YSaC, Vol. 1664: Penny truck is in my ears and in my eyes.

2014 February 12

2007 ZX-4 Focus – $4500


2007 Ford focus odometer: 113000 automatic transmission
I have a 2007 ZX-4 ford focus for sale. First 3800 TaKes It,It is the standard model so manual windows and locks. It is a 4 door sedan that will seat 5 comfortably. It only has 113,000 miles, I drive it everyday from [location] to [other location an hour away] so miles will go up. It has no Mechanical issues at all, brand New tires, new Struts and Shocks, alternator, tuneup, and oil change. Ready to Jump in and Drive MEXICO under 50$ lol. It does have a couple of dents. So I’m offering to fix all dents and repaint the car Black for 5,000 or as is for 4,500. Kelly Blue Book has it at 5 800 so I am asking way lower. The car is worth of Penny, it’s is Great on Gas especially if you have a Gas card. I spend no more than 60$ a week to go to [aforementioned second location] Monday to fri. Ac / heater work Very fast car, great for College or high school student. Good for Single mother or Solider. Hit me up anytime for Pics, info or to Test drive.

Let us summarize your options:
You can have a 2007 ZX-4 Focus for $4,500.
If you are FIRST, you can have it for $3,800.
If they fix it and paint it black, you can have it for $5,000
As is, it is $4,500.
The Kelly Blue Book price is $5,800.
The trade in value, according to kbb.com (Kelly Blue Book) is $4,300.
The private party value is $5,525.

But it’s worth of Penny!

Basically, when you get there, you’re just going to spin the wheel and zombie Monty Hall will tell you what you actually have to pay for the truck. Which is odd, because as it turns out (thanks, Wikipedia!) Monty Hall is not actually dead.

Thanks for the post, William!

74 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 February 12
    CapnMac permalink

    Perhaps Spark’ is Triskellion and is confusing the fluid nature of the Kwatloo got the rather-more integer locked U.S. dollar.

    Spark is also confused as this is a ‘manual’ car that may or may not have an automatic transmission. Er?

    Adores: 4
  2. 2014 February 12
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink
    Adores: 3
  3. 2014 February 12
    Ralph permalink

    Sparky is a bit unfocused. Why would anyone want to drive Mexico? Especially when trying to herd it with a dented Ford, even a solider one?

    I drive a Toyota. I’m not pining for the fords.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2014 February 12

    You got a fast car.
    Is it fast enough for a soldier or a mom?
    You gotta make a decision.
    Will you take 38 or 45 for that bomb?

    Adores: 2
  5. 2014 February 12
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Can someone please please please tell me how to get my image in here!!!!!

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 February 12

      Did you try tags?

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 February 12

        Let me try that again.

        Did you try to use the image tags?

        Adores: 1
        • 2014 February 12
          MissMommyNiceNice permalink

          I even looked up uncle Google’s instructions for html imbedding and thought I had succeeded but above post is blank. Tried a second time and was given the duplicate post warnings. Even dragged out the laptop. Oh well.

          Adores: 1
        • 2014 February 12

          Maybe it’s some kind of admin restriction thing.

          The llamanun (bees be upon her) must approve your offering of internet imagery before she accepts it, or something.

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 12
          SilvaNoir permalink

          (erk, forget it) (deleted comment)

          Adores: 0
  6. 2014 February 12

    Hell, I think I’ll just wait till Sparky drives the damned thing to MEXICO and get it for $50!

    Adores: 12
    • 2014 February 12

      Or, you could just run him off the road, knock him out and take it for free. That’ll keep enough money in your pockets to afford the inevitable body work!

      (SC’s been watching Rat Race again, guys.)

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12
        Windrose permalink

        So you should have bought a squirrel, huh?

        Adores: 0
        • 2014 February 12

          Maaaybe.

          Either that, or I should’ve hitched up with a helicopter pilot… at the expense of getting caught up in relationship issues from hell, of course.

