YSaC, Vol. 1720: Bare is driving!
2014 June 23
Condoms
I have some Trojan Bareskin latex condoms that I got as a bridal shower gift but my husband does not like them. I have 18 of them. Must pick up before 2pm.
Sadly, this person did NOT misspell “bareskin” as “bearskin,” or this snark would have pretty much written itself. As it is, I shall have to manually point out that while condoms DO have expiration dates, they generally do NOT, to my knowledge, have expiration TIMES. That could give a whole new meaning to the rhythm method.
Thanks for the post, Jason!
“Bear left!”
“Right, Frog.”
“There castle!”
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use all 18 of these condoms in time. As always, should any member of your IMF force be caught or killed, the other inhabitants of the corner will disavow all knowledge of your actions. These condoms will self-destruct at 2:00 p.m. EDT. Good luck, Jim.
I will purchase all of your chewing gum, blunt skull, please return my communication at your earliest time coordinate.
Beldar Conehead
Warning: at 2:00 Prince Charming turns back into a bumpkin. After that, you’ll have to try them on every guy at the ball until you find one that fits.
If you try them on the ball you are doing it wrong…
I’ve never heard of condoms that have to pick up by 2 p.m. Is that UT or EDT? Is Viagra allowed? And how does a late ex wear one?
Do 18 condoms make a condominium? Who needs that many besides a Trojan Whore?
So many questions….
Raises hand.
Ooh, ooh, me…
What?
Wadda ya mean they ain’t loaded?
What good is an empty condom anywho?
I do haz the right ta arm bares, ya know.
Nev’mind then.
I don’t think I can condom that comment.
Using latex to turn a working model into a sports model is not as reliable as other methods, but it does cost a lot less and makes the subject less wincey thinking about it.
It isn’t always what you read in an ad, sometimes it is what you don’t read.
Wow! What’s acceptable as bridal shower gifts has sure changed since the last one I attended.