YSaC, Vol. 650: YOU write the songs…
Oraginize huge meet and greet(s)
Here’s the Job
You need to be motivate.
What I am looking to do is organize
A meet and greet for singles
you will need to find the batchelors there will be a huge meet and greet parties there will be other events
i’m looking for input and ideas
You will be paid per person attending the events your monitary compensation could be huge.
you will organize the events
and more ideas are welcome
the one women availible to these events is a millionare she”s very attractive and a party girl of sorts
she is widowed after 23 years of mariage
her situation is tough she is a kind hearted gal easy going but, too generous
the batcholors will NOT know she has monitary worth
many details are to be disscussed
this could be a great and fun job adventure for you
Here is the contest
You need to be YSaC reader.
What I am looking to do is sing
Today’s bad Craigslist post
you will need to find a song that will have the music that will match with the words
i’m looking for ideas
You will not be paid, but if your idea is good, we may put it in the huge “don’t suck” box.
You will post your song
and more ideas will be welcome
this post LOOKS like song lyrics because it is very short lines
and they don’t make any sense
much like song lyrics
What the hell is a batcholor, anyway?
details will be disscussed in the comments
I hope this is a great and fun job adventure for you!
(Thanks for the link, Shawna)
Great And Fun Are We
Every Day we Entertain
We are Batcholors and Batcholorettes
Or not.
Great and Fun are WEEEEEEEEEE!
Is anyone else hearing this in their head with the voice of the “All Your Base” robots? Just me? Well, carry on then.
You’re not alone
I’m also hearing the robot voice…
Geez, I’m feeling better now…
I think I need some rest
I must leave
I have stuff to oraginize.
What a blast.
And now that you’ve said “robot voice”, all I hear is GLADOS…
The millionare-ess is a lie…
All your job, your job, job, job,
All your job, your job, is to organize…
You have no chance to motivate,
make your event.
Dang it, Taco! Now I’ve got “All Your Base Rhapsody” stuck in my head again.
I had just got it out of my head after my brothers played it incessantly last month, too…
Link? Directions to this fine classical music item? Please?
How does one oraginize? Is there an oraginizer that one could perhaps purchase in order to facilitate easier oraginizing? Why do I suddenly feel like conjugating this imaginary verb? *goes back to bed*
Maybe the oraginizer is supposed to bring the Orangina to the mixer?
I thought that it was either that, or perhaps they dispensed fake spray-tan en masse.
They have set us up the tan.
I just see something involving origami — I am not sure why.
I read it ais orang-ize
but that may brachiate
away from today’s
me,me,meme baby, meme
I’d suggest that the pygmaeus thing about this poster might be the cogitatin’ noggin, not the Pongo.
Oh, good, my other fear
Was that this was to be
Checkov in arrear
Badly scored, operatic
meter(n-greeter) gored
And poor Onegin-utang
Laid waste
Libretto ignored.
I keep hearing bongo drums at the end of the lines.
*snaps fingers*
I can dig it.
Would explain the
hipsters
with their Galoise
and
Six-dollar T’s
uniformly
non-conforming
too hip
to be
square
Ha, all I hear right now is this song wedged into “Since You Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson. Not a perfect fit, but it’s making me giggle wildly at my desk.
Maybe I need LESS coffee, not more.
Good one. I kept hearing it as sort of a “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” Motown-esque soul thing.
All I get is a great desire
is for Chuck Barris’ gong
to make this expire
Oh man!! Until you mentioned Kelly Clarkson I’d been successful at preventing “My Life Would Suck Without You” outta my head.
Aaack!!
Batcholors use
spachulas for their pancakes
and
collect chicken stachues
that
collect motivate* dust
for kind hearted gals
while
putting their ideas
in
their HUGE “don’t suck”
boxes.
*who needs verbs when adjectives will do
Best I can do is to imagine it preached like “Once in a Lifetime.”
You may find this job…
You need to be motivate.
What I am looking to do…
Is oraginize a meet and greet.
Where are the batcholors?
Find me the batcholors.
Oraginize the meet and greet…
For the monitary widow.
Other ideas are welcome!
(Compensation could be huge)
Other ideas are welcome!
(There will be other events)
Other ideas are welcome!
(Many ideas are to be discussed)
Other ideas are welcome!
