had birds. (Yup.) And one little guy dressed as a cow must have thought it was a petting zoo, because he ran inside to look at them. Must have made his parents uneasy, but I gently herded him back out to them.

      Yup, a good night. Good night!

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 1
      dan permalink

      I’m so happy someone noticed that. It’s because I really, really don’t like Adam Sandler.

      Adores: 2
  21. 2009 November 1
    queensbee permalink

    ewww. BUT … i see a whole new branch of decorator shows on HGTV!

    Adores: 0
  22. 2009 November 1
    Igor the Vigorous permalink

    And this, folks?
    This is your brain on drugs.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 November 2
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      Wait, where did that guy I replied to go?
      What I originally was responding to was some guy who just said
      “Its probly full of cumshots or something

      haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
      Rather, something to that effect.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 2

        We do delete the spam messages that somehow make it through.

        Adores: 0
  23. 2009 November 1
    emily #1 permalink

    I recently read an article tht WalMart is now selling caskets for the low, low price of $999.99 on their website. After reading this posting I’m now wondering where they got them from…

    ewwww!

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 1

      You can also pick up caskets at Costco.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 1

        Costco caskets! Costco caskets! Accost the crusty Costco caskets!
        Across the coursing cars and kismet, uncross the cause of Costco caskets! Kiss the cussing casque that claws the casement! Curse the cost of Costco caskets!

        Adores: 14
        • 2009 November 2

          +1. That is all.

          Adores: 1
  24. 2009 November 2
    sfaye permalink

    Hooray for the I Now Pronounce you Chuch and Larry link in the intro!

    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 November 2
    autie permalink

    A funny book about dead bodies is Mary Roach’s “Stiff”

    Adores: 0
  26. 2009 November 3
    choka162 permalink

    When you go to pick one of these up they probably bonk you on the head with a brick, take your hundred dollars and then put you into one of these creepy caskets.

    BLERG! So creepy.

    On a side note I’ve always wanted to be cremated BUT what if I’m murdered by someone halfway sneaky and 10 years later they need to exhume my body to solve the crime? Too much forensic files will make you think that way.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 12
      DooeyD permalink

      Holy crap, I have that exact same concern… and here I thought too much Law & Order, etc. had made me crazy!

      Of course, I suppose it’s possible that we’re both crazy…

      Adores: 0
  27. 2009 November 3
    Gridlock permalink

    This is our most.. modestly priced receptacle.

    Adores: 4
  28. 2009 November 3

    Ew…Do you think he needs a days’ notice to clean them or just get a truck?

    Adores: 0
  29. 2009 November 3

    it was the “slightly” used part that struck a cord with me. HOW can a casket be “slightly” used?

    Hmmm.

    Adores: 0
  30. 2009 November 4
    MsKittie permalink

    There’s always plastination as an alternate to burial or cremation. A little creepy, sure, but I can think of worse things than spending eternity as a museum exhibit.

    http://tinyurl.com/plastination

    (And I second Autie’s endorsement of Mary Roach’s STIFF. Great book.)

    Adores: 0
  31. 2009 November 5
    andrew permalink

    Hmm- was this on the Chicago area CL perhaps?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burr_Oak_Cemetery

    Adores: 0
  32. 2009 November 19
    clare permalink

    am i the only one who immediately thought “scratches…? from the inside?”

    lol

    Adores: 0
  33. 2010 January 23
    Lisa Fox permalink

    I am very interested in purchasing a used casket for halloween purposes. We would like to have nice lined casket but cant spend a fortune. Maybe intrested in two. Also would like to have stand to view from. Please contact me asap as i am recieving tax return and would be able to make purchase next week and am very excited. we are from Illinois.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 January 23

      Hi Lisa,

      Would you prefer the casket delivered by UPS or dead drop?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 January 23
        Windrose permalink

        Will UPS deliver a casket? Don’t they have rules about that? Sure hope the van doesn’t break down anywhere dark and lonely.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 January 23

          They probably will, but if it’s longer than 72 inches or heavier than 18 pounds or some BS, they tack on fees like crazy.

          But I would padlock it just to make sure…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Cool. This is like a time machine. Trick or treat. Hey what did you guys get? I can wait until Christmas! Well, I’m off to the futuuuuurrrrreeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 January 23

          88 miles per hour and OH SHI-

          Adores: 0

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