YSaC, Vol. 481: Or is that vectorant?

2009 November 10
by drmk

rastorant – $60000


45 set dlevary pick up bar and dining room un belevbal price if u like to by a rastorant dont miss this offer please call mr shak xxx-xxx-7888 or xxx-xxx-xxxx .

Pete sends this ad in, saying, “I want by rastorant! This is un belevbal! Please dlevar it to me right away! 45 should be plenty of seting. But where I toย live while I run rastorant?”

$900 / 1br – besment and one bed room


a big suny nice besment and one bed room for rent if some one need pleace for rent $900 amant and evrything icolod so call xxx-xxx-7888

“Thanks Mr. Shak! The besment so suny! It should only take me amant or two toย start making money from the rastorant you sold me! And phew, I was worried it would only be partially…icolod? But no, evrything is!”

Thanks, Pete!

216 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 November 10
    JuneJenny permalink

    If you like to by a rastorant?? Pffffft. I LOVE buying restaurants!!! It’s all I can do not to pick up a couple or three every time I go out!

    I must say, though, that Mr. Shak and I definitely have one thing in common: “restaurant” is on the top of my list of words I can never remember how to spell. Please tell me that other people (besides Craigslist posters, who obviously have long, LONG lists) have those lists too.

    Adores: 13
    • 2009 November 10
      arallyn permalink

      I always misspell entomology the first time I write it down. Which is a problem, because my entomology professor grades on spelling…so I always have to double-check things. There are a few other words I misspell at first and have to change, but on a whole I was blessed with a damn good sense of how to spell things; I can usually spell things I’ve never even heard before if someone is pronouncing them correctly.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        Andrea permalink

        I spell entrepreneurship wrong on my first try every time, which is bad for me for the same reason entomology is bad for you. I’m in the Small Business Entrepreneurship program at my school and my prof told me that they won’t pass me until I can spell my major. I’ve only got one year left to learn so I hope he was kidding.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10

          I have trouble with recommendation; I always want to put two “c”s in it.

          Dan’s been making me read Terry Pratchett novels, and there was a sort of throwaway line in “Guards! Guards!” that made me double over laughing:

          “His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          ed snyder permalink

          What I hate is that when I’m typing without thinking (TWT), I will sometimes exchange no for know and vice versa. It pays to proofread, but sometimes I get in a hurry, if you no what I mean.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          tigprincess permalink

          Wasn’t it your last President who uttered the immortal quote “The problem with the French is they don’t have a word for entrepreneur”

          http://www.allgreatquotes.com/stupid_quotes110.shtml

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11

          I’m pretty sure the “French don’t have a word for entrepreneur” story isn’t true — it’s just something that sounds like something he WOULD have said.

          http://www.snopes.com/quotes/bush.asp

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        oh I have a very long list, as you’ll no doubt see the more I post. Thanks heavens for spell checkers.

        I just noticed something, our llama nun web boss had to be MADE to read Pratchett? What is the world coming to? *sigh*

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10

          I don’t have a lot of free time in which to do pleasure reading; I have to keep up with the research in my discipline, which means that most of my reading is academically oriented.

          Dan is “making” me read fiction every so often. I quite enjoy the Pratchett novels — it’s just that it makes me feel guilty to read them because I think of the journal backlog on my desk.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          develish1 permalink

          as long as you’re enjoying them. I get the lack of time thing though, my last job was a nightmare in that respect

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        Lola permalink

        Judgement. Judgment. I always want to leave the e out.
        I work at a law firm. You’d think I could get it.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          mudslicker permalink

          Actually Lola, I did see a Merriam Webster that listed both versions as being correct and have always defaulted to that explanation [btw, I always wanna leave the “i” in this word].

          And leaving the “e” out is the preferred spelling.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Donna permalink

          There is no “e” in judgment – which is why you want to leave it out.

          I spent a year in law school – then I recovered my sanity and became an English teacher.

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        jackie31337 permalink

        Shouldn’t your entomology teacher grade on your knowledge of insects and let the English teacher grade on spelling?

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          He grades on Latin spelling. He just prods me when I spell entomology wrong. Sees it as a slight, or something.

          Oh, and my English teacher grades on composition and says “just know how to use spell check…I don’t care if you can naturally spell well”

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      Cathy permalink

      Privilege. I always have to type it at least three times before it loses the red squiggle. And I always have to pause to think about whether occasion has the double C or the double S.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      tacomagic permalink

      For some reason I always like to put an extra “r” in verry… damn it.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        Miki permalink

        Refrigerator. I know how to spell it, but I always add a ‘d’ if I’m not paying attention. In my defense, however, “Fridge” has a ‘d’ in it, so it would make sense that “Refrigerator” would too.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          I do that too! I always have to go back and delete the “d”; even though I know it shouldn’t be there, I always want to add it when I type.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Heather permalink

          Most people on CL do not know how to spell refrigerator, so I guess it’s OK…?

