YSaC, Vol. 1518: You’re welcome, oughout!

2013 May 22

Ready for a relationship!!!!!!!


Okay Now i am seeking yet again, When i thot I needed associated with an individual however turns out many people did not receive the “ready regarding relationship” element. Thus in case oughout r buying pal in order to console anyone or fwb ths seriously isn’t that.
Now i am soo prepared to stay a partnership, When i pass up getting an individual that cell phone calls me merely becoz many people pass up me, or acquire me to the movies or simply cool in the home as well as chat. When i pass up the opinion of being inside enjoy, staying kept as well as maintained. Very well I could summarize myslef since quite amusing, very good audience plus a dedicated person… Now i am gemini by the way consequently whatver oughout noticed abt geminis is true. Now i am certainly not seeking to “kick that cool, observe where by that moves, or nsa” When i dont beverage, fumes or have just about any animals coz involving allergic reactions. I’m college intelligent well, i can hold way up a good talk, I enjoy prepare typically heslthy things coz ive been getting significant abt my personal health and workouts. I’m black female, 5’4 as well as Now i am certainly not ghetto or hoodrat oughout will never be embarassed as soon as going for walks beside me, I could hold my own, personal, have my own, personal auto career as well as appropriate consequently Now i am certainly not in search of handouts oughout preserve yrs as well as I will preserve acquire. Exactly what Now i am certainly not in search of is actually an individual that’s sad within their marriage/rship, or oughout merely split up using 12 months spouse Now i am not any recovery! You need to have targets or something going into 12 months living, always be medication n condition totally free…. focus on condition totally free! not any animals.
In case oughout r interested e-mail me using quality photographs SIMPLY NO PHOTOS SIMPLY NO RESPOND, prefer men upto 36yrs, ethnic background is actually non component my spouse and i dont descriminate you should be fresh hunting n presentable, not any newborn mom dramas make sure you. Fit “interested”in the niche line in order to marijuana junk e-mail as well as tell me a little abt yrself, When i dont thoughts unlimited mailing right up until many of us acquire at ease ample. Thank oughout regarding looking at.

Warning: Do NOT under any circumstances, try to read this whole post out loud in one breath. Also, don’t try to imagine it being read by Sean Connery, William Shatner, Madeline Kahn, or Kermit the Frog. Do not, under any circumstances, read this post while drinking a beverage or while in a place where snickering is discouraged.

You know what? Just don’t read it at all. I’ll give you the highlights:

This person is ready for a relationship. They also have a spouse, who will apparently be sharing this relationship.

This person is willing to write approximately a billion words, but doesn’t have time to spell out “abt.”

This person does not beverage. Although I suspect the post might make more sense if I were beveraging at the moment.

They are also not any recovery.

If you wish to date this person, you must be condition totally free. Also not any animals.

You know what, I give up. I’m going to go beverage.

(drmk’s response on reading this post over my shoulder: “I don’t even.” Yep.)

Thanks, Mike!

67 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 May 22
    kelli permalink

    I think I solemate Now I must again 20 cases unfiltered honey No foreign bodies

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 May 22
      nojazzhere permalink

      I’ll be back to comment in a few minutes… but first I must go beverage.

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        I beverage already; but it not sufficient suddenly is.

        Adores: 4
  2. 2013 May 22

    “Oughout” is Anglo-Saxon for “Be afraid; be very afraid.”*

    *Possibly not true.

    Adores: 6
  3. 2013 May 22

    *reads part of post…hyperventilates*

    Wha….?

    *tries to read it again, this time with one eye shut*

    I just…what the…?

    *stands across room, on one leg, covers one eye to read post*

    Feck it, Imajust go over here and medication…and maybe beverage, too.

    Adores: 17
    • 2013 May 22

      Beveraging would definitely improve things.

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 May 22

        ghostie – I’m not sure just beveraging would do it, so I’m going to medication too, just to be on the safe side.

        Adores: 4
        • 2013 May 22

          *passes lit medication* This stuff’s pretty good.

          Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 22

          :inhales:

          That’s good aspirin.

