YSaC, Vol. 856: It’s something to remind me.
1993 FORD EXPLORER – $1000
I HAVE A 1993 FORD EXPLORER FOR SALE. SELLING IT FOR $1,000.00 O.B.O…….I AM WILLING TO SELL IT FOR LESS. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT ME AT ###-#### IF INTERESTED. THIS EXPLORER IS DRIVEN DAILY AND HAS BEEN DRIVEN TO BUFFALO NY AND HAS MADE IT BACK. I AM ONLY SELLING IT BECAUSE I CAN NOT AFORD 2 CARS ON INSURANCE…
OK, making a post in all caps sucks, but that’s just run-of-the mill sucking.
Including the redundant “O.B.O.” with “I am willing to sell it for less,” also sucks, but not enough to warrant our further attention here.
Ending posts with ellipses is another secondary offense – we’ll write you the ticket while you’re here, but we won’t pull you over for it.
However…
Let me get this straight. You’re posting pictures taken of YOUR PHONE displaying pictures of this SUV you’re trying to sell.
Really?
Thanks for the link, Jim!
Edited by drmk to add: If only it was a dead Explorer.
I’ll be phoning in my comments today. Just can’t be troubled to actually type something here.
I was going to phone it in but it seemed like too much work, so I’m just going to yell my comment and hope someone hears it and writes it for me.
*hears kelli* ” Wonder if Sparky will trade the Exploder for a collection of boy band posters and the dollars I scraped off the bottom of a prostitute?”
At first I was like, “Huh, drmk* must be lowering her sucking standards.**” Then I saw the second ad, and now I’m speechless.
* Bees be upon her.
** Euphemism, or not? You decide.
It’s actually the same ad — those were the pictures accompanying the ad. It was suck with a side of extra suck, and a suck digestif.
Suck Digestif for band name of the day.
I’m not good with the Französisch, but should that not be
d’aspiration Digestif?
I’d be more likely to translate it as La Crainte Digestive.
If Crainte means “cramp”, I’m right there with you.
It crainte be eaten
That’s just lazy. Sparky should have scanned his phone with the pictures on it. That would have made a lot more sense.
That is a very expensive miniature vehicle.
I was thinking along the same lines, TBS … “Wow, that little thing made it all the way to Rochester?” (Rochester, NY, or Rochester, MN, doesn’t matter; I’m still impressed it made it to the end of the driveway without being run over by any standard-size vehicle.)
Being trapped in a phone no less! Pretty impressive little guy!
Most of my life. Tuscaloosa, Baton Rouge, Lake Okeechobee, Clackamas, Oneonta, and Needles are a small sampling of my favorite places to say out loud.
What, no love for Lake Titicaca?
How could I forget Lake Titicaca? Gotta love the Animaniacs.
Humptulips is my favorite.*
*This is a real place, good fishing there.
Sparky drove it to Buffalo, NY, but he forgot to mention that he was driving from Tuscaloosa*, AL and the Explorer has 400k plus miles on it.
*I just like typing Tuscaloosa.
christina, how long have you had this elegant fetish?
Apparently all f my replies to Windrose are cursed today.
I don’t want to f your replies. Especially not if they’re cursed!
Perhaps it was an ah-ha! moment driving past the city limits sign in Nacogdotches, or learning there’s only on “s” in New Braunfels (while lost on a trek from Waxahatchie to Llano to Refugio, and having to stop in Mexia to get directions to Bexar county)?
Earworm of “I’ve been Everywhere” now in my head . . .
I’m supposed tl be busy doing other things today. Please accept this as my apology for less than stellar snark.
I am doing other things today. Please accept this as my apology for no snark a-tall. But dang! My kitchen is spotless.
Oh, Tank, I think you missed a spot! It’s over here, by my oven. 8)
At second (and third) glance and based on the assumption that is a customer service counter behind him (her? shim?) it appears Sparky is posting from work and considering the angle, using the security camera from said job to take pictures of his phone.
Or perhaps he is in jail. For grand theft auto.
Would that be ironic or simply moronic?
Ironic or moronic, ironic or moronic, ironic or moronic–will someone please turn this into a song? It’s quite catchy.
Irony And Morony live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my website oh lord why dont we?
We all know that people are the same in every post
there is dumb and dumber in everyone
we learn to mock we learn to shock each other what we need to survive the daily read
Irony And Morony live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my website oh lord why dont we?
Nice lyrics! But ack!!!!