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        Donna permalink

        Maybe you have some Scots ancestry…

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          I thought scots ancestry only made you extra-hairy?

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10

      Restaurant always kills me. So does bourgeousie. My two word nemeses.

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 November 10
        2Sly4You permalink

        I have so many word nemeses, but restaurant is one of the biggies. However, I never think I would spell it “rastorant”. Rast-o-wraunt? Ra-stor-ant? Who talks like that?
        I guess someone that thinks included is spelled “icolod” is in good company, then. Ike-ol-od? I don’t even get how you can come up with that spelling.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          This is off-topic, but…
          *points to 2Sly4You’s username*
          I spot an obscure Dr. Horrible reference!

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          Ok, yeah bourgeousie is one word that I always spell wrong (when I have to spell it, which isn’t often)…I thought it was bourgeoisie?

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      Colleen in MA permalink

      The new local pizza shop has “deserts” on their menu. Don’t they know that the things we love to eat get two Ss because we want more than one?

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        I see that one a lot too Colleen

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        arallyn permalink

        I like to eat deserts. Don’t discriminate ๐Ÿ™

        /om nom nom sand

        Adores: 9
    • 2009 November 10
      JcT permalink

      I go back over thirty years to how I finally got restaurant to spell correctly every time.

      Say it out loud until your mind can say it out loud:

      rest – ay – you – RANT rest – ay – you – RANT

      The rest of you rant while I spell restaurant. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Yes, I am proud of myself for coming up with that one as a teenager.

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        PapaSloth permalink

        I do the same thing with “business.” I mentally pronounce it as “busy-ness” and that allows me to spell it correctly. Also “connect-i-cutt.”

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          JcT permalink

          Roger that on both of those.

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        Me too! JcT, I did that too. Tricky word, and then I learned to spell it in Russian. It looks like Pectopaw. But it’s pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 11
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          “But itโ€™s pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove.”
          So it’s pronounced exactly like the rest of the Russian language, then? ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 3
      • 2009 November 11
        Yoshi permalink

        I remember how to spell restaurant because I just say it in Spanish in my head. “Restaurante!” Being in Boston now, I can never remember how to spell Faneuil Hall. I always use the Google search bar with the auto-suggestion to double-check myself on words that I can’t remember how to spell.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      PapaSloth permalink

      I lived in Boston for 15 years and could never spell “Massachusetts.” In fact, I had to google it just now to get the spelling right. This is the true and secret reason I moved to Portland 5 years ago. Ahh, beautiful Oregon, how easy you are to spell.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 November 10
        junejenny permalink

        Oh, place names. Cincinnati. That’s a hard one!

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11

      I adore spelling….I can spell almost anything you can throw at me.

      But PRONOUNCING…..I can’t pronounce certain words no matter how much my husband coaches me. Reading out loud is one of my greatest phobias! Phonics didn’t do crap for me…… ๐Ÿ˜

      Adores: 1
  2. 2009 November 10

    I don’t think we should be too hard on Mr. Shakespeare. Keep in mind that English orthography was not standardized in his day. Without a dictionary, those Renaissance dramatists had no single correct way to spell belevbal, rastorant and icolod. As a recent transplant to our era, he will need some time to get his act together.

    Adores: 17
    • 2009 November 10
      JuneJenny permalink

      Ohhh, I was wondering about the origins of his name. I thought maybe it was a clue about what type of rastorant I might be buying. Is it a shack? Does it serve shakes? Have a basketball theme?

      Adores: 6
      • 2009 November 11
        SwissKat permalink

        It’s a “luvve shak, babbye, luvve shak”.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 11
          Lola permalink

          You might not want it then. I heard that its tiiiiiiiiiiiiin roof … rusted.

          Adores: 4
    • 2009 November 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      I have the hardest time with “bureau” and “refrigerator”, those are my top two I always have to spell check.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Dang it, this was supposed to go up there. *points to JuneJenny’s post*

        Adores: 0
  3. 2009 November 10
    Cled permalink

    I just can’t parse icolod. Anyone?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      I can infer that it’s supposed to be “included”, but when I sound it out it comes out something like “ick-o-load”. I’ve got no idea what road they traveled to get to that particular spelling.

      Adores: 5
      • 2009 November 10
        ed snyder permalink

        I’m sure it’s included. Some folks talk like this and spell words exactly how they think the words sound.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          but…but…how…that doesn’t even SOUND like included!

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Who’s that handsome sailor fella in your avatar, Ed?

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          ed snyder permalink

          Sarajean, that was me 20 years ago when I was still handsome.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 11
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          Go go, fail-phonetics!
          Ed, I love it. The stache, the eyebrow… You’re like a pretentious, white-hatted Mario. ‘Tis wonderful. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        Cled permalink

        Included!

