YSaC, Vol. 331: A woman’s work is never done …

2009 June 13

secertary with photo shop expert

PLEASE CONTACT ALLEN AT alen@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com

A … secertary. That knows about photography, photoshop, and making catalogs. Maybe I’m crazy, but that sounds like a graphic designer to me. Or a photographer.

And of course it has to be a girl, because secretaries are always girls.

Sigh … so much to snark at. All caps, poor spelling, and misogyny. It was really hard for me not to leave the company name in the email. I would like to point out, though, that it looks like Allen spelled his name wrong in the email. I hope those female photoshop experts were able to figure that one out.

This reminds me of one of my bosses from a while back; he actually uttered the phrase, “How did you learn so much about computers when you’re just a girl?” In my head, I translated that to, “Thanks for fixing my computer again.” It was the only way I could stop myself from kicking him in the shins with my shiny Mary Janes.

[Thanks to Caryn for the submission!]

30 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 13

    you mean she gets to use a computer and not just give coffee and blow jobs to the bosses?

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 June 13
      Sarah permalink

      She has to be able to multitask.

      Adores: 3
  2. 2009 June 13

    Aw, you shoulda kicked him in the shins anyway.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 June 13

    Uh oh, it looks like alen’s been watching Mad Men again. [I love that show, btw.]

    Adores: 0
  4. 2009 June 14
    Sheri permalink

    I’m a tech writer and I can’t tell you how many times I see ads for someone who can answer phones, make appointments, make coffee, and write reference and install guides.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 15
      jackie31337 permalink

      Same here! I just visited the unemployment office today (I’ll be furloughed for 6 weeks this year), and after explaining what I currently do, they said “that’s an office job, right?”. Why do I get the feeling they’ll try to place me in a temp secretary position during my furlough?

      Adores: 0
  5. 2009 June 14
    candace permalink

    I’m surprised they didn’t say she has to be hot and include a photo,lol.

    Adores: 1
  6. 2009 June 14
    Pieter B permalink

    Reminds me of an ad I saw in the Knoxville TN paper a bit over a decade ago. A law office was advertising for a CNE* to administer their network half the time and do typing and filing the other half. $15 an hour.

    * Novell Certified Netware Engineer, the MCSE of the early ’90s — at the time it cost at least $5000 to take the classes and exams.

    Adores: 0
  7. 2009 June 15
    corn flakes permalink

    Sigh…..This is what i tend to see a lot as a graphic designer. I’ve had potential employers ask me to do everything from copywriting, sales and customer service, to tech support. The line of thinking seems to be “we have two creative jobs” or “we have two jobs using computers lets fill them with one underpaid employee.

    To make it worse, i googled the ad, and it was posted under Web Design. Our designer/secretary/office-bitch is going to show up for work and have to make websites too.

    Lots of potential, sucks i’m a dude so i cant be a secretary-designer.

    Adores: 0
  8. 2009 June 15
    andipandi permalink

    Translation: We don’t want to pay a real graphic designer, nor will we care about quality. Your self-esteem must be very low, since we will run you ragged over our crappy catalog.

    Adores: 3
  9. 2009 June 15
    Colleen in MA permalink

    I’m a graphic designer too but I can’t answer phones or take messages. Seriously, I got fired from a secretary job once. They are just two different skills sets. :0)

    I can, however, make a crappy catalog – for the salary that Allen is looking to pay.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2009 June 15

    doesn’t everybody “know about” photoshop? It’s pretty well established that it exists. if i was a girl i’d have a new job i guess.

    Adores: 3
  11. 2012 March 24
    D / DM permalink

    Alen, I am not a girl, nor do I have a photo shop expert. I figure that since you are not Allen, that makes me the prefect candy… caddi… dude for this secertary poten… prescr… er, jeorab. When do I start?

    Adores: 3
  12. 2012 March 24

    Don’t tell me; let me guess. The guy with the, um, interesting Web site and the guy wanting a sexy personal assistant started a business together and decided that they needed a catalog.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 24
      D / DM permalink

      Also, they don’t have the budget for models, so the secertary with photo shop expert should be good at photographing herself.

      Also, she should be okay with modeling their clothing products, which at this time are none, so being comfortable with nudity is absolutely a necessity.

      Adores: 2
  13. 2012 March 24
    CapnMac permalink

    “A secretary is always a girl”?


    But, I’m not tough enough to tell Robert Gates or Leon Panetta that . . .

    I suppose the question could be put to Dr Kissinger, but, I’d be afraid all that laughter might injure him at that age.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2012 March 24

    * Photoshops a picture of a girl onto my resume’*

    Emails to: Alien@planet-mars.com

    Adores: 2
  15. 2012 March 24
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Well you found me Allen. I know about photoshop and have taken photographs and last time I checked, am female. Now what? Or do I want to know?

    Adores: 2
  16. 2012 March 24
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I thought about saying something about secretaries and my name, but I don’t want to get beat “on” by a girl.

    *sits down on safe couch*

    Adores: 1
  17. 2012 March 24
    Kaziganthi permalink

    So I Googled ‘secertary’ – it saddened me greatly to find that many misspellings of secretary (tho’ I shouldn’t be surprised), but the one from Saudi Arabia was the most worrisome. Preferred gender: female – Performs other related duties as assigned by supervisor.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2012 March 25

    “Were are” looking for a girl? Someone who turns into an “are” under the full moon? Ahhh, THERE’S the typo – “Were ARSE.” Must be a full moon.

    Adores: 4
  19. 2012 March 25
    Windrose permalink

    Capn, Punchity Punch Punch! Thanks for kicking the comments up several levels on the intelligence meter!

    Good Morning, Secretariat!

    Adores: 0
  20. 2012 November 11

    And by “catalogs,” we mean binders full of women.

    Adores: 7
  21. 2012 November 11

    I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

    Adores: 1
  22. 2012 November 11
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Seeking underage female wearing “I’m with Photoshop Expert” T-shirt. Must be familiar with the concept of photography, tolerant of Alen probes, and able to keep a secert.

    Adores: 1
  23. 2012 November 11
    LimeLolly permalink

    Sadly, I lost my photo shop expert to a tragic accident that involved a fire, usb cables, and a jar of pickles. (don’t ask, I still have the emotional scars) I’ve been looking for a replacement, but it’s so hard to find one willing to work for hugs and peanut butter/jelly sandwiches these days.

    Adores: 2
  24. 2012 November 11
    Digitalaxis permalink

    To whom it may concern,

    The boys and I have found ourselves in need of a secretary, and we are looking for one of the young girls we hear about who can operate the computational electronic type-writer. The other gents have a quite amusing notion of a “netweb”, and have prevailed upon me to also find a girl capable of ministering an appearance on this “netweb”. Also, frankly, though I suppose it of little importance, we are having trouble with the micro-computers in our office, and would expect that expertise to extend to such matters. We anticipate a salary of $3/hr, including expenses. Proper attire and attitude a must.

    Good Old Boy, Inc.

    Adores: 2
  25. 2012 November 12

    Dave, you’ve done it again! And I thought you promised to be more careful. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Kodachrome!

    Adores: 0

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