YSaC, Vol. 849: American Gothic.
VERY RARE!!! (animal drawing)2
I’ve had this puppy for a while now and i think its done its dues. Its time for this piece to find a new home. I worked very hard on this piece and i want it to go to someone who admires it as much as i do. Im in no rush to sell this but make me an offer, also open to trades. So tell me what you have. I appreciate your time in reading this and viewing!
Contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or email me. Thank you!
This is AWESOME! I can add this to my collection of outsider art; I’ve already got this piece by a 6-year-old prodigy — this will just complete my collection! I’ve always wanted a picture of a … um … square-headed cat … with a horn, one wing and a snake’s body … and a vise grip lying nearby.
But maybe that’s not your type. Maybe you’re looking for something a little more — how do you say in English — uplifting? Representational? Crazy?
free painting (king kong)
I have a painting to give away
Brief description
In the background american busnisses closing because they can’t take the hit
All employees in bright green in unemployment lines and in the backgroung the delivery of a speech in economy,
Babies, children and women
Is called life in america not for long
In the front a shadow of big oil eating you aliveLisa
I think I’m grateful there’s no picture for this one. This painting sounds a little bit busy, seeing as how it has two backgrounds plus the foregrounded shadow of big oil, plus the unemployment lines and the babies, children and women. All it’s missing is the diner from Hopper’s Nighthawks and its tableau of Heavyhanded Symbolic American Tragedy is complete.
Thanks, Verna and Elizabeth!
Please tell me its 1st April? How can anyone want to sell a painting without showing a photo of it? Who is currently using Sparky#2’s brain cell?
Hey – randomly – I’m first to snark! Wow!
Congratulations, Tig! As the first commenter of the day you win the opportunity to decide what method we will use to destroy these fine works of art.
I’m putting in a vote for soaking them in syrup and eaten by ants.
Like the posters should be.
I’m going to have to vote that we nuke them. It’s the only way to be sure.
“I say we kill ‘im!”
“YEAH!”
“I say we hang ‘im then we kill ‘im!”
“YEAH!”
“I say we harpoon ‘im (YEAH!), and then we tattoo ‘im (YEAH!), and then we hang ‘im (YEAH!), and THEN we kill ‘im (YEAH!)”
“……i say we let him go……….”
“NOOOOOO!”
Christina – is it only the works of art we can destroy? Not Sparky #1 and #2?
If it is only the works of art I’ll use my supersonic ray gun with extra sound effects.
*if its the people then obviously it would be ebola fever with no vaccine to hand. http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs103/en/index.html *
Dear Sparky #1,
That is not a puppy.
Signed,
A Puppy
Wait … I thought you were a small bear?
Really she’ll answer to anything. Puppy, Small Bear, Bunny. Sometimes I call her Baby Buffalo just to confuse her.
And how is she enjoying her day in the Golden Lotus? Very appropriate for a Tibetan Spaniel. 8)
There are some forlorn and soggy puppy tug toys, way out in my back pasture, that look kind of like that.
I think poster #1 answered the age-old YSaC question – what the hell is a lacawates valtrus-suka? That is, after all, a self-portrait of one.
Poster #2, however, opened up a new set of (not as thought-provoking) questions. To what, in the title, does King Kong refer? Why would anybody want such a depressing piece of “art” hanging on their wall? How, unless there are words magically floating in the air, can a viewer tell that there’s being “the delivery of a speech in economy”? My theory is this is one of those pieces of art in which the viewer can impose their own thoughts. It’s just a framed canvas painted all black. The current owner sees the shadow of big oil eating everybody alive and it just goes downhill from there. Finally, the cascading depressiveness just overwhelmed this person and his or her doctor said either get rid of it or some nice men with a padded wagon will come fit you for an “I love me” jacket.
I must love my cats. If it weren’t for the big one insisting on breakfast this early, I’d still be in bed.
Yancy, I was just thinking it was some sort of cryptozoological creature, and you supplied its name: yes, we are looking at the rare, elusive lacawates vultrus-suka. Although those famous photos from the ’30s of the soi-disant Loch Ness Monster are clearer and more convincing.
Bonus points (and spiced coffee slices) for use of “soi-disant”
It’s actually a strikingly good representation of the ‘Osborne’ sea-serpent from 1877 (assuming it was done by a four-year-old).
And “soi-disant”? Awesome.
