YSaC, Vol. 634: And you may find yourself in a beautiful house …
$155 Nice Pool Home w/furnished Rm.4rent/Internet/BBQ/Patio/Laundry/TV call (Ft Laud (xxx)xxx-xxxx today!)
NICE PRIVATE BEDROOM W/INTERNET/BED/TV/CABLE-NEAR EVERYTHING-LOCATED IN WILTON MANORS OFF ANDREWS EAST OF I95~ A PRIVATE POOL-INTERNET-CABLE-FURNISHED BEDROOM-PATIO/BBQ/FULL USE OF THE HOUSE-A LADY HER DOG AND ONE OTHER TENANT LIVE HERE -NICE HOME BEING REMODELED W/NEW ROOF///NEW TILE///PAINT///LIKE A NEW PLACE-PREFER A WORKING PERSON/LONG TERM~ ————— CALL (xxx)xxx-xxxx —LEAVE MESSAGE OR TRY (xxx)xxx-xxxx ——— NO PETS PLEASE !
So, not really that awful, although the use of all caps and backslashes and dashes as punctuation is irritating. (Random thought: “Backslashes and Dashes” would be a great name for an album!)
Then you see the picture, and if you’re like me, you think for a moment how lovely it would be to lounge by the pool on a warm day in Florida, while Ewan McGregor and Nathan Fillion feed you cold grapes and fan you … oh, whoops, sorry about that. Erm, where was I?
Actually, if you’re like me, you think for a moment … and you realize that Ft. Lauderdale, Florida is not known for its distant and picturesque mountain ranges. Then you go ask Uncle Internet for information about average elevation in Florida. As it turns out, Uncle Internet lists the average elevation for Ft. Lauderdale as ranging from 8 feet to 3 meters above sea level. Uncle Internet also informs me that the highest elevation in Florida is Britton Hill, at 345 feet, which happens to be on the border of Florida and Alabama.
But then my mind drifts back to the grapes, which is much more pleasant thought than some asshat in Florida playing shenanigans with fake pictures to lure people to look at his room for rent.
Edited to add: Okay, I’ve been properly admonished that there is a lack of backslashes and a plethora of normal old forward slashes. Mea culpa.