YSaC, Vol. 759: They still don’t know the words.
Online Communication Experts
Due to our recent rapid online Communication Centre expansion, Online Communication Experts Wanted .
Hummingbirdcode – Journey of a hummingbird – We need hummingbird enthusiasts to communicate with our members in order to share insights about these wonderful and exciting tiny little creatures.
We analyze people’s situations with their perceptions regarding hummingbirds and we’ll provide them with our unique approaches through the HUMMINGBIRDCODE.
If you happen to be a great communicator and have insights in hummingbirds then we would like to hear from you.
Minimum Qualifications:
1) Must have some basic knowledge about hummingbirds
2) A working computer and is set up with DSL
3) Knowledgeable in one of the fields -Tarot Cards, Feng Shui and or other types of readings (Scientology)
4) Must have a valid PayPal account in order to get paidDesired Qualifications in addition to the minimum qualifications:
1) A licensed therapist
2) Worked as a communication specialist in any settingsThere are 3 different ways to apply:
1. Email us: xxxx@archetypalcode.com, a short story about your encounters or insights with hummingbirds(or other spiritual encounters) in addition to a brief summary of your work experiences.
2. Go onto our site and chat online with one of our online experts (please email us to arrange an appointment prior or you can see if you can catch us online)
3. Post a question on our blog site with title: Communication Expert – http://www.humingbirdcode.wordpress.comAgain, you can probably try to catch us either online under user name: hummingbirdcode or click question or log onto: www.archetypalcode.com/contact-us.html for a online chat or : www.archetypalcode.com/membersarea.html for a face to face chat.
Compensation: $12-15 per hour and later on can be negotiated, based on the demands from our customers.
http://www.archetypalcode.com
http://www.humingbirdcode.wordpress.comYou can submit your story in 5 different kinds of languages: English, Spanish, German, Chinese & Japanese.
HummingbirdCode is the new revelation for all your issues – jobs, relationships, health, buessines & family issues. We can communicate in 5 different kinds of languages. They are English, Spanish (Espanol), German (Deutsch), Chinese & Japanese.
You know, I usually comment out URLs, but this is so completely whacked out that I had to leave it all. Please note: they spelled the URL of their own web site wrong … twice. If you for any reason have the urge to go see what on earth they’re talking about — and no, it won’t help it make any sense — remember what a difference an ‘m’ makes.
Apparently hummingbirds make stock predictions and answer tax questions in five different languages. Plus, they are licensed therapists who can read your Tarot cards. I’m hoping they can feng my shui; it’s been un-fenged for a while now, and I haven’t been able to find a hummingbird to have it re-enfengulated.
Thanks, Chandra!
That. Hurt.
Seriously, I now have a hangover and I didn’t drink last night.
Also, am I way off base or is $12-15 an hour for a licensed therapist laughable? I don’t know what kind of thearapy humming birds require, but when I needed to see a physical therapist they charged my insurance about 10 times as much.
Hummingbirds are pretty fast, I bet they can squeeze an hour’s worth of therapy into ten or fifteen minutes.
I’d think the intersection of “knowledgeable about hummingbirds”, “knowledgeable about fortune telling, Feng Shui or Scientology”, “is a licensed therapist”, and “checks Craigslist for jobs” is probably pretty small. But what do I know?
Translation: they bought a second computer and got DSL, finally, not dial-up.
My mother’s a hummingbird enthusiast. She has a good computer connection. This could be ideal for her as a retirement-income suppliment! Oh, wait. She doesn’t speak hummingbird or any other languages (human or otherwise; her German is very rusty) besides English, and believes in science rather than Scientology (they use tarot and feng shui? really? I better run out and get a new Xenu deck!). But, most importantly, she doesn’t speak the unmentioned bird language implied in the ad: Loon.
Loon, I think you just nailed that one.
Also I think DSL in this ad means “Dipsh*t as a Second Language”, as in, you’ll need to speak and understand Dipsh*t to communicate with SparkyCorp.
