Looking for a thortise (Bx)
I am looking for a pair of baby thortise or box turtle.i have reptiles to trade n some cash.jus text me with wat u have
Well, I don’t have any thortises, but I have two bro contractors, a tank full of dadpoles, and an extremely disgruntled kimono dragoon.
Thanks for the post, Camille!
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Dibs on the dragoon. (What’s he wearing under the kimono?)
Aw, darn it. I only needed one more to complete my dragoon platoon.
I have The Lorax, and a couple of yertles.
How’d you get them away from The Onceler? Thneed him in the gloin?
Why does Sparky want to biopsy the thortise? Is s/he checking it for melonerma?
I have a breeding pair of cocktails and a
chiwawachiuaualittle high-strung dog.I have either a squash or a genie pig. Where did I put my glasses?
The Thortise was a BMX bike worthy of the Gods of the Norse Eddas themselves. Capable of popping wheelies from here to Valhalla, and fueled by nothing less than the pure vitality of the Viking spirit, these coveted freestyling machines are sadly no longer with us, although Marvel recently licensed a cheap plastic knock-off.
Cheap Plastic Knock-off is my Average White Band tribute band.
Which makes Pick Up the Pieces even more on the nose.
…So the thortise crossed the finnish lion while the hair was still sleeping. The mortal of the storage, “Slaw and steddy wins the raise.”
Finnish lion? Incomplete, “some assembly required,” or Suomi cat?
If the former, how do the Lap feel about imported flat-pack swenske Not.A.Tiger?
Somehow, I doubt that this guy’s ever had a single thort in his head.
Thortise:
verb (used with object), Thor·tised, Thor·tis·ing.
1. To be to decimated by bolts from heaven.
2. To flatten (a person, place, etc.) by the use of a large electrified hammer.
Usage: Looky there, Billy Bob done been Thortised by that there police man.
Respec’ ma ‘Thority!
Maybe ith jutht me, but I don’t unnerthtand why thith ith a you thuck moment.
Theriousthly.
Because this is just another ad where Sparky asks for a list of everything you own to choose from to trade for something (s)he doesn’t want anymore. And text the list to boot. I’d go over my allotted text messages for the month if I did that.
(Done to the voice of Ben Stein)
[new text] I have an AOL cd, I have a little black address book, I have a season 1 Hee Haw DVD collection[send], [new text] I have a bamboo back scratcher, I have a pair of size 10 tennis shoes with the soles worn out, I have a coffee mug with a picture of a cow[send], [new text]jumping over the moon that I keep some pens and a plastic fork and a pocket knife in, I have a mouse, but not the furry kind, the kind that you can use with a computer, I have some pocket[send], [new text]lint, some rusty paper clips, a wireless router that doesn’t have a power cord, a button that fell off of my favorite shirt, I have a Tinkerbell, the movie DVD, I have all of the windows 3.1 and DOS 5.0 disks except I’m missing one disk[send]…
So now you know what’s wrong with this ad.
Why mock Sparky’s reptile dysfunction when he only took the regular course: Reeling and Writhing, and the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.
The problem will be solved by No Chelonia Left Behind.
Reptile Dysfunction is my Toad the Wet Sprocket cover band.
Remember, if you experience wet sprocket for more than four hours, please see a doctor immediately.
Gosh, really?
I don’t mind sharing the box with One, I might even share the box with Thortise, but I draw the line at sharing with the turtle. The turtle thinks everything in the box is his and won’t let me touch anything.
That’s what she said….
What?
She doesn’t mind sharing the box with One?
or
Everything in the box is hers?
or
She won’t let me touch anything?
Yes.
Our friend with Tourette’s told me he saw a fucking cuntle in our pond. I don’t know if it’s a box cuntle, but if you can catch it, it’s yours.
And that reminds me never to drink while reading YSaC. Sinus Enima: Complete.
Box Cuntles are terrestrial, and almost all cuntles mate on land. Whatever it is, there is probably more than one cuntle in your pond. If conditions are favorable, there should be a whole turd of hurtles.
Sinus Enema is my Spinal Tap tribute band…”c’mon…kick my ass…I mean it…kick my ass…I’m not asking, I’m telling you…kick.my.ass.”
OT: I just tied up about an hour ago, went to get something to eat for lunch(actually I missed lunch but I’m planning on eating later tonight), then came home. I then called dispatch to find out where I was. See, you have to find out where you are so you know whether you should go to sleep or stay up because dispatch might call soon. But when they answered, they said I was on a run. I know I’m not on a run because I just tied up an hour ago. So I hung up the phone and called them right back to let them know I’m not on a run anymore. Dispatch asked me if I knew how many minutes I waited. I said, “Yes.” Then they told me where I was. Once I found out where I was, I logged onto YSaC. Now I’m here.
I’m lost; I’ve gone to look for myself.
If I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.
All bow to the mighty Thortise. Disregard the Lokitoad. Also the Odingator.
What I want to know is if his reptiles have been recently seen or do they come with their own couch in which they may be lost? If it’s the couch thing, you may win on the deal. Assuming you don’t mind possibly dead snake in your couch. It’s better than dead aunt stains.
Hammy, are you a Box Thuppy? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Herpestologists!