YSaC, Vol. 1531: We can sing “Alice’s Restaurant”.
2013 June 10
Nice rare hand carved dough chest – $450
This is a one of a kind chest owned by president Regan comes with an autographed picture; authentic picture.
Please text or e.mail Johanna xxx.xxx.xxxx.
There are other pictures of this dough chest (turns out that’s actually a thing — who knew?), but there’s nothing particularly notable about the chest itself. It’s obviously the provenance and the picture of our 40th president that is such a draw about this piece. Let’s look at the authentic autographed picture of the good ol’ Gipper, shall we?
Well, huh. Let’s pause for eighteen and a half minutes of silence, shall we, to mourn the demise of Johanna’s reading comprehension?
Thanks, Donald!
You could get anything you’d want
During Nixon’s presidency,
For lots of money!
You could bribe anyone you’d want
If they liked the price you brought.
I don’t want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don’t want a tickle
‘Cause I’d rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don’t want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy…cle
Lyrics were brilliant back in the day….
Well, according to Beanie Seagal and Jay-Z, this kinda thing could be hazardous to your health:
“Think you get some dough for my community chest?
Blaow blaow two to yo chest
Ya’ll niggas can’t pass go cuz it cost to pass”
Now, I don’t know about you but I’m certainly not gonna take two to the chest for any dough chest..community or otherwise…I don’t care which President signed off on it.
I am not a crook.
Silly Sparky; that’s not Reagan, it’s Jimmy Carter.
Actually, it’s not President Regan; it’s President Tapht.
And here I thought it was Isenhauer.
tsk tsk… and now impersonation? Will Nixon’s crimes never end?
Although why he would desire to be passed off as comedian Brian Regan is beyond me. Besides, as far as I know, that guy has never been president of anything.
I think Nixon cut off my mattress tags, too. Silly Nixon and his inconsequential crime sprees.
Mine are missing too! That guy sure does get around.
But how did he do it? Is Nixon undead or just a bored poltergeist with a lot of time on his immaterial hands?
Taaaaggggss, mattress taaagggss, brrraaaiii— I mean Taaaaagggss.
Awesome!!! Is this the dough chest where Nixon stashed his infamous slush fund cash? Sparky’s been searching for this for YEARS!!!!!!!……in another point, Johanna isn’t claiming that this belonged to President Ronald Reagan…… She says, “president Regan.” Maybe that’s Clarice Regan, president of Mary Louise Phillips Elementary School P.T.A. In other unrelated/related news…..Merry Monday!!!!!!!!
Now, wait a minute. Putting aside for a moment whether the chest actually belonged to “president Regan,” the rest of the ad is definitely true. It does come with an autographed picture, and that does seem to be authentically a picture. She didn’t say who it was an autographed picture of.
(That awkward moment when you realize you’re thinking of Richard Nixon’s Head from Futurama)
ooohhh…ooohh…does it explode? How cool is that??? ( I have NO idea what Futurama is)…But I DO remember Nixon. (gnashing of teeth)
Here’s a start, now go watch all seven seasons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvYm68dOQ4k
Oh, you are in for such a treat!
Wonder if we’ll see njh before school starts, get’im hooked on Futurama . . .
My ass hurts from sitting on the Group W bench….
Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, “All rise.” We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
’cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn’t nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn’t going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about….
Tricky Dick loves you! 😀
Wow Mudsy, did you recite that from memory? Color me impressed! (That would be pale blue, right? I don’t want anything too loud or gaudy.)
No, that’s what lyricsfreak is for. But, in my head, I could hear Arlo telling this part.
Mudslicker…. don’t forget…”What ya get kid?….I didn’t get nothin’.. I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage.”
I’m a particular fan of this part about the 8 x 10 glossies. I do this bit in my head (well, the Cliff’s Note version) whenever someone takes out 8 x 10 photos either in court settings or tv crime dramas. Poor Thanksgiving-dumping end for the garbage.
Now, for those of you who don’t know, Richard Nixon used to be the President of the United States, and he liked to tape stuff. And that was all well and good until they started playing back the tapes! But it wasn’t what was ON the tapes that got him into so much trouble as what wasn’t. And it was one particular damning gap that caused him so much trouble. So, there I was, thinking about Richard Nixon and I said to myself, “Arlo?” I said, and I replied “Yes?” “Arlo?” I said, “How many things in the world are 18 minutes and 20 seconds long?”
Now, I’m not saying that’s what it was, but if you have any doubt that songs can change the fate of nations, you’ll join with me in the chorus as it comes around again…
This is from memory (the internets have failed me!), courtesy of my childhood when the local public radio station would play it every Thanksgiving…
Thanks for the reference to the 18 1/2 minutes of silence! So embarrassing when you toss that into a conversation, and the people you’re with look at you with a blank expression, and you know they’re thinking, “What the hell is this fossil talking about?”
I’m so glad I’m not the only fossil on board with that 18 1/2 minutes. Bebe Rebozo anyone..anyone?
I think he stepped out with Spiro Agnew.
I think he stepped IN some Spiro Agnew.
I am not a [dough] cabinet!
I always thought Nixon looked doughy and probably smelled like un- cooked bread.
Those are some really ugly curtains
Silva, that is my favorite comment of the whole day! 8) It takes an artist to notice ugly curtains.
Huh, I must not be an artist because I never noticed the curtains. I was too taken aback by the [noun].
Edit: Oh, and for those of you who follow such things, I no longer have a physical address again (homeless). Just moved to elsewhere to accept a new job.
Hooray for new job! Boo for homeless, hope it’s temporary.
They probably also date from the Reagan administration.
Sunday Crew: ghostie of course, me, well I have to be here, HamCan has to babysit the puppies, Archie has to maintain security, and nojazzi, you are now in charge of encouraging folks to delurk. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, All The Presidents are Men!