YSaC, Vol. 975: Trusssssst in me, jusssssst in me ….
Help with School – I will pay
I need help with one of my college courses, the course is ethics. It is a nine week course, and I have already done the first week.
I am willing to pay as long as the work is completed on time, and the grade is a B or better. There are a few papers to write and other discussion questions throughout the week. It is an online course as well…
Please email me if you are interested.
thanks!
Compensation: no pay
A while back we had someone who was offering to sell their papers and notes for various online classes, but sadly none of them turned out to be an Ethics class. We’ve hit the jackpot today, with someone who wants to pay you to do their work for them … maybe. If you’re reliable.
Let me think: do I trust Sparky/ette to pay me at the end of all of this? I mean, it’s not like s/he’s unethical … oh, wait.
Thanks, Emily!
“the course is ethics” – a hoax, methinks. If not, I fear for the world’s entire supply of irony…
Hoax, or the world’s bestest* extra-credit project ever??? Sparky’s being out-Sparked.
*Bestness may vary. Does not include M&M-related science-fair projects. Void where prohibited. Offer not valid in Wales. 5c rebate in South Australia. Do not taunt Happy Fun Baby Slingshot.
ETA: Damnit, always scroll down. Sorry YSaKijiji (wow that’s fun to type!), I’ll get on out of your headspace. Love the stripy lion rug, though. Very sheek.
Sparky: ethics course: u r doin it wrong.
The anti-irony goggles! They do nothing!
(Sadly, I’ve heard of things like this before.)
I’ve heard of a variety of things like this before.
My, the world is ironically full of things.
Since filling the world became mainstream, things only fill the world ironically now.
you contacted the sparky from yesterday didn’t you?
There does seem to be quite a variety of ironic things in the world. And not just that hipster pseudo-irony, but the good stuff.
I feel like this is an infomercial for Oxymoron laundry booster. Billy Mays endorses it from beyond the grave.
Ima write you paper!
mudsy – I think I’d leave off the “Oxy” part.
I feel like we’re part of an ethics experiment with this.
Hypothesis: Placing an ad on an amoral classifieds site will yield scorn and derision, and possibly a paper. The paper will be bad.
You have too much faith in humanity.
And in cake.
Especially the bait-n-switch Spark’ has going.
While you are still gobsmacked by contracting out an Ethics class, you are not to notice that you will be paid in no compensation.
Spark’ wishes to eat cake, and, have it too; and is willing to let others labor at dessert then demonstrate that “property is theft (as long as it others’ property)”
Ergo the Cake is a Lie.
Ok, we’ll need Spark’s address to mail him some napalm pudding . . .
That would be the pudding soon to be on fire?
“I love the smell of pudding in the morning”
“It smells like … butterscotch.”
You do not see the benefit? I would get a free class on ethics. Maybe by the end of the studying, I will realize what I am doing is wrong. Or maybe, I will see my true calling is moral philosophy, not ethics. The hedonistic viewpoint would make me ponder the positives of a short-term free education versus the long-term consequences of cheating. I am getting a free class and real world applied ethics training. This is quite a deal…
The Cake is a Lie? Come to think of it, this does seem like a posting that GLaDOS herself would create.
Oh my gosh, another pink quilt.
I’m jealous, but here’s to hoping this turns out with my pink quilt
D’oh!
Actually, one would argue that her quilt’s red…
Yayyyy
This is the same course Enron had it’s employees fake.
Well, only the “C” level employees, and they got Arther-Anderson to do all the work, too . . .
Only buy the best.
Today’s earworm of Sterling Holloway hissing is brought to you* by drmk and her fiendish titles.
*And by you I mean, of course, me.
I think I’m going to be spending today in the corner. I completely misread ‘fiendish titles.’
*pictures breasts with little devil horns off of each of them. Then heads to the corner*
:snergle:
Dammit.
:joins conga line to corner:
So glad someone got that.
Also a bit confusing: At the top it says “I will pay”. At the bottom: “Compensation: No pay”. So which is it? Seems like Sparky is setting himself up nicely.
“Oh, you thought I was going to pay you? You must not have read the fine print.”
Doesn’t really seem very ethical, does it?
No, you see, it’s a comment on the inevitability of consequences. Duh.
This is the class on ethics.
