YSaC, Vol. 763: Ceiling cat would love this, too.

2010 August 19

ball of sorrond wrap – $10


This Is A Ball Of Sorrond Wrap, Its Good For Arts And Crafts But Not Like To Unwrap Email Me At [Email Address] To Get The Address And I Could Lower The Price Im Just Trying To Raise Money For School Shopping!

Yea, and the ball of plastic wrap was offered to the glowing ceiling god, and the glowing ceiling god was appeased. And thus the world was provided with school supplies for all eternity, amen.

Bees be upon you.

Thanks for the submission, Ket!

274 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 August 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Didn’t this same person write “Sunday in the Park With George”?

    It’s a wrap….

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      *waving at Gramps*

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 19

      Well, Mr. Grampdaddy’s here. Line not crossed yet? OK, Abominable Snowmans’ left teste?

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 19
        Windrose permalink

        Smedley, you are feeling teste today? Watch it, don’t trip on that line!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19

          “And the line ran away with the spoo-”

          What?

          Adores: 3
  2. 2010 August 19
    mudslicker permalink

    Probably left over from someone’s Science project.

    Fig. 1 portrays Uranus’ moon Sorrond in its proximity to the sun.
    Fig. 2 portrays Sorrond’s trajectory as a space impact causes it to come hurtling toward the earth.

    Impact date: December 21, 2012 — unless Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi can save the day.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 19
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Needs to have a female co-star – how about Susan Sorrond-on?

      [Corey question] – Susan has balls? [/Corey]

      Adores: 14
      • 2010 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        Excellent choice! Better than Liv Tyler-sorrond. Doesn’t quite flow off the tongue does it?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I think responding to that correctly would probably cross the line way too early…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Yeah, LimeLolly would have a shit fit. Hehe…

          (j/k LL)

          ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Mudsy… you were peeking!

          I try to have my s*fits in private, thank you very much.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Hehe…oh LL, it was early in the day. I hadn’t had my slice of java yet. Besides, it was Gramps fault. He started it.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        [Corey question] โ€“ Susan has balls? [/Corey]

        [matt] Damn straight she does!!!! So does Sigsorrondy Weaver!! [/matt]

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          My Sigouney Weaveable has yarn balls!

          Adores: 16
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          OOoh, my 24 hr. YSaC OCD moment has come full circle!

          Thanks Bianchi. A day without medication is like a day without…er, um….sunshine???

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      CapnMac permalink

      Wouldn’t Willis, Affleck, Buscemi cause the day?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        CapnMac permalink

        Ok, second day in a row, sending a comment gets the comment added, but then gets me a 400 error and no further access on FF.
        Quite annoying.
        Some self-inflicted, my IE has been neglected for not being needed and has “grown” some annoying toolbars to be edited away.
        Harumph.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s called Dharma, Cappy. You got points deducted for being a smart arse.

          ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          Dharma?
          Dharma is translated as “duty” or “right action.”

          This always bothered me as the name of some chick on a sitcom.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Meej permalink

          “Hello, Greg’s pants, he’s not in them right now.”
          One of my favorite lines from an otherwise-mediocre sitcom, and in its first episode no less.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          Laurelhach permalink

          DHARMA could also be the Department of Heuristics and Research for its Material Applications. What a gas!

          Adores: 0
  3. 2010 August 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Good Morning Mudsy!

    *Waves back, throws a kiss*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      Awww shucks. Right back atcha’.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        TacoMagic permalink

        Get a room you two!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Don’t you mean sorrond yourselves in a room?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          *throws Taco a kiss*

          We were going to, but Bacontini is in there with some laydee and I don’t think he’s got his FOLs on. I was expecting calassay and aducacted from him but was sorely disappointed when I saw his pork loin hanging out there for all to see. I need a drink now but please don’t make it a bacontini *shudder*.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          MandaB permalink

          Bacon-wrapped meat just took on a completely different meaning in my mind.

          *waves goodbye to the line*

          Brain bleach and a cocktail drink for me too, please!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 19
          Bacontini permalink

          *Does the sexy Bacontini dance, letting his side of meat flap in the wind a bit.*

          Bacontini always bring de calassay. He was a Chip n’ Dale Rescue Ranger dancer in his youth so he know all de moves. De bacon swizzle stick, de bone in pork roaster, de dry rub, de saucy simmer, and de Texas big beef brisket bounce.

          Yes, Bacontini is here for all your enjoyment, but especially de enjoyment of de ladies. Bacontini not afraid of de Full Monte either… mostly as de Bacontini not wear clothing anyway.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 August 19
          Grampdaddy permalink

          But why is the Bacontini always hanging limp over the side? Perhaps the Bacontini is not a good, stiff drink?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini always taught dat it bad form to have crispy bacon when stripping for de ladies.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          I guess they don’t call them bacon strips for nothing then.

          *the term ‘dry rub’ somehow makes me think of poo-prisms*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          **winks at Grampdaddy, Mudsy, Taco, Bacontini, Manda, and Archy**

          Teehee.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Bacontini permalink

          Yay! Bacontini’s spooning partner is here!

          *Pulls out a pair of musical spoons*

          Time to rock out, Jug Band style!

          What? Why you all look at Bacontini like dat? Bacontini love spooning wit Mr. Winkey.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          :shudder:

          I want to forget I ever read that. I think I’ll head over to the Cheezburger site and kill a few hundred brain cells. Hopefully the one that holds that image will be among them.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’ll save you the trouble. Here I’ll copy and paste the worst one I can find from today.

          …searching…

          Aha!

          “Ohai saaski !! Ai left n ansa bak awn teh larst LOL :)!!”

          There you go.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          Is it just me, or do they all sound like they were written by JarJar Binks?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          Professor Dumbledore permalink

          Alas, in all my years, I have never been so flabbergasted at such a display of total and utter…

          **head falls onto desk as drool leaks from his mouth and his eyes take on a glazed look as he begins seizing.**

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          You should try one of the many vast Farmville forums instead. They tend to blather endlessly about the color of their cows, but for the most part the posts are at least semi-literate.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          How?

          Now, brown cow!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          EclecticBlue permalink

          โ€œOhai saaski !! Ai left n ansa bak awn teh larst LOL ๐Ÿ™‚ !!โ€

          Uhm. I think I can parse that. Oh dear…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Okay…Mr. Winkey has got to be ISAAC!!!* We haven’t seen him lately have we? Coincidence? I think not.

          *he’s a great fall guy

          *got the winkey creepys*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Well no four shore if Mr. Winky shows up to korrect this poste.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          [corey-ish] SJ, the quality of LOLspeak has gone down significantly in recent years as the phenomenon has drawn in more and more of the populace. Once upon a time, it was only the longer words that suffered “creative spelling” with an occasional but consistent consonant substitution to indicate a mouth and teeth shaped differently than humans’ vocal apparatus.

          However, as popularity has risen, there has been an unacknowledged push to make the pronouncements more and more obscure.

          My particular peeve is the ones that sound like baby-talk with stupid lisps.
          Baby-talk == LOLspeak
          [/corey-ish]

          I felt this needed tags but it wasn’t indignant enough for a matt and because it’s not factual, it’s not actually a corey. ๐Ÿ™

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Moira, the only thing that scares me is not that they write that way in the comments; but that a person can run int of a few who actually talk that way (some, only to the pets; others to all and sundry).

