YSaC, Vol. 1134: Don’t come a-knockin’ if the Amadeus is a rockin’

2011 December 1

Title: Camper 28Ft Made by sunnybrook – $3800


Message:

28 ft camper bumper pull year 1993
3 compartments, 1 living room aria
2 bathroom in the middle and last
3 master bedroom in rear
A/C works good
furn-as works good
fresh water holding tank whit pump
coffee maker , microwave , stove
has 2 new tires and 1 new spare
doable tanks of propane up front
1 full the other is em tie
it all so has an owning
call ###-###-####

*clears throat*

And now, the Living Room Aria, by Giuseppe Tortellini:

“My dear Sparkies, this is a list
Of the features my camper possesses,
A list which I have compiled,
Follow along with me.
Of compartments, it has 3,
Of bathrooms, it has 2,
Of spell-check, it has 0.
Among these features are a coffee maker,
A microwave, and a whit pump,
for pumping all of your whits.
Features of every type,
Every shape, and every age.
(As long as that age is 18 years.)
In the summer, the AC works good.
In the winter, the furn-as works good.
I call one propane tank full,
I call one propane tank em tie.
If you want to buy it,
You know what to do.”

(With apologies to Mr. Leporello.)

Thanks for the link, Greg!

59 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 December 1
    LimeLolly permalink

    I enjoy classical music, but it always puts me to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Adores: 4
  2. 2011 December 1

    dan, you da man

    :packs up her snark-filled box and heads off the playground:

    Adores: 3
  3. 2011 December 1
    Cindy B. permalink

    With the possible exception of furn-as (which could be Sparky’s k.d. lang tribute band, hence the lack of capitalization), I couldn’t find a single misspelled word. Misused words? Oh, there’s plenty. But I think Sparky’s spell-check works just fine.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 December 1
      Windrose permalink

      *quietly points to em tie*

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 December 1
        penguin permalink

        [corey] em and tie are both actual words[/corey]

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 December 1
          Windrose permalink

          *Considers deleting penguin’s post. Thinks better of it*

          Adores: 6
    • 2011 December 1

      I was going to point that out. The spell check works, it is Sparky’s brain that does not.

      Adores: 5
  4. 2011 December 1
    Ralph permalink

    Summertime,
    And the livin’ is easy
    3 compartments
    And the A/C works good

    Your propane’s doable
    And your owning’s good lookin’
    So hush little furn-as
    Don’t you fry

    One of these mornings
    You’re going 2 bathroom
    Then you’ll pump your whit
    And you’ll take to the road

    But till that morning
    There’s a’nothing can harm you
    With a new spare tire in your load.

    Adores: 23
  5. 2011 December 1
    penguin permalink

    I want to know about the “owning”. Does that mean it’s haunted by Rebecca?

    Adores: 4
  6. 2011 December 1

    Sparky didn’t write an aria; Sparky wrote a Beat poem. Then again, there could have been an opera version, possibly starring Klaus Nomi.

    Adores: 3
  7. 2011 December 1
    valarie permalink

    I hear 1993 was a good year for bumper pulls. A 28-footer no less.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 December 1
      camille permalink

      Yeah, there was a bumper crop that year.

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 December 1

      Ooh, pretty gay fish!

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 December 1
        Lola permalink

        How can you tell that fish is gay just by looking at it? 8)

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 December 1

          Well, it’s purple, and purple = gay. I thought we settled that like 15 years ago.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 December 1
          Lola permalink

          I thought that pooped-on rock color and humans of same gender naked-attraction were the clues. I’m so confused.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 December 1
        valarie permalink

        I’m just showing my support for gay fish everywhere. Hey, I’ve found a cause & I will stick with it. Poor Mike….*sniff*

        Adores: 8
        • 2011 December 1

          Fish sticks? Kanye?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 December 1

          oops, just read yesterday’s post, NOW I get the refrence.

