YSaC, Vol. 1567: That little something extra

2013 July 30

EXTRA EXTRA


HEAR ALL ABOUT IT @ ###-###-####

  • Compensation: 500-1200weekly
  • Telecommuting is ok.
  • This is a part-time job.
  • This is a contract job.
  • This is at a non-profit organization.
  • This is an internship job
  • OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
  • OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Why yes, I would like an part-time, internship, non profit, contract, telecommuting friendly, 500-1200 a week job, especially since I have a disability. However, my disability is that I am deaf. Does that mean I cannot hear all about it? And since you have utterly failed to specify what the job actually involves doing, can I pretty much just do whatever I want for this salary? If so, I think I’d like to work on my bagpipe skills at the office. I’m deaf – I don’t care.

Thanks for the post, Elizabeth!

37 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 July 30

    The only question I have about this one is whether it’s a pyramid scheme, a 419 scam or a money laundering scam. Disingenuous indeed.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 July 30

      I think it’s for a job standing on a street corner selling newspapers in 1923.

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 July 30
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Or running around in a clown suit digging a series of tunnels collecting cherries while monsters chase you, with only a superball as a weapon.

        Adores: 4
    • 2013 July 30

      We need your help in getting Nigerian princes to send money by Western Union to other Nigerian princes.

      Adores: 10
      • 2013 July 30
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Dammit! That’s the spam I was looking for!

        Adores: 0
    • 2013 July 30
      nojazzhere permalink

      O.K., sounds interesting…just one question…do I have to wear a tie?..cause, like, that’s a deal-breaker for me….

      Adores: 8
      • 2013 July 30
        HamCan permalink

        No, but you may end up tied to something and in a VIDIO.

        Adores: 3
      • 2013 July 30

        But what if it’s a bowtie?

        Adores: 4
  2. 2013 July 30

    Faith healing? Cause she surely picked up some interesting diseases yesterday.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2013 July 30
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Spam! Spam! Get your penis enlarging spam here! Absolutely no counterfeit Mexican drugs! No experience with breast augmentation needed! Extra spam here! Get it while it lasts!

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 July 30

      Do you have anything on the menu with a bit less Spam in it?

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 July 30
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        No, sorry. All spam with peaches all day here. Specialty of the house, according to my daddy. *

        * yes , I’m a full grown woman who calls my father “daddy”! What of it!?

        Adores: 0
  4. 2013 July 30
    HamCan permalink

    Haiku:

    Job is a part-time
    Telecommuting is ok
    Organization

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 July 30
      zero.nada.none. permalink

      EXTRA EXTRA

      Do you have a BIG-OLE box of envelopes???
      Have I got a job for you!!!!!!!
      HEAR ALL ABOUT IT @ xxx-xxx-xxxx

      Adores: 6
  5. 2013 July 30

    OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities

    Do you take Roundup mutation patients?

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 July 30
      HamCan permalink

      Mutation Patients is IF’s Rolling Stones tribute band.

      Adores: 3
  6. 2013 July 30

    No, Carlos I will not work for your ‘campaign’!

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 July 30
      CapnMac permalink

      Ick–that really calls that compensation of 500-1200weekly into question.
      If Sr. Danger is involved, I’d be relieved if that remuneration was in Golgafrinchamian leaves . . .

      Adores: 2
  7. 2013 July 30
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Bagpipe… skills?

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 July 30
      Bratty Innocence permalink

      Why Irr Frac? What are you implying??? (or inferring??? I get those mixed up.)

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 July 30
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        That one can acquire skill in such an activity which has no redeeming musical quality whatsoever.
        It’s kind of like having skill at being a wasp.

        Come to think of it, bagpipes are pretty much the wasps of the musical instrument kingdom.

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 July 30
          CapnMac permalink

          That’s precisely the sort of defamatory exclamation that Fate would answer by locking a person into a room with a Newfie toddler piping class–all skirling away with the enthusiasm that only a 5-6 y/o can demonstrate . . .

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 July 30
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Oddly specific sort of scenario there, Cap’n.

          Uh, hey, look, a lion!

          *runs away*

          Adores: 2
        • 2013 July 31
          CapnMac permalink

          The Cape Breton pipers are said to be nursed with pipe chanters.

          Which is why they are described as “Skirl’t ae the MacCrimmon’a auld Skye.”

          Adores: 0
  8. 2013 July 30

    Good news. I happen to be telecommuting for you at this very moment. Don’t worry, I promise your organization will not profit from my work. I’ll take my $1200 weekly now.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 July 30

      Weekly? Man, you’ve got a raw deal.

      I’d have sprung for bi-weekly.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 July 30
        HamCan permalink

        I read Bi-weekly once, it had something for everyone!

        Adores: 5
        • 2013 July 30
          nojazzhere permalink

          I try to read bi-weekly, or whenever I can make the time….but my schedule has just been so busy lately.

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 July 30
          HamCan permalink

          Try weakly instead?

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 July 30

          I’m a fan of By Weakley, myself. Its publishing times are wonky, and they smash my window every time, but it’s worth the repairs!

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 July 30
          HamCan permalink

          I’ve read Weakly before, he always leaves you wanting more…

          Adores: 2
  9. 2013 July 30

    I sure wish I could contact this poster about “other services, products, or commercial interests.” I have a lightly used job description here that I keep tripping over. I’d really like to get rid of it while it’s still in sellable condition. One of my cats keeps gnawing on some of the words. She’s also used it as a scratching post a little. While it’s no longer minty, it still gets across its intended point. Only problem is since the poster specified not to call about me selling something to him/her, the post will continue not to have a description of the job, my cat will continue to gnaw on the description I have, and some day I just know I’m gonna stub my toe really hard on it.

    Well, in retrospect maybe selling this to an internet stranger isn’t a good idea. While it has no sentimental value, I still don’t want somebody misusing it and me getting in trouble for that. Anybody here interested in buying? I’d happily part with it for 10 OBOs or a bin of vintage shortening tubs.

    Adores: 1
  10. 2013 July 30

    Dr. Frankenstein was having understandable difficulty getting an intern to participate in his on-the-table work experience program.

    Things went a lot smoother when he decided to be less specific.

    Adores: 4
  11. 2013 July 30
    Ralph permalink

    I prefer my compensation in dollars, not weekly. The exchange rate is too variable. The last time I tried to convert 1200 weekly, I ended up with about 3 obos.

    Adores: 3
  12. 2013 July 31

    Ghostie and Hammy, CatDog said to say hi! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Job Seekers!

    Adores: 1

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