*Plugs ears*
Lalalalala! I am not listening to that song in my head today or ever!
I know. As I was reading the real lyrics to this song, I thought, “Seriously? Paul McCartney is considered a talent and he wrote THIS?”
I can’t even figure out how some of those words fit into the rhythm.
OT: It took me 3 tries and the spell checker to spell rhythm.
Well, ToB, I can’t say I’ve ever admired Paul for his ob-la-di ob-la-da, but that song is bad in every way.
An author, Spider Robinson, laid out a quite nice premise that, if a person committing a felony is a felon, then a person committing irony ought be an iron.
I contend, expecially with the plethora of exemplars about, that what Sparkies do ought be called morony.
Don’t tell anyone, ToB, but I actually like that song. And what you did with it deserves more doors than I can fling with this here trebuchet. But here goes. INCOMING!!!!!
I think it’s a built-in camera on his laptop given that we can see the ceiling. Definitely getting a work-vibe off the background, though.
Or maybe mom’s house.
It’s Billy! He has to do his work release at Momma’s house because she’s got to wear the anklet, and took it with the camera on the CCTV that they monitor Momma with.
Or mom’s basement?
My first thought was $2 photo booth, but those pix were probably too small to hold up in front of Mom’s web cam and get into the CL ad.
Aside: Is anyone else horrified by the thought that Spark’s mom may be a an intertube web-cam entrepreneur?
You mean like, webcam webcam? Like, naked naughty bits webcam? EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!
I like how the guy holding the phone is putting it in front of his face so as to remain anonymous. He couldn’t have just put it on a flat surface and let Sparky II take the photos straight on from above? Or did they not have time while they were sitting in their booth at the diner (since that’s what it looks like to me)?
For an added layer of incompetence, what if Sparky II took the pictures of Sparky’s cell phone with his cell phone?
Well, perhaps there was a documentary going on about a day in the life of a Sparky. Then there would be video of the camera taking pictures of the cell phone that took pictures of the car. Usually they have photographers present too, so there would be photos of the cameraman taping the camera taking pictures of the cell phone that took pictures of the car. They also have backup video to show the “making of” the documentary, so they’d have video of the photographer capturing pictures of the taping of the camera taking pictures of the cell phone that photographed the car. I’m just sayin’.
Sounds rather like something I did at college. We went to an all-night eatery, told them we were in the midst of a documentary of late night student life. Permission given we set up cameras on a booth, measured focal lengths; took light levels; set the sound and aeverything.
Then, sat in a completely different booth.
Anyone who walked up to the booth amd did not sit down, we took their name, and had them sign a ‘release’ form (in which, they signed to attest that they were forever more offsrping of E Fudd and D Duck, esq.; could not spell “law suit” unless incompetent to do so; and clearly guilty of signing things they had not read).
One of our professors wandered in, thought the exercise had merit, and told us we’d all get extra credit, but only if it was written up properly, and submitted for review.
Be careful what hijinks you engage in kiddies–they can be a lot of work. <sigh>
That settles it. Beau has definitely been into the deworming medicine.
Well, it’s good as Sparky Theory goes, sj, but you can see the reflection of the computer monitor in the cell phone on the pics, so I think I’m going to have to stick with the Single-Sparky Theory on this one.
Can the computer be located on the grassy knoll at least?
Say, I think that’s my missing Explorer. Can anyone read the numbers on the licenses plate?
CD, we’re going to have to wait for Hammy and the amazing technological wonders at his command to enlarge it. Unless someone is psychic.
It says “MSAGRO”*
It says: LZSPRKY
OT-kinda SJ thank you for my linkety Beesmas gift yesterday.
You’re welcome! If I were a little less likely to injure myself doing it I would probably make one for myself.
Things we have learned about Sparky based on the pictures:
1) Big fan of hair gel
2) Bites fingernails
3) Not married
4) Has a phone that looks like a game controller
5) But gets excellent reception.
Sparky also seems to be wearing glasses and to have some kind of ponytail going on.
LG phone and his carrier is AT&T
Not married? There’s definitely a ring on that finger. I’m also getting a “she” vibe from the ear, ponytail, and eyebrow.
I get “girl” from the picture too. A very manly girl, but a girl nonetheless.
I got “mom” vibe. I think this is Sparky’s mom.
No ring doesn’t mean not married. Ask any Sparky.
I’m thinking Sparky’s thought process went something like this.
