YSaC, Vol. 655: Rines, Sally, Rines!

2010 May 3
by dan

mustang gt coertible – $2300


ihave very nice mustang yuprobablti love have nice rines power windows 2air bags /v.8 motorverystrong 160.00mails only haveproblemneed whaterpomp alsohaveeletric problem . idonthave money tofii xe this is why im salen $2300 obo . please contacme at########## whit nestor .tanks

Let’s define our terms, shall we?

coertible: Well, “coer” is almost French for “heart”, so maybe something which is coertible is lovable. You know, like all those “I heart my Weimaraner” bumper stickers you see. If you can heart something, it must be heartable, thus coertible.

yuprobablti:This is a large, hairy, rarely sighted monster like the Yeti or Sasquatch. However, it’s only seen in the former Yugoslavian states in the Balkans.

whaterpomp: Pomp! There it is! What you shout when you see the yuprobablti!

tofii: Plural of tofu

xe: Twenty-seven points on a triple word score.

salen: I’m salen away -set an open course for the Virgin Sea

nestor: A bird with eggs to hatch.

There. The post makes perfect sense now, right?

Thanks for the link, Lady Kaos!

183 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 May 3
    TacoMagic permalink

    This poster was one letter off from saying this Mustang has runes of power!

    Which let me tell you, would be wellwroth 2300.00 (obo)!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Well, either that or Rines Power is a misguided attempt to insinuate that the car is the most melony car you’ll ever taste.

      Vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
      Melon Car!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        mudslicker permalink

        That’s because it’s a mustang gt coercible…you agree it’s minty/melony or it breaks your legs.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 3
        Windrose permalink

        Taco! Missed you for some days here. 8_)

        Adores: 0
  2. 2010 May 3
    MandaB permalink

    I’m thinking I should have had coffee instead of this big mug of yuprobablti.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 3
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Yeah, that decaf yuprobablti just won’t get you through the day.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        MandaB permalink

        Tomorrow I will try the motorverystrong yuprobabalti. Maybe that will be better, but probabalti not.

        Adores: 3
  3. 2010 May 3
    Innana permalink

    Why do I here this in a Gollum voice?
    And does this mean “rines power” should be “ring of power”?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 3
      Innana permalink

      Umm, I meant to type “hear”. Sorry (blushing).

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        Windrose permalink

        The first step in correcting a problem is admitting you have one, Innana. Well done. 8)

        Adores: 0
  4. 2010 May 3
    LimeLolly permalink

    Poster says this mustang has 2 air bags. I count 3… it’s just that one doesn’t come with the car. At least it better not!

    Adores: 3
  5. 2010 May 3
    Lola permalink

    Who put the pomp in the what-what-whaterpomp?

    Adores: 22
    • 2010 May 3
      A. Lion permalink

      Yeah, sorry – that was me.

      But I swear I was just trying to put the ram in the ram-alama-ding-dong.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 May 3
        Lola permalink

        You know what’s harder than that, though?
        Putting the yuprobablti in a salen boat with enough tofii. It’s enough to make a person say “Xe!”

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3
          A. Lion permalink

          True. But you might be able to do it with a davit, a motorverystrong and a 5-gallon bucket of astroglide.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          “5-gallon bucket of astroglide”

          *head asplode*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 3

          nowtuself:
          Mowturoyl isnat intarchngbull wuth Asterglade
          The burning….

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          [corey]As someone with more than a bit of experience with boats great and small (thus the corey), davits are best used in pairs.

          Cranes, jibs, king-post derricks, et al, are better for single-point boat slinging.

          That, and our favorite North Carolinian is not going to be happy, being used as trailer hull rail lube (as a guess).
          [/corey]

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Capn – with 5 gallons of Astroglide, only one davit (perhaps none) would be necessary

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        CapnMac permalink

        “Fat, drunk, and Not.A.Lion, is no way to go through life, son.”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          A. Lion permalink

          Thank you, sir! May I have another?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          “THEY TOOK THE BAR!!!”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          A. Lion permalink

          Mind if we dance with your dates?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          MandaB permalink

          “See if you can guess what I am now…”

          (hint: Not.A.Lion)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          “Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! TOGA!!!!!”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          MandaB permalink

          “Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No!”