          I’ve been in architecture and design all my life. It is a trade that requires a person to have skills in communication. To take words and spoken desires (and tomes of magazine and newspaper clippings) and convert them into an image in one’s own head. To make that image graphic, and understandable back to the client. And from then, communicable to the poepl who will make that image, that communication, real, built from nothingness to substance.

          It’s a noble and engaging trade, encompassing both skill and science (where the junior barraters have not slaughtered its soul in legally binding legalese).

          Which makes meeting with people who unabashedly use “nom” as a noun for food and as a verb for the ingestion of same.

          Makes me weep, it does. To feel as if taken up by a Danish Prince and talked over to dear Horatio in the fully past tense, with both trade and language long gone past. but without the mercy of a grave to still hot blood and lips that would discourse, discover, declaim & illuminate still.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          Oddly, Cap’n, “nom” is one of the words I do like out of that movement. It’s nicely onomatopaeic and so I can forgive it. Also, it is printed on some corrugated cardboard shipping boxes and that makes me giggle.

          I generally restrict its use to IMs with a supremely silly friend of mine, though. I don’t believe I have uttered it more than twice.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 20
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, and the way I was raised, one speaks to both pets and children in intelligent speach, lest they learn jibberish. Which saves a person from having to remember which jibberish is what.

          Although I must admit to reading TS Eliot to my cat. But, he’s heard me read Burns, and Kipling, too.

          I probably should not have used “nom” for an example, it is no doubt euphonious in intent and use. It merely fit my rant without having to actually parse jibberish to find a similar example of anarchic jibberish passing for argot over there.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 20

          I got Dan a cake for his birthday a couple of years ago and had the designer write “Nom nom nom” on the cake.

          She looked at me funny, made me write it out for her, and then sign my name to it to swear that that was actually what I wanted the cake to say.

          It was either that or the Portal cake, and I didn’t leave enough time to request the Portal cake.

          Adores: 6
  4. 2010 August 19
    sarajean80 permalink

    This has the makings of the best gag gift ever.

    Victim – “Ummm…What is it?”

    Me – “Unwrap it and find out.”

    :four hours later:

    Victim – :surrounded by piles of “sorrond” wrap: “What the hell is in here?”

    Me – “I have no idea, I bought it off CraigsList. Smile!” :click:

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      Me โ€“ โ€œI have no idea, I bought it off CraigsList. Isn’t that a beautiful diamond? Smile!โ€

      Victim – “WHAT diamond?!?!

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 August 19
        sarajean80 permalink

        Oooh, even better!

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      Mindfield permalink

      You fool! You’ve just unwrapped a big flaming eye! Now the hair on the nape of my neck will NEVER settle down!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        Lola permalink

        Big flaming eye? Crap, here come the Nazgul to do its bidding. I hate when that happens.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 19
      CapnMac permalink

      Ah, you meant a gift as a jape or jocularity;
      a gift that prevented speach or impeded breathing seemed self-evedent
      (if not in need of explicit warning labels)

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        sarajean80 permalink

        I’m sure once it got whittled down to a manageable size it could be both.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 19
      Usually-Lurking Janett permalink

      I was wondering when someone would bring up the fact that something interesting could be inside that big ball of wrap! I mean, honestly – the first thing I thought of…was that maybe someone made a..er…um…’donation’ and then wrapped it up. You know…’d-o-n-a-t-i-o-n’…

      Is there something wrong with me if I think the only possible worthy thing to receive inside a ball of plastic wrap is some…’goo’…or is there something wrong with me cause I won’t say it out loud…

      ugh. Shouldn’t have had that last chicken croquet.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        Moira permalink

        S’okay. Not all of us are as comfy blatantly crossing the line as others. I am happy within my zone of clinical and proper words and generally less so with innuendo and slang. Comes from growing up surrounded by docs and the like.

        That said, ewwwww. Nasty! ๐Ÿ˜€
        Funny as heck, though.

        Someone who would be interested in seeing if they could get $10 for a ball of cling wrap could CERTAINLY be be someone who would see if they could get $10 for a ball of cling wrap previously used as a prophylactic.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19

        Creamy nougat center?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          If it’s a nougat texture…I believe you really should go see a doctor…. 8)

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 20
        sarajean80 permalink

        It would be like the Tootsie Roll Pop from hell.

        How many licks would it take to get to the center? The world may never know.

        Let’s hope not.

        Adores: 2
  5. 2010 August 19
    Grampdaddy permalink

    Fig. 1 portrays Uranusโ€™ moon Sorrond in its proximity to the sun.

    OK, I tried to contain myself, but I just can’t: Does Uranus have a Sorrond? Is it Sorrond-Sound? With Dolby?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      It’s a Science PROJECT Gramps! You’re overthinking it. Those wacky kids make up stuff all the time.

      You’re thinking of Uranus’ OTHER moon—Bose.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 19
        TacoMagic permalink

        Damn it Mudsy, you got me all excited there for a minute. I read your line as:

        “You’re thinking of Uranus’ OTHER moon-Base.”

        Uranus has a moon base! Oh Gods, I want to move to Sorrond now! *Jumps into his space suitยน*

        ยนMight actually be the squirrel costume.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Lola permalink

          “All Uranus Base are belong to us.”

          (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          The tunnel you have to take to get to the underground base in uranus is just unpleasant.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Taco, Uranus does have a moon base but that one’s made of bubble wrap.

          Somehow you can’t resist the urge of jumping up and down when you’re visiting.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          [Uranian corey] A moon base on Titania or Ariel would make for interesting jumping up, but not necessarily down, as they are about 1/12 G. Which is 80-something dm/sec/sec, or 30ยฑ”/sec/sec.

          Moonbase would be necessary unless one wanted to find the displacement depth in the Uranian atmosphere where the methane was functionally solid.

          Which would be an unique place to be, no matter what. Uranus’ axis is tilted almost to the ecliptic, the polar ends of the planet spend 42 years in either light or darkness i nthe 84 yeas orbit around the Sun. And, the magnetosphere is not aligned to the axis of the planet, skewed off at an odd angle.

          A moonbase on Titania or Ariel would need some stout magnetic shielding, which would be a shame as the corona and aurora would likely be a sight to see–even better than attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

          [/corey]

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 19

          Have an invisible door for the Bladerunner quote, Cap’n! ๐Ÿ™‚
          *Probably would have been faster if I just said “BR FTW!” but I felt that Cap’n deserved a slightly more verbose reply ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Can you use it with the Technics turntable for scratching?

        (Scratching Uranus — never mind…)

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Only if you have an ortofon needle stylist/slylist can you do “scratchy” tricks Gramps.

          I’ve got a used one for $100; but unfortunately new one’s are only available for $60.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Mudsy, it CAN’T be a science project – it’s got no M & M’s glued to it.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 19

          I’m pretty sure the chemicals ingredients in M&M shells are the same as sorrond wrap.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          But wouldn’t that make them recyclable? We could just eat the same ones over and over…

          Ewww, I just squicked myself out.

