YSaC, Vol. 816: This is not my beautful house.
2010 October 11
$1800 / 4br – Beutiful 4 bdrm two story
This is a HOUSE, not an appartment! available NOW!! great rental opportunity.4 bedrooms, three bath, large living room and kitchen with balcony/ deck. bonus room/extra living room down stairs.
two car garage, with additional parking off steet. great family home.
dish washer, stacked washer dryer upstairs, front loaders down stairs.
off of quiet cul-de-sac in a nice martha lake neighborhood.
call Teddy @ ###-###-#### for apointment and details.
$45 non-refundable credit check fee.
This is a HOUSE! A HOUSE, you hear me? NOT an apartment. A HOUSE!
Oh, and look! There’s a picture:
A HOUSE, dammit! A HOUSE!
Thanks, Cindy!
Just what I look for in a house – four bedrooms and four wheel drive.
Is “Tardis-car in a driveway” a step up or a step down from “van by the river”?
Oh the places you’ll go!
Yeah, well, you may ask yourself, well how did I get here?
Where is that large automobile (oh, right there)?
Same as it ever was.
Once in a tardis lifetime.
I’d say a step up, save for the fact that the van by the river has candy. Oh, such sweet candy…
I thought she was kind of bitchy…
You get what you pay for.
What?
I heard Daleks give bigger tips…
What?
Oi, don’t bring my mother into this!
Quoi?
A better question is “Is a tardis-car in a driveway better than a Tardis-cabinet in a garage?”
You say four bedroom, I say four seater, let’s call the whole thing off.
It’s a mobile home!
It’s absolutely perfect. I would always pop my kid into his car seat for those nights he was having trouble sleeping and drive around. Absolutely ingenious solution. That’s a real moneymaker, right there. Now I can do the laundry and run errands at the same time.
*someone else has to come make the cookies though*
LL your avatar should be able to make them a deal on homeowners insurance…
Will their homeowner’s insurance go up if they get a moving violation?
Probably. And you would have to have both comprehensive and collision on your house.
Is that in case they are burglarize by a drunk driver? Wait, that doesn’t even make sense to me.
If you needed to do home repairs, would you have to go to Home Depot or Auto Zone?
I’d go to Sears. They have the best of both.
Yeah! I can totally see the house numbers on it: 442 Muscle Car Drive
And that thing sticking out of the back must be the mailbox.
I thought it was the hot tub. Thanks for clearing that up NMN.
What, no spoiler? All the new houses have spoilers these days.
The Spoiler?
Ok, so the stack washer-n-dryer are upstairs at momma’s house (but it’s unner the carport. soes youse can park yur house unner it).
But momma is behind on taxes; so y’hafta help put on a show, and the show makes major bux, and the tax bill is paid, an’ alls y’hafta do is fold the res’ of the laun’ry.
The end.
(there’s pie in the fridge, it’s rhubarb, but it’s got real whipped cream on’t)
… and then he said “I see dead people” and then we found out that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time!
And then the boat sank and Jack died and Rose lived to be a hundred or something.* The End.
*Allegedly; I still haven’t seen it.
And then it turned out to be a dream the whole time.
Mudsy, I haven’t seen that one yet! Aw, dang.
Rhett leaves.
Soylent Green is people!
And says a shocking expletive (if one well-earned)
Ash is back at the S-Mart, when the evil witch returns, and he uses a winchester repeater from Sporting Goods to send her to her just desserts.
Darth Vader is Luke’s father.
Rosebud = sled
Dumbledore dies.
The cake is a lie.
He was actually a patient.
He married his mother and killed his father.
Caesar dies in Act III.
The boat sinks at the end.
Isn’t Aaron Burr involved somehow?
John dies at the end.
Hayden is arrested.
Everyone lives happily ever after.
There are zombies on the island,too.
The earth is covered in water, and humanity survives.
The world is frozen.
The baby is returned to his tribe.
They are rescued.
Everything explodes.
The kraken was unleashed.
Bella is pregnant.
*Shall I keep going? Why, I think I will.*
There’s a big party.
Max and her flock reunite. (obscure-ish book)
Voldemort is defeated.
*That’s enough.*
Oooh who can guess which books and movies those were?
Everyone dies including Rosencratz and Gilderstern. Everyone killed him except Poriot. The woman is really a man.
The village is actually in modern times.