          “Germans???”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          “Don’t stop him, he’s on a roll.”

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3

      The same man that put the Ram in the Dodge-along-a-ding-dong

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 3

        Sorry, nonexistent wildcat, didn’t see your comment up there.

        Adores: 0
  6. 2010 May 3

    Elzo i canut rede welenof t teak th dirvers teset soth musstengs nat wroth mcuh t me

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      I know there is an unused set of material around here to help you with this pesky problem. Is your nickname Babay?

      Adores: 4
  7. 2010 May 3
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    I keep reading “whaterpomp” as “whateverpomp” and it comes out in a sullen teenager voice. Wait. That actually might be my sullen teenager talking to me. hedonthave money tofii xe either.

    Mmm, Toffeefay.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      Lola permalink

      Luv your avvie, Princess Bucket.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Now, seems to me, “what ever pomp” might be a common occurence about the Beuw-kay residnece.

      And i still prefer Onslow’s sense of “pomp”

      Adores: 4
  8. 2010 May 3
    Innana permalink

    Stately, plump Buck Mustang came from the whaterpomp, bearing a v8. motor on which two airbags lay crossed. Nice rines, power windows, were opened coertible behind him, with a slightelectricproblem. He held the motor aloft and intoned:

    – yuprobablti tofii xe

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 3
      Lola permalink

      Ulysses ref ftw. Innana, I have a crush on you today.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        Innana permalink

        Ah, shucks…

        where else could I get my Joyce reference recognized so quickly!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3

          (In my Modernism class, I hope…)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 3
          TacoMagic permalink

          What’s a Ulysses?

          *flees in terror*

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          It’s a U.S. grant you seem unlikely to get

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 May 3

          Y’orta read it, Taco. It’s a big Irish book with a bunch of jokes in it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 4
          TacoMagic permalink

          I actually have read it =). I was trying to get a rise out of the English lit majors here.

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 May 3
    EclecticBlue permalink

    The space bar is usually the biggest key on the keyboard. The shift key is the second biggest key, at least on my keyboard. Just saying.

    Adores: 22
    • 2010 May 3
      camille permalink

      Apparently, hedonthave money tofii xe the keyboard either. (Yuprobablti already guessed that).

      Adores: 11
    • 2010 May 3

      $2300 will buy Sparky a helluvalot of new keyboards.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3

        Apparently, Sparky’s fence mending business did not ‘take off’ as expected. Hence, he has no keyboards to repair.

        Adores: 5
  10. 2010 May 3
    Corey Sound permalink

    You guys are so stupid. A yuprobablti is just about the best mustang ever built, next to the frodomscarptil. Especially if you can get a coertible model with rines power windows and 8 motorverystrong. haveproblemneed made the best whaterpomp of all time. OF ALL TIME! And don’t get me started on whit nestor .tanks. Best .tanks ever. EVER. This car is so minty I could brush my f#*king teeth with it.

    Adores: 20
    • 2010 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘mouth grill’.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 3
      TacoMagic permalink

      Yo CS, Imma let you finish, but the Yuprobablti has the best waterpomp ofalltime, OFALLTIME!

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 3
      mudslicker permalink

      You guys are so stupid vain….you probably think this song is about you….

      Nice post (and minty!) Corey Sound….

      Adores: 2
  11. 2010 May 3
    matt permalink

    This one’s in poor taste — I recognized it as English as a second language.

    “Rines” is the slang Spanish for “rims.” Likewise, although a water pump translates more directly as “bomba de agua,” you’ll often see it as “pomp” here on the border.

    - Matt
    El Paso, TX

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      Innana permalink

      Yep, without those two words it’s a perfectly sound ad.