Alright, gonna git some good shots o’ my baby here, I’ll just git out ma phone here … and press that button, then that one … another on– no, dangit! I don’t want my phone book thingie! Press there, and there … that … um … the hell? Oh, there, yeah. Okay, there, got m’camera up, okay, now I’mma take some pitchers. Take one from here … *chk* … now walk over, take one from this angle here … *chk* … yeah, now here … *chk* … k, get right up close to the tail there, nice play o’ light ‘n shadow there … *chk* Perfect! Alright, git m’self back in the house here an’ post these on the Craigslist, I will. Git over t’my computer here, now … what? I got the pitchers on m’phone here … now how do I git ’em on up outta there and on t’the Craigslist? Lessee here, there’s gotta be a way to make ’em beam ont’ th’ computer here … maybe this button … an’ that … an’ this one … an’ … what ‘n the hell’s blue tooth? That don’t sound right … okay, maybe if I press this button .., an’…
*30 minutes later*
GOT DANGIT! I hate this stoopit phone, what ‘n the hell good’s a camera on a phone if’n y’can’t put ’em somewhere? Why can’t it just spit out the pitchers like ’em old polar roids? T’hell with it. I’ma take pitchers o’ the phone’s pitchers with ma computer camera thingy here…
Polar Roids for alternate band name of the day – they can open for Bridgete’s Suck Digestif.
Polar Roids is IF’s Ice Cube tribute band.
I thought it was a medication similar to Prep. H
I have a certain amount of sympathy for Sparky as I’m so useless I can’t work out how to get photos off my phone onto the computer. But that being the case, I tend to use an actual camera for taking photos, thus circumventing the problem. I’m not stupid, just not very tech-y. Unlike Sparky. Ok, forget the sympathy. He’s an idiot.
Ratty, I hear it takes a cable, a sacrifice to the deity of your choice, and a significant other who is wise in the ways of the Ohm and the PC.
Cable – nope, no cable.
Sacrifice? Deity? Not in my house 😉
And the significant other is a total technophobe.
Guess those photos are just staying on the phone.
Or, one scrolls down the Options menu most phone-photographs have, and selsect Email, and one sends them to one’s self. Whereupon one then attaches the photos to such other uses as desired.
Would seem like, if the Sparkies are ‘bright’ enough to sext each other, they could email phone photos to themselves–but, that is presuming a great deal upon Sparkdom.
From my observations, sexting someone doesn’t require a lot of brain cells. Which would lead to the reason we have so many sparkies cluttering the gene pool in the first place.
I can forgive a lack of technological knowhow — that’s not at all uncommon or noteworthy. But the leap from that to deciding to take pictures of pictures on your phone puts it in “What were you thinking” territory.
Should we give Sparky points for not driving the car into whatever building the webcam was located in to take the pictures?
I’m going to say no points for that one. Sparky here either knows more or less how to spell, or knows that squiggly red underlines mean “you suck at spelling, click here to not suck,” so either way there are still some neurons firing correctly here. Or at least, they fired correctly just long enough and just at the right time to make a coherent post.
I’m turning in this comment using the voice to text feature of my phone which connects playing a lot of the spelling errors we see here.
*Translation: I’m phoning in this comment using the voice to text feature on my phone, which could explain a lot of the spelling errors that we see here.
This was supposed to be a reply to Windrose.
In other news, Sparky may or may not have been able to nest the photos directly under his ad. 8)
Oh, snap!
I will happily play comment roulette if it means I can give doors and not bog down the phone.
But christina, I thought you were going to play chatroulette with me.
Big fan of random guys being inappropriate with themselves and/or in animal costumes? 😛
Beau, that does actually sound surprisingly entertaining. However, I was referring to my version of chatroulette. cf. yesterday’s snarks.
Of course I will, Stephanae. I’ll start by betting $5 that the orange tabby lands on elebenty.
Oh yay! Are you betting on CJ’s orange tabby or Angel’s? We can roll them both, but I think the payout goes down to about 16 to 1 if you bet on both. But wait, there are only two numbers. Elebenty and brazillion. I’m going to have to work on the odds if I have to play the house. You might have to pay me if you win.
Oh good catch. Well if catmath is involved we don’t really need numbers. Besides, I think the odds are higher that the cats will jump of the roulette wheel and go lick themselves while sitting on the books that the book club members are trying to read. We may both end up losing our shirts, but I’m sure the perven will be willing to “support” us.
OMG, I’m in the box again. 8) Kudos to drmk for the Self-Punching Machine! I love it. I hope I have enough quarters.
