YSaC, Vol. 1391: They Call Me Mellow Yertle
2012 November 26
Free yello and black turtle
hello people i have turtle that need a good home at the moment he is in a tank but the problem is i cant afford to keep him anymore plus i have my son and i am working so its hard to keep up withhim alot of times so honesty email me if you want him and yes i dont have pictures but he is black and yello and eyes are red
so if you want him pick him up his free
have a good hoilday
Let me get this straight – you’re having trouble keeping up with a TURTLE? Or are you giving away a black turtle and a Swiss electro-pop band? I’m so confused! Tell you what, I’ll definitely email you if I decide I want your son, how about that?
Thanks, Mackenzie!
No wonder Sparky can’t afford to keep the turtle; armored vehicles don’t come cheap, even in turtle sizes.
I would never think to question the Ostrimu’s (BBUH) opinion, but I would have trouble keeping up with a turtle in a tank, too.
…and so Donatello spent his days wondering when his friends would rescue him….
. . . Until he finally climbed into the tank. Now, to blast my way out of here, thought Donatello.
That’s where Donatello is at? I’ve been worried. What a bas-relief.
His free what?
I’d take it if it was a Mello Yello turtle.
I’m more perplexed by the fact that she wants to be emailed by honesty.
I was wondering if I’d have to change my name to honesty in order to adopt said turtle.
Maybe it’s a code and you email her the word “honesty”. If you email anything else, you are unworthy of Donatello the Tank-Wielding Turtle.
Free Yello and Black Turtle! Yello and Black Turtle was framed! They planted him in that tank – he is not the one that shot out all the windows in the Wal-Mart on Black Friday – there were some iguana prints in that tank that were never identified…
I thought you were supposed to put a tiger in your tank.
I think when we add them all up, this post may actually set the record for the highest number of semantic ambiguities of anything we’ve posted on here.
“Semantic Ambiguities” is IF’s something-something cover band.
I suck at band names…which coincidentally is another of IF’s something-something cover bands.
Gotta be “The Who” cover band.
Semantic Ambiguities is my Modern English cover band.
…and I Suck at Band Names is the name of my The Band cover band.
Black and yello turtle was a-lookin’ for a home
Round and round the city in his Abrams did he roam
Can’t afford to keep him plus she had her son and work
can’t keep up with him when he’s all tankin’ and berserk
Rumbling, clanking terrapin is terrorizing all
doing target practice on the shoppers at the mall.
Black and yello hazard with his eyes of blazing red
yes we don’t have pictures of the rolling, hard-shelled dread
Won’t you email, honesty, and take him from this place?
Save Sparkette and sonny from the menace and disgrace
If you want him, email. You can pick him up, his free.
Comes complete with his own tank. Have a good hoilday!
Silly Sparky. That’s not a turtle, that’s a bee!
That’s Eric the half-a-bee, and he needs a good home because I cannot get a license for him.
Hello people
I have turtle
Need a good home
Not a yurt-le
He is very
Entertaining
He is in a tank and I am done explaining.
(abrupt segue into chorus from completely different song)
Yes, we have no damn pictures
We have no damn pictures today…..
Q: You have trouble keeping up with a turtle?
A: No, no, with my son. He’s black and yellow.
Q: Your son is African and Asian?
A: NO! The turtle! Honesty, can’t you follow a simple conversation?
Q: Yes, but sometimes I need pictures. Do you have pictures?
A: Yes, I don’t have pictures but he is black and yello and eyes are red.
Q: *pause* Your son or the turtle?
A: *pause* Yes.
*hurls a bee-filled truckload of doors at Windy*
I forsee another self-punching for Mama Windy.
I just want to know why she put the home into the tank in the first place.
…well, that and the salmonellosis….
(How expensive can a turtle be? Or is it the son Sparky can’t afford to keep?)
Is it Hoyle Day again? Who’s up for a spirited game of whist?
Tankerbell, being of sound mind and body, you are hereby removed from the box with a stern warning to keep up the snark. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Chelonii!