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 May 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        I now have a plato-crush on you Innana. Ima add you to my stalking list.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 3

          As long as it’s not a Dana Plato-crush…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          Innana permalink

          Oooh, lovely…I’m in with the cool kids now!

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      So salen, yuprobablti, whit nestor .tanks is slang for …?

      What is mustang slang for? I must know these terms, I may have to travel out of town someday. Oh and is ‘lime’ slang for anything?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        ‘Lime’ is slang for ‘minge’ in Elbonian – but don’t take it personally.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          O.O

          SCHOOL’S OUT!!

          Good one, Grampdaddy.

          *goes off to research new logon names*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Is hokay! – I likes limes!

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3

      Dear God I hope you’re just being snarky, because YSaC is pretty non-discriminatory.
      Maybe we should check the IP address of every Craigslister, check their address and make sure they aren’t non-English speakers, immigrants or people with dyslexia or learning disabilities before we post these, mmkay? Would that make you feel better? *pat pat*
      Pretty sure one has to know how to spell to fill out a vehicle registration and title.
      We only discriminate against dumb people.
      It’s not just Americans, bro.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 3
        Lola permalink

        Thank you for saying this better than I could.

        “matt”, aka “Border Corey” is getting Ad0res for this?!? Dude, did anyone else read ElectricBlue’s succinct summary?!?

        Oh, good. Only four more hours before I can drink.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 3

          It had to be significantly shortened to save everyone from Bitchiness Overload.
          And whuddaya mean, 4 more hours? That’s what vodka+water bottle is for!
          *Horrible Realization Time edit:
          Matt=Corey? Corey=Matt?
          Corey Matthews?! NO!!!!!*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          I don’t want to fall asleep at my desk. That’s probably the only thing keeping me from going literally to the bar around the corner and drinking my lunch* after reading this. Usually it’s work that makes me want to do that, but today it’s BorderCorey.

          *I never** do this.

          **Not since college, anyway. A shared pitcher at lunchtime made some of my snoresome profs more interesting.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3

          I understand.
          Welding+alcohol+precariously places pieces of scaffolding over 50ft drydock=
          not fun.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          mudslicker permalink

          Thank you Lola. Just thank you. Thank you.

          *must put flaming eyeballs back into my head—pardon my meltdown*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Meej permalink

          HHNF – took about 3 readthroughs on your comment before I processed that it said “welding” not “wedding.” I was busy thinking, “Who gets married in a drydock?!?”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 3
          Jen permalink

          @ Meej – I totally read wedding until your comment! But I had imagined that wedding = open bar = sneaking off with pilfered booze to nearby drydock to drink without supervision. ‘Cos apparently my most of me is still 15.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        But I canr ead now!

        Oh..that didn’t help my case any, did it?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          Dan permalink

          For what it’s worth, this post came from much, much, much closer to Canada than Mexico.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 4

          HHNF…I am late to the party, but let me just say I love you…really I do…you made such a beautiful argument to BorderCorey’s ridiculousnessiosity that well…you rock baby!

          And, meant to say this before…you’re a welder in a shipyard and that’s freakin’ awesome….I work in the office of a power plant and meet lots of welders…always fascinated (and terrified) of the work they do wayyyy up there.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      Windrose permalink

      Matt, the racist’s Corey. From Texass. Totally different from Texas. I hear. Yup. *nods knowingly and goes off to round up the cattle prods*

      Adores: 1
  12. 2010 May 3
    A. Corey permalink

    Former Yugoslavian states Not.near.the Baltic.*

    *Unless compared to Djibouti.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      Dan permalink

      Oops. Of course, I meant BALKAN, not BALTIC. Sigh. Go back to Go, do not collect $200 dollars.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3
        CapnMac permalink

        I’d blame the web hosting

        I can fax you a $2 bill, if it will help any

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Hell, I can fax you a $200 dollar bill if we’re just throwing money around. Is it okay if I put Elmo on the front?