          Adores: 5
  6. 2010 August 19

    [Young shenanigans corey] Where I worked in my late teens we would get pallets of stuff with plastic wrap covering them, and also cover pallets with plastic wrap. The plastic wrap came on big rolls, like Xmas wrap, only the tubes were much stouter (Mr. Taco, over to you.)Anyway, we would roll up the wrap on breaks and play baseball. At first we started out with the tubes, then graduated to mop handles. Season was cancelled after the foremans’ computer took a line drive and fell on the floor and broke. [/expensive corey]

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 August 19
      Lou Stool permalink

      [this got people fired Corey] For a few years I worked at a home improvement warehouse and we would often wrap up peoples’ cars on their last day. One girl was not quite so lucky, as she herself was shrinkwrapped to a chair, the chair was zip-tied to a pallet, and the pallet was then lifted into an overhead bayfor about a half hour. You guessed it, the regional manager just happened to stop in for a surprise visit during this time. He apparently didn’t share the same sense of humour we did. [/can’t believe we almost got away with it Corey]

      Adores: 10
  7. 2010 August 19
    TacoMagic permalink

    *Raises index finger and opens mouth*

    *No sound*

    *Lowers finger and closes mouth*

    I need some coffee. Carry on, people.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 19
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Good thing you specified closing your mouth. You never know what might have ended up in there otherwise.

      Adores: 2
  8. 2010 August 19

    The Candorman rates this at a 9/10 for stupidity!

    When I Don’t Know How To Spell Something…I Go To dictionary.com. (excuse the mention, but the literacy of our electronic generation is exceptionally deplorable).

    Now That We’ve Proven That Evolution Is Not Possible (because people this bad at life exist), Let’s Weigh Out Our Options On How To Move Forward With This Discovery:
    A. Buy a roll of *saran wrap for $2.49
    B. Buy a ball of used saran wrap for $10
    C. Have Sex With Bill Gates – He’s Good In A Ball, But Not For UnWrapping

    I Choose C, No Homo.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 19
      TacoMagic permalink

      A. Buy a roll of *saran wrap for $2.49

      [grocery shopper corey]
      That’s being awfully generous to the CL poster. At my grocery store of choice I can pick up a roll for $1.29[/corey]

      I’m assuming he’s charging $8.71 for labor. Which is reasonable, if you’re used to paying people for doing stupid pointless things. He should go into politics. (BA-ZING!)

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 19

      I don’t know which disturbs me most about this comment (not Taco’s) — the excessive capitalization or the implied homophobia. Though right now I think it’s the latter.

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 August 19
        TacoMagic permalink

        Yeah, Spontaneous capitalization is My thing! I’ve got the Pinky to Prove it.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Implied? – Not in the least…

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19

        I suppose I shouldn’t have used punctuation in my blighted mockery, woops, my bad.

        Taco, my pinky owns yours?

        D – Explain to me how having sex with a man that has more money than entire countries is homosexual? I call it a business expense…it’s all about opportunity costs, and ROI. Not to mention, you know that man is a catcher. However, I did call no homo. Not only does that cleanse me of any possible homosexual banter, but that should let you know that my intentions are purely money oriented?

        muah hahaha

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19

          Okay, I’ve had my caffeine now and I see that the capitalization was a play on the original post. (Hey, I wrote the post a week ago … I’d forgotten some of the details.)

          candorman, let’s stop with the gay jokes, okay? I don’t like it. There’s ways of being humorous without invoking the LOL FAG convention.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          So you’d do him it for the money?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          Mr. Winkey, as an equal opportunity Winker, does not appreciate implied bigotry towards those who are not of heterosexual persuasion, however creepy an individual might be. Only tasteful tongue-in-cheek implied bigotry is allowed, especially when done in a self-deprecating manner, because such humor is

          FAB-u-looouuuus!

          **winks at Candorman**

          The YSaC regular who attempts to terrorize the denizens of YSaC through the sock puppet known as “Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo” does not appreciate such comments either, for vaguely similar (but much less creepy) reasons.

          **Mr. Winkey winks at everybody.**

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          I’m still trying to narrow down Mr. Winkey’s true identity.

          I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s Dan.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          I think it might be Grampdaddy. Perhaps we should start a thread in the fora* for guessing on secret identities?

          *I hope you’re happy, Capn.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19

          **Candorman winks back at Mr. Winky**

          Perhaps if more was known about the multifaceted humor in such posts, the censorship would cease.

          The convention “no homo” is a joke itself…

          I recommend watching the video “no homo goes to far” (I refuse to name drop another website – it ends with “tube”), and then get back to me on whether you think I’m being clever or “invoking the LOL FAG convention”. Truth be told, for those who spend all day online, my posts offer different humor encompassing many audiences.

          **His feelings are hurt – his humor not understood – and candor inappropriately reprimanded**

          By the way…I still don’t know how to change my image : ), help?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19

          Go to http://gravatar.com/

          Sign up using the same e-mail address you use to post here.

          Upload an image to Gravatar, and set it for your e-mail address. Make sure you rate the image as being G.

          Clear cache and restart browser.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          Did you sign up with Gravatar yet?

          http://en.gravatar.com/

          EDIT: Shoot, Astro beat me to it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          Alternately, you can use strategically placed post-it notes.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19

          candorman, folks responded to your request on yesterday’s post as well … plus it’s in the FAQ’s.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Ya I was being lazy, thanks for the help though!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Sara – I would love to comment further, but my nonsense got me in trouble already.

          Allow me to tread lightly in my elaboration…there is very little any human being wouldn’t do for 3 billion dollars (my going rate for such a venture), am I wrong?

          Taco knows what I’m talking about…hahaha

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’d probably do it for a billion. Maybe two, then I’d have something left over after taxes and buying my own island.

          I would name it “Getthehelloffitsmy Island”.

          EDIT: Hey, you got your avatar to change!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19

          And then I, and my band of merry men, would storm your island, claim it as our own and re-name it “Getthefookouttahere Island”.

          Afterwards, we’d have a big slumber party and invite you, SJ.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          I’m giving candorman a [matt] FAQ!! [/matt] just for being lazy.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 19
          Lola permalink

          Mr. Winkey has reared his ungroomed head when Grampdaddy has been off the grid … otherwise, decent guess.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          And he’s been here on weekends… so that rules out Taco.

          Oh most venerable Llama-Nun*, is it the Ostrimu hiding under that unkempt beard?

          *May bees be upon you, always.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          *knows, but keeps her mouth shut.

          Thank goodness for IP address records …

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19

          It is the Ostrimu, then, isn’t it?

          We’re not asking for the actual identity, just a simple yes or no as to whether or not it’s Dan.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          I have a suspicion about Mr. W and have since the first ever comment posted… I suspect the truth will be found out.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Well, I started a thread over on the forum where we can guess on his identity, as well as the identities of other sock puppets.

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 August 19
    MandaB permalink

    $10 for a ball of plastic wrap??? For that price I’d expect them to throw in the giant paper mache (sic) vagina and tinfoil balls too!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 19
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Tinfoil balls make your teeth feel funny when you bite them. Geez, ever get a little bit of gum wrapper in your mouth? A whole ball in there would be terrible.

      What?!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        EclecticBlue permalink

        AGH! I had the unfortunate sensation of imagining that… Ugugughghghg…

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I’ve chewed lightly on tinfoil on occasion. It’s not so bad.

          Yes, I’m weird like that.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19
        LimeLolly permalink

        Grampdaddy… that was some slick line-crossing there.

        My hubby has never heard me complain… * tries an innocent look*

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Grampdaddy permalink

          LL – I have absolutely NO idea as to what you are referring…

          (walks away whistling innocently (and giggling))

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Okay… as long as we’re both innocent…. of any misunderstandings..