Don’t worry, it’s covered.
:brings in punch bowl filled with quarters and sits it on the free red table in the Snark Lounge:
Everyone form a line, single file. No shoving! There’s plenty for everyone.
Oops. I thought the Self-Punching Machine took chewing gum. I hope it still works.
Oooh – World of Beekeeping ad today!
Score!
I wonder whose phone he had to borrow to take the picture of himself holding the phone he used to take the picture of the Explorer.
Sparkette is selling her husband’s car without his knowledge. She crouches and hides in a corner while she takes the pictures of pictures. Hurry—just use the webcam—he’ll catch you if you take the time to download from the camera. Now, post the ad and delete the evidence from his computer. He drives it every day, but he’ll never really miss it when it’s gone. Easy money!
Funny you should say that, because I kept looking at the pictures wondering, “Wait, is that a woman?”
I concluded based on the fingernails and man-hands that it was an effeminate haired man with a rounded face and gentle glasses. I think the fact that it’s being taken pictures of from what looks to be a webcam on either a work or public computer at a small-town courthouse may be a bad thing.
It’s a woman. Definitely a woman. I have impeccable womandar.
I’ll take your word for it. I hope we never are forced to find out the truth beyond a reasonable doubt because, well, I’m sure it wouldn’t end well.
I was going along with Beau but if you click on the pics they get bigger – the upper right has a slight bit of eyebrow that makes me think it’s a woman. The glasses are also not particularly masculine, though they could go either way.
A not terribly effeminate/feminine woman, but one nonetheless.
You can go along with me anytime you’d like! Just bring the Splenda and I’ll make sure everything’s nice and sweet 😛
Fetch me some coffee, Beau, and you’re on! 😀
Get a push cart, you two!
Okay, so we’re going with “womanesque” on this point. Should we hereafter refer to this Sparky as Pat, then?
“It’s Pat.”
Well; it’s red, has wheels that aren’t completely flat, has at least one working door, and the housing for everything on the grill and on the back as far as lights and such go.
Sold. Where do I drop off my Nigerian lottery winner check?
Also, did anyone else catch the potential pun at the end of the ad? Maybe this Sparky isn’t all bad; if it was intentional. You’ll receive my doors if you did.
Can’t “a-Ford” insurance on the FORD and another car – rimshot please. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.
I WAS JUST POSTING THAT. Jerk. 😛
Well at least I’m not the only one that thinks that way. If you’re here all week, does that mean you’re leaving tonight, or tomorrow night? Can we book you for another week before you go?
I’ll extend for another week at my standard contract:
My dressing room must be kept at EXACTLY 72 degrees
I require bendy straws for my ‘ritas
I’ll need 3 bowlfuls of gummy bears with all of the green ones removed
and, most importantly, I’ll need a computer with full internet access so I can keep an eye on YSAC .
Please sign here.
Darn it, Angel, I don’t have access to any impotant computers. Would you accept if I throw in some computer condoms?
Sorry, Stephanae, but I’d already edited and corrected my mis-spelling. You can still toss the (unused only please!) computer condoms this way though. Can never be too careful about viruses!
That’s not a very demanding rider. You don’t want your dressing room repainted? A full pound of Kopi Luwak coffee? Three dozen baby carrots each carved into the likeness of Larry King?
Ask for the carrots to be carved in the shape of Inana (however she spells it), with all 25 shoulder knees.
*Looks around the empty Snark Lounge*
*Tries on a few different I Love Me shirts*
*Sits on the lonely couch*
I hate Saturdays.
Well, I’d be happy to set up the 2×4 Jenga for you, but, I’m leaving to the football game (last home game of the season) in a little bit.
Fair warning.
*sigh*
It’s okay, Cappy. Jenga is really hard to play while wearing I Love Me shirts, anyway.
Even harder while either in the esspresso or the distilled spirits (or both).
There not being a uniform, “postal” method for identifying the game pieces making it hard to “phone in” too.
“Uh, third from the left–no the other left; no, not fifth from the bottom, from the top–no the other top . . . ”
Saturday is about the only day I can reliably get on here. Even if the computers at work would let me, I don’t have much time during the week – work and evenings alike tend to be packed. Sunday afternoons are for cleaning rat cages. So that leaves Saturdays. It’s a hard life.
We’re happy whenever you can stop by, ratwoman! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Having played the real estate game, I’d say the lounge is “spacious”, “roomy” and “private” rather than empty.