          Adores: 5
  8. 2011 December 1
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    “doable tanks of propane up front”

    In my head, this is a conversation between two drunk dudes, leaned up against a bar, 30 minutes before closing time, checking out the females that are left in the club. But then, I’m a perv and my brain just naturally bends that direction.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 December 1
      valarie permalink

      Oh lordy…yes, 2 propane tanks right up front. Very do-able. And my vintage bumper pull makes it a complete package.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 December 1

      Hey, baby – has anyone ever told you that you are as hot as a pair of metal tanks filled with highly flammable gases?

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 December 1
        valarie permalink

        Well, the explosive gas is true. That does not qualify me as hot, however.

        Adores: 9
        • 2011 December 1

          They just need a little Cozy Fan Toot.

          Adores: 7
  9. 2011 December 1
    Windrose permalink

    penguin would have made it into the box today if not for my just made up rule about not allowing it two days in a row. Monica and Lola, keep the curtains drawn in there if you don’t want it to show up on YouTube. I’m looking at you, D! 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 December 1
      penguin permalink

      You just got your feathers ruffled because I went all Corey on you. jk

      ETA: I appreciate being considered but definitely think Monica and Lola should have the box all to themselves.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 December 1
        Windrose permalink

        8) Nothing personal, pengie. If we can’t corey each other, who can we corey?

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 December 1

      Hmmm, I’ll just snark every other day from now on. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 December 1
        Windrose permalink

        No, you can only take off the days after you are in the box. Now sit!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 December 1

          *wags*

          Adores: 3
  10. 2011 December 1

    Camper of Sunnybrook farm

    Author: Kate Doable Whitpump

    Adores: 15
  11. 2011 December 1
    Lola permalink

    Included in this performance, along with the living room aria are the shower solo, the rest stop recitatives, and, the audience favorite, the fold-out bed overture.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 December 1

      You forgot the Motorzart carcerto for Snarksichord in em minor.

      Adores: 13
    • 2011 December 1
      Cindy B. permalink

      You all so forgot the doable ex machina.

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 December 1

        Cindy – I throw many doors at you. I cannot like this enough.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 December 1
          Cindy B. permalink

          Doors? I guess I don’t hang out in this cantina enough to know if this is good or bad (though Doable Ex Machina would be a great Doors cover band). But thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 December 1
          LimeLolly permalink

          Like = Adores = Doors

          You’re okay until they start flinging them with a trebuchet.

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 December 1
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Rest Stop Recitative is the name of my Lyle Lovett and His Large Band cover band.

      Adores: 5
  12. 2011 December 1
    LimeLolly permalink

    3 master bedroom

    I only have one cat. Where am I supposed to find two more masters?

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 December 1
      Lola permalink

      CL. But they’re not calling it “adult services” these days. You’ll have to get more creative.

      Adores: 6
  13. 2011 December 1

    Camper of unusual size? I don’t think it exists.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 December 1
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Does it yell, EVERYBODY MOVE! when you press the horn?

      Adores: 8
  14. 2011 December 1
    LimeLolly permalink

    OT/ In a funny twist of life imitating YSaC, I saw a Geico commercial last night where the gecko was…. Line Dancing. I thought it was hilarious. /OT.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 December 1
      Bombdude permalink

      But did he do the Dougie? (I saw that one too… Don’t like Geico, love their commercials)

      Adores: 2
  15. 2011 December 1
    penguin permalink

    On Craigslist did Sparky
    A camper twenty-eight feet decree:
    Where an aria, in the living room, sung
    Three compartments, a 1993 bumper pull hung
    Over a doable tank that was em tie.

    So twice baths and three rooms for sleep
    A coffee maker, microwave and stove you can keep
    And there were tires two with one spare;
    In addition was a water holding tank whit pump,
    A furn as works good and cool air.
    Call ###-###-#### if you want this dump.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 December 1
      Lola permalink

      Penguin, I am glad you are back. Please comment more whenever possible.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 December 1
        penguin permalink

        Thanks. I had no choice but to come back here. The liquor store wouldn’t trade for my vintage cereal boxes and actually called the police when I tried to earn some whiskey money by putting up a sign offering mine hors rides.