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        I was taught that ‘cheaters never win’. Life is so cruel..

        A.Corey deserves another roll.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Roll for initiative!

          Sorry, it’s a force of habit.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          I always wanted to develop a character with a skill at cheating–but, how do you calculate the HP?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 4
      Windrose permalink

      Djibouti? Is that near that Australian town, Didjabringabeeralong?

      Adores: 4
  13. 2010 May 3

    This post does absolutely everything to uphold my view of Mustang drivers.
    Both accidents I’ve been in were caused by drivers of mustangs. A 2005 and a 86. They are their own brand of people. They are often seen in groups, called, ‘clubs’ and sometimes converse with drivers of Corvettes, Thunderbirds and Z28s.
    When you don’t have anything nice to say, post it on YSaC.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3

      Oops, almost forgot Camaros.
      *waits for angry mob*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 3
        Lola permalink

        Whaaat???? How dare you denigrate the vehicle that inspired “Bitchin’ Camaro”?!?*

        *Note: I’ve never owned one. Feel free to slag off their owners all you like.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I freely admit to being unable to tell most cars apart. For the most part, I lump them into four groups; “small cars”, “large cars”, “pickup trucks”, and “big-ass SUVs”. If I didn’t have to buy parts for it on occasion, I would probably not be able to tell you what kind of car I drive, other than “that beige one there”.

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 3

        HHNF, why no love for Bumblebee?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 3

          He’s so cool, but he…chose….to be a Camaro.
          I’m disappointed, Bumblebee, saddened and hurt.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          Meej permalink

          Blasphemy. Bumblebee is a VW Bug.
          (I’m in denial about the movies. Sorta like how there’s only one Highlander movie, and only one Matrix film.)

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        That’s OK, HHNF – the newer Camaro’s are all owned by those named Megan, who is just a girl….

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3

          Oooh, that took me a minute. /duh
          In fact, Megan gets owned by the car, if my mind works correctly.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2010 May 3

    *peeks out from under covers*

    I see CatMath…

    A $2300 vehicle, and I use the term loosely, listed for $160.00…look for yourselves.

    Lister – fail.

    CatMath – win.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      Innana permalink

      Hmmmm…not $1600, but 1600.00 mails (e-mails?), and I think for the motor only.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 3

        So, if my catulator doth not fail me,

        44 (cent stamp)
        X
        160 (mails)
        ___
        $70.40 = 5 minty juleps and tuna sammiches for all

        What a great deal for a very nice mustang yuprobablti with v.8 motorverystrong and only a whaterpomp alsohaveeletric problem!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3

          See…HHNF? You totally get it…

          I like my mint juleps minty, very minty indeed.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3

          What the heck is a Mint Julep, anyway?

          **Is too lazy to google it, or even LMGTFY it.**

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3

          Bourbon
          iced sweet tea
          crushed mint leaves
          lemon
          5 shots of awesome
          bad hats

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          A heavenly mixture of fresh spearmint, bourbon, sugar, and water served over ice.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          [booze corey]
          Mint flavored alcoholic drink, starring mint leaves, bourbon, and other stuff I can’t remember. Particularly popular w/r/t the Kentucky Derby, but also available other times/places.
          [/booze (hic!) corey]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3

          ooh, even better with imported absinthe, for the licorice-minty flabors and hallucinations!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          We sound like a bunch of alcoholics now.

          *shrugs*

          Oh, well. Who wants a refill?
          I muddled the mint myself. (Try saying that three times fast.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          *holds out glass*

          (Oliver Twist plea). (Sally Fields awards gush)

          (Papal incantation). (hic)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          Did somebody say Absinthe?!?