          (walks away whistling as well) *points* How do you like them alliterations?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          **winks at Grampdaddy and LimeLolly**

          Hey, giggling is my thing.

          **giggles girlishly.**

          Adores: 1
  10. 2010 August 19

    Other uses for tinfoil balls (unwrap first):
    โ€ข Make your soap last longer
    โ€ข Keep birds out of your fruit trees
    โ€ข Sun visor for Bill Gates while you’re holding his hand through a vibrant meadow at sunset.

    [Edited by drmk]

    Adores: 0
  11. 2010 August 19

    HELP! I’m Sorronded by idiots!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 19
      Bacontini permalink

      Hi HamCan!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 19

      hahaha, okay D. No more “gay jokes”. Noted.

      However, I retort: Undertones are much different than what you’re describing. Innocent fun that I figured we could all laugh at. But if you prefer sarcasm, I’ve been endowed with multitudes from birth.

      Much Luv, Don’t Hate!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        sarajean80 permalink

        I prefer the sarcasm. Makes me feel like I’m at home.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          Innana permalink

          Humor would be nice, too!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          Innana permalink

          Maybe the DOG was saying that.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          I’m pretty sure they say that all the time, right after they say “Look Rover I got the idiot to give me a hunk of his steak again, hahaha”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Humorous subterfuge to hopefully put an end to what could be the biggest flame war since corey showed up:
          As some folks here know, Candor is a small town in upstate NY that is well known for…well…nothing really, except that I probably personally finance a year’s worth of road improvements with the speeding tickets I paid there. My mother used to have a fantastic t-shirt that read “Candor, NY: 10,000 cows can’t be wrong.”
          I’m not really a fan of the ironic t-shirt, but if Mr. Winky has one of these, I’d so pay six bucks for it.

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 19
      Lola permalink

      That’s not a nice thing to say about your dogs!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19

        That’s not a nice thing to call my co-wokers*

        *However true it may be…

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          *r*

          Here Hammy, you dropped this.

          (unless your dogs and a wok are creepily connected—gotta love that Vietnamese food!)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          [matt]Did you ever consider that HamCan might work at a restaurant that specializes in stir-fry? Did you Mudsy? No, you didn’t did you. Instead you decided to demean the woking community by assuming he spelled the “workers” wrong. You should be ashamed, talk about poor taste. I don’t know why I even post here anymore with all your prejudices against different forms of cooking pans.

          Next I suppose you’ll be saying that cast iron griddles aren’t as good as Teflon?![/matt]

          Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta get back to wok.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          You just wok that righteous indignation right out the door, Mister!

          Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta take a wok around the block to cool off. Thanks, just thanks for making my day.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          I haven’t had the opportunity to show people how to properly utilize the Matt tags in a while. You just happened to get lucky like that.

          Mwa!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Lucky wasn’t the word I was thinking of.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          There are many forms of luck. Not all of them good.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          Hey, look, a black cat!

          **chases after black cat, walks under ladder in the process.**

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          There are many forms of luck. Not all of them good

          Familiar am I with that latter group.
          Could probably give guided tours (1 hour $10, three-hour-tour $36).
          Have considered the effort for cartography, but then considered the audience for same is already probably well-served.

          Edit to add: I hate IE

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          Wasn’t someone else on a three hour tour?

          Adores: 4
  12. 2010 August 19
    Windrose permalink

    I am struggling through this morning after not getting much sleep last night and having to go to work anyway, which might explain why I read this first as A Ball Of Sorrow. Thinking it was something like Worry Dolls, it didn’t seem like a bad idea. In reality, Sparkle (I keep thinking this is a mom posting) is teaching her spawn that you can get real money for any old crepe.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 19
      Lola permalink

      A ball of sorrow? Not far off – that’s what you have after you get it and realize you just paid $10 for a wad of poorly-spelled Saran wrap. Probably also a little regret and embarrassment in that ball as well.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        Ball of Sorrow – live at the !!40 Watt!!!

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          Meh. Avoiding that one. Emos* make me wanna slap someone silly.

          *Not to be confused with emus or ostrimus which make me go, “awww, cuddly-looking.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          It would be hard to find a cuddly emo, I think that’s against the rules or something.

          I wouldn’t want to slap one, all those odd metal bits hanging out of their faces might my cut my hand. That would make me sad,I need it for slapping, driving, and occasionally making myself a sandwich.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          Twobyfours are immune to the pain of having spikey bits imbedded in them.

          Just saying.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think crowbars are too, and they have the added advantage of being a bit more portable and discreet.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          But crowbars are much less fun than 2x4s. It’s not as mindbogglingly hilarious if your middle school band director conducts with one.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19

          But you get that “PING!” sound. I love that sound. Allegedly.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 20
          CapnMac permalink

          But, that _is_ the most expensive machine in the hospital.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19
      Kae permalink

      No, no. That was me, too. I was blaming it on the adult-sized dose of children’s allergy medicine I took first thing this morning. (Really. It’s the only non-drowsy kind in the house.)

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19
      kelli permalink

      I keep thinking this is a mom posting

      I keep thinking this is a deluded art student. I know quite a few of them. One tried to pay for a meal at a restaurant by drawing a doodle on the check. Everyone at the table was suitably embarassed by him.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 19
        Moira permalink

        Yeah, I could see a deluded art student going this route. There is *almost* potential in a photographic series about a wandering pearly ball of plastic wrap.

        Of course, if I wanted to do such a thing, I’d make my own.
        And the ball of plastic wrap would occasionally be accompanied by a papier mache set of labia and tinfoil balls.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          There is *almost* potential in a photographic series about a wandering pearly ball of plastic wrap.

          Kind of like the traveling life-sized cardboard cutout of Severus Snape?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          :clicks link:

          Wow. Someone has a lot of time of their hands.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          So are you thinking “Kung Fu” wandering or Bruce Banner wandering?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Moira – please be safe while traveling around with your “pearly ball of plastic wrap”, especially if it will be in close proximity to paper-mache` labia and tinfoil balls – be sure to transport it in a prophylactic.

          And to those interested (Taco and Astrognash, in particular) I hereby certify, pledge, and truthfully state that I am NOT Mr. Winkey.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          Jen permalink

          But Grampdaddy, if there’s one thing I learned in Music, it’s that cling film _is_ a prophylactic!!*

          *The joys of watching Grease with bored, possibly high substitute teachers.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          More the “Kung Fu” variety. Or perhaps walkabout.

          Now that I contemplate this more, I would totally do it… except that I have no interest in photography or searching for interesting looking places for my subject to find itself.

          Darn it. Another (potentially) brilliant project dies due to my laziness.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19
        TacoMagic permalink

        I know a pair of art students who think like this too.

        It’s sad that they don’t realize that the real world operates on money in BOTH directions.

        “People don’t realize that I expect to be paid for my art. I’m a professional artist after all!”

        “That’s nice sir, are you paying with cash or credit card?”

        “Tell you what, I’ve got a sketch of the city scape right here. I’ll pay with that.”

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19

          As once said by Ms. PacMan, “WokkaWokkaWokka”

          Edit:Hmmm, how’d this end up here…Hey Edit works today, I coulda had workers instead of Chinese food, darn it!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          I just remembered an actual* quote from one of them. I had questioned his artistic ability (He asked my opinion and I said I didn’t care for it). His response was:

          “Taco, you just don’t understand the message I’m trying to portray. I’m attempting to go beyond accepted aesthetics in order to broaden the conception of true beauty.” (*Or something like that… I wasn’t really paying attention after “don’t understand the message”)

          “So you’re basically saying you’re exploring the artistic merit of uglyness?”