I took it this way. King Kong in a city, on top of a building. He’s broken open an oil truck and is spilling oil everywhere. The women and children and workers are all running for their lives. A political speech was going on in front of the building at the time, which I guess is also getting drowned in oil. This somehow ruins the economy.
There’s no excuse for painting #1 however.
Unless it is a icture of a number of small simians in political protest of an island city in SE Asia across from Kowloon and the New provinces.
But, I could be reading the anchorage all hong.
I think you’re right. That is, indeed, a self-portrait of a lacawates valtrus-suka, although they really don’t look anything like that. The disparity is due to the suka’s inability to decide which tentapawther to hold the pencil in, and its delusions of grandeur.
First one is an amateurish “Weedle”, yes, of Pokemon fame. It is just showing a glimpse of its’ final form, drumroll please, “BEEDRILL”. And that is why there is YSAC. Everything leads back to the Llama Nun* and Ostrimu.**
*Beeswax poetic
**How to get Ahead in Bees Knees
#1 appears to be unused art from Napoleon Dynomite. “This is a Cake, half cat, half snake. It’s bred for it’s wtf properties. Pretty much my favorite animal.”
#2 obviously represents unemployed babies’ inhumanity towards big oil.
christina, I think I have a girl crush on you today. This phrase (marginally altered so it to be appropriate to the situation) could apply to so much of my life.
Yay! My first YSaC girl crush!
And here I thought Crush only came in grape, strawberry, cherry, pineapple, peach and orange.
There are cherry and peach flavors?
*runs to corner bodega*
Peach Crush (in glass bottles) rocks. Looks around ….. no I’m not that old!!!!
Not to me, Artsy! Besides, it tastes better out of glass.
Oh my. Have not seen a flavor of Crush other than Orange since the 70’s, and that was in the Chicago area (before everyone started calling “chicagoland” too).
Slightly related note, was driving other people around antique joints (for something to do) early last week, and saw a good deal on NeHi bottles, but did not have any extra cash on me. If I had, I could have tripled my money on eBay. Such is life.
Wonderful! Thanks for the clarification, Cap’n. My husband is from Chicago and recently had visiting relatives who used the term “Chicagoland” to the point where I assumed it was a suburb that I wasn’t familiar with.
The first one you know about, anyway. I’ve had a crush on you since the first day I posted here, christina.
I don’t know if it’s a girl crush, though. Are all my crushes girl crushes, because I am a girl? Or are only the very large number of crushes I have on girls girl crushes? Can men have girl crushes on girls or does the girl have to go both ways?
I know that (like most of my comments) this probably needs some kind of unfunny tags, but I just must know what this “girl crush” means. Maybe a girl crush is really only an asexual admiration of a girl by another girl? If that’s the case, I’m not sure I’ve ever had a girl crush.
I’ve seen orange and grape Crush. I think peach would make my life complete – I love peach!
Yeah, “chicagoland” seems to encompass the entire metro area from Gary to the Northwestern campus and even GLNS. Term sprang up in 80’s and was commonplace in the 90s.
City has built out beyond West Chicago and Napierville and the like to where there’s not much greensward left at all, other than a few parks and the watersheds.
Makes metro Houston seem quaint in some ways; DFW is still “countrified” more like the Chicago suburbs in the 60’s.
My understanding is that “girl crush” is platonic/asexual admiration/crush by a woman on another woman, regardless of their respective orientation. That’s how I use it. Cf. “mancrush” for the same between men.
But, define it any way you like! It’s not as if the OED has it (yet) with which to argue.
Thank you for clarifying, Lola. That’s what I suspected. The term still won’t quite parse for me since I can’t quite imagine admiring someone I wouldn’t at least entertain the idea of sleeping with (other than family). But I know how weird I am.
It’s definitely my day for matt tags, though. [matt]So why is it that men get to have “man” crushes and women get to have “girl” crushes, anyway?[/matt]
For the record, christina’s not the only YSaCer I have a not-quite-girl crush on.
I’m going to go find a way to turn off my cranky, now. If only I had a Peach Crush. Beer will have to do.
As long as it means I am accepted and not considered a Sparkette, I’ll take it!
By Lola’s definition, I have a girl crush on pretty much everyone here.
You’re definitely a snarkette, christina!
I assume you mean you have a girl crush on pretty much every woman here.