Yeah, it is kinda dead, though.
You forgot “has unlimited potential”–real estate-ese for “many uses, too many to list.”
This is when a live chat room would be fun, we would know when we were in the lounge, and could stay and talk as long as possible. Instead, it’s post something, go see what was posted in the meantime, nothing new, go read web comics, come back in an hour, post comments, etc.
Okay, okay. I’m looking into it. I’m just worried that the conversations in the posts will suffer! But I’ll give it a try.
Can I cast a nay vote? I like being able to go back and read the comments that I missed. Having a chat room would make that all but impossible.
I agree christina, however chat can be really fun.
A compromise would be to have a chat hour every day or chat day once a week/month whatever.
Ooh, that could be cool. It would be fun to have a “chat” from time to time, but I agree that the comments would suffer and we couldn’t go back and catch what we’ve missed.
How about chat on the weekends only, when the comments are usually down? Oh, wait. That would be so counter productive. I’ll just go sit in the self-punching machine now.
You folks do realize that there are these things called instant messengers that allow you to talk to anyone you want, whenever you want, right? Or is that too web 1.0? :p
The more I look at this picture which, God help me probably indicates I have a sad, pathetic life, the more I wonder if he (because I still think it is a man) is on an escalator. Note the sloping wood paneling on either side.
It looks to me as though it (I think it’s a woman, but we’ll never really know for sure) is probably on a staircase.
I’m going with slightly overweight female, crouching down as not to be in the photo, using her laptop’s built-in webcam, which is slanted at an odd angle as to make the “waynesporting” on the walls look slanted as well. The lappy is probably on a coffee table which explains the kitchen divider bar being so high as well as the expanded view of the ceiling.
So the thought, “maybe if I carried my laptop outside” never occurred?
Miss Scarlet, in the Library, with the rope!
I love you Windrose! I almost added a Clue joke at the end of my comment above.
The lovin’s are mutual, christina!
Stay tuned for a special Saturday edition of YSac Forensics: Gender Identity………
Let’s ask ‘Bones’. Something about the supraorbital ridge says male to me.
(Ha, I thought the term was *sub*orbital, so I googled it, but spellcheck suggests that phenobarbital is probably what I mean.)
This being Slow-snark Saturday, phenobarbital is probably exactly what you meant.
Mmmm, phenobarbital.
I know I prefer doing forensics while tranked on barbiturates.
OT: My reason for not posting a minimum of fifty comments today is that husband and I are finishing our cookbook. We’re using lulu because it’s cheaper than any other ideas that we had. When I went to their site earlier, the first thing I noticed was a background picture of a rooster. You know why I found this hilarious.
Cookbook update: The last word in our cookbook is asshat, followed by a stray semicolon. This is why I love my husband.
If you look reeeeallly close at the last picture, the car appears to have three doors on the driver’s side.
(S)he must be getting his/her friends to click the +1 button.
Oh, Smiley Pup! I actually went and looked at the picture before I got it. In my defense, it rained today and I got wet.
That’s perfectly understandable. Soggy neurons are hard to light.
*hears the last quarter drop, takes the last punch* *spits out a few teeth* Tanks ebery one for da punching. I’m touched. Deeply, almost critically, touched.
G’Night, LasVegas!
Wow, the last home game really rocked. Some serious defense; not a single touchdown scored by anyone. Much loudness, too, what with a records 90,000+ fans jammed into Kyle.
Was amazing to see the number of people who wound up on the field.
Was even better that we had 6/8 of our group in place for the first time in a while. Good to see them, especially for probably being the last time this year. A good day’s outing (even for the being snubbed, but that was expected, too).
Life its own self–Sunday will be a bit of a let-down. That, and all the work I need to do before my interview on Tuesday (and the under-clement weather predicted to hit about Wednesday).
I work as a computer geek and a disturbing number of the users where I work are health practitioners, thus in charge of people’s very lives.
When one of these was unable to describe a error message she “received all the time!” beyond telling me that it had a button “OK”, I requested that she send me a screenshot of the error.
What I received was a cellphone photo of her monitor. From the side. And to email it to me she scanned her phone facedown on a copier, had that converted to a pdf – sideways, and emailed that to me. Did i mention she took the photo of the side of the monitor so I couldn’t see the screen or the error message? Yep – and she is an LPN.
And I used my usual template for requesting a screenshot… which includes detailed and illustrated instructions for how to take a screenshot and email it. You know, with maybe 4 mouse-clicks tops.