          Adores: 1
  7. 2014 February 12
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Oh fine. Not as funny as looking right at it like the crazy Beiber girl taking a selfie, but here it is. I promise you will laugh if you click:

    http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26700000/Penny-Is-Happy-To-See-Brain-inspector-gadget-26749933-476-360.png

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 February 12

      As a kid I thought Penny was cute, but now that I’m older I have a thing for Flo.

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12
        Windrose permalink

        She doesn’t look old enough to drive.

        Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Flo from Mel’s Diner or Flo from Progressive?

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 February 12
          meeshybee permalink

          With this post, obviously Flo from the movie Cars.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2014 February 12
    nojazzhere permalink

    “First 3800 TaKes It,It” is my a-ha tribute band. Our opening number is “TaKe oN me…”

    and my car is Great on Gas especially if I use someone else’s Gas card…..

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 February 12

      Or a rubber hose and somebody else’s gas.

      Uh, not that I’m endorsing that method, or anything.

      *SC whistles and quietly pushes a gerrycan and hose under the rug with his foot*

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 February 12
        Windrose permalink

        *walks in to see who is whistling, trips over rug*

        Ow! It’s dark in here, let me light a match.

        Adores: 7
        • 2014 February 12

          WINDY, NOOOOO!

          Adores: 1
        • 2014 February 12
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Sorry our mod blew up, Ricky.

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 12

          Somebody needs to go hang the “Technical Difficulties” sign over Windy’s avatar pic, now.

          Adores: 7
      • 2014 February 12
        CapnMac permalink

        [apropos aside:]
        During the 30’s the Brits were coping with some issues, The Depression, no armed forces budget, whether this whole mechanical warfare thing would catch on and all. So, fuel cans were given short shift. These containers were designed to stack neatly (only when empty) and were right at paper-thin.

        In fact, the material was so thin, you were recommended to not fill the containers, lest they leak, and spoil the rest. Since you had to use caution with each full one in use. Recommended technique was to hold top & bottom in opposite hands and twist until the corner ripped. (Unscrewing the filler cap lead to the bottom corners of the can giving away to leaks; or to having the rivets on the filler come loose.)

        Troops in the field took to calling them “Flimzies” or “Gerralds.”

        In the meantime, the Germans had not dithered about on keeping their racy panzers supplied with POL. They looked at the forces, the loads, they even haggled about what size to make (20L). They then cobbled up plans for a stamping die and had the things made up in halves anywhere there was factory room floor. The filler tube was cast (elsewhere) with flanges to mate on the only side of the can it was allowed to go. They even stamped an inset where the two halves met, in case the welding joint was not too pretty.

        Fluid-tight from the get-go. Three handles so one or two people could lug 20L about. Solid enough to be able to stack them sideways without leaking.

        The Brits were convinced when they saw them in North Africa. Scarfered off with as many as they lay hold of. US forces sent enough back for examination, a US version was made (somewhat still is today).

        The Brits called them “Jerry” cans, after the source. There was a commercial source in the UK after the war that took to calling theirs “Gerrycans”–the better to not offend Brits with “war scrap.” This slid into an accidental naming habit, too. Anything listed as “20L” capacity was presumed “Jerry”; if labeled “5 U.S. GAL” then, it was Gerry-made.
        [/aside]

        Adores: 4
        • 2014 February 12

          Huh!

          In which SC gets an unexpected, but very interesting, history lesson.

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 13

          Resurrection complete in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

          Wow, I just had the strangest dream.

          Adores: 1
        • 2014 February 13
          nojazzhere permalink

          “Wow, I just had the strangest dream”….

          Feelin’ alright?….
          Not feelin’ too good myself…

          Adores: 1
  9. 2014 February 12
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I’m pretty sure I cannot drive from here to MEXICO for $50.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 February 12

      That’s what you get for not living in [location].

