YSaC, Vol. 1270: When the moon hits your eye …
lost but not forgotton my pizza
Walkin home and stopped in wal greens to take a soda and some starburst and when I came back out my papa johns pizza was gone it was a large with sauasage and pepperoni and 2 butter garlic sauses for the crust I dip it in if anybody seen it the reward is a slice of pizza and the yeloow starburst out of my pack there are 3 of them they are my favorite but I would rather have my pizza and am willing to part with them to show how much I want it back would offer you some grape soda but I drank it all and don’t like drinking after people anyays unless u bring ur own cup or wash one of mine after. Use it for any imformation email me thank u and if u ate my pizza u r a jerk and the reason I have heartburn from eating beef jerky for dinner
So hypothetically, if I stole your pizza and return it to you, you’ll give me a slice of the pizza I just had all of, three yellow starburst**, and no grape soda. That doesn’t sound like that great of a deal to me, especially since I hypothetically have all of the pizza.*
Thanks, Jeanann!
* Hypothetical Pizza is the name of your ______ cover band.
** Everyone knows the grapefruit ones are the best!
Perhaps the world is too meta and this causes unrealistic expectations in the sparkii.
Even if only a tween (as this seems to scan), there is a disconnect in how fast CL works (or a failure to consider getting a response of:
“Yeah use peteza was baid i lef it behine hte star u kin git it kin i gets my starbursts oktxby”
a week or two later?
Or maybe the “find my pizza now” app has not been written for android yet, so I’l not seen it . . .
Hmmm, was this in “Barter” or “Missed Connections” . . . ?
lost and forgotton my common sense
Walkin home and stopped in wal greens to take a soda and some starburst and when I came back out I realized I had done a not very bright thing with my papa johns pizza
P.S. Hypothetical Pizza was one of the early names for Trent Lane’s band.
I guess it beats Skittles and an Arizona Iced Tea at the 7-11.
*too dangerous*
Aw, I miss Trent.
On top of my car hood,
All covered in bird poop;
I lost my poor pizza,
To Starburst-y need.
It slid off the car hood,
And onto the ground;
And then my poor pizza,
Was scarfed by a hound.
So, I sit eating jerky,
Sure my pizza was snatched;
Happy with my grape-y,
Wishing them thieves would be catched.
Hypothetical Pizza is the name of my Jimmy’s Chicken Shack cover band.
Damn! I guessed Little Feat and I was wrong again!!!!
Didn’t they make a movie about HP? As I recall, it starred Eric Roberts when he was still an only child.
“Hey, I found a pizza! I wonder if I should ceaselessly scour every local CraigsList board for the rest of the night to see if anyone has posted an ad looking for it; or just go home, pop in Psycho, and eat the pizza while watching one of the best movies ever made. Wow, that’s a tough call.”
I’ll bring the diet grape soda if we can pop in Rear Window also. And please don’t read anything into that.
Now we just need to find someone who can bring cake and Vertigo!
Cake and Vertigo is the name of my British punk/performance art cover band.
I may bring Dramamine also. Little yellow Dramamines.
I have a copy of “I am Curious (Yellow)” and some whipped cream; would you like that instead?
Question: What is “I Am Curious (Yellow)” like to watch?
I’ve often wondered just how bad it can be, for all the fuss and buzz it generated at the time, that not even IFC seems to have shown it . . .
*knocks on ghostie’s front door, carrying cake and Vertigo*
I am Starburst (Yellow). Curious?
Woo-hoo! It’s movie night at my place – admission price is three limes or a bag of ice.
I never get vertigo, but I do have nightmares if I eat pizza. Like getting eaten before mating.(shudder).
No, no, no! It’s Cake? Or Death?
I nervous sauasage grape expectations for a slim reward. Sparky is looking for pie in the sky and acting like the Nowhere Man from Yeloow Submarine.
Come fear Papa John’s viand by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about, and in need of a bromide.
I, Lord God (SSN redacted) ate your pizza and shared it with the Goddesses who are no longer Goddesses while we watched the entertainment that no longer exists but now it does. And doesn’t. It is like your pizza that no longer exists at the hollywood sign but may be in the capital buildings. Starbursts are forbidden especially the yellow ones that belong to Helen Nunt.
I like froot-loops…
You are what you eat.
Oh Sweet Clothespin Jeebus! Does that mean I am cheap, fast and easy?
That’d make me about eighty-five percent sweet tea and coffee. No wonder I’m so squishy.
Some people call me a fruitcake, yeah.
Some call me a crabby old fool.
Some people call me corny.
But I eat like fox wearing gloves.