          *mods beer bong*

          Hmm, we do sound a bit alcoholic. Truth: I talk about it a lot more wishfully than I get it.*

          *Rather like sex, these days.**

          **Thinking about that makes me want to drink. Hey, look at that, it’s 5:35!

          *unscrews flask*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3
          Jen permalink

          Om nom nom vom…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          If you are not muddling the mint into the sugar, you might as well just get the wally-world fake tea with mint and use the Suntori knock-off of Old Crowe . . .

          A julep is all about fresh mint, caramel color for fine, fine bourbon, and the feel of condensation on a cold glass while taking the air on a warm day.

          it’s one time i do not reccomend Gentleman Jack. Maker’s Mark; Knob Creek, go up from there.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Or you can just do very good vodka from the freezer, on ice, and forget the time wasting with mixing.

          *although I haven’t had anyone muddle my mint in a long time…*

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      DontTryThisAtHome permalink

      Actually, it is a motorverystrong 160.00mails. This particular vehicular propulsion device (vpd) uses the 160.00 mails to increase the refractoratory of the coertible to over 35 ergs. And with duel overhead header cams and an enlarged framistam, this baby canmoveout!

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        ….sold for elebenty sammiches and one ugly chiken stachue (I just can’t get rid of them)

        Will you throw in a haveelectric problem whit nestor.tanks?

        Adores: 1
  15. 2010 May 3
    sarajean80 permalink

    “alsohaveeletric problem”

    Well, they say admitting that you have a problem is the first step, but I fail to see how your relationship with Electrophorus electricus has anything to do with a mustang. Did the horse try to eat an eel?

    Wait, this is the other Mustang, isn’t it? Why the holy heck would you put an electric eel in a car? That could be your problem right there.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3

      Putting an electric eel in a muscle car is usually a sure sign of mastervillainitis. Volcano-base studio, anyone?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 3
        CapnMac permalink

        Was the car parked next to the plastic outdoor bathroom thingie?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          That would be an “alsohavsnakeeletric problem”, which can be easily solved if you have a hopper of mice laying around.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 3
        Lola permalink

        Muscle car is fine. Just don’t let it near the sofa.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          *To clarify: Just don’t let the eel near the sofa.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I wouldn’t want a muscle car near the couch either. Exaust stains are a pain to get out.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3

      It’s just terrible to watch what happens when someone develops an electric problem. It always seems to manifest itself thusly…..

      First, you find them in darkened rooms, flipping the switch on their Batman nightlight on and off, on and off, on and off.

      As the problem worsens, they move to lamps, single pole and then three-way, and learn to flip switches so fast it looks like strobe lighting.

      Finally, they hit bottom, and you find them desperately trying to break into ballfields and stadiums so they can play with the field lights.

      Of course, the absolutely un-recoverable of the bunch will end up in theater, hugging Klieg lights and muttering about the pretty colors.

      It is tragic, tragic indeed.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 May 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter, sir.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 3
        Meej permalink

        … learn to flip switches so fast it looks like strobe lighting…

        The System…
        Is Down.
        The System…
        Is Down.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 3
          Jen permalink

          I’m so glad someone else went there as well!!

          “We had that lightswitch installed so that you could turn the lights on and off!! NOT so that you could throw Lightswitch Raves!!”

          (Lightswitch Raves – a tragic 80s synth cover band?)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3
          LaKitta permalink

          Strong Bad ftw

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      CapnMac permalink

      “eeletric problem”?

      What, yer another animalistic arthithmatic system?
      And with word problems, too?

      I am getting too old to learn yet more methods of ciphering (especialy since it looks like i need to get at least and “inch deep” understanding of .Net whether i want to or not).

      Osler have ‘nuther cerveza, por favor.

      Ooh, Magnificent Migas Mondays to Lime!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        Lime ‘ritas all around to the eligible, imbibing adults.

        Fizzy limeades to the rest of the group. Cheers.