For the men, you’d have to have a whatever-the-term-is-for-platonic/asexual-admiration-between-genders crush.
I feel
almostexactly the same way about everyone here. 😀Oh, except for the people whose gender I haven’t figured out yet. For them, I have a whatever-the-term-is-for-almost-asexual-admiration-of-people-of-unknown-gender crush.
They do indeed make peach, another life completed here at YSaC
(Now if the can quit putting HFCS in soda they would stop slowly killing all of us)
http://www.crushsoda.com/
Yeah, I’ve had a few of those “whatever-the-term-is-for-almost-asexual-admiration-of-people-of-unknown-gender crush” as well.
I have varying crush-type admirations for just about everyone here. But if there’s a comment that particularly makes me sit up and notice, it gets the floating crush of the day title, even if I don’t indicate as such.
Yes, I probably need to get out more.
Per the gender-related tags, I’m just relating them as I’ve heard elsewhere. The one portmanteau that I will not tolerate, however (it’s up there with “jegging” in terms of my personal vom-induction level), is “bromance.” I think it’s because the guys who will use it unironically seem, to me, uniformly douchey.
*runs from room, hand over mouth*
My Saturday plans have, unfortunately, changed, so I’m sitting here this evening with too much free time on my hands, thinking about stuff like this when I’m not wondering if I really can call the bodega and have them deliver peach Crush (one of them hands out cards promising to make deliveries to my house, and I have never tested this).
Lola, I think I could have gone through my entire life without knowing the word “bromance” existed and not felt at all impoverished. Looking it up on Wikipedia did give me the lovely “homosocial,” though. And so now I can ask why men feel like they have to come up with words like bromance to try and assure the world that there couldn’t possibly be anything sexual about their homosocial relationships. Wouldn’t it be better to be suspected of being gay than to be suspected of being a moron? Which is what I would immediately think about someone who used the word bromance seriously.
It would, in my book, and among most people with whom I choose to associate, but that is not the case with everyone.
I suspect it’s an issue of maturity, at least in my anecdotal observance. I’ll stop with that comment.
*forces self, with difficulty, not to get soapbox out*
Nah Lola, respectfully, you’re behind the times. Men (at least all hetero men I know) don’t use the word “crush” when describing a relationship between men. These days, it’s referred to as a “Bromance” 😉
After the fact EDIT: Oops, slow reading and then posting without refreshing gets me the Lola-mad of the day for hitting the last nerve keyword of the day. Sorry dear…
No worries, Bombdude, even if I was fussed I’d probably not say so to someone named “Bombdude” with your current avatar. I don’t want to know what that dead animal is …
8)
Someone recently (have terminal CRS disease, so don’t know who) was bemoaning the lack of good squirrel meat. So I sent a couple of henchmen out to bag one… 8)
So today I was up at a normal time, packaged up two parakeets to take to a friend, headed down the mountain to where friend lives, deposited birds, then went to bird supply store near her home, then went to Fountain Pen Collectors Meeting. After several hours, headed back up the mountain, and now I feel so worn out I could sleep the rest of the day away. And I missed out on some really good snark. 8/ Oh well, I hope I can upgrade my phone soon to allow reading and posting any time any where up or down the mountain.
That’s a squirrel?!? Dude. I do not want to know how big the peanuts would have to be to feed that bad boy.
That squirrel evidently got into a bit o’ the Herakleophorbia. Not sure I should stew it up…
Looks like a scene from “Land of the giants” to me, I think I see the Spindrift in the background…
Bombdude: One of my (male) coworkers has a self-professed “mancrush” on a couple football players.
I’m sticking with girl crush for every gender. It’s more fun that way.
The various mealy-mouthed words being trotted about for agape have as much “depth” to them as the interlocutors do.
I used to think the linkage was girl as in girlish, crush–meaning with great intensity and feeling, but with no other attachments. For a while I presumed the term was near derogatory as a result.
Once evidence and explanation mounted that it was merely an unlettered assertion platonic agape, it made much more sense to me.
Of late, though, I have noticed that the transitory nature of “crush” seems to be applied though. As if it were merely a form of platonic one-night-stand. But, the fleeting vicissitudes and habitual impermanence of the sparkopulace may have me a bit jaded.
I will continue to persist in presuming our intellignet and erudite company here means it as more than a hug and a tad less than sewing needle “blood” BFF status.
