YSaC, Vol. 1494: I won’t do it. You can’t make me.
[date] – Photographer needed for Kids Party
Child’s party needs photographer for event. Its a VIP Justin Beaver Party and child needs personal paparazzi photographer to follow them around for 1 hour at there Justin Beaver VIP Party.
The photographer will ask questions like, how are you, what are you wearing, who are you with, etc. Make the child feel like start in front of friends.
Date:
[date (sorry, you missed it)]Times:
4:30 – 5:30pm (may go longer)Pay:
$50 a hourPlease have external flash! MUST wear all black
Please email:
Name:
Email:
Phone:Thanks in advance.
Oh, dear. This would normally be the point where, if I knew any of Justin Bieber’s trite and overproduced songs, I would make up some clever lyrics to one of them. I could, I suppose, use the internet to look up the pablum that he’s responsible for, but oh wow, look at the time; I have to go floss the cat.
So instead I’ll leave you with the result of a Google image search:
Thanks, MF!
*blink* Oh, dear, look at the time! No snark for me today, I have to go. . . rotate the cockatiels.
Wow, look at my wrist! I have to go … verb the nouns.
I have to brain.
I have to go . . . clean all the things!
Some years later:
Teenager needs therapist. MUST NOT wear anything black.
I always hated it when my parents made me feel like start in front of my friends.
I always that “start” was when you tried to pass gas but instead made brown in your pants.
Um, wait, I think I’m thinking about something else.
“I always hated it when my parents made me feel like start in front of my friends” But admit it- it made you a better person, didn’t it?
Yes, it built character. But I will never make my own kids feel like start in front of their friends unless they are okay with it.
I felt like a start once. I told my mom to stop.
I have to admit, my childhood would have been a lot less interesting if my parents had hired a stalker rather than making me go out into the world and find my own.
Poor Taco. I bet you had to sew your own squirrel costume, too.
He called that phase, “Therapy Time.”
We just call it “Thursday.”
Oh dear; look at the time. I have to go find a website that won’t make me feel yucky.
Sparky should have just made it easy and advertised for a ninja pedophile who likes to take pictures.
You can get them by the shuriken-load at ninjapedophilewholikestotakepictures.com
You’re a helper, Digi!
😀
I often wear black. But alas, I did not come factory-installed with an external flash. I’m flashy on the inside, though.
I don’t often wear black, but when I do, it’s not to make some snot-nosed brat feel like the snowflake his parents think he is!
I don’t often wear black, but when I do, I prefer to do it for sexy-time with Hubby Monkey.
Stay perverted, my friends.
I don’t think you’re missing much. An external flash can have unpleasant legal consequences.
f(x) where x ≡ -√0º
Just how busy ARE you? Have you had your teeth capped? Who mats your pelt? How’s the new lodge coming, and how many rooms will it have? Is it true you’re switching from poplar to willow? You were recently seen on the pond in the company of a kit; any comment? How much castoreum do your testicles produce? And what’s up with that tail?
This is the new Phrase of the Day!
Soup du jour
Castoreum is produced in the castor glands, not the testicles. This has been your endocrine exudate elucidation for the day.
I know — picky, picky.
Will I have to provide my own life size card board Justin Beaver for the shoot? If so, drmk, does this picture come in ” fat head”?
Isn’t Justin Beaver a prOn star?
I believe you may be thinking of his twin, Justinna Beaver.
Either way… Chris Hanson may be staking out this party.
I thought his twin’s name was Anita.
mudsy – you’re thinking of the Draink sisters, Anita and her twin Letshava.
So the kid pretends to be Justin and the P.P.P is supposed to make him feel like a start? Easy — continually fire the flash in his eyes, block his moves, ask inane questions, and sing “baby, baby” loudly and off-key to drown out any protests. It helps if the P.P.P. has teenage female assistants who scream in his ears.
The whole idea is a dam travesty.
This reminds me of when I was a kit. I got to go to a Johnny Cats party. He played all of the classics.
I walk the lion
Someday mewing coming ’round
Cat in black
Folsom kitten blues
I’ve done every stare
Cat named Blue
Orange tabby special
Big liver
String of fur
Kitty ate Bass
(Eat) Spiders in the sky
One fish at a time
Yep, those were the days.
[censored]
My birthday suit
*points at everyone in snark lounge*
So, when do I start?
Alive.
Socks.
I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
Looks like he beliebered all over himself.
How can Sparky spell ‘paparazzi’ correct and then mis-spell the surname of that teenage twat? ***Deskhead***
For the benefit of the Amuricans reading this twat = fanny (in the British definition of the word)
Or “female front-bottom”.
But my trenchcoat is gray.
I was a beaver once, but I never changed my name. It was only for a day.
Nice beaver!
Thanks. I just had it stuffed.
C””J!! Look this way, please! Who are you seeing now? Is it true you changed designers because you didn’t like your dress for the Grammys? Will you be on the Riviera this summer? Did Liam Neeson agree to show you around? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Dam it!