        I was tending toward “isolated” or “insulated”, neither of which makes the least bit of sense.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          Yeah…contextually I guess included is the only one that makes sense. I don’t understand how someone pronounces it that way, though.

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        tacomagic permalink

        Thanks Sarajean, now I’ve got Disney’s Ichabod Crane song stuck in my head… only with Ick-o-load:

        Ick-o-load, what a name
        Kind of odd but nice just the same
        Funny pan
        Funny frame
        Ick-o-load
        Icoload Crane

        Adores: 2
  4. 2009 November 10
    ed snyder permalink

    I want to buy a rastofarian-themed rastoraunt.

    Adores: 8
    • 2009 November 10
      Meredith permalink

      That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking.

      “Come on in, mon. You want a menu, mon? Have the jerk chicken”.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 November 10

        Heeee. I’m sorry, but now I’m picturing you, a very very white girl, saying that, and I’m dying laughing.

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          Meredith permalink

          It sounds even funnier than you can imagine.

          And I’m even whiter than you can imagine. That’s me with a heavy tan. Think Wonder Bread.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          tacomagic permalink

          White healthy white bread for white, white people… mon.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        Cyrus permalink

        I make a really mean jerk chicken. I haven’t cooked that in ages. Thank you for reminding me Meredith!

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          David P permalink

          Hello, new guy here. Love the site, LOVE the comments ( I have a particular fondness for the Soviet Russia jokes).

          Anyways, definitely loving the idea of a rastafarian restaurant, though I’m not sure I’d touch any dessert there…especially brownies…

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          lareina permalink

          Hi, David! Welcome to the madhouse ๐Ÿ™‚

          In Soviet Russia, chicken jerks you!

          …oh, wait.

          Ew.

          Adores: 31
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        someone had to say it Lareina, I’m just glad you saved the rest of us from having to do it, and yes, EW!

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          Er … *pauses in everyone’s embarrassed silence after the Soviet Russia chicken joke*
          Rastafarian Brownie?!? ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          lareina permalink

          Never let it be said that I won’t take one for the team, dev. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          develish1 permalink

          and we thank you for it. At least, I think we do, or at least we will when we get that image out of our heads

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          In Soviet Russia, Rastafarian Brownies bake you!

          Actually, I think that’s true everywhere.

          Adores: 12
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        I’m thinking he means a “special” brownie, if you get my drift

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          That’s what I was thinking too – meant to say (more clearly) that after that joke I’d offer the new guy one of the Special Rasta Brownies.
          After a few bites, he may not care or remember the joke. ๐Ÿ™‚

          “Rasta Brownie, new friend?”

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        maybe brownies all round? I’m not sure I want to remember the chicken for too long either

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          David P permalink

          Thanks Lola

          *proceeds to slowly take the brownie from Lola’s hand and take a bite*

          * All comments seem exceedingly funny now*

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Can I have a brownie, too?
          I brought ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ and ‘The Wizard of Oz’so we can watch them together.
          And a lava lamp.

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          I’m going to light some incense – any suggestions?
          I have lavender, sandalwood, and Old VW Bus Down by the River.

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          No patchouli?
          Bummer, man.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          I’m allergic to patchouli. Sorry.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11

          I’m new here! May I have a brownie too????

          ~begging puppy eyes~

          This post seems to be going into an odd spot, but as I scan below, I think…maybe I can have TWO brownies?? ๐Ÿ˜€

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          arallyn permalink

          I never got brownies!

          I’ll give you a brownie that I steal from them if you share some of it with me.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11

          Deal! One for me, one for you, and split the last one!!!

          But I already finished all the ale…..sorry! (It was Blue Moon, I couldn’t help myself!)

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        vickie permalink

        my immediate thought for chicken jerk was more OW rather than EW (the claws and all)

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        ed snyder permalink

        Jerk chicken, jerk beef, jerk pork. Is there any meat this man can’t jerk?

        Adores: 10
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Can’t…breathe…laughing…too…hard…

          *passes out*

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          David permalink

          He may be able to jerk a lot of meat, but more important, is it jerked well?
          Half or badly jerked meat has never been my thing.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          ed snyder permalink

          I’ll be honest, it’s a Hermes line from a Futurama episode.

          Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      Tweaker permalink

      I was scanning down to see if someone had made that point already! I want to have a rastarant too, I wouldn’t need to give any of the employees health insurance, more money for me! (and brownies)

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11
      tigprincess permalink

      Here in the UK there is this entrepreneur called Levi Roots who makes and sells Reggae Reggae Sauce (HOT HOT HOT); helps kids in deprived neighbourhoods; has a record out at the moment and if he ran a Rasta-Rant would more than likely serve *winks* Rastafarian Brownies.
      With this new movie out about Woodstock let’s go back to the time of barefeet, music and special brownies.

      Adores: 0
  5. 2009 November 10
    mudslicker permalink

    I just scared myself because I could actually make out what those Klingons were saying in both of them.