What a relief that drawing #1 is ‘VERY RARE!!!’ I’d hate to think there was more than one of those things around.
Check out Grampdaddy’s class or Manda’s house. I’ll bet there is similar and much better art work.
looks at mountain of preschool art projects currently attempting to take over the kitchen counters
Honey, fire up Craigslist! We’re gonna sell some very rare art and get rich!!!
Manda, get a cat and name it Bojangles. That’s where the real money is.
“What’s happening? M’yeah, Lisa, was it? If you could just go ahead and lay this out for me, I mean get the point across for me, maybe paradigm it up for me, that’d be swell. Cause if I can’t understand it by COB, I’m going to have to ask you to come in on Sunday, M’Kay?
That’d be great.”
**Checks for my Swingline**
Guh, I hated that character… Mostly because my maiden name was one consonant off from his last name!
Why is someone selling a picture of KittyShark’s Russian cousin KitcaSharkski?
That puppy isn’t potty trained, that’s for sure.
It is sorta tapered on the end…
I noticed the P too.
[tool corey] Sorry, but your vise grip appears to be either a C-clamp or a micrometer. [/tool corey] But, then again, that is Not.A.Puppy.
No, KittyShark is right it’s a hammer a sickle.
In Soviet Russia painting suck you.
Um, ew?
-r soul.
Happy Saturday, Snarkers and Lurkers! Today, we will be touring the Snark Lounge Art Gallery. On your left, you see the work of Art. Yes, Art made the sign that says Gallery. Good man, that. Our first display is by a very young artist, very promising, but unfortunately her mother is a Sparky, so this may not turn out well. Our two newest acquisitions are here. This lovely. Animal. Thing. Harkens back to the primitive era of folk art in South American jungle natives. This item here, this is such an innovation, a stroke of pure artistic genius. The artist describes the painting, but we never see it. We have only our imaginations to rely on to call up the scene of color and action and starvation. I think I need to go lay down now. Carry on.
Windy, do you rent the tour on tape?
If it was on tape, you could not let the art be viewed!
Kelli, sorry, I don’t but I can transcribe it for you.
Tourist #1: Why are all the snarkers wearing snuggies?
Tourist #2: What are those slices of dark stuff they’re chewing?
Windrose: Pay no attention to the snarkers on their couches! Especially give a wide berth to those in the corner.
Tourist #3: Ooh, what a cute puppy! Can I rub his tummy?
Windrose: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo
Jeeze, I can’t even have fun with the tourists.
*pouts*
Yeah, but the tourists are likely to be Sparkish–what if one wants to scrape the “flea eggs”* off?
____________________________
*Not Always Right reference to customer convinced that the nipples on her male dog were ‘flea eggs’.
Aren’t belly rubs considered “safe sex”?
Hammy, it never seems quite safe enough with you …
What?
*Installs airbags*
There, is that better?
Throw in a chemical shower and you’ve got yourself a deal!
Damn, all I have is a chemical toilet and some Purell…
I prefer my catanakebird medium well. I’d like to send this one back please.
catSnakebird. What happened to my edit button?
catSnakebird is IF’s Alice Cooper tribute band.
I pictured you as more of a “So rare it bleats”, catanakebird girl.
The problem with that is the bleating is really annoying and it doesn’t stop until you’ve finished the last bite.
But so much fun at parties!
This is a genetically engineered beast for use in Asian cuisine.
HamCan, I have kelli on line one for you. She doesn’t sound pleased.
“Hello, Kelli?”
“Hi Hammy, I just wanted to thank you for using the proper term for Orientals.”
“You are welcome Kelli, was belly is still sore from the last time I improperly replaced Asian with the “O” word.”
Have you ever seen the show “River Monsters”? All seem to from somewhere in Asia and look similar to Sparky Jr.’s picture.
So, talking to me makes you confuse tenses, Hammy? 🙂
Arstsy, you seem to be missing a word. I think it might be “come.”
I was just trying to “cover” all my bases…
Sheesh. I’d give it away, too. Or, wait, no, I wouldn’t. I would hide it in a dark closet and guard it with my life, sure that the mental well-being of the world depended on my protecting it from something so self-righteously depressing.
I own a shredder. Problem solved!
Mmmm, Catsnakebird burgers!
* Wondering what kinda wine goes with Catsnakebird*
MD 20/20
Better yet, MD-40.