Are you sure they meant DSL, and not LSD?
I mean, they appear to be worshiping* hummingbirds, after all.
*A word I feel should have two ps**, but Firefox seems to disagree, so I’ll trust it.
**Because without an extra p, it looks like it should be pronounced “war-shy-ping”, and it doesn’t match tapping vs. taping.
Huh, that is strange. *investigates*
According to dictionary.com, it’s one P in the US, two in the UK. Your brain just wants to be British. 🙂
I always get in trouble in my English classes for adding extra u’s to words. I like to spell things correctly.
My brain got English/British children’s books when I was young, some of them rather old. I occasionally still want to default to “humour” and “to-day” when I’m particularly susceptible to expressing early imprinting.
Wor shipping is illegal, something about girls across state lines…
My brain frequently wants to be British, as well. There are a fair number of times that I prefer the UK spelling of a word over the US spelling. I don’t much care about the s-vs-z spellings but so many other things just look more like I pronounce them when I use the imported spellings.
Well, some words just “look” right that way, to.
Not so much “colour,” but “humour”as in mien, not comedy males sense to me.
But, I also subscribe to “mold”=colonies or colinization by fungi; “mould” is to carve or scribe. So milled trim is molding. If it has gotten damp in a warm environment, then the moulding may be molding.
But, I have to admit in some inconsistency in describing creating a cavity in which finished products are cast.
The only spelling I usually prefer is “theatre”, but I think that’s a result of coming from a theatrical family.
Here’s my great-grandmother: http://www.clker.com/clipart-50172.html
Windows Parental Controls seems to think your great grandmother is not a sight for the eyes of minors.
Odd. It’s an old theatre poster from the 1900s, nothing wrong with it. Try Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Historic-Theater-Poster-Spooner-Dramatic/dp/B003HKIW50
Also blocked.
Well, your great-grandmother was pretty foxy.
Thanks Laurel! (I look a lot like her.)
One last try, just for Astro. Found the poster on the Library of Congress’s site (finally…I knew it was there, but Google failed me). If Windows Parental Controls block the Library of Congress, they are officially too strict.
http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/var1993000529/PP/
Okay, that one worked.
Hooray!
I think Bridgete’s massive links stopped me from being able to see YSaC at work today. That made Jen a sad panda. 🙁 But pictures of old-school foxy grandmas make it all ok.*
*That sounded less line-crossy in my head.
Too many massive links for your work, eh, Jen? Sorry. Glad my foxy great-grandma made it okay. 😉
*steps out from the cloak of lurkerdom*
Astro, might want to make sure you can buy silverware. I believe it blocked you from seeing it because of her last name.
*goes back into the darkness*
One of those pics in the montage appears to be of Miss Foxy Great-grandma in her bloomers. Too racy for young eyes, you know.
Somebody hold me.
There’s a hummingbird feeder on the edge of my patio. It gets visited often. Those hummingbirds are not ‘sweet’ little creatures and have chittered and chattered and dive-bombed me whenever I step outside.
They may not want me to give my insights to others. My revelations would not translate well into another language.
I see a parody movie coming:
Sparkfred Hitchcock’s The Hummingbirds
More like Sparkfred E Neuman.
Or perhaps a best-selling, highly controversial novel? The Hummingbird Code?
Yeah, in the end they reveal where clothespin Jeebus’s mother (Mary Clothesdaline) is buried.
Stupid edit button mother=wife
Ham, if your mother=wife, you have more problems than an edit button timing out.
Yeah, I figured it wouldn’t be long till someone figured out my Alabama roots…
Family trees should not have circular branches. Think of the children, the poor flipper footed, slack jawed, webbed handed, duck lipped children.
Who worship hummingbirds…
So you heard the phrase “Sistermama” a lot growing up?
My dad has hummingbird feeders, too. Those little critters can be *nasty*. They didn’t dive-bomb us but each feeder was claimed by a male hummingbird who would attack any other hummingbird that attempted to feed from it.