          “Taco, I don’t know why I even bother showing you my work.”

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          Yeah, but if you did Hammy you’d still be hungry* half an hour later.

          *ancient Chinese secret

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          kelli permalink

          There was an art exhibit, I think it was in New York (I took art 105 far too long ago to remember the details) where the “artist” laid underneath some floorboards and pleasured himself. There was another one where a different “artist” had someone shoot him in the arm. I think quite a few people are aware of “Fountain” – the urinal that Duchamp turned upside down and signed therefore making it “Art.”

          Edit – found a link for fountain.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          The art museum at my college once did a showcase of New Age American artists. I passed through as part of my security job, and took some time to see the art.

          Most of it was terrible (as expected) but one piece in particular struck me as just plain bad. It was called “Red Yellow Blue III”. It consisted of three canvases, the first painted red, the second yellow, and the third blue. Even better, this was the THIRD such ‘painting’ made by the ‘artist’.

          I won’t even go into the egocentric pontificating that passed for an explanation of the underlying meaning of the painting. To his credit though, he did not use ‘man’s inhumanity to man’ even once.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          kelli permalink

          And I found a video of Shoot by Chris Burden.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          I’m going to speak up in defense of modern art, including pieces like “Red Yellow Blue III” and “Shoot”. I’m not an artist, or an art scholar, so this isn’t going to be an academic diatribe about modern art.

          I just want to say that I don’t like when people dismiss modern art on the grounds that “I could have done that.” My response to that is always, “Yes, maybe … but you didn’t.”

          In the case of “Red Yellow Blue III”, I’m assuming that that was a piece by Ellsworth Kelly, who was one of the artists associated with the Color Field movement. In other words, that piece was exactly as advertised — it requires the viewer to think about color, both in isolation (as a block) and in the context of the other colors present.

          Now mind you, there’s a lot of modern art that is shit. There was a lot of art throughout the ages that was also shit — we just have the long historical perspective to now understand who was influential and who wasn’t.

          As far as Chris Burden goes, I think that his work was pretty influential in the world of performance art. Plus I get to use him as an example all the time about why people need to know history and context when they try to create art (writ large); I tell people, “Imagine that you have this great idea for an art project; you’re going to shoot yourself in the arm and film it, and everyone will think you’re daring and fabulous for doing it. So you do it … and the world yawns — because someone has already done it, and because you didn’t know the history and context in which you are appearing as an artist, your daring and fabulous statement turned out to be merely a copycat action.”

          Sorry. I enjoy modern art quite a bit, and I get frustrated when people make certain assumptions about modern art.

          In order to avoid completely derailing this post, if folks want to continue the conversation I’d suggest the forums.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 19
          TacoMagic permalink

          Fair enough.

          *Crosses another item off the mockery list*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Hrm, I guess I am grumpy today. I didn’t mean you couldn’t mock modern art; I do it all the time! I just needed to defend those specific pieces, I guess.

          I should step away from the computer today, methinks.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          :hands drmk the flask she stole from Lola:

          Here…this will make everything all better…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think the Llama-Nun needs a hug and some chocolate-covered alfalfa.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19

          Jim Beam Black and some gooey chocolate chip cookies.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, Modern Art is definitely a minefield, even without the labels.
          It is one thing to create art which makes a person think–a challenge in our Sparky-filled world as is. It is quite another to require art “consumers” to be PhD in Art Appreciation to “get” it. The lines there then get so subtle, it’s hard to distinguish real art for the excesses of of intoxicated celebutards.

          After all, Paris Hilton vomiting is not art. Vomiting upon her might be; or it might be mere biological reflux.

          Art is supposed to be about lines. Like the fellow who would use an ordinary Flair pen and would sketch an image of US currency on handy objects (he was careful to not be 1:1 in scale and deliberately monochrome, per USC). Now, the most unique thing about this, was that it was ‘performance art’ before that was a genre, as he would use paper bags from stores and delis and the , or restaurant napkins, for his media; then attempt to trade lunch, or coffee, or the like for the art created in situ. Secret Service said he was ok, but IRS used to nag him though.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Stupid IE
          Would not display the edit button (wanted to ad [art corey] tags to the above) until the timer was down to 5 seconds.
          Harumph, mumble, grumble, mumble . ..

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          I hate modern art. Sorry… but it’s a big reason why I quit art college. My art was constantly mocked at the school, as I bothered to draw actual recognizable things and scenes. People who put together “found objects” (junk they found in the street, basically) and attached a B.S. description got A’s. I drew a city park in the early morning with city animals about such as pigeons and squirrels and was told by the teacher in front of everyone “this is exactly what we SHOULDN’T draw” and by the teacher’s decree, was thus hated by the rest of the class and treated like a no-talent hack.
          The ultimate thing to sway my decision to quit was an art show they were having with pieces for sale… a woman drew stick figure birds on torn up tracing paper- it was selling for 3 million dollars. A man painted a beautiful realistic landscape- it was selling for $50.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 19
          Moira permalink

          Oooh, hugs. I like hugs. Llamas are particularly huggable because they are fluffy! Llamanuns are no exception to this.

          Now, as my grandma says (incessantly, really), put your right hand on your left shoulder. Now put your left hand on your right shoulder. Now squeeze.
          That’s a long-distance hug!

          She’s so cute and cheerful when she says this – like she’s sharing one of the most marvelous secrets of the universe.

          I think I’d opt for the flask and some chocolate, personally.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          Meej permalink

          Not to go on *too* much about art, but re: Duchamp’s “Fountain,” kelli, that was kind of his point: questioning whether it was an artist’s signature, or the hanging of something in a gallery, or some other quality that defined “art.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          So, uh, I guess this would be the wrong crowd to tell that my current goal is to get to the Donald Judd museum.
          Seriously, I love modern art, and I’m so relieved that the Llama-nun saved me the need for a matteriffic corey, but I should also ammend that when it offends, modern art offends like no other. I think that’s why I like it so much. Besides, I prefer having arguments with my husband about whether a florescent light or a Rainbow Vac has more aesthetic value than whose turn it is to clean the toilets.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          Jen permalink

          I prefer traditional art, but I suspect that’s largely because I hate being ‘left out’ of jokes/allusions etc. yet can’t be bothered putting in the effort to learn enough about stuff to ‘get’ modern art. The old stuff is easy, know your bible and greco-roman mythology and you’re away. Plus it’s shiny.

          However, christina, I am SUPER excited by the concept of a “Rainbow Vac”, but only because I have decided it is a machine which sucks up dust, bobby pins and small hairballs (mine, not a cat’s) and spits out rainbows at the other end. I am now making it my life’s work to invent/acquire this technology.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 19
          tacomagic permalink

          I have produced a diatribe on why I hate modern art (specifically pieces like Red Yellow Blue III) on the forums in order to move this discussion there (as requested by the Llama-nun).

