YSaC, Vol 1038: That sound is Bob Barker’s head exploding.
2011 July 20
Spaying the Neuter or no?
I am trying to decide whether or not to have my dog’s neuter spayed out. Some people have told me that the dog needs its neuter to live a full and happy life. But other folks say the dog don’t even know it when the neuter is gone. So my question is…should I spay the neuter out of my dog or not? My main concern is for the dog to be happy and well loved.
Yes. You should definitely spay the neuter. After that, you should also rock the casbah, pass the duchy, and possibly even mott the hoople.
Thanks for the submission, Frances!
Help control the idiot population – have your Sparky spayed and/or neutered.
And while you’re at it, a bit of trepanation and a little lobotomy wouldn’t hurt, either. (Though it’s possible either one or both of these have already been performed.)
Or that there’s not enough material for a lobotomy in the first place.
I would give you additional doors for “trepanation” if I could. I like the word (if not the practice).
I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
/rimshot
Oo oo ooo ooo! Mr. Kotter! Me me me me!
*clears throat, stands up straight*
Don’t forget to “shock the monkey”.
*snort* I haz so much funnies.
So much violence – can’t we just spank the monkey?
No, we can’t do that. Did you see what happened when we choked the chicken? Puncture wounds and bloody peckers. Monkeys have uncanny upper-body strength. I want no part of that.
Damn straight I got the upper body strength. Thanks for the respect.
PS: “Bloody peckers”. Bwahahahahahah!
*gasp*
I think I squirted a little on that one.
Good point Smiley Dog – it would be safer teaching the Cyclops the lambada.
While we’re avoiding violence: Don’t beat the bishop, either.
What about popping the pope? Can we pop the pope?
My all time fave: Pat the Robertson.
Mine: Rick the Santorum.
Would it be “pee wee your herman” or “herman your pee wee”? I can’t decide.
No, EB, just no.
In that frame of reference, it would be “Go see a movie”…
Well, we are quite the sociable group aren’t we?. But it’s reassuring to note that we are capable of handling things on our own……
I have an appointment next week to have my cat’s wet sprocket toaded. Do you want me to ask the vet for you?
Could you ask him about my cats? The males have revolting cocks.
I saw a movie about a revolting cock once. I really enjoyed it.
Wait, they made a movie out of “Arguing with Idiots?”
…with subtitles.
I read that as “revolving cocks”. Hum.
Corner, Miz Monkey. Take your toy with you; probably not a good idea to share that one. 8)
“…and this one has a six inch blade, and — *click* — this one has a can opener, and…”
Corner?!? WHAT? No freakin’ way!! I protest! What about all the bloody pecker and frog flogging and popping the pope talk going on around here?!!! This is just hating, that’s what this is. Y’all are just prejudiced against small monkeys.
Heh heh. “Small monkeys”. Heh.
*sigh* I’m going, I’m going.
*snatches toy out of basket*
Heh heh. “Snatc-”
*is teleported immediately to corner, without toy*
“Where have all the matts gone, long time passing?”
We should look at this carefully before we judge the person: They have used punctuation and capitalization properly. They knew how to spell, or were capable of using spell-check. They got two out of three, just missed out on coherency.
I do hope that after they have the neuter spayed out of the animal, they consider doing the same for themselves so that they don’t mimeograph – umm, or photocopy – nope, not right……. Oh yeah, reproduce, that’s the word.
This is the 21st century. Stem cells and 3D printers are where it’s at now.
“Mooom, Johnny just handed me my ass playing dodgeball. Can you print me a new ass?”
“Right after you come in and eat the lunch I Photoshopped for you.”
“And look, I finally made you that puppy you’ve always wanted!”
“You don’t even have to paper train him … he is paper!”
Ok, still trying to shake the idea of certain adult-industry types placing their Eeyores on the 3D scanner in response to that demand . . .
If they’re eyesores, they’re not being aimed correctly.
Which will not stop the pr9n industry from running out and experimenting with 3D printers, as a guess . . .
Although, the 3D scanning part might be the limitation (“You want to put an electrically-charged ruby stylus Where!?“)
Spaying is getting a female’s tubes tied.