On the other side of the “insights into hummingbirds”, I was once waiting on my porch early in the morning for a ride to work and a hummingbird decided to come check me out. It hung right in front of my face staring at me for a good 5 seconds before apparently deciding I was NOT a flower and taking off for greener pastures.
Ooooh, it’s the perfect job for me! I once saw a hummingbird.
And I can read tarot cards.
:Picks card at random from deck:
It says, “Sparky is an asshat.”
It’s spooky how spot-on these things can be.
I wish you had predicted that I shouldn’t have taken a sip of coffee before reading your comment, SJ. Caffiene intake via nasal passages is painful!
Yet rapidly effective!
I think Folgers tried an ad campaign along those lines once.
“The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your sinus cavities!”
I don’t think it caught on though.
Hummingbird code: Four parts water to one part sugar, stir until dissolved. Place over a low heat until it boils, allow to boil for one minute. Cool, and fill feeder. Do not use any food coloring and never use honey. Refrigerate any left overs. Do not keep for more than a week. If daytime temps are over 80 degrees (F) change out and clean feeder to prevent spoilage. If ants invade your feeder, use petroleum jelly on the wire just above the feeder.
I broke the code!
I can’t believe you told!!! At least you left off the part about how they remember where the feeders are and will come back year after year to them.
Oh….wait…oops. My bad.
The first rule of Hummingbird Code is: you do not talk about Hummingbird Code.
The second rule of Hummingbird Code is: you do not talk about Hummingbird Code.
The third rule of Hummingbird Code is: if you’re going to talk about Hummingbird Code, you must be able to do so in all five kinds of languages. At the same time.
(And that’s why no one talks about it.) 😉
Windrose, you should open up a BirdWiki*.
*I have a feeling one already exists, though.
Windrose, do you use this as a marinade or as a basting sauce? Also, how many hummingbirds do you need for a family of four?
(OK, I’m sorry, I’ll goto the corner now.)
Grampdaddy, if I weren’t so happy to see you again, I’d be going outside to catch a bunch to research this. I have a recipe from 1443 that requires hummingbird tongues.
*Barely…holding…back…hummer+tongue…comment*
Silly Hammy – Humming is done through the nose, not with the tongue.
What?
SJ is right. That’s why you tell kids in swimming lessons to hum if they don’t want water up their nose.
What?
Well Windrose, is good to be back (again). Let me see, have been home 3 days in the last two weeks. Spent the last 4 days in Milwaukee (don’t tell Taco) tearing out walls, replacing walls, and doing fun electrical stuff in #2 daughter’s (by age, not by any other measure) newly purchased, much older home. 87+degrees, high humidity, no air-conditioning, and no breeze. Much fun was had by all….
*Hands HamCan some duct tape*
This will work for hands and mouth. Don’t know what to do about brain.
Grampdaddy, I’m feeling your old house pain. As I type this, I am covered in sweat and sawdust, enjoying the “cool” 90 degree breeze on my porch. Why my husband decided to refinish the floors in August (AC has to be off lest we clog the filter) is beyond me.
Hey, me too! (with the old house deal…) Though, we are kinda halfway through giving up… We really need to attach baseboards and paint the basement, so MiniEB can be in his room, and then we can start setting up our office and, you know, NOT have half of our belongings in the garage.
Sir, I believe you would need an ass-ton. This is two butt-loads
more than a metric tonne (To use the vernacular.).
I believe it depends on if you are using the hummingbirds as the main course or as whore-s’dover….
The Whores of Dover?
I thought all they had there was white cliffs…
When I was growing up my dad called the Whores Ovaries…
(Yup, my twisted sense of humor started early)
My mother-in-law called them hoardy oars.
We said “oar de voors” with our best Swedish Chef accents.
[poetry corey] In college, I read the poem “Dover Beach” and “Dover Bitch” to compare. Check out “Dover Bitch”, it’s an interesting bit of poetry. [/corey]
Oh, also, my mom and I often said “whores d’overs” but we tended to prefer “mercy buckets”.
