Ice Thongs – $10
For sale: Antique ice thongs. Cash and carry only. If interested please call xxx-xxx-xxxx. Thanks!
Okay, I know it’s been really hot over much of the US recently, but … ice thongs? I’ve heard of putting ice on your wrists or the back of your neck to cool you down in heat, but … *shivers* … this just sounds uncomfortable. And a bit crunchy. But I guess if you were in heat, an ice thong would definitely cool you down.
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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Even Sparks doesn’t want to touch them. “No, you carry them out. Go right ahead!”
o.O
Ice Thongs – what does that do for the jinglies?
Lolly: Love your new avatar.
Thanks fm.. you could say it was inspired. 🙂
Snowballs.
Would you be able to see your breath?
I hear the corner calling my name.
You can come over to my corner, I’m making snowcones!
No, no, the yellow is lemon flavored!
Yeti offers Mike and Sully yellow snowcones in Monsters, Inc. That always kills me.
Precisely, Yancy :-p Couldn’t quite remember the line, but I’m glad someone made the connection.
There’s a line in “Happy Feet” about not eating the yellow snow…
*TINKLY TINKLY TINKLY*
You keep bouncing around like that and something’s bound to break off.
But… it’s so nice to promenade.
Just banged on my desk I was laughing so hard. Particularly at the thought of icicles hanging off the TacoThong.
Taco! Hey Taco! Have you seen this? OMG, when’s your birthday, I might pick these up for you!
If I’m not mistaken, those are ice picks used in the day when blocks of ice were required to make the refrigerators of the day – ice boxes – ‘work’.
Ice thongs? Really? I’m not sure how you’d wear them for they look like a tetanus shot’s required to try.
Not that I’m volunteering mind you. I stay cool with Duru. Got hooked on it while stationed in Turkey.
E_L, you need these for the first paragraph: {corey} {/corey}. You’re welcome.
If you wore those would you be considered a hooker?
At least now we know what Tone Loc was talking about…
That’s why I found you don’t play around with the Funky Cold Medina
Funky Cold Bajingo is more like it. Brrrrrrr.
Funky Cold Bajingo for band name of the day.
They posted the wrong picture. Silly sparky!
Here is an Ice Thong and user comment:
“Just by the name alone I love it. Skinny, skinny, skinny. When I bought my ice thongs years ago I was a like “oh crap these are thin”. After years of use climbing ice and mountainereering they still look great. They are light and highly visible and never seem to absorb any water, all good things for alpine climbing. When I really want to save weight I’ll carry only one and double it up on tough pitches.”
I think that
antique
+ ice thong
= chastity belt. They would discourage me from snugglin’.
Not to mention the shrinkage…
There’s a store in my area that would probably sell ice thongs. If I posed a link, I’d spend the next month in the corner.
As for “cash and carry only,” I was so hoping for some sort of financing arrangement for a $10 item.
Only eight more payments of $2.99 and that ice thong is mine! I hope it still fits.
You just have to hope it hasn’t melted by the time you finish paying it off.
Apparently Taco Ma’am cleaned out the closet while Taco Magic was at work.
The jinglies would have been for sale, too, except it was casual underwear day at the office.
Need some support? Come on down to Frank’s Underthings! We’ve got everything you need for down under!
Bras from $2.99!
Corsets from $6.99!
Panties from $0.99! Edibles just a dollar more!
Boxer shorts from $3.99!
Padded butt inserts, three for $3!
Plum smugglers from $1.99!
All types of implants! Breast, butt, muscle, cheek and more, all priced to move!
This weekend only, save 50% on all mismatched socks! Save 75% on all scratch & dent prophylactics! Fruit of the Looms with bonus mystery stains, two for a dollar! Irregular V-neck panties just one dollar!
PLUS!
This Saturday only, you can get our insanely popular ice thongs for just $10 a pair! So cool they’re hot! Keep cool at the beach for at least fifteen minutes at a time! By two, just $15! Buy three for just $25! Hurry in and stock up!