Boons Farm Strawberry Hill.
Dandelion wine.
4Loco.
Sterno.
Better yet, MD-40.
I take that as a compliment on my sparkling wit —
or it means I’m an asshat.
All of the above?
Beloved sparkling hat?
*never an asshat*
Is a sparkling asshat part of the getup you wear while pedaling around all night?
*Your wit never ceases amaze me. Consider yourself girl crushed, Grampdaddy.
Sparkling Asshat is IF’s Liberace tribute band.
paint over the canvas, reuse canvas 😉
I’ll let my avatar express my feelings on these paintings……..
And I’ll take this opportunity to let you know, CoffDrop, how much I like your avatar: rather quite a bit.
Thanks Lola – I borrowed it from a Lolcats ‘tune…….
CatSnakeBirdFish
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Description:
The CatSnakeBirdFish (Felis Crotalinae Channidae Anguilla anguilla) is a genetically engineered creature created in the labs of cold war Soviet Russia. These creatures are distinguished by a long dorsal fin, small mouth, shiny short horn, bulbous head and a long snake or eel like body. The CatSnakeBirdFish is a very prolific breeder and is capable of giving birth to litters of 10-15 guppykittens 3 times a month with sexual maturity being reached in 2 weeks, reaching its full maturity at 4-6 weeks attaining a size between 2 and 6 feet.
The CatSnakeBirdFish feeds on human effluent, for which it has a prodigious appetite, and in fact this is its only food source.
Purpose:
Its intended purpose was use as a weapon to be released into the sewers of American cities where it would multiply exponentially. Then upon reaching maturity it would swim up any available drain pipe and expand its bulbous head creating a tight seal so that it can, using its baleen, strain out the solids for consumption. The seal it creates is so tight that all the sewers would back up creating very unsanitary conditions, cholera and dysentery would then spread across the population rendering them incapable of fending off the following invasion.
Notes:
There are no known living specimens and in fact there are only two know drawings of the CatSnakeBirdFish, at a recent Sotheby auction one was sold for $1,999,042 US.
Aww… I want a guppen of my very own now.
This is amazing. Where did Sparky get this fabulous example of the cave art of early Man? I believe this is from the cave in Lascaux, France.
As you know, prehistoric kittens only had one ear, which was centrally located in the middle of their heads. They also had one flipper, which resulted in their being able to move only in circles. Thus, these proto-kittens invented the sickle, which they used to remove their flippers out of sheer frustration. In this picture, you will note that the proto-kitten still has the tapered, legless body with which it slithered from the primordial ooze.
I must have this.
Tank (ot), I have a mobile snarking tip for you. Get Opera Mini, open this page and switch to the full site. Then go into the settings and turn on the mobile view and full screen options. Comments will nest properly. All the sidebar ends up at the bottom of the page.
Ooo, I didn’t know you could do that… I usually end up using one phone browser to view comments, and then switch to another one to actually make a comment. Kindof a pain…. :-p
**Now also has girlcrush on christina**
Thanks! I will do this immediately!
Or use Bolt browser, same function/usability, just a little bit faster and takes up a little less space I believe.
So it’s a magic painting? No matter who’s looking at it, they are suddenly drawn into it to be eaten? The poster has actually never looked at it, because otherwise she wouldn’t be here to tell the tale. That’s why she couldn’t put up a picture of it.
Was having fun until the 400 Bad Request Error ate my YSaC. Got it back just in time to leave again <sigh>
看到你后，香港
Stephanae has a girl crush on christina, so does TankerBell, Lola has a crush on just about everybody, Moira has a crush on Peach, I have a crush on YSac, more results are pouring in. Stay tuned. This is a crushing blow for the Snarkers!
Oh dear, Windrose, crushing blow takes this to a whole new level. The line just started trembling.
The lines of blow started trembling?
Camille, it’s time for the you-know-what in the you-know-where. You can’t hide behind Baby Buffalo forever! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night. Bodega Bay!
Okay, I know I missed this yesterday, but the all-seeing drmk* is the one who needs to see this comment anyway. 😉 I totally thought of Nighthawks when reading the second ad. I love that it’s what you thought of too. Hooray for intellectuals!
*Bees be with you.
Ha! At first I couldn’t decide whether to go with the original Hopper, or the parody that includes James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart, and Elvis, but decided to stick with the original.