Murky buckup? Seafood plate. (Local variants.)
According to my Mom, she had a boyfriend in high school who tried to help her with her French homework and pronounced the traditional thank you to a gentleman as “Mercy buckets, mister monster.”
My mom always calls them horses-doovers. I made the mistake of using the term…in a business setting once….sigh…
Umm… Are hummingbirds now considered spirits?
I should probably stop hanging out by the feeder
with the tennis racket then. I may have sent Aunt Susan
over the rhododendron.
You haven’t heard of Smirnoff Hummingbird?
Mmmmm, Hummitinis…they are served in a thimble.
Oooh, I can fit a lot in my flask then!
Ahh, the Lola flask…one of my favorite items.
Pardon me, I had a lot of wine and beer at the choir picnic.
*breaks into song*
Wine and beer!
To handcrafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather to dildos to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation, mucho masturbation
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it’s new
To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
Lenny Bruce; Langston Hughes; TO THE STAGE!
To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda too
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em!
La vie bohème!
Elebenty Brazillian points if you know, WITHOUT looking it up, what musical that’s from.
I’m guessing Rent, based soley on the juxtaposition of leather strap-ons and Maya Angelou.
It’s Rent. I just saw that (on television) about 3 months ago, so I didn’t need to look it up.
Good work!
It was my favorite musical in high school. The movie was somewhat disappointing though.
It may just be sleep-deprivation-induced hysteria, but ” I may have sent Aunt Susan
over the rhododendron” still has me in fits ten minutes later… It’s so Wildean!
from their website (http://archetypalcode.com/membersarea.html):
PAY OPTIONS – A 30 MINUTE-SESSION – $19, ONE HOUR SESSION – $39, ONE HOUR & HALF – $57.
do the math….
and then for whatever reason it says ONE HAPPY HOUR above the buy now button…….
$19 for a 30 minute hummer seems like a pretty good deal to me…
What?
I shouldn’t have laughed….. but I did.
Just don’t go into debt, Hammie.
Tears! Tears from laughing! So wrong. Can’t stop laughing.
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they need the money!
I’m guessing they hum the Star Spangled Banner?
*Lalala thinking about baseball*
For such little birds, they’re greedy buggers.
Uh, you get reduced-price drinks/drink specials if you order an hour?
I suspect the drinks may be necessary in order for the hummingbirds/their advice to make sense to you.
No thanks, happy hour ’round here usually costs me about $10 in beers and all the greasy bar food I can eat.
Although if HamCan’s theory is correct, that’s probably a good price.
Until sometimes like, 2 years ago, I had no idea what Happy Hour actually meant, and went around assuming it was something dirty. Then I had it explained to me what it actually was, and certain things on TV suddenly made a lot more sense.
*sometimes should read something
Sometimes, I should read something.
Sometimes, I should. Read something!
I hate the world nowadays–you don’t understand something so you automatically assume it’s dirty. Algebra class was like a porn movie.
I never thought of it that way … might have done better* if I’d thought of it as porn.
*Took algebra twice.**
**Yes, really. Not that it matters at this point, fortunately.
I took Algebra twice as well.
I took Algebra twice, too. Once in 1972 and again in 2008. Neither time did I think of pron. Makes me wonder if I would have gotten a higher grade had I made the connection.
Nice, I am in good company then.
*waves to other YSACers in remedial algebra class*
Algebra. 8) They wouldn’t let me in the door. The closest I got was blinking at my kids’ homework, and mumbling, “Go ask Dad.”
I managed to pass algebra (or as we called it, Course I), how, I know not. First year of college I tested out of basic math classes (again, unexplainable) so my advisor suggested algebra. I went to class exactly twice before switching to a class affectionately called “Math for English Majors.” Yes, it was as pointless as it sounds, My final consisted of an oral report on how fast food restaurants use statistical data to plan stock with a diorama because visual aids were bonus points. The diorama was of a Subway with a Jean Luc Picard action figure dressed in a teeny tiny green polo and visor. Easiest A ever.
