YSaC, Vol. 1642: Worst baby name list ever.
Olive Edith Zola Koa Beatrice Chamois Petal Cindy Urna Lila – 19
Arnold Cypress Merlin Puck Luke Mike,Mikey Dickens Kokamo Magic Hamlet Jock Fletcher Comet Falcon Basil Hobbit Morley Mako Gusevik Zog Elwood Fighter Bubby Friday Dalton Wiggles Houdini Juice Harper Piranha Kegger Bellamy Norman Wolfer Durango Micha Davinci Rusty Paloma Cowboy Flipper Cujo Joe Zepplin Horus Caliber Patches Felix Rooney Pylon Ronin Matera Bean Hunter Wiley Zephyr Fender Atlas Moose Loki Hart Funky Zeb
I give this four stars. I want to give it five, but the third act was slow and a little hard to follow. Also the use of the deus ex machina to resolve the central conflict was a bit of a cheat. So really it’s only worth three stars, now that I think about it. And even that might be a bit generous. I mean, they introduce “Piranha” about halfway through and never develop the character at all. And you can see the twist ending with “Zeb” coming a mile away. So maybe only one star, minus one-half star for the comma splice and lack of punctuation.
Thanks, Mike!
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“Bean Hunter” is IF’s Duck Dynasty slightly more boring Duck Dynasty spin-off show.
….but since he’s named after his dad, they just call him “Jr.”
BTW D&FT, I totally got your Daria ref.
TC, it’s DAFT, no ampersand, please!
Gratüitoüs Ümlaüts is the name of my Queensrÿche cover band.
There’s a watch brand called Kriëger. The preceding sentence may actually be true. (Warning: Site has annoying music.)
Hobbit tastes great with a little Basil.
Wiggles Houdini was Harry’s lesser known but equally skilled escape artist brother, named such for his ability to wiggle out of his crib as an infant.
A fraternity at my college had a Piranha Kegger once. It… did not end well.
Cujo Joe is normally just called CuJoe for short.
Most of the Egyptian gods are good, but few of them are Horus Caliber. Osiris and Ra, maybe Isis. Definitely not Anubis, he’s overrated.
Anybody up for some Houdini Juice? No?
Maybe you would like to replace the Taco Thong with the Magic Hamlet Jock.
The Cowboy Flipper should not be confused with the Count Spatula.
Cham-Wow! The free range gerberts have become sentient and have made their demands. Why are manifestos always so rational?
I want to know if Zephyr Fender Atlas Moose is related to our own Poncho Moose.
Alternatively, this could be a list of the reindeer that Santa didn’t pick to pull his sleigh.
Has anyone seen the Wiley Zephyr? I know it exists because I’ve seen its tracks.
Perhaps the Comet Falcon is always out flying and out smarting the Wiley Zephyr.
I keep washing my Magic Hamlet Jock, but the damn stain won’t come out!
Tha’ w’ae bae T’ Scot’s hamlet Jock.
I really feel like I should have said jest won’t come out. …
Piranha Kegger sounds like an amazing Sy-Fy movie of the week.
Kneel before Arnold Cypress Merlin Puck Luke Mike,Mikey Dickens Kokamo Magic Hamlet Jock Fletcher Comet Falcon Basil Hobbit Morley Mako Gusevik Zog Elwood Fighter Bubby Friday Dalton Wiggles Houdini Juice Harper Piranha Kegger Bellamy Norman Wolfer Durango Micha Davinci Rusty Paloma Cowboy Flipper Cujo Joe Zepplin Horus Caliber Patches Felix Rooney Pylon Ronin Matera Bean Hunter Wiley Zephyr Fender Atlas Moose Loki Hart Funky Zeb! Okay, okay, Zog for short. Zog Elwood. Esquire.
‘K.
Daft and ghostie, sorry, your eviction notice just arrived. Pack up and get out of the box. Here are you Punchity Punch Punches!
Good Morning, Alpha Betters.
Great, now I’ve got bruises and ferret bites.
At least they’ve had their shots. Not sure about Dave. . .
The first two words I noticed was Moose and Loki and then I mentally wrote about half of a crossover slash fiction and I realized that I spend way too much time on Tumblr, after which I worried about the logistics of said slash fiction and then I realized that many of you wouldn’t associate Moose with Jared Padelecki and Supernatural and might think I was writing some weird Loki/animal slash but it’s not like that would be so far from the original myths and then I realized that I was constructing a run-on sentence in an almost stream of consciousness narrative and that made me smile, and I realized that I have to end this sentence soon because I’m going to a friend’s graduation and it’s raining.
* hands kelli the cake* Take that.
“Olive Edith with all my heart!” Zola Koa exclaimed.
“Beatrice chamois in your declarations.” Said Petal Cindy in hushed tones, trying to hide her heartache. She had pined for Zola for years.
“You cannot urna lila until you work for it 19 days.” Arnold Cypress said to no one in particular.
Merlin puck(ed) Luke and no one cared. This prompted Mike and Mikey – the Dickens twins from Kokamo to magic hamlet their jocks.
Fletcher, the comet falcon, basil(ed) a hobbit. He did it morley for the mako experience, and found it less satisfying than the time he performed the gusevik zog at the Elwood Fighter.
“Bubby will be here on Friday!” said Dalton, a huge Wiggles fan. “He can Houdini the juice harper like a piranha at a kegger!”
“He’s no Bellamy,” Norman scoffed, “but he will wolfer the durango.”
“He’s a regular Micha Davinci!” Dalton argued.
“Yeah, well he’s not what I call an artiste.”, said Rusty Paloma, “In fact, he’s no cowboy flipper at all.”
Now Dalton was enraged, cujo imagine? Someone wasn’t a Bubby fan, and Dalton was not going to let that slide.
“Joe zeppelin on your asses!” he said, shaking his fist at the unbelievers.
A horus of caliber patches ensued.
When the dust cleared, Felix Rooney decided to pylon.
It was bloody.
Even the 47 Ronin were no help, and Matera – who had bean hunter – knew the wiley zephyr move was of no use.
Finally, a fender was shoved up the atlas of Dalton and he was silenced.
The fight ended, and no one could even remember why it started.
“Was it over the moose?” Loki asked, knowing there were some in the Bullwinkle camp and some in the Boris camp.
“No.” Zola Koa said, “it was because I showed my hart.”
“No, it wasn’t.” declared Funky Zeb, “it was because someone put the toilet paper on the roll facing the wrong direction.”
Thanks, C””J. Now I have to enlarge the box, and right before the holidays. Where am I going to get a contractor at this time of the year?
Didn’t Olive marry John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?
I made out a list.
Checked over twice.
Then I wrote down who’s naughty or nice.
…….so,….who won?
Me. I won. I win everything. All your internets belong to me.
You better not post
You better not try
Better not sell
I’m telling you why
All your ads are making us frown.
We read of your crap
It shows you aren’t bright
We’re gonna find out
Your speeling ain’t right
All your ads are making us frown.
Your grammer leaves us weeping
Your words are big mistakes
Your pictures hurt our eyes so bad
So don’t post for all our sakes.
Ohh! You better just quit
Stop selling your shit
Or think a bit
Don’t write like you’re lit
All your ads are making us frown.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be able to put goat feet on Luke Skywalker and make Puck Luke!
This is clearly IF’s Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich covers band.
Anyone else feeling sorry for Caliper? Only me then ?