          Adores: 13
      • 2013 May 22
        The Most Interesting Man in the World permalink

        I don’t beverage often, but when I do, I beverage XX YSAC

        Adores: 8
  4. 2013 May 22

    The plot was nonexistent and the characters lacked depth but as far as fanfics go, I’ve read worse.

    Wait, this was a personal ad? Damn.

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 May 22
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Actually, I’m pretty sure this was the resultant output when someone merged Snooki’s brainwave patterns into the HAL 9000’s personality core.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 May 22

        Which is a fair description for ninety-five percent of the fics I’ve read.

        Adores: 2
      • 2013 May 22

        Daisy, Daisy
        Give me your answer, do.
        I’m half crazy
        To stay in a partnership with you.

        Adores: 5
  5. 2013 May 22
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Fresh hunting indeed… I thought most serial killers had better grammar and spelling skills. But then again, this claim to ” not a hoodrat” sounds dubious at best. Not.A.Hoodrat.*

    * this may or may not be true

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 May 22
      nojazzhere permalink

      O.K., I ‘m back (and refreshingly beveraged) Well, I thought I had finally found my soul-mate, (much to my wife’s consternation) until I got to the line,”not seeking to” kick that cool,observe by where that moves,or nsa.”” That’s like my ultimate joss. Oh, and believe me, I definitely have targets, and they are definitely not animals…. I think I’ll go beverage some more.

      Adores: 4
  6. 2013 May 22

    Phase 1: Disable spell-check and CR/LF.
    Phase 2: Write personal ad.
    Phase 3: Run personal ad through Google Translate into Aramaic.
    Phase 4: Run personal ad through Babelfish back into English.
    Phase 5: Repeat Phases 3 and 4 — 13 times, using different languages each time.
    Phase 6: ?????
    Phase 7: Profit!

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 May 22
      nojazzhere permalink

      TC… for Phase 1: can you disable “sense-check” ? That might explain things. Good morning Meg AND Windy.

      Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 22
      CapnMac permalink

      It does (half) read as ESL-composed, just using the inherited speelczhek of a device that is a third, fourth, fifth hand-me-down.
      All not scanned for tl;dr
      I also have to wonder if one of the translation steps was voice-to-text, too.

      [stops to contemplate using the voice feature in translate to “talk” to the translation app on my cellphone, and decides to beverage instead]

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 22
        Bombdude permalink

        Yeah, don’t ever allow Google voice to speech-to-text your voice mail and text/email it to you. That reads like… well, yep, kinda like this ad…

        Adores: 2
  7. 2013 May 22

    You know what? Screw thi-

    Oh, very sneaky, Sparky. You almost got me.

    I’m gonna go beverage so that you don’t try those shenanigans again.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 May 22
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I hate it when I try to snark and accidentally the whole Sparkette.

      Adores: 5
  8. 2013 May 22
    CindyB permalink

    I, too, am college intelligent well, but I’ll never be able to hold way up a good talk like Sparkette here.

    Think I’ll just go fit “bedazzled” in the niche line and go eat my heslthy breakfast then simply cool in my home. Oughout, indeed.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 22
      CindyB permalink

      And holy cow, I used Bing to translate it to Klingon then back (?) to English. It’s even more fun that way.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        ¡Ker’plah!

        Adores: 1
        • 2013 May 22
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          [redshirt_corey]
          Qupla’!
          [/redshirt_corey]

          Adores: 1
  9. 2013 May 22

    Acquire me to the movies,
    Let my seats among the stars,
    Let me monkey in my life
    As Jupiter wears drawers,

    In other words,
    Condition free.
    In other words,
    No hoodrats.

    Adores: 14
    • 2013 May 22

      My favorite Frankie song…utterly destroyed.

      First puppies, and now this.

      You, my dear, are evil incarnate.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 May 22

        And when I beverage, I am Evil Incarbonate.

        Adores: 15
        • 2013 May 22
          Bombdude permalink

          An when I have gas, I am Evil Bicarbonate…

          Adores: 7
        • 2013 May 22
          CapnMac permalink

          There’s a thematic pun on Darth Carbonite, but I have not beverage yet.