Oh, I hope when I get to college there will be a “Math for Music Majors” course.
The final exam could be counting to four.
:whispers: I was good at math.
*twiddles thumbs*
Astro, when you go to college, look for a logic course. That’s what all the music majors took to get their math credits, they said it’s fantasmagorically easy. I took Social Stats because it was already a requirement for Sociology majors and it counted as a math class.
What? Just because I was good at math doesn’t mean I enjoyed it.
Oh, I’m apparently good at math. It is the paying attention part I struggle with.
Oh, then a logic class should be perfect. Most musicians are actually good at math, but don’t want to pay attention. 😉
I took algebra for three straight years, but that was in 2.5 different school systems in different states, and one of those times was “advanced” algebra, which made the rest downhill, at least until college with Linear Algebra.
You are thinking of “Happy Ending.”
This ad just reminded me of something a friend in college told me: Hummingbirds are the only animal, besides humans, that experiences an orgasm during sex. I’ve never entertained the idea of looking this up to see if it is fact.
Although considering, as Sarajean mentioned above, that hummingbirds are fast, this shoule me ammended to say that this only applies to male hummingbirds.
Even though they are fast, they still might be thorough.
What about dolphins? They’re supposed to be the only other animal that has sex for pleasure. Doesn’t it therefore follow that they have orgasms?
Why do you think Ranger Porter Ricks kept Flipper around…
*Line, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Bridgete, I do recall that once upon a time, they may have thought that only dolphins had sex for pleasure besides humans but that theory’s pretty much been exploded. They are now finding that more mammals seem to do so than don’t.
The birds and the bees do it…and I’m not going finish that song.
Aha! Thanks Moira. Although that still is proof for the idea that more animals besides humans and hummingbirds have orgasms…since it still follows that if an animal is capable of orgasm, that would be enjoyable and lead to more sex purely for pleasure, as opposed to merely procreation.
You haven’t seen the turtle orgasm on YouTube? Pretty sure your friend was dead wrong.
I hear turtles like it slow.
Please see: “I never entertained the idea of looking this up.”
There are some lines I will not cross, even for science.
*and please disregard my atrocious typos in comment above.
*spares christina the trouble* Pretty much all the great apes do, most particularly bonobos.
*pats line on head, tells it to be good while I’m away* Male gorillas are only endowed with an average of 2″ at full erection. Female gorillas have accordingly developed an alternative use for bananas. I am not making this up, my legally-married observed it at a zoo during a band trip. After the alternative use is finished, one may then enjoy the regular function.
BRAIN BLEACH SPA: NOW OPEN!
**signs up for full-time membership.**
Bleach steam and sauna facilities?
EDIT: Sodium hypochlorite BP 101°C
Vaporized brainbleach anyone? Really fast-acting!
“Pretty much” here = all the ones they’ve bothered to observe. And I’m trying to use Whirlwitch here to be consistent with everywhere else. My legal identity needs to be separate from my regular one for very non-entertaining reasons. So let’s just keep that other name our little secret, ‘mkay?
What name? 😉
Well, if all the apes have orgasms, I’m pretty sure Chimp orgasms must not be very exciting…for the ladies, that is. I’ve seen chimp sex at the zoo*, there’s not much time for anything.
*I took a chimpanzee behavior class for a science credit in undergrad…we had to go watch the chimps at the zoo for a certain number of hours, it was almost inevitable that I’d catch a bit of mating.
I think I read somewhere that that’s basically what inspired the Beatles song Why Don’t We Do it in the Road?.
Apparently, one monkey jumped on another in the middle of the road, had a roll in the hay for about 5 seconds, jumped off, and the girl monkey calmly dusted herself off and went about her business like nothing had happened.