Someone to (take/study for/ produce papers for) class on logic will be requested next semester, after Sparks has determined that his/her victim has neither ethics nor logical ability.
Sure, Sparky, I’ll take your ethics class for you.
You don’t even have to pay me.
Just send my your address so I know where to pick up the textbook.
Oh, and I’ll need your class schedule
so I’ll know when you’re out of the houseso I can … coordinate our schedules. Yeah, that’s it.Oh Sparky, I forgot. Please sent all phone numbers, names, addresses and numbers of your friends. When ghostcat and you coordinate your schedules, I’ll probably
stalk you foreverfollowup with you and your friendsat all hours of the dayto make sure you are happy with our work. It’s all just part of the service that we provide to people who study Ethics, in the fashion you described.Stalkers R UsEthics R Us wants to make sure you never forget the experience of working with us.Dear Sparky,
My name is Kushambani Tafamdral and I want to talk to you about money in the amount of 2 million American dollars…
Dear Sparky,
Where is my cockasorus rex? I am going to sue you for making my penis fall off. Sorry, I meant pecil.
*Waves Pecil around mystically*
These are not the ethics you are looking for.
Holy Clothespin Jeebus with Spice Christ, stop waving that around and put it back in your pants.
Puppies don’t wear pants.
I don’t think we can tuck it under his collar.
You know, I’d love to help you with your ethics course, possibly for no pay. Shall we start by looking up ‘ethics’ in the dictionary?
Ethics: The opposite of Ethins.
Irony: Made of iron.
I thought irony was made of aluminum.
Damn that kid I paid to take my remedial science and English courses! How could someone I hired on CraigsList lie to me?
[literary semi-ot aside]
Author Spider Robinson (condensed): “If a person who commits felonies is a felon; then God is an iron.”
[/aside]
I like that Capn. I’ve never heard that before.
Many adores!
Everyone should read more Spider Robinson, and not just because he has a kick-ass name.
Good first book to grab is “Calahan’s Crosstime Saloon” which is a collection of Spider’s shorts for Analog and Amazing and that ilk which describes a place very much like the Snark Lounge.
Warning, Caution, Danger–extreme risk of very dangerously awful, horrible, sublime, and exquisite puns there in. Very high risk of self punishment, too.
Spider coined something I have found quite useful:
“Shared Joy is increased; Shared misery is Decreased.”
Damn, I thought Ethics was the bit of East Anglia just above London. This could explain a lot.
Hmm, someone should tell the Duke of Ethics about this!
I want my ethics degree…
I want my ethics degree…
Now look at them Doctors, that’s the way you do it,
Teach the lecture at MTC,
That ain’t shirkin, there’s no way I can do it
Gotta get my homework for nothin, my degree for free.
Now that ain’t shirkin’, I don’t wanna do it,
I just wanna play Call of Duty,
Maybe spend 4 years on a Bachelors degree,
Maybe spend 10 years on a Doctor of Philosophy.
I gotta pay for free course homework,
Exam paper about honesty-eyy-eyy.
I gotta pass these required courses,
I gotta pass these humanities.
*throws a few more doors* Father Taco would be so proud.
That’s the irony of my life.
I now own and listen to most of the music FatherTaco played while we did yard work. More so ironic because at the time I hated the music.
Granted, no amount of repeat expsure could make me like Spandau Ballet’s “True.” That song’s whiney, offbeat, dissonance makes my flesh crawl.
That happened to me too. I love all of the albums my parents had as records when I was younger. I do have an exception though, I still can’t stand Captain and Tenille. I have learned to love The Eagles which I have to hide from my peers because they make fun of me. I also have a record player.
My dad used to call them “The Captain and Camille.” I hated them even before that.
The Captain and Chamomile. What we never knew was that the Captain loved tea and really needed to calm down.
[Delurk]
Hey atleast they managed to complete that first week of going over the rules and introducing themselves to everyone before choosing to run off to the fair land of craiglistia. Besides ethics is a hard class – its like they’re always telling you what’s right and wrong. [/delurk]
No, come back! Stay for a while! *places lurker bait on comfy chair*
*Puts out a trail of coffee slices leading to the corner*
Hey guys! Should I paint “Free candy” in the corner(s)?
Try “free doughnuts”. Lurkers love doughnuts.