          Cheers.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Part of me agrees with our dear Llamanun (bees be with her) and part of me disagrees. I don’t think it is so much whether art is “modern” or not, but whether it is done well. I have seen paintings done of a solid color on a canvas, no shading, no texture, just a solid square of color. Perhaps the artist has an intent and a message, but it seems too obscure, I don’t understand the talent. As a photographer, I have often shot white on white on white images. Others may look and think “So what.”, but I know how incredibly difficult it is to produce an image that allows the various “white” tones to be seen as distinct and separate. Therefore, I realize that I may be missing something in the solid color painting that the artist has done. (Hope this is making some sense).

          I have quit photographing professionally because I got tired of dealing with the “I got a digital camera, I can take pichers (sic) just as good as you.” Sorry, no, you can’t – I have 50+ years of photographic background, I know how to anticipate what the camera is going to see, I can anticipate the moment to trip the shutter, and I KNOW what the image is before the camera records it. I have had brides come to me who had “Uncle Harry” photograph their wedding because I was “too expensive”, who are now in tears because they have no wedding photographs.

          So, drmk, you are right – it matters what effort is being made, and it matters what the artist is creating. But, and it is a big but (not a big butt – that is entirely different) if the creation is excrement, calling it anything else does not remove the fact that it IS excrement. Poseurs and the “I made it so it must be art” do a disservice to all those who truly try to create beauty and/or a statement.

          Sorry for being long-winded. I don’t know if this should have a [corey] or a [matt] or a [Candor, NY] tag. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          I don’t care what you call art… as long as I don’t have to buy it.

          I’ve gotten used to seeing concrete statues of animals painted in different styles and mediums placed all around the city… the most disturbing one was of the catfish decked out in bright pastel pink, green, and yellow checkerboard that sat in the lobby of my workplace. I used the back entrance for a loooong time.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19

          @sarajean80: I read that as “chocolate-covered alfajores” and my mouth started watering.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 20

          [my art motto] If I like it, I buy it. If I don’t, I don’t. [/end my art motto]

          And after reading her art discourse, I would SO love to have the Llama-nun as a professor…of ANY subject, art or otherwise…bees be upon her.

          *puts a chocolate-covered golden delicious apple on drmk’s computer desk*

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19

        A guy working at a pizza place bet me I couldn’t draw a picture of a person in under a 30 seconds. If I could, he’d give me a free large cheese pizza.

        That pizza was delicious ^_^ Shared it with my friends at the time.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 19

          What quality was said drawing?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          Not the greatest, but it was recognizable as a person and had all the right number of eyes, legs, etc.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          **winks at SilvaNoir**

          Was it good enough that you’d put it on a ($6) T-Shirt?

          **giggles girlishly, and winks at Silva again.**

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19

          ARGHHHHH winky! *scurries into a hole in the baseboards in fear*

          (I prefer my art being on the YSAC t-shirts)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          **puts eye up to hole in baseboard, winks into it.**

          Hello, little mousey!

          **winks at Astrognash.**

          Giggle.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19

          Oddly enough, I’ve seen worse than a strange hipster hobo winking at me.

          Namely, the Mellophone section leader. Think Tyson Apostle from Survivor: Tocantins and Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains. But much more… disturbing to the eyes.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19
          Lou Stool permalink

          *Is SO glad that creepy Winky guy hasn’t gotten to him yet*

          Adores: 1
  13. 2010 August 19

    “Its Good For Arts And Crafts But Not Like To Unwrap”

    Oooh, the mind boggles….

    What happens if I unwrap it?

    Will I unleash giant hordes of minions of evil hummingbirds?

    Will it create a huge vacuum into which the universe disappears?

    Or, and this is most probable, will I find last week’s salmon leftovers you took to work, left in the car and are just now remembering?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 19
      sarajean80 permalink

      What if the “Arts And Crafts” you needed it for was a life-sized mummy costume?
      Would you be able to unwrap it then, since you are using it for a “Arts And Crafts” project, but since the seller told you you can’t would such an action cause the complete end of the world as we know it?
      Does the ball itself dislike unwrapping and will transform into a ravenous monster that will consume a large portion of the countryside before the Coast Guard subdue it with a laser cannon?

      Hey, that should be a movie on SyFy!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        Yeah, a movie that MST3K would love to get their hands on.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 19

          If they were still around.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          sarajean80 permalink

          They do RiffTrax now. It’s just the commentary, you have to provide the movie, but they do it for more recent films. I have Twilight and Paranormal Activity, both hilarious.

          http://www.rifftrax.com/

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      Kae permalink

      Oooh! I know! There’s a little, tiny Summoner in the middle!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 19
        Camille permalink

        Wouldn’t it be a Suffocated Summoner by now?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 19
          Kae permalink

          Maybe he Summons air…

          Adores: 4
  14. 2010 August 19
    Kae permalink

    I wonder if you void the warranty if you unwrap it…

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      No. Only if you remove the mattress tag. And then the Mattress Police will break down your door with a boxspring.

      Adores: 2
  15. 2010 August 19
    Moira permalink

    Raising money for school shopping by selling a ball of used plastic wrap…
    Seriously.
    Claiming it is good for “crafts” does not make this idea any better or more interesting.

    *shakes head*

    I’m thinking CL troll or REALLY stoned college kid.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2010 August 19
    Litarider permalink

    Someone else has bigger balls. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mloco/150652926/

    Something to be proud of! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul5JCm01JF4

    Sorry, I’m trying to learn how to link my words. No success yet.

    Adores: 0
  17. 2010 August 19

    Okay, call me crazy (if you want to state the obvious), but this inspires me. I’ve been getting teased (lightly) about not “personalizing” my workspace. You know those decorative balls that are meant to sit in a bowl or basket on a table in a fussy house? I think I’ll make one out of plastic wrap, one tin foil, one tape and of course, a rubber band ball. I’m stumped as to what to use as a decorative vessel to hold these though. Suggestions?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 19
      Litarider permalink

      Fake silver platter, of course. Preferably large enough to cover the work surface of your desk.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 19
        Meej permalink

        There’s no plate like chrome for the ball o’ tapes.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Try a urinal, hung upside down on the wall, and sign it. (I’d suggest “Mr. Winkey”).

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19

      Personally, I think the blue recycling receptacles are a lovely way to display all manner of crapola artful decorative balls.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 19
      sarajean80 permalink

      The cardboard box that reams of paper come in?

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      There is plastic wrap in pretty colors. Go for it!

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      A Swanson’s TV Dinner container (cleaned, of course).

      …or The Round File…

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19

      Different lengths of paper towel tubes? For a tiered effect?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19

        Smedley, That is brilliant! Like little trophy heads on pedestals!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Ooh, rapped in colored shipping tape, or warning tapes, too.

          Much better than a bent paper-clip gazing-ball stand.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19
        Moira permalink

        Indeed, Smedley! I think that would work very nicely.

        Kinda reminds me of some of the lamps decorations from the 60s and 70s.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19

      What else would you place decorative balls on but a bronze naked lady table?

      *wish I could link old post*

      ok, maybe not.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      Lou Stool permalink

      Up-side-down football helmet!

      Adores: 1
  18. 2010 August 19
    Litarider permalink

    I just found this in a furniture ad on CL, “FLORAL PRINT WILL FIT IN EASILY WITH NY DACOR. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE RELAXING IN THE BEAUTIFUL CHAISE. IT IS IN OUR SITTING ROOM SO WE RARELY USE IT, BUT WE LOVE TO LOOK AT IT .”

    I’d submit the ad but I already just sent in an ad.