      Adores: 7
    • 2014 February 12

      Hmm, if I lived a little bit further south in California, I could maybe pull it off for… I dunno, $75, give or take. Depends on the toll roads I’d be going through, and if I happen to get lost along the way.

      I’ve only been licensed for four months, shut up, don’t judge me

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 February 12
      Windrose permalink

      Huh. Been in San Diego so long, that didn’t even catch my attention. I can hop on the trolly and get to Mexico for a couple dollars.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 February 12

        Just as a little chuckle-inducer, San Diego is exactly where I meant when I said, “further south.”

        Adores: 2
  10. 2014 February 12

    Ready to Jump in and Drive MEXICO under 50$ lol.

    I’m thinking some very unpleasant things about the guy who posted this ad, right now.

    (not you dan, you’re amazings.)

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 February 12

      I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why my avatar is apparently teh brokezorz, which has nothing at all to do with me neglecting to log in properly.

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 February 13

        I love that you got more adores for your “technical difficulties” than for the original comment. 8)

        Adores: 1
  11. 2014 February 12
    Andrea permalink

    and don’t forget, you can drive MEXICO for $50! must be some large trunk space if you can fit Mexico in there!!

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 February 12

      Hmm, my car can only seem to fit Vermont in the trunk…

      Damn it. I knew I should have payed extra for the trunk space expansion.

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12

        Storytime!!

        My current vehicle is a Chevy Impala. It was purchased because THREE MONTHS BEFORE MY BELOVED BLAZER WAS PAID OFF AN IDIOT DRUNKARD TOTALED THE FECKING THING IN. MY. FECKING. DRIVEWAY!!

        But, I’m not bitter.

        *ahem* Anyway, let’s just say that Seej was NOT IN A CAR-BUYING MOOD, THANKYOUVERRRYMUCH when approached by the silver-haired gentleman at the dealership on a elebenty-hunnert degree July afternoon, but settlement in hand and rental due to return the next day, SHE HAD NO FECKING CHOICE, BECAUSE THE FECKING IDIOT WHO DECIDED TO DRINK AND DRIVE TOTALED HER BLAZER!

        Like I said, not bitter even a little.

        Apparently, my lack of wanting-to-be-there-edness showed, so Silver tried to win me over with a joke.

        Opening the trunk to the Impala, he affected a Joizee accent (horribly, I might add) and said, “Look at da troink! Chew cud fit two, tree bodies in d’air!”

        I was not amused, but I was dehydrated and JUST A LITTLE PUT OUT THAT A FECKING DRUNK DESTROYED MY BELOVED BLAZER so I smiled and bought the car.

        /end storytime

        Adores: 11
        • 2014 February 12

          Not bitter?

          CJ, why do I feel like you’re not being entirely truthful?

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 12

          *smiles innocently*

          SC – I have no idea what you are talking about.

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 12
          nojazzhere permalink

          So, C”…”J,…..have you tried testing the trunk capacity yet?…..like on the FECKING DRIVER WHO TOTALED YOUR BLAZER??????? ( before the bitterness wears off?)

          Adores: 3
        • 2014 February 12

          Now nojazzie, I am NOT BITTER!

          I offered to beat the ever-lovin’ shit outta the woman that very night, but the local PD did not take me up on my offer.

          Go figure.

          Adores: 4
        • 2014 February 13
          nojazzhere permalink

          C”…..”J….that’s because your local PD are a bunch of LILY-LIVERED, LIBERAL WACKO, COMMUNIST, PINKO, PACIFIST PANSIES……..
          (besides, they only do stuff like that out BEHIND the police station…)

          Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12
        meeshybee permalink

        Despite having a minivan, I doubt I could even fit a Russian Olympic bed in my “trunk”.

        Adores: 1
  12. 2014 February 12
    Windrose permalink

    Your trunk is in quite a state at the moment.

    Adores: 4
  13. 2014 February 12
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    It may be worth of Penny, but I’m only taking it if he throws in Brain. And I can handle the paint job myself.

    Go Go Gadget Airbrush!

