You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. XLVIII

Written by

drmk

in

Antique Grapette Soda Bottles Two Never Opened – $5

Antique Grapette Soda Bottles Two Never Opened Grapette Sodas
Small Grapette Logo at Top on the Front and Back
Front Reads: Contains 6 Fl. Oz., Large Grapette Logo, Reg. Us. Pat. Off, Grape Soda
Back Reads: Imitation Grape Flavor, Ingrediants, Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Dextrose Grape Juice, Tartaric Acid, Esters, Certified Color, Less than 1/10 of 1% Benzoate of Soda. Licensed by The Grapette Company Camden, Arkansas Copr. 1946 TG. Co. Bottled By Grapette Bottling Co. Socorro, N.M.

Asking $5 each.

Wow, the bottle looks a lot different than I’d imagined.

Submitted by Kris — thanks!

Comments

3 responses to “YSaC, Vol. XLVIII”

  1. JB Avatar
    JB

    Never opened huh? Well from that picture the drawer looks pretty open to me. Such an outright lie. I’ve been looking for an unopened dresser filled with Grapette, I really thought this might be it.

  2. ButterflyGirl Avatar
    ButterflyGirl

    …I can’t believe you didn’t snark about selling antique soda! I believe “antique” means over 100 years old. Who would want 100+ year old soda even if it IS unopened??????

  3. Brer Fox Avatar
    Brer Fox

    ” Two Never Opened”
    That is because they were not fed properly. Now they are dead. To ressurect them you must bury them in peat moss for six weeks, dig them up and place them in a bucket of sweet pickle slices for four days. Place the pickle bucket outdoors in the sun during daylight hours but make sure you bring it inside at night, because, you know, ninjas like pickles, especially the sweet ones. (Many an evening, I’ve been attacked by pickle throwing ninjas.) For the next two months (mark your calendar), place bottles in your refrigerator or remove them each time you go to your refrigerato for a snack. If they are in your refrigerator, take them out. if they are not in your refrigerator, put them in. At the end of the two months, call EMS. Do not talk to them, just set the phone on the counter. Once EMS is on the line, open one of the bottles and gulp it down as quickly as possible. If you don’t fall down, then it worked. If you do fall down, EMS should be on their way.

Leave a Reply

More posts