YSaC, Vol. 1326: Wiener Blöd
Hello, friends – Billy Mays here for the Wienwarmer! Is your Wien cold? Do you wish you had some way to keep it warm? Well, guess what! I have a GREAT new product for you. The Wienwarmer!
FREE 3 YEAR OLD WIENWAMER
FREE TO A GOOD HOME A 3 YEAR OLD PURE BREED WIENWAMER DOG IS A MALE PLEASE CALL OR TEXT
Also, not only is this Wienwarmer only three years old, and pure breed, it comes with a dog! The dog is male, but that’s the only information we have on it, sorry. But it can be yours for the low, low price of free! Call now, operators are standing by to sell you the Wienwarmer!
(By the way, in case you were wondering, a Wien is a type of filter used in accelerators to sort particles by velocity. Typically the problem is keeping them cold, not warm, but hey – better to be prepared, right?)
Thanks Tara!
What if dog can’t phone or text? Is it okay if dog emails?
Tails of the Vienna Woody.
Och, sarky dinnae ken wein wamer beit naught but “weight belly” ane braw Erse Gaelic.
Beit like doilleir sparkii tae vend doggits ae spayr tyre.
E’en ae e’ry kennat t’ doggits ae spalt “Weisenheimers”!
An’ they beit wame-teódhadh ane’t auld cainnt.
In Scot’s English/Erse:
Wein ≈ weight, weighty, weighing
and
Wame ≅ belly, womb, abdomen.
Ergo, weinwame is a belly weight. Which approximates what it might feel like to have a Weimereiner stand on one’s abdominal area.
Mind you, were Sparky a wayward lass, this could be a “pure breed” cur. Hence, the need to give it away. Given that the sparkii find CL capable of all sorts of machinations, foundling home is not a large logic stretch.
Snort. You said erse. Giggle.
Does the Cap’n have a sister?
Very odd synchronicity in that the boys on the radio were japing about a fellow this morning trying to sell a used hot dog roller in some local classified section.
Something about it being a commercial unit, and whether or not it had been cleaned (ever); then of just what sort of house hold needed to keep 3-5 pounds of wieners/wurst/hot dogs cooking on a regular basis.
From what my sister tells me, any household with one or more teenage boy in it could use a way to cook that much food at once.
As someone who used to be a teenage boy with two teenage brothers, I can verify that statement.
Who put the dog in the Wienwamerdingdong?
“WIENWAMER”
I read that as “weiner whammer”. Maybe it’s cause I’m a girl and I think jokes about acts of violence to the wee wee are hilarious.
“Weinwhammer” as a synonym for “wanker” is now my new favorite insult word. Going to Urban Dictionary now to add it.
Oh man, I started laughing about the “acts of violence to the wee wee” and then had to explain to my husband what I was laughing about. Did not go over well
I believe I know someone in the YSaC Friends Network that could use the Ween Wammer right now.
I hope it’s me. Do you think that it comes with remote control capability?
I’m thinking it would be a good alarm clock.
A “wienwamer” is actually a kitchen utensil, similar to a steak tenderiser but smaller, and used to reshape sausages so that they don’t roll around on the grill, and can thus be cooked evenly instead of burning on one side and remaining raw on the other. With the advent of the George Formby all-in-one grilling machine and ukelele, the wienwamer has fallen somewhat out of fashion, hence the free gift offered with this one. In the past, of course, you would have been given the wienwamer free when you bought the dog.
Ah, nostalgia. It’s not what it used to be.
I still prefer wamming weins by hand.
There’s just no replacing the personal touch, is there?
I didn’t know you ladies were into that
pb&j, psp, bdxm, bdbdbdbd How’s it hanging Buck?you know, that thing.Bird in black leather, monkey with chain.
Cool whip in hand, causing such pain.
And I love it, Yes I love it.
Oooh how I love it.
You know, that thing. You’re into that? Really?
Brer – I believe you are referring to M & Ms.
Mmm, chocolate.
A lady never tells.*
*Unless you get her drunk first.
Mucho doors for the Buck Rodgers ref…
“WIENWAMER”
Anagram: Wear me, win.
That might be okay as long as you don’t kill me first.
“PURE BREED”
Anagram: Rub deeper.
To avoid the broom, I think I’ll head for the corner.
I seem to be at a loss as to what to call you “gals” as a group. I’d rather be charming than get chased out of the lounge with a broom. I was going to use “girls” because funky used that. “Wimmin what don’t know how to measure” is out, I know, because I read that thread. “Females” seems to be too broad of a term. I thought about using “vixen”, but that’s our word and shouldn’t be used so freely in mixed company. So, is “ladies” proper enough?
I’m happy with either “duchess” or “your majesty”.
I think “supreme ones” has a nice ring to it.
BianchiSound already has dibs on “goddess”, so that’s out.
I answer to “Empress of the Universe.”
I answer to “Skittles”.
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings here.
Or “CJ” for short.
You may call me….
…when?
It’s a pity this dog is not pure bread. Bread would come in handy for serving the sausage once it’s been wienwamed.
Ok, I’m not up on dog breeds, so I googled WIENWAMER. Google asked, “Did you mean WEINERAMER”. I clicked on that link. Then google asked, “Did you mean WEIMARANER “, so I clicked again. The first brought up this ad and this ad on YSac. The second brought up a dog breed in Youtube videos. The third brought up a dog breed on an AKC website. But don’t laugh. I’m a purebred Audax and you probably had to google that. Maybe?
Billy Mays? Did you hitch a ride on the Negotiator’s surf board just to come back and hawk this product?
Is the afterlife so bad as all that?
Zombie Billy Mays, here for BRAAAAAIIINNSSSS!
Oxi-Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiins?
Or Sham-Brains-OW! ?
The lion sleeps tonight.
Ooo! I get it now!
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
In the snark lounge, the smokey snark lounge
The not.a.lion sleeps tonight!
Weimariner
Wee mariner
We marines
Onward doggy soldiers… HOO RAH!
Is that you, Anthony?
Anyone who cannot spell the breed of their dog needs to be neutered.
If you can’t spell the breed, then don’t own the breed. That is a good policy.
The dog I currently own is a Frankfurter, although most people call it a Hot. It’s not purebred, it’s a mix (chicken, beef,pork). I used to have a Polska, but it succumbed to a grisly end by the gnashing and grinding of teeth.
…and if you swallow that story, I have a nice pack of snausages for you real cheap.
Muddy, I’d like to keep the oysters where they are.
See? You did just fine. You may keep your cajones.
Whew!
*wags tail*
Ween Warmer. http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh246/tina_tolhurst/A.jpg
Digi, I hope you and the missus enjoyed your day in the box, all alone, no cameras hidden in the armwar, no microphones in the tail of the desiccated lizard. Totally and completely unobserved and alone. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Barb Shepard!