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 February 12
      Kara permalink

      Brain and brain! What is BRAIN?

      Adores: 3
  14. 2014 February 12
    One Moving Violation permalink

    As many of you know, before my zombie days, I was a professional truck driver. Before that, I drove a school bus. When I upgraded from a class B to a class A CDL, I insisted on keeping my passenger endorsement just in case I went to Mexico and became a coyote, I would still be legal. You know, because I’m a law abiding citizen.

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 February 12

      So when did the transition to zombie happen?

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 February 12
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Early November, 2012. You can read comments from then to get the story.

        Braaaiiiin! Penny’s Braaaiiinnn.

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 February 12

          Well, archive-diving I go, then!

          Hope there aren’t any rocks at the bottom.

          Wheeeee!

          Adores: 2
        • 2014 February 12

          Someone note the date and time, for I fear SC may be gone for good.

          Adores: 6
        • 2014 February 12

          It’s okay, guys, I brought floaties!

          Why are you carving my name into a casket?

          Adores: 4
  15. 2014 February 12
    tigprincess permalink

    Dan Kudos for Beatles reference.

    /corey/ I used to live in a street in Liverpool that was 3 streets away from Penny Lane. Their road sign kept being ‘removed’ by Beatles fans. /corey

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 February 12
      One Moving Violation permalink

      …and my eyes are *rolling on the floor*

      tig, is Penny lane related to Lois Lane? I lived not too far from Lois Lane and I would like to test drive this Penny Lane you speak of.

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 February 12
        meeshybee permalink

        What about Memory Lane? That’s near me.

        Adores: 1
        • 2014 February 13

          All we got here is Tobacco Road.

          Adores: 0
  16. 2014 February 12
    One Moving Violation permalink

    It has no Mechanical issues at all

    So, the spark plugs are still sparking. The radiator is still radiating. The windshield is still winded. The tail pipe is still tailing. Or, the exhaust pipe is still exhausted. The starter is still starting. The points are still pointing(and laughing). The pistons are still pi…

    …well, you get the idea.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 February 12
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Doggone short term memory! I should have used the terms in the ad.
      Tires still tiring.
      Struts still strutting.
      Shocks still shocking.
      Alternator still alternating.
      Tune up still tuning.
      Oil still Changing… (EEEEK! Stop watching me you pervert!)

      Adores: 3
  17. 2014 February 12
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Good for Single mother or Solider

    What could be more solid than a single mom?

    Adores: 2
  18. 2014 February 12
    Brer Fox permalink

    Hit me up anytime for Pics

    This line belongs in the personals section. Not the for sale section.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2014 February 12
    Brer Fox permalink

    Good for Single mother

    Not so good for Double mothers or Triple mothers. Polygamists need not apply.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 February 12
      SilvaNoir permalink

      See “Triple mothers” makes me think of a 3-headed mom-beast. Possibly Cerberus’s mom.

      Adores: 2
  20. 2014 February 12
    Brer Fox permalink

    The car is worth of Penny

    You know, because, Sheldon is going to need a ride.

    Adores: 5
  21. 2014 February 12
    Brer Fox permalink

    First 3800 TaKes It

    The first 3800 people who shows up takes it? I thought you said it only holds five comfortably. I guess if you can drive Mexico with this car, you should be able to drive 3800 people with it.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 February 12
      meeshybee permalink

      Holds five “comfortably”. He knows it fits 3800 because he had it tested by the guys who run those Japanese trains.

      Adores: 1
  22. 2014 February 12
    Ralph permalink

    I can easily drive to Mexico from here for under $50; it’s only about 140 miles. Also China, Poland, Peru, etc.

    Adores: 2
  23. 2014 February 13

    SeeJ, Capn Mac, Dave, and all the Ferrets. You’ve served your time. You have done your duty. (Thanks for cleaning that up, Dave!) Take this with my blessing. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Greetings, Earthlings!

    Adores: 2

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