NMN:
John dies at the end. ?
Hayden is arrested. ?
Everyone lives happily ever after. Generic
There are zombies on the island,too. ?
The earth is covered in water, and humanity survives. 2012?
The world is frozen. The Day After Tomorrow?
The baby is returned to his tribe. Ice Age?
They are rescued. ?
Everything explodes. ?
The kraken was unleashed. Clash of the Titans?
Bella is pregnant. Twatlight?
*Shall I keep going? Why, I think I will.*
There’s a big party. ?
Max and her flock reunite. (obscure-ish book) Maximum Ride?
Voldemort is defeated. Harry Potter?
“Hayden is arrested.” Catcher in the Rye.
“John dies at the end” John Dies at the End.*
“There are zombies on the island, too” I think it was Dawn of the Dead 3.
“They are rescued” and “Everything explodes” generic and I wish, respectively.
“There’s a big party” I pulled that one out of my asshat.
I’m amazed you got Maximum Ride….I don’t know anyone else who has read those books.
*Seriously. It’s by a member of Cracked.
Also, as to “Bella is pregnant,” I think that will be…interesting…for the movies. In the book, it actually went through the..err…baby-making process.
Wait a parsec…
Dumbledore dies?
Luke finds out that the person he had a crush on was actually his sister. SQUICK.
NMN – Catcher In The Rye- It’s Holden not Hayden
Holden, Hayden….same thing nearly, right kelly?*
*That is not a typo. Had to do it, sorry.
She wakes up before he does, thinks he is really dead, and stabs herself. He wakes up, discovers he doesn’t really like her all that much, and goes on to a happy, wealthy life.
Well since we’ve moved on to books:
Jesus is crucified.
Didn’t Jesus do some other stuff after that?
Cylons look like us, now.
They never get off the island.
Spock isn’t really dead.
Gandolf isn’t really dead.
They acquit the boy.
Wash is Alpha.
Hank stays in the past.
They have to rebuild the bridge.
His sister-in-law, Kristin.
They both get shot by hicks.
Ooooh, I know one.
His sister-in-law, Kristin.
That would be J.R.Ewing on Dallas.
This is starting to sound like Part II of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf”.
Yes, it’s nice they made the numbers that big so the fire department can find them easily in case of emergency. Or the crack dealer.
And the three bathrooms must be what used to be referred to as Motorman’s Friend. Not the best but better than pulling over every half hour.
Are we there yet?
No!! — now go clean your room. Don’t make me stop this house again!!
I feel like I’m in the middle of a bad dream.
I think the bathrooms are those trees in the background. Bonus – free wipes!
Hey!! Go easy with those wipes!! Whaddya think, they grow on tr… oh.. yeah… um…
And remember – leaves of three, don’t wipe with me!
I know it’s a mobile HOUSE. I just can’t see the washer and dryer upstairs. With all of these dang kids around, that’s a deal breaker for me.
Well, the dryer is under the hood (engine), while the washing machine is anywhere on the outside of the car. Whenever it rains is when the clothes are washed.
NMN — are you related to my son. That’s exactly how some of his NC State tee’s look like they were washed. Maybe it’s just a teenage guy thing.
Seems perfectly normal to me.
ACG are you local to NC State too? Or did you
banishsend your son here from somewhere far, far away?Oops, forgot to close something…
“Oops” is not a word a bombdude should be uttering. Should we all be running now?
Speaking of, does this house have a bomb shelter or are you just supposed to “punch it” in the event of an apocalypse?
Bombdude – Yes, I am local to NC State. My son is, hopefully, still is a couple of years away from college full-time; although we did go over a couple weeks ago to talk to them about Calculus and Physics over the summer. I keep calling State the “Cow School”, but he doesn’t care.
Hehe. No. As long as I am not running, you’re probably ok.
Unless I’m already a pink mist… Of course, then it’s too late to run.
Bombdude, were you in my neighborhood last night? ‘Cause there was a big boom and flames and smoke.* The emergency vehicles were already there, however, so I wasn’t too fussed. And it didn’t make the news, so I don’t know what it was, except for being not a big deal. But I was wondering if that was you.
*Totally true.
*in my best Ricard Ducent voice*
It wasn’t me…
I don’t see the balcony / deck either. Or is that on the hood?
I think the balcony is that thing sticking out of the side, with the fancy mirror.
