YSaC, Vol. 1054: How much wood could a wood chuck? Not much!
wood quarts – $1
We are selling quarts of wood, any kind of wood we can get it. 60 dollars for a quart and for delivery we will discuss
OK, time to pull out the catulator.
They haven’t told us the type of wood, so let’s assume oak, which has a density of approximately 600 kilograms per cubic meter. That’s a bit on the low side, but it’s high for pine, so we’ll take it as a good middle ground.
Converting that to English units, we get 0.0216763752 pounds per cubic inch of wood. Now a quart is 57.75 cubic inches, so a quart of oak would weigh approximately 1.252 pounds. It would also be 3.8 inches on a side.
So basically, these folks want $60 bucks for a block of wood size of a grapefruit? Does it have the face of a saint on it? Does it come in a velvet bag? Is it full of delicious nougat?
I don’t really think we have much to discuss in terms of delivery either, unless they can do something entertaining like a trebuchet or a trained stork.
SD sent us this, and points out that if we get FOUR quarts of wood, we could build a Spanish Gallon!
How much for two quarts of quartz, delivered?
[Corey]I’m guessing that Sparky means cords.[/Corey]
Drat, I mistyped my email address. Maybe I should go have another coffee slice.
(redneck Corey)
Yes, and ricks would be another measurement, but would be spelled “ricketts”, I’m sure.
I’ve also seen firewood advertised in “truckloads”, which usually means someone’s trying to get away with charging you full cord price for less than a cord.
I think I’d rather have an ounce of prevention.
[corey]There are “face cords” for firewood sales, almost more often than full cords (which seldom fully fit in a pickup truck).
Also, $60 for a face cord is a steal, were it hardwood split for firewood. About 60-70% the going rate here. So, this is likely, as Sparky says “any kine we kin git” green pine and chinaberry and hackwood and the like–worth maybe $30-40 the cord.
mind you, we have dry-seasoned still standing around here, in our drought.
[/corey]
I dunno. Whats’ the expiry date on this wood? How much woodfat is in it? Can I get a little 250ml carton to sample?
OT: I’m still alive! Been a little preoccupied with certain things of late, but my toothy grin and I are still here.
Freaky-puppy, unless your preoccupation involves spending inordinate amounts of time with your fellow YSaCrs, we find your excuse unacceptable.
Right, CJ. Mindee, it’s unsafe to let your snark build up without an outlet. YSaC is an important part of your daily health routine*.
*data on this is unavailable until the mice learn to type.
So true, Windy. When I don’t have time to spend on YSaC on the weekends I find myself snarking (read “snapping”) at convience store clerks and my family and my cats. And the mother-in-law. If you care for your loved ones you will be responsible and spew your snarks here. Or at my mother-in-law.
Just saying.
YSaC. Because You Care.
The last time I spewed snark all over the place, I got a smack on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Not just any newspaper, either. The New York Times. Sunday edition! I still have part of the crossword imprinted on my snout.
Anyone know a seven letter word for “Urinates compulsively?”
OCDWee-r?
ComPiss?
Whizzes
Well, I’m not writing that on my snout. The bitches would laugh. I’m just going to write in “headdog.”
But … but … my tail! I almost had it! It was, like, right there! I just need to practice so I can twirl just a little bit faster and I know I’ll get it!
I’ve heard of getting more fiber in the diet, but this is ridiculous.
If I consumed a quart of wood, I may be regular but I’d be pulling splinters outta my arse for weeks.
Think I’ll pass there Sparky.
Do. Not. Want.
Wood as a laxative = you’re doing it wrong.
Just what I’ve been looking for! I’ll have to get out Granny Ghostie’s recipes for her famous Pine Pickles, Oak Chutney, and Hot Hickory Relish and do some canning this weekend.
Quarts of oak are our ships,
Quarts of oak are our men,
We always are ready.
Steady, boys, steady!
$60 for a quart of wood! Sheesh, steep.
This is why I buy my wood by the gallon.
I heard Sparky’s wood is a half pint, he just tells all the girls it’s a quart…
All the girls prefer if you go metric, anyway.
Once you go metric…
6 inches becomes a meter?
A meter!? Wow, that’s almost a foot long!
A foot is a little less than a liter, right?
Yeah, I think it’s about 20 cubic grams or so.
I think it’s two feet per liter, or twenty grams per foot. Something like that.
EDIT: AHHH! Taco’s in my brain!
:thunk! thunk!:
Get out!
