YSaC, Vol. 1563: Dip, Dip, and Swing

2013 July 24
by dan

Sweet paddle boat for sale – $100

Nice paddle boat. Two-seater. Excellent for making out with chicks, which my wife no longer allows me to do.

I don’t understand – why would chicks want to make out with a paddle boat?

Thanks, Ted!

23 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 July 24

    If interested, call Carlos D. at xxx-xxx-xxxx. No texts, please.

    Adores: 16
    • 2013 July 24

      Took me a minute…but….ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww….

      Adores: 9
    • 2013 July 24
      mudslicker permalink

      Really Dave? Don’t be such a wiener! So soon after his 2nd “Cum Clean Speech?” Can’t a humble man ever get a break?

      *I’ll be over in the corner just stifling a BWAHAHAHAHA!!!*

      Adores: 9
  2. 2013 July 24

    Wonder if the wife just objects to the paddle boat. Maybe a motor boat would suit her better. Maybe she wants to make out with the chicks.

    Adores: 12
  3. 2013 July 24

    I don’t need a boat to paddle two seats at once. I have two hands for that.

    Adores: 10
  4. 2013 July 24
    Grumpy Grammy permalink

    “Sweet”??? Now, if it were a salty paddle boat…………….

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 July 24

      It would get drunk, sing offensive pirate songs, and toss you overboard for looking at its concubines.

      Adores: 19
  5. 2013 July 24

    I see that our Bacontini has finally tied the knot.

    Adores: 21
  6. 2013 July 24

    why would chicks want to make out with a paddle boat?

    Sweet paddle boat; Nice paddle boat

    Oh, I don’t know, I think he’s just crazy.

    Adores: 10
    • 2013 July 24
      nojazzhere permalink

      I DO like a nice paddling every now and then……

      Adores: 9
      • 2013 July 24
        CapnMac permalink

        Wicked, evil, naughty, Zoot!
        Have you been lighting the grail-shaped-beacon again?
        There’s only one punishment for that in Castle Anthrax!

        Adores: 6
      • 2013 July 24

        Kinky. ;p

        Adores: 5
  7. 2013 July 24
    mudslicker permalink

    Logic Observation Quote #34: “The last time I rode in a paddle boat, it was NOT conducive to making out in at all. Yabba dabba don’t!” –Fred Flintstone

    Adores: 6
  8. 2013 July 24
    CapnMac permalink

    Now, waitaminute, just what sort of gurls wanna paddleboat to motorboat ’em?

    Adores: 4
  9. 2013 July 24

    Well – of course chicks like a nice paddle boat. Everyone knows chicks can’t swim. 😉

    Adores: 7
  10. 2013 July 24
    Ralph permalink

    Sweet Paddle Boat
    Good times never seemed so good
    I’ve been inclined
    To believe they never would
    But now I…

    …look at the wife
    And she wants to be my only
    I leave the horny chicks to you.

    Adores: 5
  11. 2013 July 24
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I had one of these once, and the chicks were a big problem. All the little duck boat hotties would chase me around the lake, and I couldn’t actually get anywhere. I feel this guy’s pain.

    Adores: 6
  12. 2013 July 24

    My paddleboat brings all the chicks to the pond,
    And they’re like,
    Its better than yours.

    Adores: 8
  13. 2013 July 24
    CapnMac permalink

    If the boat is swan-shaped, should the gurl answer to Leda?

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 July 24

      Oh Capn…Many doors for that.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2013 July 24
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Ok Sheldon, but just once.

    Sweet paddle, Nice paddle,
    little boat for two.
    Makin’ paddle, chicks paddle,
    wife won’t let me do.

    Adores: 6
  15. 2013 July 25

    Oh Capn, my Capn, you are the Poet Laureate of the Snark Lounge! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Sweet Prince! And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

    Adores: 0
  16. 2013 July 28
    annaandabanana permalink

    I can’t help but notice that Sparky says, “which my wife no longer allows me to do” rather than, “which I no longer do since I have a wife.” Does this mean that Sparky’s wife once allowed him to make out with chicks in his paddleboat?

    Adores: 1

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.