*will never look at bananas the same way again, ever*
*will never look at male gorillas the same way again, ever. (without snickering and feeling superior)*
WW, I can delete that comment if you would like, and you can repost the information under the correct name. Just let me know, or drmk or Dan. 8)
IF ($19.$38.$57) THEN
PRINT *, ‘$19 client gets .5 answer.’
STOP
END IF
PRINT *, ‘Your 30 minutes is up?’
READ *, $38
IF ($19.$38.0) THEN
PRINT *, ‘$38 must consult L. Ron Hubbard.’
STOP
END IF
PRINT *, ‘The tarot card says, YES, ‘ and’, NO, ‘ is’, Feng Shui(German, Spanish), ‘.’
STOP
END
FUNCTION HUMMINGBIRD($$, BS)
BS = $$
$$ = BS
1 IF ($$.BS.0) THEN
CLIENT = NO BS
BS = $$$
$$$ = $57(CATMATH, BS)
GOTO 1
END IF
BANKACCOUNT = $00
RETURN
END
“HummingbirdCode is pleased to announce that the members will have the privilege to ask one free tax question which will be quanswered by our certified tax consultant.”
I think promising to “quanswer” your question releases them from liability. It’s like saying you’re a quliscenced qutherapist.
They will quack your answer to you. If you can’t understand it,
they aren’t liable.
Time to go grocery shopping. I’m starting to think I’m clever.
Quack!
That will be $150.
$150 is a pretty typical price per lawyer word* 🙂
*teasing
I know, that’s why I picked that amount. 😉
Is this the job for me? Let’s see…
I have minimum qualifications!
I know they are birds and they like sweet stuff. Oh and I learned from Windrose that they hum for money.
I have a working computer but no DSL…I have some LSD, that’s almost the same right?*
I know how to read a thermometer, that’s a type of reading, right?
Darn, I only have PalPal (with benefits) and I thought this was my dream job**
*This
may not beis not true.** This isn’t true either.
“HummingbirdCode is the new revelation for all your issues – jobs, relationships, health, buessines & family issues.”
(I’m thinking speeling isn’t one of them)
Hey, has anyone called Tom Cruise about this yet? All the topics he’s an expert on!
…or he thinks he’s an expert on!
The ad I’m getting on the sidebar today cracked me up when I saw it.
http://i33.tinypic.com/x0qrko.jpg
I’m guessing humming birds would be in the 69th dimension…
(Yes, I have a one track mind today)
Hammy, go to your room. Alone.
Actually, he might be better served by having to stay under surveillance. With where his mind is today, I’m not sure a time-out would be punishment.
I’ll go sit in the corner.
Good thinking Astro, though I don’t want to be the one watching the surveillance tape.
Dimension jumping? Do they know what kind of power that takes? Are they trying to destroy the universe?
Aren’t you?
Shhhh, I’m keeping that on the down-low.
Many doors for LH.
I can’t *quite* name the reference but I *know* it’s a quote from something I enjoy.
My ad is telling me to fly to the 17th Angel Festival. It has an angel blowing a trumpet surrounded by bunnies. I’m not entirely sure why bunnies are relevant.
Mine’s a bit different:
“Discover How To Break Free From The Matrix And The Bonds Of Your Conscious Mind In This FREE Tell-All Report That Will Lead You Deeper Down The Rabbit Hole, Allowing You To Create Your Desired Reality Now”
There be bunnies in the matrix…
I see Google AdSense is wearing a tin foil hat today.
Sorry, Moira, that quote is my own 😛
But the concept is taken from stuff I enjoy. Like
endless chaosmultiple science-fiction programmes.Bunnies, bunnies, it could be bunnies!
I’m getting an ad for the Confucius Institute. It must be working; I’m thoroughly confused.
Also, elebenty doors to EB for the Buffy quote.
I’m having a snarkjam.
I want to snark about the weirdness of a licensed therapist and communication specialist who ALSO does readings and believes that hummingbirds are oracular animals. I have a feeling that an “unrealistic expectations” tag would not be out of place here.