How many decibels is that, thought? I’m trying to cut back.
EDIT: The fact that we both picked 20 is really, really creepy there ghostie.
Yeah, that was weird.
What’s that in hogsheads or furlongs? I can convert either.
Furlongs per fortnight, ideally.
Anyone have change for a hectare? I need some cubits for the vending machine.
Sorry. All I have are drachmas.
Ghostie: Do you need your change in fahrenheit or celsius?
Kelvin!!!
PECIL!
Hobbs!!!
PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!
That’s it. I’m going to start using pudding as a unit of measurement.
“Hey, how far is it to New York from here?”
“Um … ’bout a twelve-hundred puddings.”
Because, you know….ninjas.
Wow, I hope it’s sugar free or you’ll gain 300lbs getting there…
“I wanted to go to New York, but the trip is just too fattening!”
All I can think of this morning is…
Heh. “Wood”. Heh heh.
I’ve been trying to figure out what euphamism FM must be trying to make, but it’s a hard on to figure out.
I don’t know either TM, but I think it’s knotty…
Sparky, hold out your hand. This is a quart of milk. Now let’s compare. Back in the dump truck. This — hey, where did Sparky go?
ghostcat: It’s illegal to sell wood by the “truckload” in my state. You can’t pine for the Fords.
Ralph, ow. Just ow. 8) So good.
:golf clap:
Nice!
I think it’s a legal (and moral) gray area here.
Heh, I “bought” a truckload of wood last fall… It was $20, you bring the truck and pile on as much as you can drive away with. Big Chevy Diesel 3500 did me right. I was ok with that deal.
As a matter of fact, yes, it was on CL.
Indigo and ToB have the box seats today! Enjoy the show!
Two inside?
One of them must be the Box Elder.
Can you Spruce up the bawx while you’re there?
Thanks so much, you’re so Poplar.
I can Palm a few rounds of cleaning if you promise not to birch- slap me.
Spherical Wood Quarts is the name of my Neutral Milk Hotel cover band.
You’d better get your catulator checked, Dan. It was doing some real calculations up there.
Well, if a pint is a pound the world around, Sparky here is selling 2 pounds of wood for $60, which is obviously quite reasonable.
Maybe he’s just looking for someone to pound his wood.
I’ll be in the corner.
Is that the same thing as ‘pound sand’ ?
So this quart of wood. Is it homogonized, or raw? I know Mindee started in on these details, but he just didn’t go the distance.
That’s what she said!
Sorry, Mindfield, hope that ain’t too personal.
That’s the problem with not coming onto this site for a few months. I forgot how to snark…
I ‘wood’ just say that you’re out of practice. 🙂
But hey, I know where you can get a quart to start you back up.
I think I’ll look through the archives; in the meantime, Taco, don’t trying courting the wood, no matter how much it’s pining for.
Yes, a tree pun. That’s all I’ve got.
I’ll avoid doing it, just Fir you, NMN.
Get Spruced up first.
Yew all are driving me crazy. Glad I’m going to the Beech this weekend.
I am not a Beech, I am a son of a Birch!
D’awwww, look at the cute little Dogwood.
Errr….don’t take that out of context.
Glad you’re back, NMN, I’ve been pining for some chocolate. ; )
[OT] From the “What the hell were they thinking?!” files:
I wasn’t really paying attention but there was just an ad on TV for jeans. It had a jingle. It was set to the tune of Salt & Peppa’s “Let’s Talk about Sex.” It went, “Let’s talk about jeans, baby.” There were kids in the ad.
I … I just …
[/OT]
Did you actually expect a television ad to be child friendly? Honestly?
Well, no, but this is an ad. Obviously the agency that created the ad thought it was being clever, but a play on “Let’s Talk About Sex” in an ad for jeans with kids in it? Really?
Today’s special.
Some Ashhat sells wood.
I’ll need to see their paperwork that they’ve been treated for termites, first.
What if the termites have eaten the paperwork, as well?
As a side note, what’s with the avvie, LL?
NMN, Welcome back! And LL just seems to be experiencing a personal black-out.
I’ve been looking for another avvie that ‘speaks’ to me. I may have to go back to the gecko, as all the others are speaking a foreign language.
Okay, Indigo, you never show up when you have been in the box. And ToBScholarly does the same. Darn it all! Punchity punch punch anyway.
G’Night, Marmota monax!
How are they going to fit the pieces of wood in the milk bottles?