So come on down to Frank’s Underthings this weekend for massive savings and be sure to take advantage of our Saturday-only special on ice thongs! This weekend only!
We’ll sell you the whole underwear — but you’ll only need the crotch!
What, no banana hammocks?
Ah…fresh coffee slices and apple streudel in the corner this morning!
“scratch & dent prophylactics” Buwahahahaha!
CJ: I’m thinking that “plum smugglers” would pass for banana hammocks. But I am disappointed that I don’t see the word crotchless anywhere.
Yeah, the plum smugglers are very similar to banana hammocks, the only difference being whether there’s more leg room out front or underneath. Of course, you could always split the difference with a nice pack of pear pouches.
Frank’s sold out of his crotchless stock, but some of the irregulars have holes in the right places!
Crotchless Irregulars for band name of the day!
Pear pouches. Niiiiccccccccce.
Peter’s Pecker Picked a Pack of Pear Pouches.
If Peter’s Pecker Picked a Pack of Pear Pouches,
How many Pleasingly Plump Pear Pouches did Peter’s Pecker Pick?
And does Peter’s Pecker Prefer Polka-dotted Pear Pouches,
Or would a Pack of Pretty Pinstripe Pear Pouches also Please Peter’s Picky Pecker?
Oh my. My my my. Oh dear jeebus.
I have to agree with CJ: I’m worried about YSaCL’s future sponsorship too. Maybe Our Leaders (BBUT) can get ads from the Girls Gone Wild site?
EDIT: For pennance and to make it up to Our Leaders maybe you should voluntarily go to the corner. 🙂
If that happened, I would have to re-ad-block this site during work, and that would make me sad. At least Taco’s bouncing jingly-bits aren’t illustrated!
“At least Taco’s bouncing jingly-bits aren’t illustrated!”
But wouldn’t it be cool if they were?
I, I can’t believe I just said that. Bad, bad monkey.
There are, sadly, far more spendthrift Axeâ„¢ users filling the coffers of GGW than, say, Librarians needing cool electronic OED.
The advertisers, and the advertiser dollars reflect this. Which is why Rule 34 ought more accurately be either Axiom or Law.
Sigh, not a good day at all for me.
Silly Sparky, ice doesn’t wear a thong, it wears briefs.
And now, I can picture nothing else but a block of ice dancing around in tighty whities.
There’s a Blizzard
comingout there!It’s rare to find mementos of the Thong Wars in such good condition. Even in Chinatown, most Thongs are kept hidden from the public. This definitely worth $10.
Thong Wars sounds like one of those reality TV shows, possibly featuring rival lingerie shops.
A thong time ago, in a freezer far, far away…
Which reminds me….OMG…last night I saw a promo for: “Mustache Wars” on IFC.
Sweet clothespin jeebus.
Oh, and get this…the “mustache” wars are really all about beards.
I am not making this up.
I wish I was.
This man frowns upon your derision. Or he would if all that extra-mega-super-concrete-firm-hold spray wasn’t contorting his face into a rictus.
Good lord…. How does that ever come about?
“Hmmm, I’m bored… Wonder what I could do today to stave off boredom. I KNOW!!! I could mold my facial hair into some random nature diorama!!! Yeah! I hear the chicks dig that kind of stuff!!”
I’m sorry, “Mustache Wars”? If that ain’t made up, then it’s homosexual pron.
ADDENDUM: But then they do have a reality show about sandcastle building don’t they? Sigh.
Yeah, I can imagine it showing up on the History Channel. It will be about a bunch of adult toy shoppes on a block in Vegas competing for business and trying to out dirty each other. And we’ll get to see all the clientele shopping for their marital aides. And haggling over prices for dildo-, vibrato-, er, you know.