        Mondays suck for a reason! Ha, I’m a pun!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Si, mal de lunes esta no bueno. (or is that mas malo?–my spanglish is excreable)

          But, Monday is precisely why I thought of migas.
          Migas, “scraps” are such great food. Leftovers at their best. Reheat some meat in the comal, then add shreds of tortilla to soak up the juices. Scramble in some eggs and serve with the sides you got. Good Eats–mui sapor y mas rica!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          mudslicker permalink

          I think it’s marsh malo* Capn.

          *meaning bad swamp land

          Adores: 2
  16. 2010 May 3
    TacoMagic permalink

    “Robin! I’ve found Riddlersdevice that is gradually absorbingallthe spaces from Gotham’s sentences.”

    Riddler steps out from behind the machine, “CongratulationsareinorderBatmanIneverexpectedyoutogetthisfarbutnowthatyouhaveImafraiditsoverforyou!”

    “Um, I can’t understandanything you’re saying. Canyou slowit down?”

    “IsaidCongratulationsareinorderBatmanIneverexpectedyoutogetthisfarbutnowthatyouhaveImafraiditsoverforyouPreparetodie!”

    “What? SorryI still can’t understandyou.”

    “Goddammit!”

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 May 3

      Batman FTW.
      Also, is it okay that I saw that all playing out with English subtitles, mouths moving long after voice dubbing is finished, and deep voices? Why is the Riddler wearing a kimono?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 3

        HHNF, I just cleared cookies got a look at your new(ish?) avatar. I’m a happily married pedant and all, but rrowr. That’s gonna get you some dates.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3

          I couldn’t stand my cheap-looking body shot anymore.
          Also, thank you, but I only use dates for propped-box traps.
          And I never accept them from married fruit vendors.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Jen permalink

          Cheap-looking? I think not – many CL posters would totally pay 5$ obo for pics on their ads which looked like that, and that’s WITHOUT the monkey!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Ditto on the cache & cookies.
          A “wow” for HHNF.
          But, sadly, Innana is now but a mere fractal

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3

          *blush*
          Thanks, guys, nice to know I’m not too herf-inducing.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 3
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I still see HHNF’s bunny, so the all the rrowring above is kinda hilarious, kinda gross…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Windrose permalink

          The new avie just cements my girl crush on you, HHNF! *blush*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 4
          CapnMac permalink

          Had to look up “herf” to confirm it was but delusional on your part.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 3
      Lola permalink

      Taco, there’s something very Jasper Fforde-ish in your comment’s style. Adores!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 3
        Innana permalink

        Back off, now; he’s my stalker!

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3
        Camille permalink

        Why did I know you’d be a Fforde ffan, Lola?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          I wasn’t until a year ago (it was a time issue, and yes, I do read quite a lot), but now I’ll be one ’til Tuesday Next. : )

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 4

          Me too, me too! I hate it when the clues to fun stuff on the website were screwy because the American issue of one of his books differed from the UK version. Made me feel like I’d missed out on the joke & got a lesser joke instead.

          And I would totally let a gorilla be a nanny for my 2 kidlets.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 3

      Psh. Riddler’s spacestealingdeviceisnothingcomparedto Joker’s Not.A.Lion. cloning machine, which he will use to set Not.A.Lions on all of Gotham.

      Adores: 1
  17. 2010 May 3
    Ronnie Lou permalink

    A prime candidate for the Bozone Layer. Bozone is defined as a the protective layer around stupid people that keeps them that way. (from Car Talk 5/1/10)

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      mudslicker permalink

      I thought that was duct tape.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 3
        TacoMagic permalink

        Ducttapeducttapeducttapeducttape…

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 3

          SQUEE!!
          Deadpool must be the son of Red Green….

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 3

        I thought duct tape and WD40 fixed everything. I’m so confused.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          It holds my world together. You need a wrench Kelli?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3

          What has a light side and a dark side and binds the universe together?

          DUCT TAPE!

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 3
      Lola permalink

      Car Talk + Red Green = public broadcasting win.