The deck is that area behind the rear seat where the stereo speakers go.
You said… “behind the rear” …… hehe….
*I’m feeling particularly juvenile (aka beavis and butthead/south park) this morning*
I found all the other stuff! It’s in the “house addition” that’s not pictured. It’s the first picture on this page.
Sweet trailer.
In Texas, you have to get two inspections on those; one for road-worthy; the other for habitability. The folks with the horse-&-travel trailers still grump about that.
I used to have a ’77 Monte Carlo that was way bigger than the house pictured. I’m kicking myself for selling it for parts instead of seeing the investment property potential .
You could have time-shared it out.
😉
AND your time share could be anywhere you can park the house. Rio, London, Paris, Witchita Falls, even Rainbow, CA. How special is that?
Witchita Falls? People actually go there for vacation?
[panhandle corey]
Yeah, from Archer City, Panhandle, Guthrie, and the like.
Except, if you are in Guthrie, it’s about the same distance to Plainview, which is now “wet” unlike Lubbock.
WF is actually very pretty, especially the park by the Falls. This time of year it’s very nice.
Couple months ago . . .
Well, Hot, going on molten, with dried moss on the rocks–WF Animal Shelter starts eunning out of flea powder for the fish in August sometime, like as not . . .
[/corey]
I’ve never been to Witchita Falls, but it’s probably the only place you listed that the Monte would have made it to…maybe.
It’s not an “appartment,” but could it be an apartment?
/pedantry
My mind is trying to wrap itself around this: It has a two-car garage, but it IS itself a car, according to the picture. Can you have a car within a car that isn’t approximately Matchbox-sized? How do you get the two cars into one? This is too meta for me this early in the morning!
Lola — here is an extra large slice of coffee and your newly filled flask.
Omnomnom … Thank you, kind Artsy, may I have another?
Of course. Anything to make Monday go down a little easier.
Maybe there’s a tow hitch on the back for extra vehicle storage?
Well, I can fit one smart car in the bed of my truck. Maybe if it were a long bed instead of short I could fit a fortwo and a motorcycle. But at most I think you could only fit one Vespa in the trunk of this house.
Blame the over-pressure from the lesser kaboom last night–such things are disorienting.
Mind boggling from thoughts of a couple Segways in the trunk . . .
Lola: An “appartment” is what they will be called when Steve Jobs takes over the world. Because there will be an app for that.
iJobs’World to be released in 3 … 2 …
Talking Heads title FTW. I suspect I have my earworm for the day, now – and it’s better than most.
If HOUSE = car in Sparkese, does “appartment” = bus?
mobile home = bus
apartment = cab
studio apartment = bicycle
tent = plastick wllbarro
yacht = bathtub
Limo = mansion
Armored car = bank
Jeep = military base
El Camino = Heaven
Cindy, is that a “Regular Show” reference? The cake episode?
kelli = Queen of the Universe
Lola: I don’t know what “Regular Show” is. I only know that El Caminos rock. 🙂
Cindy, it’s from the Cartoon Network. In that episode, one of the characters dies (or something) and is taken to his … deities (??!?) by an angel-type thing driving a heavenly El Camino. (Apparently someone else likes them as much as you do?)
kelli, is it sad that I recognized most of the anime in the BumbleBee Tuna song?
Or, that I recognized all the FLCL bits?
What’s with Hou- oh I get it.
Sold!
AAAUGH! I wasn’t expecting the comments to stare back at me.
I think IF just likes showing off his mad posting skillz.
Now I really feel like “Somebody’s Watching Me”.
Yes, please.
Anyone else notice the amount of doors IF is getting, even though there is no actual comment in his post?
I’m not complaining, it’s just…
:stares at picture:
What was I saying?
I’ve already ruined two monitors trying to poke it’s eyes out…
What? No hughe jokes?
So your saying IF’s House has a lot of doors?
Ooooh, very nice. Have a door of your own.
If he get’s 42, then we’ll know House has the answer to Life, The Universe,* and Everything.
*included the oxford comma to alleviate pedantry…
*starts singing So Long and Thanks for All the Fish*
Singing in Dolphinese; English, or Skaren?
E) All of the Above
*invokes Vogon Chorus*
All must now roll for DP!!
Meep.
Beaker, how dare you use such language?!
Everyone, give doors to IF’s image. I want to see a House-in-the-box tomorrow.