    Where’s the bleach and my copy of Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury I can clutch to calm me down?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      Mimi permalink

      If you want my copy of The Sound and the Fury you’re welcome to it. I have tried reading it 4 times and can NOT plow my way through. I loved As I Lay Dying though. Go figure.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        mudslicker permalink

        That’s because the first narrative is so hard to get through. I loved the fact that the sequence of events got easier and easier to piece together the further you got into the novel. Shake things up and read it backwards!

        Or you could use your copy to hold up the missing leg to your normal smelling couch.

        *grin*

        Adores: 3
  6. 2009 November 10
    Sherri permalink

    First reaction: posted via cell phone, possibly one with only 10 keys. When I had to use that double-tap method for texting, I created some highly intriguing words. Being me, I backspaced a lot to fix them, but occasionally I was just in too much of a hurry. Someone who doesn’t share my fixation might not bother.

    Second reaction: typed with a fork.

    Adores: 15
    • 2009 November 10
      tacomagic permalink

      ib a typing with a fork right noe. its not so bad.

      (Seriousslu I’m actually yping with 2 forks right now. Had to go find a second one so I could capitalize. I haven’t allowed the backspace key either and I’ve not looked up from the kryboard. How’d I do?)

      Adores: 18
      • 2009 November 10

        Surprisingly well. Thanks for taking that on in the name of science!

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 13
        Addicted Reader permalink

        It sounds like you’re speaking w/ a stuffed-up nose. I hope that clears up soon!

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      Mimi permalink

      Hmm, I can’t decide if “Typed With a Fork” would be a good band name or a terrible one. Maybe it would look good on a T-shirt though.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        I think I’d agree, better shirt than band that one

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        Heather permalink

        I think that it needs to be a new tag, to say the least.

        Adores: 4
      • 2009 November 10
        jackie31337 permalink

        I think it would be better as an album name.

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 11
        ed snyder permalink

        I personally think Icolod would be a better band name. Maybe their first CD could be entitled Typed With a Fork.

        Adores: 2
  7. 2009 November 10
    Stephanie permalink

    If “icolod” means “included”…. What on EARTH does he mean by “everything included” in renting his basement?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10

      Utilities, maybe?

      Or, more likely, dead bodies and rats.

      Adores: 11
      • 2009 November 10
        Meredith permalink

        “What? Everything IS included. See…walls, door..window…more walls..”

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          tacomagic permalink

          Everything:

          It puts the lotion on its skin…

          Adores: 5
        • 2009 November 10
          Windrose permalink

          AND it has a suny! A big suny. Pretty rare in the besments in my area.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Meredith permalink

          I just googled “suny”. Apparently this besment holds the entire State University of New York.

          900$ seems cheap for a besment that breaks the barriers of space. What’s that phone number???

          Adores: 7
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          I went to SUNY (Albany) as a grad student. If that basement is typical of a lot of the classrooms, it has graffiti, departmental politics that will make you insane, is depressingly institutional, and the bureacracy is a nightmare (though with good instructors).
          I don’t care how cheap it is, it will also be holding, apparently, 438,361 students (that’s the whole system, incl. colleges, universitites and community colleges). No thanks!

          Adores: 5

        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          But you would each only have to pay $ 0.002053 per month, which would be a real bargain!

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        but you’d be sitting on each others laps on the one bed. Might get a tad uncomfortable.

        Adores: 1
  8. 2009 November 10

    I like to think “icolod” is not supposed to be “included” but rather “Ichabod”. As in Ichabod Crane?

    Maybe the apartment comes with a skinny, crazy-looking, pumpkin toting roomie? And since it’s just a “one bed room” you’ve got to share a bed with him. I’d pay $900 a month for that- JUST because I know I’d have some great stories to tell.

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 November 10
      arallyn permalink

      That was my first thought! “Ic…o…lod…Ichabod?”

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who went there.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10

      I’m leaning toward “ichthyoid” myself. Although I would want to see pictures of the ichthyoidal everything being mentioned. Is it like an “Under the Sea” prom theme?

      Adores: 4
  9. 2009 November 10
    Meredith permalink

    I’d like the whole 45 set dlevary pick up bar and dining room IN my new besement and one bed room.

    And I read this as a room for ONE and ONLY ONE bed. Not one room for the purpose of holding a bed.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 November 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      I took it to mean there was only one bed for the room, like it is some odd shape like a triangle and there is only one bed in the world that would fit inside.
      Maybe that’s just me.

      Adores: 3
  10. 2009 November 10
    tacomagic permalink

    “mr shak”
    Pronounced “em are shak” it would be a half decent band name… or better yet a law firm:

    Hear at M.R. Shak we make shure you’re treted like a humen beeng we dont’ get teh green unles you do!!1! if you have a bar or dining rom that injurd you when pick’d up call on of our freindly asocites for a free(!) consulation at a reasonable price of free!!1! her at M.R. Shak we put the focus on u! we dont lulz unles u do!