“Oh, come on, Wally’s Wiggly Things three doors down has that double-ended engorged grape-flavored jelly canal-ilator for $5 less! What? No, they don’t have any in stock, but– aw, come on, it’s just– fiiiine. Do you take Diner’s Club?”
Silly puppy, double-ended engorged canal-ilator’s don’t come in grape.
You’re thinking of the tri-probed jelly-enforced ditch digger. Those come in both grape and extra grape.
Why is it that I find “extra grape” to be the most disturbing part of that?
At least he didn’t say, “I’m gonna grape you in the mouth!”
@Ghostie: I was rather proud of the subtle squickiness that “extra grape” brought to my post.
Objective achieved, TM.
I once knew a gal who was a contra-vibrato.
Just sayin’
Thing, thing a thong
Thing out loud
Thing out dong
Thing in hot thongs, not cold
Thing is happy, not sad.
Dave, his ferret, and I are in the box. But is the box really there? Or is it nowhere?
That’s heavy.
But not as heavy as ice thongs.
So I’m minding m y own business, thinking about A Christmas Story, and click on YSAC….. and so begins the thought process:
If these things are metal and really, really cold, and I stick my tongue on them, will my tongue get stuck to the thong?
Hep, Hep!, Ma ton’ is thtuck to tha theam….
No, no, no…. I did not need that mental image!
:rocks self while quietly sobbing in the corner:
Hey there, buddy! Watch the icicle!
But … the bell rang!
I don’t know how to tell you this, MF… but that wasn’t the bell.
*Tinkly Jingly Clinkily*
Silver b*lls….silver b*lls….it’s frozen thong on the Taco….
I didn’t tell you what that word was. You thought it up all on your own.
I thought it was “Shiver b*lls”, myself.
This post seems rather appropriate to bring up.
Wait, are you trying to tell me I no longer ring your bell? What is it? Is it me? Have I put on too much weight? Do I nag too much? Wait, it’s a bitch, isn’t it? You’ve found someone else. It’s okay! I won’t be mad. I won’t be mad. Just tell me. I need to know.
I think your supposed to rub cold things for a while to warm it up first, aren’t you?
Talk about cold. I mean it doesn’t look like they would be very comfortable, does it?
I didn’t know that Jadis knew how to post on Craigslist. Or is someone else selling her panties?
Just realized that many of you may not know who Jadis is. I should have just referred to her by her title, (Ice)Queen of Narnia.
Wonder if she’d barter for a box of Turkish Delight.
I feel speshul ’cause I knew who you meant.
>.<
\_/
Silly Sparky, that’s not an ice thong, it’s a… um…
*tilts head to left*
Um…
*tilts head to right*
It’s a statuette of a one-armed man with bandy legs. Obviously.
I see a sailboat. On fire. In the Arctic Ocean.
I thought it was the processor for my catulator.
I just realized something…or three…
1) We are all going to have to spend a considerable amount of time in the corner..like from now on.
2) I’m hoping Monica has sufficient coinage to keep our benevolent overlords (BBUT) from having to sit on the corner of Jingly and Thong with signs reading “Pleaz Hulp A Vetran”, their slightly undernourished dog wagging his tail at passersby as they try and make enough money to keep the site alive.
3) GoogleAds is never going to believe the llamanun’s explanation of the PG rating to the site. Ever. Again.
I love YSaC.
Where you can laugh hysterically, be squicked out, sent to the time-out corner and propositioned all in the same post.
Can’t we just shake out the couch cushions for the loose change?
I’ve already canceled my Google Ads account, and am looking at a couple of other ad providers — and telling them about my problems with Google upfront so that they can run away screaming if necessary. (So far nobody else has a problem with the site!)
Monica (BBUH) has sponsored the next week as well, so I have some time to do my research.
Hey, let’s have a virtual bake sale! You tell us what you baked, we send money to the blog, and then you put the baked goods on the cup holder! Profit!
I’ll make some peanut butter and jelly sammiches!
:gets out Sammich-Squishing Mallet:
Here, ghostie, use my VCR.