Neutering is … um … deballing a male.
Spaying a neuter … ligature … scrotum …
*firmly crosses legs, wincing*
I thought they just took all the girl parts out, not just tube-tying?
I don’t actually know what goes on with spaying. I’d assume it was just a tube tying since that seems easier and less invasive, but if they do the whole hysterectomy thing … well, no wonder vets cost so much.
I think it depends on the vet, they can either remove all the bits or just the egg baskets.
Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Wait, that’s a thing, isn’t it…
It is indeed a thing.
Yeah, I stared at the sentence and the various explanations for several minutes, and still can’t parse the whole thing. Ahh well :-p
Crap!! I learned something new today! And I was trying so hard not to…
Don’t worry, BD, just read some Twilight fanfiction and your braincells will commit seppuku in protest.
It’s a silly sentence that doesn’t really come down to meaning anything (unless you’re a bison from New York State) but it’s grammatically correct, as long as you want to spend five minutes unrolling it.
[knowing too much corey]
If I remember it right, “spay” is a version of espeer from spatha, and refers to hysterectomy in veterinary practice.
It’s a “large cut” as in a sword or spatha, as opposed to the “small cut” needed to evulse testes.
Both practices are less in use in modern times. Vasectomy and tubal ligation are significantly simpler. Enough that laproscopy is becoming a common veterinary practice.
If with some debate in v-e-t circles. Ovariectomy is argued as a method of preventing hormone-related behaviour and future disease risk. There are similar arguments about vasectomy versus castration in animals. many of which are mooted by performing the procedures before sexual maturity. (Even if that does pose some risk to the “prairie oyster” market.)
[/corey]
Where’s Bob Barker when you really need him?
His mortal coil was neutered with a spade.
If you spay the neuter out of him, there will be no ‘love’.
Just chafing…
Since Sparky keeps referring to his or her dog as “it,” I presume Sparky either (1) already has a neuter dog, or (2) has no idea how to tell boy dogs from girl dogs.
That’s clearly the problem. They have a bitch, had it neutered, and now want to spay the neuter in the vain hope that will undo the damage. It all makes sense now.
Boys have a pinina. Girls have a vaginis.
Is it wrong that I read that and thought “pinina” and “vagini” sounded like Italian menu items?
I haven’t had breakfast yet, but I’ll go to the corner first anyway.
Pecil? Hey, keep down the pron today, we don’t want AdSense to think we have sunk even lower.
Oh Windy…at this point, we have to look up to see the Titanic.
Lola, you are right, but only on the ‘Olive Garden’ menu. “Pinina” is a long loaf of bread, sometimes served with two rolls, and “Vagini” is pasta, tube-shaped like rigatoni, except always served al dente so it is chewier.
There extra room over there?, I’ll bring breakfast Danish.
No wonder Bacontini enjoys Olive Garden so well.
Yes, de Bacontini love to eat at de Olive Garden. Dey have de most delicious meat platter dere; and Bacontini, he certainly love his meat.
What? Why everyone laugh at Bacontini?
I originally thought Smiley-dog had written ‘pinata’ and was afraid we would have to beat it.
I thought he said that boys have paninis, and so I got hungry.
Mmm. Panini with Virginia ham and mayo.
Mmm. Eating a Panini with Virginia ham and mayo in Pennsylvania.
Mixing names of food with euphemisms = erp. I’ll wait a while on taking lunch.
My adult children call them Virginias and Pennsylvanias.
You have no idea how confused I was when I heard my oldest daughter refer to her daughter’s Virginia the first time.
Of course, her son has not learned to use the *proper* name for it, and instead proudly announces “I have a big pee-pee” to anyone who will listen.
So, he’s starting young – it pays to advertise…
I remember when my cousin referred to his as a “wee-wee”.
He was about six or so, and this was before he learned that maybe, just maybe, other people didn’t want to see his “wee-wee”.
Wait … they don’t? That might explain why the serving staff were all whispering and pointing at Denny’s last night.
I don’t know what’s more disturbing…that your wee-wee was within sight of the serving staff, or that you were at Denny’s.