I want to snark about the “5 different kinds of languages” that they use. Sparky, those aren’t *kinds* of languages, they are LANGUAGES. If you are going to talk about kinds, you are then getting into something along the lines of finno-ugric vs indo-european vs nilo-saharan vs sinitic, etc.
And, naturally, I want to snark about someone asking for a communications specialist when they, themselves, are unable to write a nice, clear, straightforward sentence.
Instead, I am simply going to shake my head and go have a bagel.
Snarkjam= word o’ the day
Hummingbird Snarkjam= band name?
I vote yes!
I agree!
Not only is it a shoo-in for word of the day, but also apparently for food of the day since my ad is for real food from kitchendaily. Way to multi-task a word, Moira!
Hummingbird snarkjam with cream cheese. On a bagel. It’s what’ s for breakfast!
Well, to [corey] that a tad more, there are three “kinds” of Chinese, too: Han, Cantonese, and Mandarin. While they are similar, it is in the same way that Portuguese is similar to Spanish.
Given that this appears to be an online evolution, and not a phone confab, the issue of characters will be important, too, as Han, and Cantonese use their own set of characters, Mandarin uses two sets, one a “simplified” set.
Hey, they said Japanese, too (and did not include “(Nihongo)” to show us how clever they are about language names. Hmm, Hirigama, Kanji and Romanji are used to write Japanese.
I am told that native speakers of Nihong find reading romanji as irksome as an English speaker reading in phonetic spelling. If one uses hirigama, it is a sounds-like sort of “spelling” which has the annoying effect of writing everything in homophones, which leaves a given meaning up for grabs.
Like: “You have grate day will”–does that mean you will be shredded, or may be scrubbed against tiny scalloped knives later? Or will it be your day was exemplary yesterday? Or “Tie bow bow bow.” Ok, lash archery items to a branch in supplication? Matching kow-tow to archery limb?
Aieieieieie, squeeze me another hummertini . . .
[/corey]
*puts up forcefield*
Okay, Windrose, I’m ready. Hit me.
Yay!
8) Wait for it! Much too early in the day.
Well, since is seemed apt, here’s an I Ching reading I did for them (via facade.com):
What should hummingbirdcode expect?
The present is embodied in Hexagram 17 – Sui (Following): There will be great progress and success, but one must be firm and correct. There will then be no error.
The topmost line, divided, shows us sincerity firmly held and clung to, and bound fast. We see the king with it presenting his offerings on the western mountain.
The situation is evolving slowly, and Yang (the active masculine force) is gaining ground.
The future is embodied in Hexagram 25 – Wu Wang (The Unexpected): Great progress and success is indicated, while there will be advantage in being firm and correct. If he or his action be not correct, he will fall into errors, and it will not be advantageous for him to move in any direction.
Uh oh, incorrect action and he will fall into errors? Yur dumed dood! Must be sparkly hoverers which means they are vampires!
Hmmm, but if I am firm and correct, will there then be no error and the result will be great progress and success?
Only if you follow the hummingbird code . . .
“Only when you can snatch the honeysuckle from my hand
will you be ready, Grasshopper.”
Consulted my geomancer’s compass, and honeysuckle is to only be planted by the zombie winter bagel or else vintage crisco will gush on gorgorath in your basement and he’ll eat all your vintage cereals.
Ok, drawing the next card
it’s the $5 for 1, 2 for $12 of Coins, reversed
Actions taken will not be speeled correctly. The sense will cause the ordinary folk around and nearby severe headaches. Your palpal account will be used for “benefits” but not mutual ones. This is not your lucky day.
Oh, the second card is the King of Stripes Cats
You will call a tiger a lion. Revolting pheasants will club you senseless for your idiocy. The sense of large cats rubbed incorrectly while wearing wool socks in winter while doused in a teriyaki marinade. This is our lucky day.
