YSaC, Vol. 1120: Batteries not included.
2011 November 11
need 6 jars and a styrofoam head
i am looking for 6 jars or more if available
anda styrofoam head would prefer a styrofoam man head but o womans would do
i need them asap
ill post pics of examples of what i am looking for
The only thing I can figure out is that maybe this guy is trying to make an life-sized OPERATION!™ Halloween costume. I was terrified of that game when I was a kid. My next door neighbor had it, and I would cry every time Cavity Sam lit up. (I was also terrible at it, so Cavity Sam lit up a lot.)
Anyway, this styrofoam head doesn’t look a thing like Lionel Richie, so it can’t possibly be that. What uses can y’all think of for a styrofoam head and glowing mason jars?
Thanks, William!
I just finished reading Snuff, so my immediate reaction to the request for jars was disgust. Then I thought that styrofoam head might be related to road head and I found myself in the corner.
Is “road head” what happens when you drive with the window down and your hair gets messed up?
Target practice? Teaching the dog a lesson? Something fun to do at the next board meeting?
And who’s this “o womans” person? And I thought man head was a euphemism. Styrofoam wouldn’t last very long, and it would need a lot of — Wow, corners for everyone today!
It’s all about the —
But why do I have to go to the corner? I was referring to the online store.
Styrofoam jar heads
Look how lovely, floating there
ASAP, please.
Sister Lyle, please
That’s a Haiku? ’cause ASAP*
Be two syllables
*Ah, go ahead, use extreme artistic licsense Sister, please.
Have you never heard
When people say each letter
Instead of one word?
nope nope nope nope nope
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
nope nope nope nada
Hm. Maybe it’s me.
I never sound out that word.
It sounds too silly.
use.ta.was a time
when i heard aye ess aye pee
ayesap be quicker
Such is our culture
Sounding out the acronym
To save two seconds.
Here there be dolphins.
Speaking in Trinary cant
Seekers of an art.
*grabs some chalk and draws a line down the middle of The Box.* You stay on your side, Taco, and I’ll stay on mine. I’ll check back with you when we’re fifteen minutes away from wherever we’re going.
Lara, you can go to his side if you want, but I wouldn’t suggest it.
Just like old times, eh?
Tacos… I’ve got some bad news. The box has a flat tire. I think you’re going to be stuck there for a while. But I’m sure you can think of some fun games to play with these styrofoam man heads, and we have these eerily luminescent mason jars in case it gets dark before help comes or you need something to aid in the last part of the ritual to open the interdimensional portal to…
…whoa. Was I sleeping? I just had the strangest dream.
Do the jars have to be radioactive like the ones in the picture? If so, I’ve got nothing. Perhaps…. nah, nothing.
Cindy B.,
I suspect those jars are not radioactive but are, in fact, glowing that way because that’s how their contents react under UV light.
Hmm… that didn’t really make it any better, did it?
Oh, MacGyver… What on earth are you up to now?
I can understand why someone wants the stuff in The Lost Ark (whether in a jar or something else), but don’t understand where the styrofoam head(s) fit(s) in.
The substance in the jars has to be poured onto the heads. That’s how you make a godhead.
Which has nothing to do (I think) with the “road head” kelli mentioned earlier.
This was obviously posted by the U.S. Marine Corps recruiting office.
Glowy bottles of souls.
I Like.
Two styrofoam heads,
Glowy bottles of doomed souls,
Modern art in hell.
Or creepy sex dolls!
modern art instillation? weird jack-o-lanterns?
Oh, there’s probably something from a still involved somehow.
A still clearly located on a nuclear reservation.
Let’s see what else Sparky has on his shopping list.
– Five dozen live mice
– One marionette, the creepier the better
– Six tuna cupcakes
– One coat made of seaweed, size nine
Seems normal to me.
What?
Oh, like you’ve never made a chimera as a prank on your taxidermist and exorcist friends. Sheesh.
I’ll have my list back now, thank you very much.
While you’re out shopping, could you pick up some eye of newt for me? Can’t keep the stuff on hand. 8)
Windy, eye of newt goes in the cauldron, not on your hand. In fact, you should probably be wearing snakeskin gloves when you handle it.
Eye of newt can be found at the Adnauseumpalooza (aka the GOP debates).
*digs through rarely-used closet in “the room” (don’t ask)*
Let’s see…I’ve got one Santa suit…several pelts from dead (I hope) animals, assorted hermit crab shells, wire…lots and lots of wire..hmmm…
*digs deeper
One jar of fireflies, sadly darkened now, a pair of bowling balls – no holes, maybe they are cannon balls, one white wig, and assorted shoes.
Nope, no styrofoam (or as my mother-in-law calls it “scarfoam”) heads. I’ll call my mom, though, she’s bound to have a few.
Definitely no jars that glow. Now I haz a jealous, though. Look at the pretty pictures.
OT – Storytime!!
When my oldest was three, he wandered into my parents’ closet one day. I wasn’t there, but my sister found him standing in the middle of the closet staring wide-eyed up at the top shelf. The shelf was lined with Styrofoam heads, covered in wigs. My mother lost almost all of her hair in her 20s due to a medical condition, so she’d always worn wigs. My sister, being …..well, heavily influenced by me…couldn’t resist the urge to mess with the mind of a toddler.
“What are doze?”
“Those? Oh this is a head farm. You see, grandma has to grow new heads in here because she has a strange disease that makes her head fall off every night while she sleeps. Every morning she gets a new head out of the closet and paints a face on with her make-up.”
He ran, screaming, from the room.
He still remembers the incident.
He’s a little strange.
I blame her.
/end storytime
Today’s carbonated nasal enema, courtesy of CJ!
haha that’s awesome.
Your mom sounds nice.
When I was a toddler, my mother was employed as housekeeper at the parish house, cooking and cleaning for the priests assigned there. One priest, an Irishman of truly fine wit, had a pair of lady’s manikin legs that he kept in his closet. Apparently when priests would visit, Father Campion would let the lady legs stick out from under the covers at the foot of his bed. When my mom cleaned that room, I would go elsewhere. Those legs scared the hell out of me. Of course, I grew up and caught a fresh dose. 8)
I’m afraid to “over search” to find the original listing–as it could be from the Memphis CL. Just not the Memphis in Tennessee . . .
After all, you can’t just run down to Micheal’s or Jo-Ann Fabrics for canopic jars and a taxidermy form for your recently-deceased pharaoh . . .
Hmm, well, maybe Martha could, but, she’d already have scarab beetles on hand.
Wanted- one pyramid
I’d use the jars to light my way through the woods. The head is only for emergencies, and while I’m not sure the horseman would be fooled, I haven’t heard any better ideas.
Well, it’s clear to me that this is needed for a high school drama club that intends to do the King of the Hill episode called “Of Mice and Little Green Men.” That’s what they need the jars of alien urine for. And the head is for an encore performance of “Plastic White Female.”
Tsk tsk… That what got him into the witness protection program to begin with…
Sister Lyle, Lara, Taco, you’ve been very good in the box all day. Here’s a special pacifying Punchity Punch Punch for each of you!
Good Morning, Camp Pendleton!
This is obviously an ad created by some obscure motor company. They’re trying to test one of their cars, so they need a head covered in [ Possibly. ] radioactive goo to test what would happen if a person was randomly splashed with [ Possibly. ] radioactive goo while driving one of their cars. Wow. They’re pretty thorough with safety protocol nowadays…and I bet the car doesn’t even have seatbelts.
I have six jars and a Styrofoam head, but I’m using them for my “Six Jars and a Styrofoam Head” performance art project. Sorry.