YSaC, Vol. 1311: For a small extra fee, he’ll use your toothbrush

2012 August 6

Can I stay/live with you? Ride&car, in trade for place to live & BFF!


Spiritual New_Thought BFF “life partner” & car & help/support
in trade for a place for me to live! [platonic, so it’s ok if u r also M60+]

No, you may not stay with me. Also, I believe it is a violation of federal law for someone over 60 to use the phrase “BFF” or abbreviate “you” and “are” with single letters.

Thanks for the post, MB!

41 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 August 6
    CapnMac permalink

    Hmm, so which one of the three pictured has been voted off the Winter Bagel?

    Adores: 6
  2. 2012 August 6
    CapnMac permalink

    Will give credit to Spark’, they have admitted that they are a co-dependent mooch seeking a like-minded mook.
    Would be a delightful irony if this were cross-posted to “Missed Connections.”

    Adores: 6
  3. 2012 August 6

    Baby, u can drive my car.
    This is going to be biz-r.
    Baby, u can drive my car
    If I can live with u.

    Adores: 9
  4. 2012 August 6
    Ralph permalink

    What proof spirits go with the ride?

    Adores: 3
  5. 2012 August 6
    LimeLolly permalink

    “In the morning, I’m making waffles.”

    Adores: 8
  6. 2012 August 6

    Looks like Santa has had a falling out with the missus.

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 August 6
      kelli permalink

      Only because she found out why that one reindeer is called Vixen. She served a lovely caribou sausage that night.

      Adores: 8
      • 2012 August 6
        funky "moo" monkey permalink

        Snort. “Sausage.” Heh heh.

        Adores: 2
      • 2012 August 6
        CapnMac permalink

        [caribou corey]
        The only reindeer still in antlers at xmas-time are the female ones.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 August 6

          :takes notes:

          “Cap’n says ‘Only girls are horny at Christmas time.'”

          Adores: 8
  7. 2012 August 6
    kelli permalink

    Kenny Rogers sure has fallen on hard times.

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 August 6
      mud "and a dog named Jake!" slicker permalink

      You stole my Kenny Rogers’ reference. I was good to go until your last post!

      Oatmeal for breakfast will confirm and reflect my disappointment.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 August 6

        I confess I was working on a Kenny Rogers one, too. Great minds think alike.

        Adores: 2
    • 2012 August 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      But fortunately, I know when to walk away.

      I also know when to RUN.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 August 6
        Brer Fox permalink

        I’m just not there with you on this one Kenny.
        ( I don’t even live in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood.)

        Adores: 3
  8. 2012 August 6

    “Let me see your license.”

    “It’s expired, but it you let me live with you and use your address, I can get it renewed. Can I borrow $55?”

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 August 6
      CapnMac permalink

      And a sack lunch for the wait at the DMV?
      Kosher, please.
      On gluten-free wheat bread.
      Low-carb, too, please.
      Certified peanut-free, dolphin-safe, turtle-free, free-range organic, too–I have a Doctor’s note . . .
      And a Diet Dr Pepper. Large.

      Adores: 6
  9. 2012 August 6

    Once again the dog’s attempt to escape the fresh hell of his daily existence with Mr. Snerfle and his harem was thwarted by his inability to grasp the concept of tying the correct picture to his Craigslist ad.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 August 6
      mud "and a dog named Jake!" slicker permalink

      The dog just needs to make a flashy “Help me!” sign that he can fly out the back window of the Winnebago.

      Adores: 2
  10. 2012 August 6
    Brer Fox permalink

    ” [platonic, so it’s ok if u r also M60+]”

    The M60 (formally named United States Machine Gun, Caliber 7.62 mm, M60) is a family of American general-purpose machine guns.
    (So it’s okay if I use a machine gun for general purposes?)

    The 105 mm Gun Full Tracked Combat Tank, M60, also known unofficially as the M60 Patton, is a first-generation main battle tank (MBT)
    (So it’s okay if my other car is a tank?)

    The Vengeance M60 is an enthusiast-grade laser gaming mouse with premium responsiveness
    (So it’s okay if I spend all day playing computer games?)

    The M60 is an orbital motorway, which forms a 36.1 mile-long complete circle around Manchester.
    (So it’s okay if I spend my time driving around in circles?)

    With the M60 bus, you can travel to all terminals at LaGuardia from the West Side, the East Side or Astoria (Queens).
    (So it’s okay if I’m already terminal?)

    The M60 is the internal code for the V8 engine manufactured by BMW
    (So it’s okay if I drive a BMW? Of course it is, but would it be okay if I’m 1.6 L Kent(Pinto engine)?)

    I can’t find any M60’s that fit this ad, but what I do understand is BFF.
    Brer Fox, Fantastic!
    Learn it.
    Know it.
    Live it.

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 August 6
      CapnMac permalink

      M60–pffft! Mk 43 Mod 0? Now, ur talkin’!

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 6
      Digitalaxis permalink

      There’s also the giant elliptical galaxy M60 (aka NGC 4649). How much stuff is this person bringing along?

      Adores: 3
  11. 2012 August 6
    funky "moo" monkey permalink

    I think Wilford Brimley pronounced diabeetus wrong one last time and his old lady kicked him out.

    Adores: 3
  12. 2012 August 6
    Rebecca permalink

    He once impersonated himself on a train.
    He has never BF’d his F.
    Children lure *him* into white panel vans.
    Mortgages pay him for a place to live.

    He is
    the most interesting man in the world.

    Adores: 14
    • 2012 August 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Should we add in that he headlined the greatest stoner band in history and then faked his own death?

      Adores: 8
      • 2012 August 6

        And that he now sails the high seas aggressively protesting Japanese whaling ships?

        Adores: 8
  13. 2012 August 6

    Sorry for being gone for a while. Had a business trip last week and have been generally busy before that. Hopefully I’ll be able to show up here a bit more often after this week. This week is still going to be pretty busy.

    So it goes.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 August 6

      But we just rented your corner out to a distinguished older gentleman!

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 August 6
        funky "moo" monkey permalink

        I don’t care if he IS back, I’m keeping his stapler.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 August 6
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          What stapler? *whistles innocently*

          Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 6
      Windrose permalink

      I’m sorry, sir, the Snark Lounge is for members only. May I see your card?

      Adores: 1
  14. 2012 August 6
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    “Where’s your other hand?”

    “Between two pillows.”

    Adores: 4
  15. 2012 August 6
    Litarider permalink

    Why do I suspect the polygamous life in an RV just became too much and now it’s time for Sparky to move on to the strictly platonic BFF life partner phase of life?

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 August 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      He does kind of look like a 30-years-on Silent Bob, searching for a new hetero lifemate.

      Adores: 3
  16. 2012 August 6
    Windrose permalink

    I just checked, and the original Not.A.Lion is still the top voted YSaC post of all time. OF ALL TIME!

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 6
      Brer Fox permalink

      Hmmm, My watch just stopped.

      Adores: 1
  17. 2012 August 7
    Gary permalink

    Is the old guy alive? Or are they just propping him up? Could this be a senior citizen version of Weekend at Bernies?

    Adores: 3
  18. 2012 August 7

    Penguin, you are much too young to be in the box due to a post like the Ovaltine one. What are we going to do with you, young lady? Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Japan!

    Adores: 0

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