I’m a tater,
I’m a mater.
I’m a cheddar cheese grater.
Eat my froot loops in the sun.
I’m a chicken,
I’m finger lickin’.
Hot sauce is “Ass Kickin’.”
Hope I never get the runs.
I like pie.
So Sparky went into Walgreens to take, not buy a soda and some starburst. What comes around, goes around. (or is it the other way around?)
My thoughts exactly. Sparky felt entitled to the soda and starburst because Walgreens can totally afford to support his munchies. But plague upon the fool who took his pizza!
So….slice of life.
I’m not up on my Starburst colors.
Do the yellow ones taste like banana or pee?
Yes.
Yes, they taste like bananas.
They taste like bananas or pee.
They don’t taste like lemons or cumquats.
They taste just like nanners to me.
Yes.
Woo!Hoo! had the same thought as our b’love’d Llamanun (BBUH).
I must be psycho–now, where did I leave that calzone . . .
“anyays”
ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ π! π! π!
ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ π! π! π!
My pizza was outside at walgreens.
My pizza was taken for free.
My pizza was outside at walgreens.
Oh, bring back my pizza to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my pizza to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my pizza to me.
I’ll give you my favorite starburst.
They’re yellow and they taste like pee.
I’ll give you my favorite starburst.
Just bring back my pizza to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh, bring back my pizza to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Just bring back my pizza to me.
I’d offer you some of my soda.
But there is no longer any.
I’d offer you some of my soda.
Just bring back my pizza to me.
(chorus)
I had to eat jerky for dinner.
Now I need Pepto-Bismol.
I had to eat jerky for dinner.
Oh my pizza, you’ve eaten it all.
Definately going in the YSaC Singalong Book of Songs for the eventual convention. 8)
Other items from Sparky’s lost and found:
A fifty dollar bill
A hot cup of coffee
A piece of gum on the subway
Youthful innocence
ALL of his marbles.
Most of his hair.
I seen your pizza heading north on State st. last Friday. It was going pretty fast, and I was on foot, so I lost it, but it looked pretty good. When can I collect my free slice?
Note to Sparkies: The pizza rack outside of Walgreens is now requiring that you provide your own lock. We will no longer be issuing pizza locks, and take no responsibility for lost or stolen dipping sauces. We regret the inconvenience, and hope you will continue taking from us.
-Management
Dear Sparky,
I did not take your pizza. I only took the pepperonis and one of the dipping sauces. You probably just missed the pizza pilferer by seconds.
Master: Hello, what’s this on that red table.
Igor: Which red table?
M: That one, next to Misjay.
I: It’s a pizza pie, sire.
M: What is this peets-a-pi of which you speak?
I: It’s a food, sire, belongs to the vegetable food group some say.
M: We must sample this foriegn food group.
I: It’s not ours, sire.
M: Then we’ll make a trade.
I: With whom, sire?
M: Well, we can’t wait around long for we must off to the castle as my GODDESSES await. Here, use this $5 camcorder I got from Craigslist the other day and record the transaction. We can leave it behind to show our good vibrations.
I: What shall we trade Master?
M: I’ve got a piece of dessicated, emasculated wombat left, that’ll make a good dinner for someone.
I: The kind that were marinated in ghost pepper sauce?
M: Yes.
I: A fair trade indeed, sire.
M: what is that the Lord God,[NAME]awful smell?
I: Garlic dipping sauce, sire.
M: Throw it out, that shit gives me heartburn.
I: (under his breath): You have a heart?
M: What was that, Igor?
I: I said we should depart.
M: Igor, do you have any starburst with you?
I: What flavor would you like?
M: Give me purple flavor, they’re my favorite.
Is Papa John related to Mama Windy?
Distantly, P. Very distantly.
“When the moon hits your eye…”
That happened to me once. I was just minding my own business, sitting on the edge of a bathtub, when all of a sudden, a naked lady sat right on me. Oww!
I’m so excited you used one of my submissions! You made my day. Possibly, my weekend.
I’m sorry to hear about your lackluster day and/or weekend, if this is the highlight of it.
In all seriousness, thanks for submitting! This site wouldn’t work without the submissions, readers, and commenters — thanks for being all three!
And the sausage and pepperoni pizza wouldn’t give him heartburn? I’m guessing it would. Maybe the pizza thief was hoping sparkster would pick up some health food while he was in Walgreen’s.
Capn Mac, Bianchi Sound, Go forth and deliver pizza and snark and coffee slices! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ninja Turtles! I know you stole that pizza. But I won’t tell.
Hypothetical Pizza is the name of my 18th century throwback Neapolitan minstrel group.