        Adores: 10
  16. 2011 December 1
    subbie_333 permalink

    > 28 ft camper bumper pull year 1993

    So many possibilities with a little punctuation. i choose to start with a bumper that is 28 feet. Now, is that long or wide or both? Next, when i pull year 1993 i get: Bill Clinton became president, the World Trade Center is bombed, Branch Davidian is raided by the ATF, we hear about Lorena Bobbitt for the first time, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” starts, Taylor Momsen is born, and, Andre the Giant dies. um, why am i doing this?

    > 3 compartments, 1 living room aria
    > 2 bathroom in the middle and last
    > 3 master bedroom in rear

    my counting skills need updating

    > furn-as works good

    Typo – missing an “s”. i should know – one of my fetishes.

    > doable tanks of propane up front

    Yep, another fetish.

    > it all so has an owning

    Y’all aren’t ready to hear about that fetish.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 December 1
      Lola permalink

      Subbie, please feel welcome to trade your quilt square for a Gravatar and continue commenting.
      Keep commenting like that and we’ll make sure you get sent to the corner, just like the rest of us.
      Thanks!

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 December 1

      That sparky has one furn-ass! yep

      Adores: 4
  17. 2011 December 1
    Fl'amme Appat permalink

    Oh yeah baby! Those tanks (of propane) up front are so doable!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 December 1
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I think I saw something about that in the King of the Hill slash fiction I went looking for was tied to a chair by Mike Judge’s evil twin and forced to read aloud.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 December 1

        Is that the one where he goes around town pimpin’ out Sweet Lady Propane?

        I think that one is on my list, right under the Snoopy/Woodstock slashfic.

        Adores: 4
      • 2011 December 1

        Every so often some of my online friends like to torture me by brining up a “sexy” picture of Hank Hill lounging on a couch nude *shudder* Oh Rule 34, I often loathe you…

        Adores: 3
  18. 2011 December 1
    CapnMac permalink

    [corey]It being after four here in CST, and thus, will only be read by our international corespondents and people from the future, a “translation” of the presumed product Spark’ wants to flog:

    28 foot long camping trailer made by Sunnybrook in 1993.
    It is a “bumper pull” (this differentiates from goose-neck and fifth-wheel trailers)

    This trailer has three compartments, the first is a living area; the second having a bathroom, and the last is a dedicated bedroom area (the living area probably has fold-down or adjustable seating for additional bedding).

    The a/c unit is in good repair, the (fixed to the trailer) furniture is in “as is” condition (charitably, we could infer no undue user modifications); and operates as designed.

    The fresh water tank has a pump (presumably electric, which is less work than hand-pumped)

    The sale includes the coffee maker, microwave, and stove.

    All tires are new, including the spare.

    Mounts double propane tanks (size not noted) on the front of the trailer. Two propane tanks are included in the sale, one filled, the other not.

    The trailer has a swing-out awning as well.

    All of which are important data for a prospective trailer purchaser.
    Omitted are important items like whether an electrical generator is included. Also omitted is the size of the propane tanks (real important).
    Further, there is no mention of refrigeration (another important item).
    Lastly, not one word spared for whether this accommodation has a current State Inspection (this can be very important).

    Now, another worry I’d have is that a 28′ trailer ought to be a two-axle trailer, which means we only know that two of the putative four tires are new.

    As a former (boat) trailer operator, I’d have some pointy questions about when was the last time the trailer wheel hubs were last pulled and greased. And, of how many miles were on the current set of bearings in those wheel hubs. I’d ask some pointy questions about the trailer braking system, too–since trailer of that size generally must have some sort of brakes (even if–shudder–only inertial ones). There is no mention of what class hitch the towing vehicle needs, either.

    And, that’s my aria upon that.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 5
  19. 2011 December 1

    Master bedroom in the rear? Or master your rear in the bedroom?

    Adores: 2
  20. 2011 December 1

    The YSaC convention will also have to include a sing-along session.

    I’m so excited!

    Adores: 1
  21. 2011 December 2
    Digitalaxis permalink

    Well, I’m glad to see the stove has two new tires. I hate it when I have to get spares.

    Adores: 2
  22. 2011 December 2
    Windrose permalink

    Monica and Lola, I can’t wait for your memoirs regarding your day together in the box, talking about gay purple fish and campers of unusual size. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Sunnybrook!

    Adores: 0

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