I’ll make a banana pudding.
It’s okay if the nanners got fur on them, right?
With three cats I’m used to finding fur in my food. I’d be more surprised if I didn’t.
I made cupcakes. They are yellow cake with chocolate chips baked in and have milk chocolate frosting.
Austrian petit-four tort:
Eleven layers of double-dutch chocolate and hazelnut cake, each layer iced with a glacé of 81% chocolate cut with Maker’s Mark; then frosted in white chocolate genache with creme de menthe.
Since the ‘gredients would be out, hazelnut napoleans noir, too. Deveil’s Food chocolate cake in biscuit-cutter rounds, topped with creme anglais around of hazelnut brittle, then slathered in 72% grenache and sprinkled with fresh raspberries.
Yes, please.
Roâst Beéf a la SammÃch
Take two slices of bread. Lay them on a paper towel so that they resemble a butterfly with its wings open. If you have Kaiser rolls, forget the bread and use that instead.
Grab a small microwave-safe plate.
Place a slice or two of American or Swiss cheese on the plate, and a paper towel over that. Microwave for thirty seconds or so.
While it Microwaves, take some sliced roast beef from your refrigerator. Place about four or five slices on the bread. If you have lettuce and tomato, be sure to add some of that. Wait until the cheese has started microwaving.
Take the cheese out of the microwave, and grab a fork. Maneuver the cheese off of the plate and onto the slice of bread which you have not place the roast beef on.
Quickly fold the pieces of bread together as if you were makin’ a sammich, because that’s what you are doing.
Eat. EAT, dammit.
See, I can make myself a sammich.
It’s as cold as ice
You’re willing to sacrifice your thong
You’ll never entice
Someday I’ll pay your price? How wrong!
I’ve seen you before
You’re on here all the time
Selling your doors
And a donkey’s behind
You think I’m a sap
I will never buy
A fortune in crap
I’m never that high.
It’s as cold as ice
You’re willing to sacrifice your thong.
You want some advice?
Don’t sell used lingerie, it’s wrong!
*lights cigarette lighter, holds it over head*
Sis-TER! Sis-TER! Sis-TER! Sis-TER!
And thank you for the Foreigner ear worm!
OT: MF, this is for you.
Can’t sleep, baby Busey will eat me.
Those. are. AWESOME! I would totally put those hypothetical baby dentures in my hypothetical baby.
Maybe that’s why I haven’t had a kid yet.
You could always get some of these for any babies you see on a regular basis. Who needs to sleep at night, anyways…
Awww… The vampire fangs are kinda cute.
:makes note for next office baby shower:
Is it (too) weird that I think those things are cute?
Imagine the wreckage he could do breast feeding!
EDIT: I read the rest of the article, the disclaimer says to NOT use these while breast feeding. D’oh!
[OT]
Me: “No, I’m sorry, that company was bought out by [company] about six years ago. I can give you their number.”
Him: “Okay, sure. Go ahead.”
Me: “1-800…”
Him: “Yeah,”
Me: “555…”
Him: “Yeah,”
Me: “1212.”
Him: “Okay, wait, let me get a pen…”
Me: *headdesk*
It’s sad how often I have this exact conversation.
[/OT]
You and me both, ESP. I’m no longer surprised when someone calls for a vital gotta-have-it-NOW! bit of information and then asks me to wait so they can find something to write with.
Me, too…only when I hear the “…get a pen…” line, this is – and I swear I do this – my line:
“WHY DID YOU CALL ME, IF YOU WERE NOT PREPARED???”
I don’t really shout…at least not loudly.
*They* always apologize, and then I pretend to calm down and say:
“Fine. Just don’t let it happen again.”
Sigh…crazy is good.
I’ve been tempted to do that, but with my luck the person would get all pissed-off and I’d end up getting fired.