“were all whispering and pointing at Denny’s last night”
Poointing at Denny’s WHAT last night?
@Astrognash: From info I gather from other threads on here, I have to ask- Is it legal for you to talk about wee-wees on the intertubes? I’m only asking so as to cover my own arse.
Funky – Best not to talk to Jailbait about your arse or you might be getting a call from Chris Hansen.
We’ve decided that MiniEB will learn the proper terms…. Though, he calls it his “weenis.” As in (and this is something I never thought I’d hear) “Mama. Weenis. Hurts. Hurts. Kissit!”
True story: A Denny’s opened up not far from where I live and the wife and I decided to eat there, since neither of us had ever been. So I had a hot turkey dinner there, assuming — foolishly, it seems — that what I would receive was a hot turkey dinner of the sort you generally expect to get at a restaurant. Instead, what I got looks like it must have come from a blue box with the words “Hungry Man” emblazoned across it. No, scratch that — Swanson have better mashed potatoes. Denny’s mashed potatoes are, I am convinced, made from pureed urinal cakes. Used ones. It was so terrible I had them take it back and I ordered the Grand Slam instead, because it’s really hard to screw up pancakes. (Though I’m sure if they could figure it out, they would.)
So now I only go to Denny’s so I can offer to season their potatoes.
The last time I was there someone ordered a Moons Over My Hammy platter and I nearly peed my pants laughing.
I’ve actually found a place that offers worse food than Denny’s: George Webb.
It was a pretty low bar to slide in under, but George Webb is the undisputed limbo king of low quality food.
Maybe it’s a local thing. The Denny’s here isn’t too bad, but I usually get breakfast food. Jeff and I went there on our “first” “date” (And yes, there’s terribly awkward story about why both of those words are in their own quote marks) and decided to go there after he proposed (at 11:30 at night, and it was the only place open in walking distance). So it could be a nostalgic thing on my part, or maybe Utahns just don’t mess around with their cheese fries.
*heavy sighing after visiting George Webb website*
What? You didn’t buy some George Webb gear? A hoodie? A travel mug? The fear of getting ridiculed is strong my friend; very, very strong.
You guys need to come over here and eat at a Harvester, or a Beefeater. *shudders*
EB, I nearly baptized my work computer screen with soup. SOUP! 8) LOL
Well, it turned out he did have a legitimate complaint (yeeouch, poor guy) but for a couple weeks he said “Weenis, kissit!” every time I changed him, and I just had no idea how to respond to that… Only after an embarrassing amount of time did he add “Hurts!” and the light bulbs went off in my head :-p
That’s hilariously, innocently inappropriate, EB. That kid could have a bright future in construction. As long he doesn’t keep calling it weenis, anyway.
“*whistle* Heyyyyyy, hot stuff! *crotch grab* I got a twelve-inch weenis wit’ your name on it!”
Sparky, the answer is yes. *rereads ad* Never mind, I thought it said spay his nutter and it was Sparky’s way of asking if he should be sterilized. *goes back to bed*
Well, Ace, I would Heart to Spade your pet but it will cost you a few Diamonds.
How much to just Club him?
I’ll tell you straight, you’d still have to be flush with cash. If you have Jack, you could just forget the idea and eventually have a full house.
Way to raise the bar Mindfield! I bet the last time we checked it our puns weren’t nearly as good. But if we pair up, I’m betting we could be two-of-a-kind and both fold in our puns to the conversation. Of course,it seems I’m always following suit when I take a premise and run with it. Peronally, I don’t think it’s such a big deal.
Peronally….go fish!
Well, you never know. If you play your cards right…
7…8… lay them straight
Canasta a question? What kind of gin rummy do you deal out here? I had all the crazy eights I can discard, and some Old Maid is asking me to hand her a Poker.
FLUSH!
Oh sorry, I had to go have a sit down in the little monkey’s room. What did I miss?
EDIT: Damn it Mindfield beat me to the flush.
EDIT EDIT: Heh heh. “Little monkey”. Heh.
Apparently spaying and neutering isn’t the only thing Sparky is confused about. He’s mistaken Craigslist for some sort of advice column.
Dear Abby: Am I normal?