I’m thinking of submitting my short story:
On one of the hottest days of summer, I was sitting outside under the awning while fanning myself with a folded up USA Today newspaper. Suddenly, this red-throated hummingbird appeared in front of my eyes. He flew to the tree, then back to me, then to the feeder, then to the tree and came back to hover like a strange flying saucer in front of me. I could tell the bird was thirsty, and the buzzing of it’s wings seemed to say, “Fill the feeder, you lazy human.”
So I went inside and got my Feng Shui books, and discovered that I had placed the feeder in the wrong location of the yard. So I moved the feeder to the north side, and ever since then every hummingbird in the county has come to me to have their feathers read. Strange thing is they all have the same astrological sign and thus the same fate awaits them…death by sliding glass door on the north side of my house.*
*no hummingbirds were harmed in the telling of this story
Completely off topic: The very best part of re-reading older posts is seeing Time Traveling TacoMagic beckoning commenters past into the present.
Also to Meredith: Please refer back to Vol: 401 and let us know if you ever went through with your plan. I seriously need to know!
Maybe it’s the two beers I drank before driving home last night, or the slight concussion from the completely non-DUI-related car accident, but this feels like a lot of gibberish to me…
I’m available to be your witness in court, Kae.
Thanks…I’d qive you a hundred bucks, but I left it in my boxers.
Is anyone else having “400 Bad request” screens any time they try to post? I have cleared everything, but it is persisting. Just wondering.
I was until my resident IT guy upgraded my Java. He makes good coffee! Oh, but that had nothing to do with the Java. Don’t know why it improved the reception here. Until that happened, I was automatically switching from Firefox to IE to be able to post.
In the logic of such things, it appears now to be cooperating since I complained. Well, whatever it takes …
Jackie: If you show up today, ‘grats for getting something posted at LFMF! (Not that I stalk YSaC people or anything) (stalkity stalkity stalk)
OT: My commenting may be reduced for the next few days. I broke a nail earlier today, in the worst way — it tore into the cuticle, it was bleeding everywhere, etc. It’s the nail on my middle finger, so it’s not an easy one to just leave out of my typing rhythm until it heals. I’ll be here and I’ll at least give some doors where necessary, and I’ll comment when I can’t resist adding to the conversation (see above) but it’s pretty painful so you won’t see a lot of me until it heals. ♥
I’ll pray to my kitchen gods to heal you. I keep them on my red table.
I never knew breaking nails could be that serious.
**Reminds self not to make fun of girls for worrying about breaking nails anymore.**
Thanks Laurel.
Yep, Astro, it’s not just vanity. I mean, in a way it still is, because that’s why we keep them long. But once we’ve made that choice, we do have to be careful. I tore about 1/8 of an inch into the cuticle, and I don’t even keep my nails all that long.
Now that you know, girls will love you for not making fun of them for their worries over breaking a nail.
Ouch!! I feel for you baby. Hope it feels better soon.
As to the ad, I don’t speak hummingbird, but have been known to have odd communication with squirrels. I was also in a relationship with a Scientologist once. I wonder if that would count as experience. Believe me it was an experience for me. And not one I ever wish to repeat.
Mommy! ♥
You dated a scientologist? I guess I still don’t know everything. 😉
Bridgete’s mom delurked! Hi, kc! Love the avvie. Please come around more often!
As I posted earlier, “Vuja De: The feeling you never want to do
that again”. Welcome Aboard! Lefthanded or Redhead? Or both?
Sorry Smedley, she’s neither. But still fabulous. ♥
No wrap-up today, folks, sorry. I got to do lots of yard work, and moved books, and cleaned bird cages. I am pooped! So one little punch, then off to night night land. Laurelhach, step forward and assume the position. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Milwaukee!
*retains force-field*
This is still going to hurt…
Did not one person go to the misspelled link in the post? I did and what I saw I do not want anyone else to see. This is your warning to seriously not go to the misspelled version. But I’m shocked that these comments aren’t riddled with opinions on that image. *shudder* Small mercies, I guess.