    Twice in one week, I’m turning into lolbat.

    Adores: 12
    • 2009 November 10
      Stephanie permalink

      Halp I bot a rastorant for a un belvbal price but it wus faltie!! Get me my monies M.R. Shak!!1!1

      Adores: 13
      • 2009 November 10
        GrahamT permalink

        LoL u shud of lookt at teh rastorant failur rate its liek 60% w/in 2 yeers.

        Adores: 6
  11. 2009 November 10

    Initially I was thinking that icolod was some sort of marine invertebrate, like an isopod, or a chiton or something.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 November 10
      Stephanie permalink

      I at first thought he was trying to spell “isolated” or “isosceles”.

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      Lola permalink

      Read enough CL entries in any area where you’re dealing with people whose first language is not English (which I suspect to be the case here) and parsing spelling of things like this becomes easier. If a bit depressing.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        arallyn permalink

        I don’t know…I read the Twin Cities Craigslist semi-frequently, and there is a LARGE non-native English speaking population, and I haven’t gotten much better than when I started.

        Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      LurkRealClose permalink

      I got iColor. It’s the latest thing from Apple. Makes everything it touches turn one color. Like the Midas touch, only, you know, color. I don’t know; but I certainly couldn’t make that word be “included”.

      Adores: 1
  12. 2009 November 10
    JuneJenny permalink

    I read “amant” as amount. I think drmk’s “a month” is a better interpretation, though. Scarrier, but better.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10

      Honestly, I read “amant” as part of the much-beloved Latin conjugation. Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatus, amant. ๐Ÿ™‚

      But, then I realized that the translation- “$900 they love” didn’t make any sense. Much like the rest of their posting.

      If I try to think of a context in which “$900 they love” DOES make sense, I am drawn to imagine something kinky & possibly illegal. Especially with the aforementioned “Ichabod Crane” association….

      Adores: 7
      • 2009 November 10
        mudslicker permalink

        Kudos on the Latin conjugation woofless!

        But is what you’re saying that the rest of the post is Greek to you?

        Adores: 9
      • 2009 November 10
        Lola permalink

        “$900 they love” sounds like something from Adult Services before outphasing.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          develish1 permalink

          am I going blind? I don’t see that term anywhere in the post

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10

          “$900 they love” would be from woofless’s translation from the Latin “$900 amant”.

          Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        so yes, I’m going blind is what you’re saying? lol. didn’t read it properly did I?

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Maybe they Latinized an LOL, to make it seem classier.
        As if that were possible.

        Thanks for that, woofless. I had a mini-daymare about high school Latin class.

        Adores: 2
  13. 2009 November 10
    lost_compass permalink

    It seems likely that the besment apartment is under the rastorant, so this looks like a win-win situation! You rent the apartment; get on as the dlevary boy for a break in the rent; after the dinner rush, you can go to the pick up bar, and hit on the customers: “Want to go downstairs and see my icolods?”

    Adores: 12
  14. 2009 November 10
    Count Blah permalink

    Am I the only one who hears the first ad in the voice of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons?

    Adores: 4
    • 2009 November 10

      No. No, you are not.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 November 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      “Hi Everybody!”
      “Hi Mr. Shak!”

      I can sort of hear it now.

      Adores: 4
    • 2009 November 10
      develish1 permalink

      that makes at least three of us then

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        Four if you count Blah

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          develish1 permalink

          ooops.
          “refresh is my friend, refresh is my friend, refresh is my friend”

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          mudslicker permalink

          HAHA. You made a pun sarajean!

          Adores: 2
  15. 2009 November 10
    Meredith permalink

    I hear my old landlord selling the “besment”. A man who, sadly, seemed to fit every “Asian” stereotype that’s ever been. He spoke in VERY broken English when showing us the townhouse, or when we would call about something that needed fixing.

    “Window fine. We fix. We tape close. You no open anymore so stay fix. You open, you pay to fix window. You want to order lunch?”

    Yeah, that’s because he also owned a Chinese takeout place around the corner, and no matter what you ordered, it would be there in “TEN MIIIINUT” How long??? “TEN MIIIINUT”. No matter what…and we could SEE the place from our window.

    The day he was over fixing a problem, and we came home and caught him speaking in clear, concise English with barely a hint of an accent, was a hilarious day indeed.

    Please note: I do not adhere to stereotypes of any form or fashion. I am stating a story of how someone played off of one.

    Adores: 13
    • 2009 November 10
      tacomagic permalink

      I think the only way to combat that sort of thing is to reply in incomprehensible Southern Drawl. Think Boomhauer from King of the Hill.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 November 10
        dan permalink

        Do I have to?

        Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        sarajean80 permalink

        I know people who sound a lot like Boomhauer, they’re from up in the hills. My natural accent’s not that thick but I’ve actually used my version the dreaded Drawl when I’ve been up North.
        You can get men to do all sorts of things for you if you have a deep Southern drawl.

        Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 10

        I think Boomhauer is more of a case of Twang than Drawl. Also, he mumbles.

        But (and JcT can back me up on this) he’s totally realistic. All the voices on King of the Hill are at most a tiny shade exaggerated.

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          My mother’s not from there, so the accent is different, but she looks just like Peggy Hill. I have had this confirmed by family members.
          It’s weird. And detracts slightly from my enjoyment of the show.

          Adores: 0

        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Have you ever turned on your TV’s closed captioning and watched? It’s a hoot.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          In Hungary in the 90’s (I think? Maybe it was earlier this decade), Discovery channel accidentally ran the same set of subtitles from a documentary about frogs for several shows, including a show about Hitler.

          I wish, I wish, I had seen that.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          There is a hilarious story that I think is in one of the Far Side collections, where one of the Far Side captions was accidentially swapped with the caption for Dennis the Menace. I think it had something to do with hamsters.

          Adores: 1
  16. 2009 November 10
    Heather permalink

    This is another one of those posts that immediately made me think of, “how is babby formed?” Humanity is doomed.

    On a side note, I’ll be gone for a few days in order to have a REAL BABBY! I will miss the amazing wit of you all and will post as soon as I get back with baby details.

    Adores: 7
    • 2009 November 10
      Meredith permalink

      Congrtaurations on reel babby!!!!

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      lost_compass permalink

      Yes, good luck with the dlevary!

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 November 10
        lareina permalink

        Mak soor they giv u teh epd-epy-epydoo….poky thing that makes it not hurt.

        Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      tacomagic permalink

      I had a reel babby 2 weeks ago. My wife and I still ask each other, “How was babby formed?”

      Adores: 4
      • 2009 November 10
        Lola permalink

        Oh no! You still don’t know “how was babby formed?” and you have one?
        I thought I knew, but maybe not …
        *worries that now random babby will appear anyway despite birth control and/or celibacy*

        Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          If my Memaw is to be believed, babbys form under cabbage leaves beneath a full moon.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          Windrose permalink

          Lola, just post babby on CL. You might get, oh, maybe $30 if it’s a really good babby.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          Windrose, you’re a genius. All right, not so worried then!

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      Cled permalink

      Whee! Congratulations!

      Erm… to the actual babby-havers, that is.

      Lola, I wouldn’t worry too much. That’s only happened once that I know of…

      Adores: 1
      • 2009 November 10
        Windrose permalink

        When will Babby be here? In Ten MIIINUT!

        Adores: 10
        • 2009 November 10
          Heather permalink

          Thank you, Windrose, for making me choke on my own spit.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Meredith permalink

          HA. And if you get two at once, you get a small white rice and two eggrolls.

          There are benefits to ordering…er..making…several at once.

          Adores: 2
      • 2009 November 10
        tacomagic permalink

        Actually it was extremely common around the dark ages. When it came down to being stoned to death for amoral behavior or reassuring everyone that you were inpregnated by an angel/demon, it was a pretty easy choice.

        It kind of dwindled off with the Renaissance though. I guess all the randy supernatural creatures were basking in their collective afterglow… or maybe busy raising all their kids.

        But who knows, the realm of the supernatural hasn’t gotten any in a while so Lola might have more to be concerned about than we might expect.

        Adores: 7
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          *hides*
          *makes tinfoil chastity belt, a la tinfoil-hat concept*
          *does not really feel safer*

          Adores: 7
        • 2009 November 10
          develish1 permalink

          not sure that works against supernatural beings Lola

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Cled permalink

          What a good point, tacomagic.

          I take it back, Lola. Be concerned. Be very concerned.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          Lola – I think that only works for aliens.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          Lola permalink

          sarajean –
          I don’t know what else to use! Rosaries?
          I’d need one of those big 1950s, worn-on-the-belt-by-Mother-Superior types.
          Or, I could just trust science. … And stay away from cabbage patches.

          Adores: 4
      • 2009 November 10
        develish1 permalink

        maybe all of the above, just to be safe?

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          You could use an aspirin.
          Just hold one between your knees, and there you have it; effective birth control through modern science.

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 November 10
          tacomagic permalink

          I’m told (via the scientific method) that if you stop bathing it will prevent immaculate conception… and all other forms of conception as well.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          How did we get through…everything up until indoor plumbing, then? People sure reproduced without bathing back then!

          On a related side-note, has anyone seen the movie version of The Crucible? When I saw people kissing with those naaaasty crud-encrusted teeth I nearly wretched. Of course, I was in middle school and easily perturbed, soooo yeah…

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          Arallyn, it didn’t bother me.
          It made me snort, and I was in class reading it out loud and gave John Proctor the BEST scottish accent ever, gave Hale a russian one, and gave guy-who-got crushed (too damned long ago) a british one.
          I got them mixed up a few times… ‘Twas rather entertaining.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          arallyn permalink

          That’s because you’re a guy, and a teenage one at that. You’re all like that.