    Anyway, I think the ball of surrond is rarely used but the owner loves to look at it too.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19

      I love the way Sparky points out that there’s “NOTHING LIKE RELAXING IN THE BEAUTIFUL CHAISE” and then says “WE RARELY USE IT, BUT WE LOVE TO LOOK AT IT”

      Makes me wonder if this is some kind of hummingbird demon-possessed piece of furniture what invokes….ALL HAIL HYPNO-CHAISE!

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 19
      sarajean80 permalink

      I don’t think there’s a limit to the number of ads you can send in.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        Litarider permalink

        I don’t want to cause the wrath of the llama-nun, Bees be upon Her.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 19

          No limit. It’s better to submit them via email … that way I have it and can call it up in the future if I need to!

          Adores: 0
  19. 2010 August 19
    I_Love_Lola permalink

    It may be wholly inappropriate to say, but I have been silently viewing this site for many months now, and I must state most emphatically that I am in love with Lola.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      Lola permalink

      *cough*
      *blush*

      Er.

      Thank you, whoever you are … ? In any case, if you want to comment and interact with everyone (as well as me), please do.

      *commences lurking*

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        Looks like Mr. Winkey is trying a new tactic.

        teehee *wink wink*

        :borderline creepy:

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 19
          Mr. Winkey, the Six Dollar Shirts Hobo permalink

          **winks at Mudsy**

          **giggles girlishly**

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 19
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, the sublime which is Lola
          A rose by any other name
          would be Rosoideae Rosa

          Sharp of wit, talented of mind, clever ar snark
          Skilled with coffee sliced and flasks well shared
          Can even ride the RT in the dark

          So, what’s in a handle, in a name
          Any name, real, assumed, shortened for convenience
          That it is not mete we acclaim

          Or some such. Limits of my skill to wax posy today so far today.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        sarajean80 permalink

        Looks like Taco has some competition for Official Stalker of YSaC.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 19

        Well at least s/he didn’t make mention of what you were eating, where you were shopping or what designer hand bag you were carrying past Starbucks. Given the CL personals, I’d say I_love_Lola is a keeper!

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 20
        I_Love_Lola permalink

        Oh, I’m sure I could, but I feel I am not equipped with nearly enough snark to post anything more valid.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 20
          Lola permalink

          Don’t underestimate yourself – if you want to say something snarky, go ahead; you may be better than you realize. And of course you can post under separate moniker if you prefer us to not know it’s the same poster.

          Again – welcome!

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 20

      I think at one time or another, we all have a “crush” on Lola. And a beautiful, ornately-carved wood door to Capn for summing it up perfectly.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 20
        Lola permalink

        *blushes lobster-tone*

        Thank you, Archie. I am not just being reciprocally nice when I say I’m a fan of yourself as well, not just personality but the immaculately groomed brows of your avatar. (My own … not so much.)

        *blushes again in real life, goes away*

        Adores: 0
  20. 2010 August 19
    KatyCat permalink

    Why??? Why would someone even bother to make that? What was going through his/her/its tiny mind?
    Idle curiosity? (“Let’s see how big I can make this.”)
    Scientific curiosity? (“What makes sorrond wrap stick to itself?”)
    P.T. Barnum-style capitalism? (“I wonder what’s the stupidest thing I can actually sell to someone?”)
    A misguided attempt at being eco-friendly? (“This is how people recycle, reduce and reuse, right?”)
    The mind boggles.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19
      CapnMac permalink

      You bring a good point, if one that might want for [matt] tags.

      [corey]After all, if this person were of an age when everyone stored rationed items, they would have called it “cling wrap” in the same way they would use “tin foil” to mean the aluminum sheet product. [/corey]

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19

      The most likely made it as a base for a sculpture, to form whatever they wanted around.

      That or they were very very bored…

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19
      EclecticBlue permalink

      1. Raid the kitchen for random stuff.
      2. Play with it.
      3. ????
      4. Profit!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 19

        I was gonna post the same thing, except in this case we found #2 (well, #3)…. roll into ball and post on internet

        Adores: 0
  21. 2010 August 19

    *A limerickish tale of sorrond*

    Ms. Sparkle of whom we were fond.
    She had wrapped a ball of sorrond.
    To shop for school.
    Money she’d pool.
    An idea her brain just spawned.

    She’d announce to all and in part.
    It’s good for the crafts and the art.
    Not like to unwrap.
    This wee ball of crap.
    I’ll sell it on some sort of mart.

    But lo, the high powers that be.
    A use in this ball they did see.
    A problem to solve.
    A plan to evolve.
    Plan B will be done with such glee.

    A ceiling god we have to appease.
    That glowing light does taunt and does tease.
    Plan A it did fail.
    Which then made us wail.
    And we’re stuck with that truck full of bees.

    On the YSACers it suddenly dawned.
    This ball just won’t be a magical wand.
    No offer would be sent.
    To Ms. Sparkles lament.
    For YSACers are not easily conned.

    Adores: 9
  22. 2010 August 19

    In one of my art classes we were required to come up with our own definition of art. After much deliberation, and seeing all matter of things labeled art regardless of quality I came up with what I think is a fair assessment:

    Art is any thing which has no practical use except to be viewed. For example: a bowl on a museum display is art, a bowl in your kitchen used for mixing is not.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 19

      Well I might be inclined to agree, Silva, but during a recent trip to the Dallas Museum of Art I saw an exhibit of dinner and cook wear from the 20-40s which were indeed art. Who is to say that my grandmothers depression era china, which she still uses, is not art?
      I’ll stick to my simpler definition: If I find something aestheticly pleasing and it invokes an emotional response, then it is “art” to me.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19
        Jen permalink

        But surely Silva’s definition still holds – art can be art AND a functional object, but the use to which it’s put determines which of those two apparently discrete functions it’s fulfilling at that point in time.
        So, bowl on table, with porridge in it about to be om nom nomed by me* = functional.
        Bowl on table with porridge in it behind velvet rope with tens of people gawking at it and the words “man’s inhumanity to man” pinned next to it = art.
        Me trying to climb over the velvet rope and om nom nom the porridge to prove a point about the disillusionment of the masses with modern art = visa problems.
        Is this artMath?

        *Sorry Cap’n…

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 19

          You are right Jen, and looking at it now my comment sounds cranky. I apologize, I had just received some disturbingly bad news from the home front and it probably projected.
          Silva, even though I’m the type that finds a single line on a canvas interesting, I want you to know that I hold your art in very high regard. I think that any snotty art school kid that made fun of your work is just an asshat who doesn’t really “get” art anymore than I get nuclear physics.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19
        Jen permalink

        Oh no, it didn’t come across cranky, I was just enjoying the chance to be all semantical and stuff (and talk about porridge). Bad interwebs deleting nuance and making christina feel bad!

        P.S Hope the bad news is transitory, but *hugs* in the meanwhile.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 20

          Thanks Jen ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s okay, but family can be…um…a bit of a burden at times. Oh and I forgot to mention above, a Rainbow is a brand of vacuum cleaners. They were also displayed as art by Jeff Koons, who is probably one of the most hated modern artists of all time.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 20
          Jen permalink

          *sigh* Another day, another dream crushed. Next you’ll be telling me Rainbow Brite’s horse didn’t really excrete rainbows, upon which he and she then rode towards.. um… oh cr@p. Oh well, it’s Friday and I’m off on holleedays for a week!!