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 May 3
    CapnMac permalink

    Matt having annoyed me to fully [corey] this, and Mr White not having done so yet:
    I have a very nice mustang convertable. You probably would love to have this. It has nice wheels, power windows, ans is equiped with front passenger airbags. It is a V8 engine with 16,000 miles o nthe odometer. It does have problems with the electrical system and waterpump. I would fix these things, but I am too impoverished. Yours for $2300 obo. Thank you, W. Nestor.

    Based on the limited info given, this will be an early 90′s GT, which means the mileage is supposed to be 160,000. Water pump for the GT is going to be about a hundred bucks–but probably a couple hundred more in labor. Fords are very bad to have electrical problems with (said as a Ford owner). Figure on battery, alternator, VR, coil, and computer at a minimum. That’s about $300, $400 more in parts, another buck, buck-and-a-half for labor.

    So, there’s a grand in on top of the tow and the best offer to W. Nestor.

    Better be one heck of a minty shell, beeless, non-zombie, intact, non-leaking ragtop, ride.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      How many tuna sammiches is that?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        72 Tuna Sammiches, unless you want them on toast. On toast, it’s less – like maybe 76 or 77. Of course, if you want lettuce, too, then we have to change the sammich equation.

        Can’t use a catulator for this, catulators eat tuna sammiches – so we’ll have to use a pencil and paper. Darn – pencil’s broken and all I’ve got is plastic wrap.

        *Pulls out green crayon and approaches wallboard* Aarggh – this isn’t gonna work either – green and tuna aren’t a good combination.

        OK, got it – no tuna, but 3200 crunchy peanut butter and gefilte fish sammiches should do it…..

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3
      EclecticBlue permalink

      miles o nthe odometer

      Ouch! Guess that couldn’t be translated all the way ;-)

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 3

      Captain, that was… downright minty. It was more awe-inspiring than the mighty Lacawates Valtrus-Suka. I’d award you one free internet, but I got all the coupons wet. And I had to give all my cereals and Crisco to Jen. So I’m stuck with giving you a red table for sale. You can take it for free.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 3
        CapnMac permalink

        Fine.
        But no more corpses. Still cleaning up after the last wave of Zomb

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 4

      Once owned a Mercury (Ford in another wrapper) that you couldn’t drive in the rain…it stalled..every.single.time. and I couldn’t go anywhere until the electrical dried out. Never did find out what it was, but one day it started itself in the driveway – I freakin’ kid you not I was standing right next to it – and I couldn’t turn it off. Hubby finally pulled the pos battery cable…I got rid of it right after that. We had three teenaged kids at the time…Christine I didn’t need.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 4
        Innana permalink

        Was your car named Christine, per chance?

        Adores: 1
  19. 2010 May 3
    Eddie permalink

    160.00 mails? Oh, it’s a vehicle that is powered by bad news! No feeling like you’re being drunk (“ask a glass of water”), no improbability factors, not even CO2 emissions, just feed it your mail and ta-da! faster than light travel. Not sure people will be happy when you arrive, however.

    On an unrelated note, it would be in poor taste to snark at this comment since English is only my second language.

    There is sarcasm somewhere in this comment. Did you notice?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 3

      Our biggest problem is that English is our farced language.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        And I thought I was going deaf since I couldn’t understand people anymore. Apparently, it’s just a language problem. Guess I’ll have to commune with nature, anyone know how to speak ‘turtle’?

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Ah, someone else who has read of the postal method of FTL.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 3
      christina permalink

      English used to be my first language but YSaC has had me doubting this lately. I’m not kidding, I’ve been wasting time lately playing scrabble against my computer and I find that I’m checking every word with more than four letters in the dictionary before laying the tiles. You may not know this but T-I-G-E-R is a word. It’s in the dictionary and everything. I know, I was shocked too.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        *(Checks Wikipedia)*
        …The tiger (Panthera tigris) is a member of the Felidae family and the largest and possibly most dangerous of the four “big cats” in the genus Panthera. Aside from their great bulk and power, their most recognisable feature is a pattern of dark vertical stripes that overlays near-white to reddish-orange fur, with lighter underparts…”

        Pfft, that sounds totally made up. Everybody knows those big orange cats with the black stripes are Not.A.Lions.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          And really, “big”? My cousin’s rottie is big. E’brybody noes dogs is biggr than cats, so how could a line be dangerous? huh?