          EDIT: Let me revise that…you’re mostly like that. A good friend of mine until we parted ways in high school was technically a teenaged dude, but he was so effeminate that it was easy to be fooled. The several hundred pounds of extra fat (no exaggeration) on him and his high voice made people mistake him from time to time. Now that he’s lost most of that weight and got a tummy tuck but still has loose skin on his hips, he makes a stunning Frank N. Furter.

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      mudslicker permalink

      How is babby formed? Looking at your avatar Heather, I would guess by a smaller jello mold.

      Have a safe and joyous delivery!

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 November 10
        Heather permalink

        Thanks, everyone! I cannot wait to see what MaleTraits he may be born with! I’m pregnant, which entitles me to end my sentences with prepositions.

        Adores: 3
        • 2009 November 10
          lareina permalink

          I have a dirty mind, so I sometimes end mine with propositions. Wanna come up and see my icolods?

          Adores: 6
        • 2009 November 10
          arallyn permalink

          Sometimes jello can be difficult to get out of the mold, leaving little bits on the metal/plastic. May that not happen to your Jello with MaleTraits.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 10
          sarajean80 permalink

          He might end up with FemaleTraits.

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 10
          Meredith permalink

          Second time I’ve spit some sort of liquid all over the room. Thanks.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11

          Congrats, Heather!

          Hm…I wonder if babby will drive an ERROR: CAR NOT FOUND when he grows up?

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      sarajean80 permalink

      Congrats on the reel babbys, Heather and tacomagic โ™ฅ

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Yay you! Congrats and good luck and come back with pictures!

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      Just for anyone who hasn’t seen the Caveman Shatner-
      http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf
      At this point, I’m not sure we don’t deserve to be extinct…

      Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11
      tigprincess permalink

      Hope everything goes well – and remembwer, screaming and swearing is requid when giving birth – as is red wine thereafter

      Adores: 0
  17. 2009 November 10
    Windrose permalink

    It’s worse than we thought. I just heard someone interviewed on the local PBS radio station say the practice is forcing down prices “globally all over the world.”

    She must be from the Department of Redundancy Department.

    Adores: 9
    • 2009 November 10
      Meredith permalink

      Spending my evening laughing at all the posts I missed during my last hour of work. You guys are on a roll tonight!

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        You folks are the best audience I could ever wish for. 8)

        On a side note, is it true that there is a limit to how many times a post can be replied to? (Dang, dangle, dangling) Seems like not all the responses have reply links at the bottom, or is it just me?

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          Igor the Vigorous permalink

          Windrose, that’s WordPress’ policy- this one won’t have a reply button. You can only reply so many times, after that you just have the discussion in the same reply zone. It’s pretty simple, once you figure it out.

          Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          tigprincess permalink

          Thanks Igor – everything is pretty simple once you figure it out. * now where is my Knit-A-Spaceship pattern* Windrush – I was wondering the same as you.

          Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          Tigprincess: Windrush! I like it. Probably the lentils, though. 8)

          Igor: It’s the old magic or technology issue. I appreciate the enlightenment.

          Adores: 0
  18. 2009 November 10
    Dan Someone permalink

    So the big question is: non-native English speaker or Montessori graduate?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 10
      arallyn permalink

      Not gonna touch that one…just gotta say that I was in a Montessori school for three years and still made it to the state level of the spelling bee. I don’t know (or care) if they help, but they didn’t hurt my family.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 10
      Heather permalink

      He may not be able to spell, but he can do AMAZING THINGS at the water table station!

      Adores: 0
  19. 2009 November 10
    GrahamT permalink

    I just wanted to give the nod of respect to the graphics format joke in the headline for this post.

    Adores: 2
  20. 2009 November 10
    Richelle permalink

    icolod = included? Good god. That took me forever to figure out.

    Adores: 0
  21. 2009 November 11
    dogface permalink

    Soooo… Is this the LOLcat version of a Craigslist ad?

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 11
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      If you mean the site, then no…
      But if you mean the language, then no- that would be so, so much more terrifying!

      Adores: 0
  22. 2009 November 11
    arallyn permalink

    This site is so great when I haven’t slept for 36 hours! I mean, normally I love it, but more in a way that it makes me smile and chuckle when I normally feel like Marvin the Paranoid Android…I actually woke my boyfriend up from laughing and he isn’t even in the same room as me.

    Win!

    Adores: 1
  23. 2009 November 11
    tigprincess permalink

    This site is getting addictive! I’ve been away from it for 36 hours – selling my soul for pieces of silver – and am back here for my fix before ‘working’.
    Will they create isolation wards for YSaC-itis? Evidenced by Grammar Slapping and squirting coffee (or any liquids) from nasal orifices whilst reading monitors? and murmuring about LLama Nuns and Ostriches and tentikils?