Free doughnuts?! Where!? *starts following the trail of coffee*
*flashes shiny things to distract SisterLyle. Then goes to the corner*
That’s not chocolate, dear.
I only go into corners that offer free candy AND free puppies. Because one or the other is obviously a trap, but they wouldn’t lie about both.
It’s Audubon’s birthday Windy! Pretty birds!
Thanks, Lara! I was going to mention that today but got distracted somehow.
Not the…Comfy Chair!! *DUN dun dun*
You should delurk more often! 🙂
Ah-kun – Sounds like the first week of class is like listening to your parents when you were little.
Ah-kun — stick around, this is a good place to be (don’t rub any tummies or flash your Pecil around).
Any Lurkers that want to join
Stalkers R UsEthics R Us, just send us an email, you already have several good qualifications.Y’all are acting like the Minnie and Roman Castevet (Rosemary’s Baby) – overly eager to please. I’ll bet you’ve creeped-out Ah-kun and he won’t be back now………
I think when Sparky went to the Ethics Store, it turned in to a Monty Python skit where the store was out of everything.
Sparky: I’ll take a set of Applied Ethics, please.
Store Keep: Oh, sorry, we just ran out.
Sparky: (suspiciously) This is an Ethics Store, isn’t it?
Store Keep: Yes, yes, plenty of Ethics here.
Sparky: Do you have any Consequentialism?
Store Keep: I’m afraid it’s a bit runny.
Sparky: Oh, I like it runny!
Store Keep: Drat! The cat ate it.
Edit: Sharing Chthulhu’s project from Graphic Design classes.
http://chthulhu.com/portfolio/port05.html
Ontological Empiricism with just a hint of Trout.
Ethical nature of altruisms and breem.
Semprini… How’d that get there?
*throws doors at SisterLyle* That’s my favorite Monty Python skit. Well one of like…ok they’re all my favorites but that’s still one of them.
*Cough* Windrose *Cough*
Hey! Don’t steal my stolen thunder!
D’OH! I meant Windy. I was confused by the pictures now that you are no longer a bird and SisterLyle is. Yes it was the pictures, all the pretty pretty pictures. Also the LSD.
Yes, yes…you’ll have to excuse my friend here…she did a little bit too much LDS at Berkeley….
Wait, I thought you had to go to BYU for too much LDS . . .
Windy — give Chthulhu a thumbs up from me!!!
He says, “Thank you!”
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
If he actually was offering to pay, I would totally take him up on this and screw it over with random obvious plagiarist entries. Like submit the first page of War and Peace for one of his assignments, regardless of what the assignment is. I mean, if he’s not going to pay for good quality cheating, there’s no reason I should make any sort of effort on his part. That would be unethical.
“I mean, if he’s not going to pay for good quality cheating, there’s no reason I should make any sort of effort on his part. That would be unethical.”
SisterLyle gets my girlcrush du jour for this.
:gets in SisterLyle girl-crush line:
Follows the ghostie-cat…
*joins the line and brings a pitcher of margaritas*
I’m sensing a girl’s night in the works here. Did anyone bring a cheese fountain?
I think you should put in a page from Crime and Punishment in one of the assignments too.
Resources exist to be consumed. And consumed they will be, if not by this generation then by some future. By what right does this forgotten future seek to deny us our birthright? None I say! Let us take what is ours, chew and eat our fill.
CEO Nwabudike Morgan“The Ethics of Greed”
ETHICS NOT ON FIRE!
A meme brought into existence by sheer force of repetitive conditioning.
*Sniff*
I’m so p- PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!
I was with my parents in the grocery store the other day and we happened to walk past a display of pudding. They could not understand why I thought it was so funny that the pudding was not on fire.
YSaC meets real life…again…and this morning I am perusing a local radio station’s web page and see this header:
“DOG OF THE DAY”
Under which was a picture of………..
You guessed it, not.a.dog..it was a lovely kitty named Hamlet.
I nearly bust a kidney laughing.
I randomly spout out ‘Pudding not on fire’ to my co-workers. They look at me funny. But then again, I beat them with a crochet’ed cactus when they misbehave.