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 May 22

          And when I run into Boba Fett, I am Evil in Carbonite!

          Bam!

          Thanks for the eye-deer, Cap’n.

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 May 22
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          Bicarbonate Evil is the name of my Evil Dead Volcano cover movie. Patent pending. Patent pending.

          Adores: 2
  10. 2013 May 22

    What I Have Learned at YSaC:

    1. Rebecca is evil. Possibly beverages evil daily.
    2. Marijuana junk may not mean what I always thought it meant.
    3. Translating this into any language and then in to English does not help me brain it.
    4. nojazzy has a wife. Named Meg?
    5. personal auto career sounds like a complicated way to say t-shit time.
    6.I’ma go beverage some more. Just wanted to get even.

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 May 22

      7. C” ” J likes puppies.

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 May 22
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        8. MMNN likes bacon

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 22
          camille permalink

          9. Bacontini likes de ladies.

          Adores: 6
        • 2013 May 22
          kelli permalink

          10. Most of us beverage.

          Adores: 4
      • 2013 May 22
        Bombdude permalink

        11. Most of us like pie/pi…

        Adores: 5
        • 2013 May 22
          CapnMac permalink

          I prefer cake.
          Well, tarts.
          But not the over-slutty ones–only the ones with genache.
          Vive l’joyeux d’tortes

          Adores: 6
        • 2013 May 22

          12. Cap’n Mac likes to put chocolate on slutty tarts.

          Adores: 12
      • 2013 May 22

        …and pie…C””J likes puppies and pie, but not puppy pie…no, I do not like puppy pie. But, I would share my pie with a squeedorable puppy any day.

        Adores: 5
    • 2013 May 22
      nojazzhere permalink

      Ha! Windrose! Fooled ya!!!! The wife comment was literary license for YSaC purposes, only. Not foolin’ about beveraging, though.. In fact, think I’ll beverage some more now, just to maintain parity. (is that another way to say party?) Also, Meg is just “Meg”. Never met. Shows you can’t believe everything you read on the interwebnet. Ha!Ha!Ha!

      Adores: 4
    • 2013 May 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Marijuana junk may not mean what I always thought it meant.

      Gives new meaning when the random guy yells “Suck it!”

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Yeah, you be careful around Meg, you’ll get Brian all riled up (or be drawn into one of Stewie’s Schemes).

        Adores: 2
  11. 2013 May 22
    Ralph permalink

    I also have my own appropriate consequently; what a coincidence! However, I avoid anyone who will preserve acquire.

    Adores: 1
  12. 2013 May 22
    mudslicker permalink

    It reads so much more cerebrally as Beat poetry.

    Ready for a relationship!!!!!!!
    ________________________________________

    Okay
    Now i am seeking yet again,
    When i thot I needed associated with an individual
    however turns out many people did not receive the
    “ready regarding relationship” element.

    Thus in case oughout r buying pal
    in order to console anyone or fwb
    ths seriously isn’t that.

    Now i am soo prepared to stay a partnership,
    When i pass up getting an individual that cell phone
    calls me merely becoz many people pass up me,
    or acquire me to the movies
    or
    simply cool in the home as well as chat.

    When i pass up the opinion of being inside enjoy,
    staying kept as well as maintained.
    Very well I could summarize myslef since quite amusing,
    very good audience plus a dedicated person…

    Now i am gemini by the way
    consequently whatver oughout noticed
    abt geminis is true.
    Now i am certainly not seeking
    to
    “kick that cool,
    observe where by that moves,
    or
    nsa”

    When i dont beverage,
    fumes
    or
    have just about any animals
    coz involving allergic reactions.

    I’m college intelligent well,
    i can hold way up a good talk,
    I enjoy prepare typically heslthy things coz
    ive been getting significant abt
    my personal
    health
    and
    workouts.

    I’m black female, 5’4 as well as Now
    i am certainly not ghetto or hoodrat oughout
    will never be embarassed as soon as going for walks beside me,
    I could hold my own,
    personal,
    have my own,
    personal auto career
    as well as appropriate consequently

    Now i am certainly not in search of handouts oughout
    preserve yrs as well as I will preserve acquire.