          Have a snarkalicious week peoples (and aminals and hybrids and mythicalmexicanentrees and robots-of-destruction and everything else), I’m sure I’ll drive my holiday-mates mildly wild with all the misplaced snark. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 20
          CapnMac permalink

          No, “nom” is probably as apt as euphonic for the “yummy noises” some utter over their congee or jouk (oatmeal porridge and I tend to remain in mutual estrangement).

          And, quantity my be part of the “Is it Art?” equation.

          One plain, hand carved wooden bowl of o-kayu on a pedastle could be art.
          A dozen such bowls on a trestle table is more likely breakfast for muesum workers.

          Setting is part of the equation, too. A perfectly flipped omelette is art to me. But, unless given a setting to suggest permanence, it will become chow.

          Hmm, sic transit gloria arte?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 20

          Oh, no, the stuff about Rainbow Brite’s horse is totally true. I heard all about it from Strawberry Shortcake.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 19

      My definition is:

      Anything crafted by an intelligent being* for the purpose of being aesthetically pleasing to a viewer.

      *I believe that, in a universe as large as ours, we can’t be alone, and, if there is other intelligent life out there, they likely have art as well.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19

        And just like here on Earth, for every Klingon opera, there’s elebenty Vogon poems ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Adores: 7
  23. 2010 August 19
    ThatFrood permalink

    I find the lack of Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm jokes in this comment section disturbing.

    Adores: 0
  24. 2010 August 19

    OT: Hey all. I’m stopping by to ask for some healing energy (or prayers, or whatever you prefer) for my best friend. She’s been dizzy, nauseous, and has had a headache for a couple weeks now. They gave her some anti-nausea medication to see if it worked, and even using it she was still dizzy, although the nausea and headache went away. As soon as she went off it, everything came back. I’m terrified. And she’s back in Oregon so I feel even more helpless than I might if I could at least be there with her. So, that’s all.

    I’m going to hand out some doors, but that might be all I can do today.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 19
      Lola permalink

      Will definitely keep her in my thoughts. I’ve been a headache sufferer for decades, but was always glad they were, no matter how bad, not around long enough to cause real concern. This situation is scary. And being far from a friend in worry is difficult.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19

        I’ve been a migraine sufferer for years, so yeah, I know what you mean. She’s had migraines too, actually…which actually makes this even more worrisome since she knows what a migraine feels like and that’s obviously not it.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19
      Moira permalink

      Here’s hoping it’s something easily cleared up once diagnosed. I’m assuming they are waiting on test results or have they already ruled out an inner ear infection?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 19

        Ooh, good point. You’d think they’d have checked for that, but she has Kaiser…I’m not their biggest fan ever since it took them 6 hours to get me in for a cat bite that was rapidly getting infected. I knew this cat and knew he’d had his rabies vaccine, but still.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19

      Sending out those gooooood Oregon vibes…..
      nananananananaaaaah…

      ab imo pectore

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19

      **fights back urge to do Arnold Schwarzenegger impression**

      I wish the best for your friend, and hope that ::Arnold::it’s not a tumor.::Arnold::

      In all seriousness, if I prayed, I’d pray for your friend, but I don’t, so I’ll just have to try and send good vibes northwestward.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 19

        I don’t pray either. Good thoughts are perfect. Thanks. And thanks for the laugh, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 19

      Sending warm thoughts as well. I hope they do a full spectrum of diagnostics, dizziness and nausea could be a number of things (diabetes for me), I’m hoping it’s one of the more minor ones.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 20
      MandaB permalink

      It is always hard when the people we care about aren’t feeling well and we can’t be close by. I hope your friend is feeling much better soon, Bridgete!

      Adores: 0
  25. 2010 August 19

    I dub thee Sir Rond of Wrap, arise and go forth to your Ball. The Lady of Weaveable place awaits you!

    *As you were, that has been bouncing around my noggin all day and needed out.

    Adores: 6
  26. 2010 August 19
    LimeLolly permalink

    [fake science corey] Did you know that it take exactly 7 rolls of sorrond wrap to make a ball that size when using just plastic wrap? Additional rolls required, if the hand is larger than average size.

    Did you also know, that to get that specific amber hue of light requires a 75 watt frosted lightbulb fitted into a $16.99 Home Depot fixture that has the frosted mushroom globe?

    No?

    Boy, is my kid going to ace his science classes! [farcical science corey]

    Adores: 5
  27. 2010 August 19
    Addicted Reader permalink

    However bad the rest of it is, at least Sparky gets points for getting “wrap” correct. Remember the Christmas rapper? ::is too tired to go track down a link::

    G’night all.

    Adores: 2
  28. 2010 August 19
    Windrose permalink

    OT-ish: I’m thinking of placing this ad on my local Craigslist. Mature experienced woman looking for steady income. Part time preferred, able to hand feed baby birds on the job a plus. Can file, answer phones, handle multiple lines and use a computer with little or no supervision. References available. No scams!

    Think I’ll get hired? What can I do to punch it up? 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 19

      You forgot a line:

      “Must pay in vintage cereals firm, obo.”

      ๐Ÿ˜€

      Adores: 0
  29. 2010 August 19

    I just noticed, this post has a massive amount of tags.

    Adores: 1
  30. 2010 August 19
    Windrose permalink

    Taco Etc! It’s been some time since I had you in the box. Er, the Don’t Suck Box, I mean. Oh , dear. Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Uranus!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 20
      TacoMagic permalink

      Thanks Windy. I’ve been in a bit of a rut, but I like to let the fans know that I can still drive the ball out of the park from time to time.

      I’m hoping that with my new snarkletic trainer I’ll be able to increase my performance in the final quarter.

      Adores: 1
  31. 2010 August 19
    KittyShark permalink

    Hey, Sparky stole KittyShark’s egg!

    KittyShark MAD!!!

    Adores: 2
  32. 2010 August 20
    Anomalous permalink

    Who

    The hell

    Would

    Want

    This?????

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 20
      sarajean80 permalink

      It is one of the inponderable mysteries of life.

      Adores: 0
  33. 2013 August 4

    I don’t know much about Art, but I don’t think he’d like this ball of Sorrond.

    Adores: 0
    • 2013 August 4

      We could ask Art Carney, but we’d need to get either a Ouija board or a shovel first.

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 August 4
        nojazzhere permalink

        This Sparkyer must subscribe to the New Literacy rule of “When in doubt, capitalize every word, and, to avoid misuse of punctuation marks, don’t use ANY punctuation marks.” This way no one can mock or criticize….much!!!! (speelliinng is, as usual, optional)

        Adores: 4
    • 2013 August 4
      CapnMac permalink

      The other problem might be–per the gossip–it would turn into deprecations of a Mr Simon, who, it is alleged, does not give in to Surrond of Silence.

      Adores: 0
  34. 2013 August 4

    Get this, a loincloth, and a Barbie doll, and you can pose as the Spirit of Detroit.

    Adores: 1
  35. 2013 August 4
    HamCan permalink

    Que sorrond, sorrond
    Whatever they’ll buy, they’ll buy
    Even a peice of trash, you’ll see
    Que sorrond, sorrond

    Adores: 5
  36. 2013 August 5

    Dave, hope you enjoyed your weekend stay in the Snark Box. zero, next time you can wear the party hat and sleep in the top bunk without the ferrets. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Ball Busters!

    Adores: 0

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