Abby: No, you’re Sparky. The end.
Abby someone. Abby … Normal. I’m almost sure that was the name.
My…what big knockers!
🙂
Surely that can’t be right.
“Don’t call me Shirley.”
And, on the subject of “To neuter or not”.
“That is a mail plane – see, it has two balls.”
Not to mention a cock pit.
If there is a pit where your cock ought to be, I have some news for you.
Oh…the pit is just mens’ “wishful thinking” because their junk is just so HUGE.
*eye roll*
Spay, spay, neuter and spay!
Three of a kind beats a pair…
Three of a kind may beat a pair, but they may also make it harder to run, and stuff.
Two words: Tuck & Roll.
I think it’s more important that your dog’s Nephrectomy remain un-dialasized. It’s just the right thing to do.
Hey, hey! Don’t be talking about that kinky stuff in here! The corner summons you.
Oh, TM, I love when you talk to me like that! More, more – I must have more.
Self, get in the box. *blush* That just doesn’t sound right!
Funky Monkey, I wish you would join us on Facebook! I want to send you a private message about how much I loved the link you gave me yesterday, and how that was just the ray of sunshine I needed, along with everyone’s support. 8)
When I go to YSaCL’s Facebook page, it looks like I’ve already joined but there’s no activity. Just kind of replays of what we do here. Regardless, I can’t access Facebook at work and wouldn’t get to do too much snarking except after hours. I’ll get on fb one more time and see what I’m doing wrong, maybe I’m on the wrong site.
THE FOLLOWING IS INFO FOR WINDY, THE REST OF Y’ALL CAN TALK AMONGST YERSELVES:
The Ruiz book is worth buying. He’s kind of an Hispanic hippie and he gives awesome advice and frequently refers to Bible passages. I’ve never finished it but the few tips I’ve gleaned have given me a different attitude (a better one) about some relationships. Biggest help: Letting people own their own bad attitudes. Pissy snotty people trying to include me in their cloud of negative nancy-ness = not my problem. Just remembering that one thing has helped me SO MUCH. I don’t think expensive therapy or meds could have been as beneficial.
*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY HELPFUL MONKEY SYSTEM. IF THIS WERE AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY YOU WOULD HAVE BY-GOLLY KNOWN ABOUT IT.
*beep*
*beep*
*boooooooooooooooooopppppppp………………………*
If you go into the fora (link above, called “forums” 😛 ) you will be able to find Windy’s real name in the facebook topic. Friend her on FB, and she will get you sorted out.
Oh, I see the problem. You need to search for YSAC Friends group, not the FB page for the blog. Totally different animal. Yup. Look for me and I will open the gates.
Ah, now I see. I am a blonde (as I’ve said before).
Hermaphrodite dogs have to have their neuter spayed to really get things aired out. They may still have sexual overtures made and make them to other dogs. These dogs may be confused by this.
[truly horrible thought]
What if Sparky here is one of those deluded to saturation types that speaks “for” their dog in that most perverse of inverted ventriloquist’s act?
The hint of lolspeak would be apt; taking it a step further, and extending that to typing away a CL ad–especially since no other bipeds even to pretend to listen anymore–seems all too likely.
My soul wants to cry out for the canine in question, except that experience cautions me it’s a bundle of fur and vicious biting needle-sharp teeth surrounding a nasty disposition and more ideation psychoses than an entire APA library . . .
[soft, fluffy bunny, thoughts]
Getting out the Doggy DSM-IV
Have a sit on the couch. This is going to take a while.
However one might spay the neuter, it’s much better than what happened to my grandfather’s dog. Let’s just say my uncle used rubber bands and did it on the kitchen table.
Uncle Johnny was never accused of being smart or kind.
OW…
That sounds like the way my dad/uncles/grandpa castrated their cattle. They called it “banding” and did it to the young male calves. Pop a rubber band around the “boys” and after being denied blood flow for a while they just fall right off. No fuss, no muss. Well, at least for me.
HEY FOLKS! Windy’s in the BOX! Everyone gets to line up to punch Windy tonight. 11:00 eastern, 9:00 somewhere else. Don’t be late.