Another one of my “favorites” is when someone is returning a call but has no idea who called them, they just called because the number showed up on their Caller ID. Makes me want to track down the inventor of Caller ID and fill their sinus cavities with fire ants.
Mmm, spicy.
The “someone called me from this number” drove me crazy when I worked at the hotel.
You know, it’s bad enough that I get this from end users, whom we do not serve (we’re further up the food chain), but I get this from dealers who are calling me for the explicit purpose of getting part numbers and specs and such from me.
[requesting corey-fication] Wait, is it true that 555 is the ‘movieland’ area code? I’m sure I read somewhere that it’s some kind of weird legal requirement that all phone numbers in movies, tv shows, etc., are prefixed with “555”, as that number’s annexed as ‘do not use’ so that they never give a real number out to the masses*. It somehow seems both unbelievably farsightedly clever and yet extremely weird to me.
Any Yanks out there wanna weigh in? [/request corey-fication]
*’the masses’ here meaning ‘Sparkies who would call said number and be disappointed when Brad Pitt / Marge Simpson / President Jack Bauer couldn’t come to the phone on account of not being real’.
Not area code, but prefix… in this example, “800” is the area code. Ish. And yes, as of lots of years ago Hollywood decided to put 555 for everything, so it wasn’t a real number.
[corey] Actually, only a range of 555-0001 and 555-0199 have been specifically set aside for fictitious use in TV and movies. Almost all of the rest have been released for assignment.
There are a few exceptions. For example, 555-1212 (no area code) will take you directory assistance, the same as 411. 1-XXX-555-1212 will take you to directory assistance for the XXX area code. 1-800-555-1212 (the one I used above) will take you to directory assistance for toll-free business numbers. 1-800-555-1111 in Canada will take you to a Bell Canada operator. [/corey]
*claps hands*
I’m learnding!!!!!
Yeah, it did seem weird that they’d set aside 10, 000 numbers just so’s The Young and the Restless didn’t accidentally give out old Mrs Simkins’ phone number by accident. The 200-mark is much more reasonable.
Eek, I ate the “Talk amongst yourselves” box!
Wha? How? Why?
Much more questions, too many to list.
Did it taste like yellow snow-cones?
This post isn’t supposed to be here. Somebody please call the bouncer.
(OT)
I bought a new set of knives about 2 years ago that were advertised to be great quality and “Never Need Sharpening!”. Last year I cut a chunk out of my thumb with one of them and bled so badly that Hubby Monkey thought I should go to the ER. I cut myself AGAIN a few weeks ago while slicing veggies for a sammich.
Last night Hubby was slicing some tomatoes from our garden preparing to make his world-famous, Tastes-So-Good-You-Wanna-Slap-Your-Mama Salsa. I went to check on his progress, no Hubby in kitchen. Heard rustling from the bathroom where he was re-creating my scene from my incident last year with the knife: Blood Everywhere. Our bathroom is all-white: White walls, floor, ceiling, cabinets, vanity, potty, tub. The only color in the room is from my fluffy shaggy yellow rugs. And of course… the blood. Everywhere. I bandaged him up and made him lay down, he was alive this morning when we woke. But the bathroom looked like we were slaughtering hogs, like a horror movie. I remembered this when I came home this evening and found a few bloody spots that I missed from last night. Ew.
I may have to give the knives away, they’re just too sharp. I may put them up for sale on Craigslist. Keep your eyes open.
(OT end)
Well, on the bright side, you have two sales strategies right there!
1) Knives so sharp, you’re not safe when they’er in the house!
2) Knives with a taste for Bloooooooooooood*.
*This pitch will work bestest on Twihards. Much like pitchforks do…
I think it must be an acronym.
I.C.E.T.H.O.N.G.S.
(If you hover your mouse over the word, what it acronyms out to should appear in a tooltip)
Punching out a wee bit early because I have cleaned ALL THE ROOMMATE THINGS!
Punchity Punch Punch, Dave, Ferret, Mindee.
G’Night, Canal Street!