**pictures House-in-the-box, as in a Jack-in-the-box**
Creepy.
Although, I think House would rather be in the Golden Lotus.
If you watched the show, you would remember he already has been. Cuddy.*
*Is that how it’s spelled? That’s how it sounds.
Yes, I know. But I mean if he were to ever visit the Snark-Lounge.
**looks around at the Lionel Ritchie cheese head, the bronze lady table, the line cowering in a corner, and the electric ladies of relaxing**
I think we’re a bit high-brow in here for him to bring Cuddy along, y’know?
I’m going to have to go back through the archives. Electric ladies of relaxing?
Try looking at the “Turing Test=Fail” tag.
Buick House
By: The Carmadoors
It’s a Buick—-house
Mighty motor, just lettin’ it all burn out
It’s a Buick—-house
The rear end is jacked and that’s a fact,
ain’t holding nothing back.
It’s a Buick—-house
It’s the one, the only one,
who’s built like a dragster
We drive together everybody knows,
and here’s how the story goes.
I know it’s got everything
a car house needs, even a can, yeah.
How can it use, the gas that it use
442, what a winning hand!
The color it wears, the racing tires,
make an old man wish for younger days
I knows it’s built and I know how to grease
Sure enough no knocking in its engine, please!
Wax it down, wax it down now
Pronouncing “Buick” as one-syllable to better fit the meter (“bwick!”) is cracking me up, here.
Many doors, puppy dog.
“If you lived here, you’d be home by now!”
“If you lived here, you’d be room mates with Bo and Luke!”
Good thing my outfit would be Daisy Duke shorts … not a lot of closet space in these babies, I hear.
Whoohoo!
True enough, those short shorts have dinky pockets <G>
If you ride shotgun, you turn the HOUSE into a SHACK! *lame, I know, but I’m at work, and the creativity is being sucked right out minute by minute*
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), if Daisy Duke was in the “house” it would’t be a shack, it would (or could) be considered a bordello.*
*Don’t look this up. Do not ask where the term bordello was learned.
“If you lived here, you’d be waking up with a stick shift in your crotch.”
That’s no stick shift…
Oh, pardon me and excuuuuuuse me —- a cup holder.
Hammy — what kind of puppy is your avatar?
Cardigan Welsh Corgi.
Her name is Tory, That litter is 3 years old now.
And it’s Mudsy with the set up, Hammy on the assist, Mudsy drives it back to Hammy, Artsy goes for the block, SHE SAVES!!
Ya know, I did have a come back to Mudsy but I don’t want people to think I’m crass…
What?
Nobody *thinks* you’re crass…
Details, details! It’s a ’68 Olds 442 for $1800 – Fantastic………
Hey details are important! A house that old with that many bedrooms has probably seen it’s share of kids and pets. Not at all minty.
Yes, details are important. I was wrong, this is a ’75 not a ’68. Not really worth a house after all………
See, they couldn’t show the columns on the house, so they used a colonnade coupe instead. Perfectly logical to me.
I couldn’t resist… I just had to…
Well that sucked. There was a link and evert’ing… and I can’t edit to fix… oh well.
I’ve always wanted to live on the Dukes of Hazzard.
Making their way, the only way they know how,
And that’s just a little bit more, than an appartment would allow.
And they keep showing my hands and not my face on tv . . .
Well you got the Hazzard part with the poncho.
The Moose of Hazard.*
*Did I forget a “z?” Or didn’t I? You decide.
“stacked washer dryer upstairs, front loaders down stairs”
The craigslist version of “liquor in the front, poker in the rear?”
And here I thought you were going after the stacked comment. Good dodge, Bianchi!
Well, the stacked comment is a hard on to miss.
Hehehe… uh.. huhuh…
Yeah, right there with ya Musdy…
Psst…Mudsy didn’t say that. Bianchi did. Maybe if I keep whispering only you will notice this, bombdude.*
*probably not true.
HEY! WHACHOO BEIN’ ALL SECRET-LIKE FOR? WHAT’S THA? BOMBDUDE THOUGHT BIANCHI WAS MUDSLICKER? HEY EVER’BODY! LISTEN TO THIS…
Look at Mudsy’s comment above where she was feeling all immature/beavis & butthead/southparkish. *That’s* what I was referring to…
Hehe… I believe yesterday was Immature Monday for many people.
This might be just the place I was looking at for a Bed and Breakfast!