Good morning, Jersey City!
G’night, Bangkok!
Moderately pleasant crepuscular period, Walla Walla!
Crepuscular somehow seems an appropriate word for the town that houses the State Pen. (We went there, for some other reason, when I was a kid … driving by the prison and seeing the people going to visit inmates was … educational.)
WallaWalla is nothing. Try Huntsville. Lived here all my life. Seen inmates being released, families waiting to visit, seen families leaving after an execution, seen the Black Panthers and the KKK marching in the street. I’ve seen drunken college students mix it up with protestors. And I’ve seen pictures of an executed inmate on the front page of the newspaper when I was 8. And I know who the executioner was back in the days of the electric chair.
I’ve seen it all, I have seen the trees,
I’ve seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze
I’ve seen a man killed by his best friend,
And lives that were over before they were spent.
I’ve seen what I was – I know what I’ll be
I’ve seen it all – there is no more to see!
Not to be outweighed by..
Courage!
What makes a king out of a slave?
Courage!
What makes the flag on the mast to wave?
Courage!
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk?
Courage!
What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder?
Courage!
What makes the dawn come up like thunder?
Courage!
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the “ape” in apricot?
What have they got that I ain’t got?
Courage!
You can say that again!
Wizard of Oz ref, mudsy, which is why I heart you!!
I thought it was because there was a large bounty on my head.
😉
No, silly girl, that’s why I stalk you. 🙂
Karmyn – it’s southern. You automatically win, unless we have someone on here who lived near Angola,* or something.
*Not, in this context, an African country, but a notorious prison.
Well, Karmyn gets my sympathies from just 30 miles sorta west of there on highway 30.
Huntsville, Texas is a very unique place, there at the intersection of I-45 and Texas 30. Headquarters to the State Prison system; home to Sam Houston State University; location of an impressively-sized statue of Sam Houston, too.
Also, the designated rally point for not quite a million metro Houstonians, should a tropical cyclone require their evacuation.
Mind you, the only “Angola” stories I have involve driving to the Reserve Amphibious base there across the river from NOLA.
You can spay the neuter out of your dog, but if you spay the sh*t out of him your yard will be cleaner.
Not if you do said spaying in the yard itself.
Please note that the operative word here does not contain an “r”. If you have already proceeded under the assumption that it does, I hope you laid down a tarp.
I clearly see that “r” in the operative word!!! Am I delusional?
If it wasn’t there it would just read “opeative wod” and that would just be plain silly.
I don’t know, most men don’t appreciate it when you call their operative wood silly.
There’s been previous snarking on an ad that called it ‘sprayed’… sprayed and nettered … don’t ask me where it is though. I just live here.
And didn’t we have one a while back about getting the pets sprinkled?
Dan – kudos for Motte the Hoople reference. My first band gig I saw at university! Those were the days my friend ….
PS Laughed like mad at the whole listing and Dan’s comments (MBBUH)
Tig! Good to see you … except: Where’s your not.a.lion picture?
Maybe Her Highness is chilly and needed a quilt.
Pet License Fail.
I don’t think I’m comfortable assuming that when Sparkles here is talking about a dog that she actually means a pet and not a boyfriend or husband.
I bet it’s a hermaphroditic dog. That’s why Sparky keeps using “it” and wants to spay the neuter.
PECIL!
HAMMY!!! Whew, I was so afraid you would never come home again. But now the deck is finished, right? You’ll be here every day! You’re our Hammy Come Home!
Oh! Ah! Spay!
What is it good for?
Taking off your man thing?
Oh, good Dog, y’all!
Edwin Starr you are not…..
🙂
That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Mudsy.
I’m so glad to be making progress. The meds must be finally kicking in.
Spaying the neuter, eh…
Is that like squaring the circle?
Or gleaming the cube?
OT: A get it OFF ME moment….
I work in an office…on a lake…with the assorted flora and fauna – emphasis on the fauna.
All day today I’ve been stalked by, and in turn stalked, a wasp. A big, mean, nasty yellow-jacket wasp.
Never having been stung by said creature I am told, nonetheless that it is painful…very painful.