Oh oh oh! I have a story. So, I work at Victoria’s Secret at the moment, right? Well, we have some animal print stuff, of course. A couple months ago, someone pulled out a pair of underwear with a zebra print and said to her friend, “Ooh, I like this leopard print!” The friend did not correct her. I had to walk away so I could laugh at them without causing offense.
Not.a.leopard.panty.
Bahaha… I have a friend who calls zebra print ‘vintage tiger print’, in homage to another friend of ours who once asked when colour was invented (b/c old movies are black and white, right?).
ETA: And, does that make Bridgete’s Sparkette a leotard?
Here, let me help you with this lighter
Also:
Kudos to the Llamanun (BBWH) on the Jungle Book reference. It took me about 30 minutes of “Gah, that’s so familiar! Where is that from?!” before my brain finally dug it up for me. I suppose I could have Googled it, but what fun is that?
I actually look forward to figuring out the references because if I haven’t heard it before than I can learn about it. You are my teachers Llamanun (bbuh) and Ostrimu
Just look into my llamaderp’s eyes and you will see what you have accomplished
Derp Derp Squee
De-derp de-derp de-derp squee squee
Woohoo!
“I Wan’na Be Like You” would not be appropriate here.
That’s only because your toddler is not quite into the ‘watch every Disney movie ever day after day’ mode that mine is. It took me all of two seconds to get that song stuck in my head after reading the title.
For some reason Tron only likes the Miazaki films…. and if you DARE put anything else in the DVD player…
Actually, for some reason, he also likes Mike Nelson. So Nelson era MST3K is still on the table.
Oooo, I loved Spirited Away. I still want a copy of it but I never seem to have the money. *lays down a trail of candy and hopes a job will follow it to her*
He has good taste.
Mayhap I shall try some Miazaki tonight with James… anything to get a change of movie. Although lately he’s been interested in watching Charlotte’s Web, of all things.
MST3K Joel!!!
Mike Nelson: Sea Hunt!
Mike Nelos: The Monkees and Liquid Paper
The Monkees: Mike Nesmith
Mudsy, could you tell how out of it I was when I typed that? 8)
Yay! More people got it!
[pun] It’s a bare necessity that we get it. [/pun]
Somewhere, a trombone is waiting for it’s solo
YSaC invades again. I just had to take my company’s Safety and Ethics Compliance yearly training course. By definition of Ethics, I would not be allowed to accept gifts/monetary remuneration from Sparky nor contribute insider information or personally identifying information.
Dear Sparky,
Thank you for your recent inquiry. I regret to inform you that I will not be able to assist in your request.
Sincerely,
Someone who doesn’t care if you pass college
I think Sparky qualifies.
So Sparky qualifies to answer his own ad to help himself because he can’t be bothered to help himself in the first place?
I think I need to sit down for a minute.
‘splody
Sparky has that effect on people. It’s like the chicken and the egg.
Now I want some fried chicken with a side of scrambled eggs.
I want some fried eggs with a side of scrambled chicken.
“Go, I say go away boy, ya bother me.”
Compensation : no pay :: Sparky : _________
A genius!
Unemployed.
Ooh, mad libs!
Hmmm… I think I’m gonna put down “Octopus”.
Hi linnee! Where have you been???
OT?
I read an article this weekend about a former ghostwriter that did nothing but college course work – theses, position papers, etc. – for students with no intelligence and plenty of dough.
This man started in 2002, and when he quit – due to an ethical conundrum – (really? after NINE years???), he was making upwards of $55K/yr.
They walk among us folks.
/end OT?
I’ve read the article you speak of.
I had always before wondered how the greater percentage of business and journalism majors graduated from the college I attended.*
I wonder no longer.
*That is not to say that there are not intelligent people in these majors, just that such intelligence appears to be a minority given my entirely too small sample size and over-reliance on anecdotal evidence.
If I was broke and someone offered me a stack of cash to write their paper I would probably do it, but I wouldn’t brag about my literary prostitution afterwards.
Literary Prostitution = Band Name.
With their new album “Ethical Smethical.”
Mudsy, I forgot to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY on the 23rd. Can’t imagine what I was doing that day.
I just hope I don’t forget Silva’s on the 30th.
I have three birthdays listed for May, but none of them post regularly anymore. 8(
Well wish anyway! You never know… perhaps they lurketh.
To the Ghostcat with the mostest, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Sherwood Forrest!