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      Whoa! I feel a Twelve Step program coming on.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 11
        arallyn permalink

        If we’re starting a 12-step program, let me be the first to say: I have a problem! Just the other day I skipped two classes because of the lively conversation on here was far more interesting than Lactation and Botany would have been.

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          Heather permalink

          Those are two separate classes, right? *shudders at the thought of milk-producing geraniums*

          Adores: 2
        • 2009 November 12
          Windrose permalink

          Lactating Plants? Wow, what a concept. o-O

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 11
      Igor the Vigorous permalink

      If 36 hours is your sobriety time, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I check every site every 3-5 minutes or an hour maximum.

      Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 11
        Igor the Vigorous permalink

        Site that I visit regularly*

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 11
          Lola permalink

          For this one and others with comments, that’s about par, although at work it’s more like 15-30 mins if we’re not busy.

          Slightly different topic:
          For a moment there I was looking at your posts and couldn’t figure out why you weren’t in school … we don’t get a holiday here. The mail is closed, the courts are closed, there are dead and living people to honor, and we’re toiling.

          Thanks very much to Ed and other vets who visit this site. I mean that.

          Adores: 0
  24. 2009 November 11
    arallyn permalink

    haha, yes, very different. One for my Dairy Sci major, one for my bio major xD

    Adores: 0
  25. 2009 November 11
    444 permalink

    Here is my list of spelling whoppers from Craigslist and eBay, in no particular order. I didn’t make up any of theese:

    Ahmwore
    Chord Wood
    Goog
    Crome
    Prophane
    Immation
    Eelongated toilit
    Vacume
    Minuet mount
    Baby carraige
    Perfeshional clipers and sissoers
    Plasmas
    Commical
    Therapeudic
    Chimmy pipe
    Mermade
    Demention
    Gospell
    Powre
    Seahell
    Churb
    Sequence (the shinny kind)
    Latter rack
    Window pain
    Ressess
    Lazor
    Geraff
    Chester drawers
    Contorled
    Wook
    Trash shoot
    Pedistal
    Projectile tv
    Affordabel Homie
    Comoade
    Hsower
    Steal sign/Stainless steal
    Bule
    Slae
    Reporduction
    Knick knack
    Fratility god
    Dehumidifire
    Defiantly
    Rod iron
    Meatl
    Bargin
    Precher
    Sweal
    Assoted
    Scotter
    Snow bowler
    Whoola hoop
    Asseries
    Sadels
    Masser for saler
    Cunter top
    Adjestable
    Refigorator
    Waking Stick
    Striper/ fishing poll
    Excesories
    Religish
    Threadmil
    Subwolfer

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 November 11
      Lola permalink

      *reaches for giant bottle of asprin*

      Most of these I can figure out. However:

      goog
      churb
      wook
      bule
      slae
      sweal
      asseries

      have me making a total whiskey-tango-foxtrot? face.

      Thumbs up on “cunter top,” though. I’m pretty sure that’s an article of clothing, right?

      Adores: 2
      • 2009 November 11

        (Somewhere between a merkin and a codpiece.)

        Adores: 1
        • 2009 November 11
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Ew?

          Adores: 0
      • 2009 November 11

        Reasonably sure of:
        slae = sale
        asseries = accessories (probably)

        Reasonable guesses for:
        churb could be “curb”
        wook could be a typo for “wool” or “wood”
        sweal could be … “swell”? typo for “steal” or “sweat”?

        No clue on goog or bule without context. (Edited to add: wait, “bule” is probably “blue”.)

        Adores: 0
        • 2009 November 12
          tacomagic permalink

          Bule could also be an attempt to spell Boule.

          goog is probably supposed to be “good”.

          Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 12
      tigprincess permalink

      Ok firstly I’m playing the “I’m from England” card; secondly thanks for some of the translations drmk and Lola but I’m still stuck on Cord Wood. I’ve thought of cardboard and corduroy and cork wood (?) then my mind went on strike. Help!

      Adores: 0
  26. 2009 November 11
    Lola permalink

    drmk, I think you have them, probably … was thinking that context might help with these, though they’re still scary.

    but … goog = ??!??

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 November 12

      I’ve run this site long enough that I’m fluent in typonese.

      Adores: 1
  27. 2009 November 12
    444 permalink

    1) If you take a goog look when you wook on your car, you will find engine sweals, bearing sweals, etc.
    2) Churbs are young angles, sometimes called putty.
    3) Plasmas are not only blood fluids or TV models; they are also nightclothes.

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 November 12
      tigprincess permalink

      @444 I think my phrase for the forthcoming Christmas season will be “Churbs are young angles, sometimes called putty”

      Adores: 0

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