          I seen them rugs at Wallmart, theys ain’t big. An, a tigger is no bigger’n a donkey, ainchu seen M bux?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3

          Yeah, I know ri’! Me an’ Bubba Jim ‘us jus’ down’ad’Wal-Mart th’othah day, an’ them got this ornj kitty, wi’ stripes an’ junk, an’ it ain’t bigger’n mah ‘untin’ dog, Roo-fiss. Y’all ‘s crazy, talkin’ ’bout cats’s'bigger’n’ mah Roo-fiss.

          (You know, Hick, when written out in dialect, is eerily similar to Scottish. [Yes, I realize the influence the Sottish immigrants had on the accent and language of the common Redneck, or Homo sapiens appalachiensis])

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Dunno, Carolinian hick may be a unique sort of ilk.
          But, I may be far too familiar with the Ozarkian ‘billy and ignoranus texanis too make a fair taxonomic comparison.

          And beauxes des bayouxes are far enough afield to be neanderthal. (But, the gumbo, aiiieieieieie! rollez mon appetite!)

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 3
      SilvaNoir permalink

      If you could power your car with junk mail, would that be considered recycling? I’d like to be able to get to work and back by stuffing the engine with supermarket flyers and kitschy catalogs.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 4
      tigprincess permalink

      @Eddie – Kudos for the Hitchiker’s references.
      @Dan – warning about your snark comments might have prevented me nearly bursting my operation stitches ….

      Adores: 1
  20. 2010 May 3

    He can’t fix it upmcuz he doesn’t have the money, but will he take a PS3 for it?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 3
      Lola permalink

      He will if you throw in the rare vintage cereals.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        And deliver it in a bee-filled truck.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 3

          But only if you have a red table for sale that he can take for free.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          With the red table that is for sale (but you can take it for free) to eat the cereal off of.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          Lola permalink

          Jinx!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          If you don’t have the REAL!!!!WOOD!!!! chairs, are you ottom?

          Adores: 2
  21. 2010 May 3

    Thank you for continuing to blot out the phone number on the 4% chance that this dunce-ophagus correctly wrote it.

    Adores: 1
  22. 2010 May 3
    CapnMac permalink

    Hey, does “Lee Ann” know that Gospodin Nestor is selling her ice-gold mustang gt?

    Adores: 2
  23. 2010 May 3

    Oh, I’ll say it, since no one else has:

    Wilson Pickett FTW.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 4
      Dan permalink

      I was getting worried that it was getting late and no one had caught that yet.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 4
        Lola permalink

        I always associate it with The Commitments, actually, but yes … the wicked Mr. Pickett did do it first.

        Adores: 1
  24. 2010 May 4
    Windrose permalink

    Not being able to log on at 6:00 am pst put a real cramp in my style. However, getting to punch someone for the first time makes up for it. MandaB, here’s your You Don’t Suck card, and your first Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, El Paso!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 4
      MandaB permalink

      Ahhhhhhh, no better way to start my Tuesday morning than with punch. And punchity punch punch sounds extra punchy! Cheers!

      OW!!!!

      Note to self: punch and a punchity punch punch are two completely different things.

      Thanks, I needed that!

      Adores: 4
  25. 2010 May 4
    queensbee permalink

    my head hurts.

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 May 6
    PostHaste permalink

    Too..funny..comments..can’t..breathe..*gasp*..ahahaha!

    Adores: 0
  27. 2010 May 11
    Cons permalink

    You need to read this one with an eastern European/Slavic accent. It becomes even funnier, while the spelling starts to make sense.

    Adores: 1
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    Adores: 0

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