    Exactly what Now
    i am certainly not in search of is actually an individual
    that’s sad
    within their marriage/rship, or oughout
    merely split up using 12 months spouse

    Now i am not any recovery!
    You need to have targets or something
    going into 12 months living,
    always be medication n condition totally free….
    focus on condition totally free!
    not any animals.

    In case oughout r interested e-mail me
    using quality photographs
    SIMPLY NO PHOTOS SIMPLY NO RESPOND,
    prefer men upto 36yrs,
    ethnic background is actually non component
    my spouse and i dont descriminate
    you should be
    fresh
    hunting n presentable,
    not any newborn mom dramas make sure you.
    Fit “interested”in the
    niche line
    in order to
    marijuana
    junk e-mail as well as tell me a little abt yrself,

    When i dont thoughts
    unlimited mailing
    right up until many of us acquire at ease ample.

    Thank oughout regarding looking at.

    Power to the People!!

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 May 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Ow… again.

      It does have somewhat of a beat to it though…

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 22

        But can you dance to it?

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 May 22
          Bombdude permalink

          I can’t dance to *real* music, so I’m probably not the measuring stick you seek.

          Adores: 2
      • 2013 May 22
        mudslicker permalink

        It’s all in the meter, man.

        Dig it.

        Adores: 4
    • 2013 May 22
      CapnMac permalink

      Ach, sae thees beit hae Ewan McTeagle saun’ ane yee giftie ‘een 2S 9d, then? Braw daft sarky boroughaks!

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 May 22

        Once you’ve reached Gaelic levels, it’s time to stop beveraging.

        Adores: 7
        • 2013 May 22
          mudslicker permalink

          Gaelic Levels is IF’s Irish Rovers metal-based cover band.

          Adores: 5
        • 2013 May 22
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          I thought it was the Pogues cover band

          Adores: 1
      • 2013 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Ah’ve nie begunnt t’drink’t eno, dinnae fash it, wee ghostie.

        Adores: 3
    • 2013 May 22
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      It reads so much more cerebrally as Beat poetry.

      It reads even more cerebrally as palsy.

      Adores: 7
      • 2013 May 22
        mudslicker permalink

        You know that’s not fair to palsy, DDoD.

        🙁

        Adores: 1
    • 2013 May 22

      *prints out mudsy’s pome*
      *puts pome on floor and gets rug beater*

      *beat**beat**beat**beat**beat**beat*

      *takes off beret*

      Garsoon, a beverage, toot sweat!

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 May 22
        mudslicker permalink

        That would SO be what Allen Ginsberg would do!!!

        Adores: 1
      • 2013 May 22
        CapnMac permalink

        If it make the toot sweat, then bon bons roulez-vous!

        Adores: 1
  13. 2013 May 22
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I could hold my own

    I could do that!
    That is about the only thing in this ad I understand. Although I don’t understand why it was stated in the ad.

    You need to have targets or something going into 12 months living

    Hmm, I have another six months to go before going into 12 months living. So, I have some time before I need targets or something.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2013 May 22
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I think we should all get together and beverage a couple of kegs, bacontinis, and some marijuana junk, by the end of the night our college educations should hold their own and translate this beverage garbled wall of text into human speak. We’ll just have to tape it so we remember in the morning. There’s this car that runs on water, man!

    Adores: 1
  15. 2013 May 22
    Aphid permalink

    Mrs. Yoda writes a personal ad?

    Adores: 3
  16. 2013 May 23

    camille, I always think of you as the slightly less insane one in the group. I always think of the box as a garden full of fairies, and the lounge as a good place to pick up virtual friends. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, YSaC Junkies!

    Adores: 0
    • 2013 May 23
      nojazzhere permalink

      Windrose- I am NOT(!!!!!!) a fairy!!! I’ve just been going through kind of a dry spell…. But maybe that will turn around… although the lounge doesn’t look like it holds much promise. Oh!, and yes, please, I’ll have some punch. May as well start the morning right. Rise and shine, morning maniacs!

      Adores: 0

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