Not two minutes ago I notice something walking across my hand.
It’s my friend, Mr. Waspy Wasp.
The resulting shooting-out-of-my-chair-knocking-it-over and damn-near busting my ass machinations were a sight to see. Just glad no one else is here at the moment.
In my haste to rid myself of the unwanted passenger I flung him somewhere behind me where I can now occasionally here his agitated buzzing.
I’m gonna go find Mr. Rolled-Up-Reading-Material to dispatch the bastid to wherever it is wasps go when they die.
Carry on.
[hymenoptera corey]
Like bees; almost all wasps you see are female.
Recently consumed can of coke will attract your striped friend. As will a dark-colored object emitting CO².
[/buzz corey]
I thought that most bees are drones/males?
CJ – That sounds like our house this past weekend: “Funky Monkey vs The Fly, or How I Broke My Favorite Vase and Terrorized the Kitties and Woke Up Hubby Monkey From His Nap”. Or course, when a bug with a stinger flies in, I just give it the house. I don’t come back til it’s gone.
Capn – ” a dark-colored object emitting CO²”. I have a black cat, would that do?
?
Yellowjackets nest in the ground where I’m from… and sometimes little girls traipse across said nests… ouch.I’ll say no more.
Ouch. Poor things. I once grabbed my arm and realized that a bee was resting on my arm a little too late. Thank goodness it was my left hand.
I will presume that it would be too much to hope that we could furnish Sparky with some super-conductive fluid and instruct said oxygen-thief to spray the neutral bus in a near-to-hand electrical panel, yes?
I keep thinking your picture is a panoramic dental x-ray….
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought that. It looks just like teeth to me.
It’s a pan-dental X-ray of this guy.
Hey Windrose: I’ve left a message on the YSACL page on Facebook including my “human” name. If someone wants to friend me via Facebook that way maybe I can get on the actual YSACL Facebook friends page. I’m out of ideas.
Sigh. It’s hard to be blonde. And be a monkey.
I have no difficulties being an intelligent blonde.
/high-fives Kelli
me neither
((FM, please come join the we’re smart ‘n’ blonde club)
Monkey, I command you to Friend me on FACEBOOK! Bwahahaha! Ahem. Sent you the request, like hours ago.
Ahhhh! I never had a chance to get back on Facebook last night. Mini Monkey came home then Hubby Monkey came in from the garden and it was time for showers and dinner and etc. My excuse = You know…ninjas.
I promise I’m not ignoring you. 🙂
I just snorked reading this stuff…
Snorking is good. Lifts the spirits, clears the sinuses, scares the dog. I try and stick to a healthy regimen snorking, snarking, and Oxford commas. It keeps my Pennsylvania limber.
Oooh, a newbie! Welcome!!
AR’s right, you ARE new. Welcome! 🙂
I am filling out paperwork right now to trademark my new T-shirt designs:
Show Us Your Neuter.
Big Neuters Are Better.
and of course, the big Kahuna:
Every Girl Loves A Neuter.
So I said to myself, I said, Self, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Huntsville!
Uh, what? But- huh? I’m so- huh? I just can’t accept this is real. It has to be a troll. This is bad even for a Sparky!
Haha. Mind boggling, but it’s easy to guess what happened. This guy is gullible and has a very masterful TrollFriend.
Guy: “Spay and neuter. Which one is which? Like, is spay for boy or girl dogs?”
TrollFriend: “No, you’re all mixed up. Spaying is what you do to the dog’s neuter. You know. His…” *points to goin*
Guy: “That doesn’t sound right…. are you sure?”
TrollFriend: “Yeah, I had all my dog’s neuters spayed man. I know this.”
Guy: “I dunno….”
TrollFriend: “Trust me. The question is, do you get your dog’s neuter spayed or not? It’s a big debate on whether or not the dog needs his neuter to be happy or if spaying his neuter has nothing to do with it.”
Guy: “oh… what should I do?”
TrollFreind: “I dunno. Ask on Craigslist. Get some opinions.”
Guy: “I guess…”
Trollfriend: “Trust me.”
Guy: “okay”
*A few hours later*
TrollFriend: U mad, bro?