More like a Bed and Fastbreak…
So this is Not.An.Appartment?
I’ll start the car
you place the flowers in the place designed for cups.
Staring at the road for hours and hours
While we listen to the am radio
Only am.
Come to the back seat
And rest your head for just five minutes
I just filled the tank.
Such a cozy car.
The windows are illuminated
By the cop car telling us to moooooooooove
We can’t park here.
Our house is a very very very fine car
With a V6 under the hood
Life used to be so good.
Now everything is minty ‘cus of you
I suddenly think this house has a touch of Howl’s Moving Castle about it. Depending on which door you leave by, that determines the land you will be in. And like a Tardis, the inside is much different than the outside.
That’s what I thought too, Windrose, but I couldn’t remember the name of that movie and Howe’s Walking House didn’t sound right.
christina, Chthulhu made a model of Howl’s Moving Castle. A very small model. He used a hair for the rope holding a bucket. Here’s a link:
http://mikehungerford.deviantart.com/gallery/#/dt3i0u
If you click the Next button on the left, you can see the model from the back. 8) He gave the model away at a sci fi convention a few years ago. Oh well.
Wow! I’m in awe of his paper models! I wish I had the talent and patience to do that.
I knew money was always tight for the Weasleys but I can’t believe they’re selling the car with the charmed inside. Mr. Weasley really outdid himself with this one; he didn’t just make the inside big enough for everyone, he made it into a house! Nice wandwork!
I love magic! But the real question is:
WILL IT
BLENDFLY?*is not thinking about Mr. Weasley’s “wand work”*
Hee hee hee. Nor I. *looks innocent*
Windy, I am not renting this house after you drive it to London and Paris.
That is a question I have never had to ask prior to purchasing /renting a home…
“How many miles she got on ‘er?”
Yeah, that’s a question usually reserved for match.com.
Isn’t Match.com a dating service for pyromaniacs?
Random thought. Why are there pyromaniacs, but no aquamaniacs?
Also, a question to anyone who feels like answering: What maniac are YOU? Post your comment below (but you already knew that).
Watering something down is generally not as exciting as burning something down…
*Lets watch as Albert, a convicted aquamaniac, returns to the scene of the crime*
Bar patron, “Pbbbbbbbbbt, who put water in my whiskey!”
Aquamaniacs are more commonly known as barkeeps.
Well, Hammy’s a Pamamaniac. Anyone else?
I’m an avianmaniac.
Exterminamaniac.
Tankie, how about Wichita? The Grand Canyon? Yosemite? I can load the house on a flat bed tow truck and meet you there!
Those would be fine. Capn has sold me on Wichita Falls. It’s just the general moistness that would be left after a drive to London that worries me.
Rosebud is a sled he had when he was a kid.
D’oh! You beat me, Tanksy! (Of course, it ended up down here, not enthreaded. Stupid interface.)
Yeah, that’s what I get for being good and using my blasted blackberry. We hates it, my precious!
When I’m testing out new phones next month, the first thing I’m going to check is how they work with this site.
*agrees with Christina’s priorities*
My phone is tiny and almost useless – this site basically crashes it. I can’t figure out why, because I snark on it constantly.
Hey Windrose, because no one else mentioned it, Penny in TX is in the box! Not only did I look, but I did a double take because one of my dogs is named Penny, and she’s in TX, and I was wondering where she learned how to use a computer.
Thanks, christina! I guess you have a more talented pup than Hammy!
Her belly is marginally safer to rub. She’s a white dog who prefers to lie in the part of the yard where grass won’t grow.
“Our house
In the middle of the street.” – Madness
Those words have never been so true…
:click:
*sigh*
:click:
*sigh*
:click:
*sigh* Guess I’ll go to bed…
Ah, sorry B-dude! I am about to punch someone and go to bed myself. But you did fill the whole Talk Amongst Yourselves box for a while! Till now, in fact.
Sometimes I’m sad no one is up in the middle of the night like I am as well, but then I realize some people have JOBS. Pshaw!
No one?
*Sigh*
Penny in TX! I hope we didn’t scare you away, cause you should know you were in the Golden Lotus today! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Hazzard County!
*wipes tears of laughter away*
Thanks guys… I spent most of the day sleeping and came on to catch up… ya’ll are hilarious today. Now my stitches hurt.. in the best possible fashion.