(There will be other events)
Well, at least I have a happy earworm to ride my brain today.
“And you may ask yourself
What am I doing here?”
That seems a possible reaction if one answers the ad and the OP’s communication skills in person are no better than in print.
I heard it to “Let it Be”.
What I want to do is organize a
Meet and greet for single guys
You’ll need to find the batchelors
Here’s the Job.
There’ll be a huge meet and greet party
And there’ll be other events too
Looking for input and ideas
Here’s the Job.
Here’s the Job, Here’s the Job
Here’s the Job, Yeah Here’s the Job
You need to be motivate
Here’s the Job.
Talking Heads is a much better fit.
Either that or “You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings” or John Ashcroft singing “Let The Eagles Soar”*
*just kidding; don’t throw your old computer parts at me. I’m going with David Byrne sings “Let it Be”.
You may find yourself…
In times of trouble.
You may ask yourself,
“Who is calling to me?”
My first thought was of something word salady – It’s the End of the World as We Know It – but Once in a Lifetime is better.
actually my mind went the same place as Isaac’s.
It’s a scary little neighborhood, isn’t it?
Very
Off topic, guys, but mainly to boggle CapnMac and the other Texans:
It totally snowed here in Vermontland yesterday. It’s still snowing this morning. Looks like we got three or four inches. Life proceeds as usual. (“Same as it ever was.”)
Yet another excellent reason to be living in the greatest state on the planet – yes, that’s Texas for those of you who don’t already know.
Sunny, 57 right now and heading to 79 later today.
Back to you, Bob.
I’ve also been told that Texans live in a state of self delusion.
Oh SNAP!
*Hides from Texas*
I lived in Texas for twenty-three years, so you can’t trick me. Talk to me again about your great weather in two months.
Ah yes…the heat, the mind-boggling, OMG-is-this-hell?, heat…
Alas, I’m one of those that loves it…totally.
I HATE being cold…hate it…and to me, cold is below 70…
63º CAVU 55%RH @ 30.03r and SE 8
Wait a month, and you Mont Vert
types can marvel at our
“Eighty by Eight”
morning weather
I got all cringy when I saw the snow on tv. I keep calling it cold here, and it’s 63 degrees.
It was 52ºF this morning here. That’s T-shirt weather for me. If it climbs up to 60ºF I’ll have to put on shorts.
I could take days of 75 and humid and call it “nice”. Dallas was also perfect for me, with it’s long hot days and no humidity. When the temp dips below 70, I’m putting on a sweater.
It if gets above 75º I start to melt. Once it hits 80º I pretty much just cower by the AC vent until it’s over.
Yeah, I HATE being cold. It’s really something I can say I despise, more than bugs or sunburn or any of those enviromental factors people complain about. I love snow, I love going out in the snow, but I HATE the feeling of being cold. To me, it’s suffering. I actually will start to wretch and even throw up if I get too cold. My chest just contracts at the feeling of cold wind, and I can’t breathe.
It’s impossible to convey how much I hate to be truly cold. Even thinking about it makes me feel angry.
My friends say I was born for Thailand, not here.
Heat is fine, I can take heat, but I hate the humidity. I was fine on 105-degree days in Nevada, but get back here where it’s 85 degrees and 95% humidity and I just wilt.
My friends tell me I was built for Alaska =).
I produce enough heat for 3 people. During the winter one of my friends (
who’swhose always cold) insists on sitting next to me in order to “suck up the warms”.I can see the epitaph now;
………………..Here lies…………………….
…. Taco “SexyFingers” Magic….
……………..Space Heater…………………
If you knock over his tombstone, does that pose a fire hazard? Or does it have an automatic shutoff? [unlike Taco himself]
Try the Carolinas. I’ve been wearing shorts, tees, and sandals for about 3 weeks. Our only weather problem is hurricanes (but they do win the Stanley Cup occasionally).
Don’t forget the clouds of pollen.
Yes, well, it’s mostly passed by now.
Plus, the Triangle Region of NC is known for its world-class musical groups. (Well, marching bands.)
Personally, I’d rather be cold than hot. You can always put on more layers of clothes when it’s cold. You can only strip down so far in the heat.
In the heat, I pass out (literally). In 90 degree weather, I do not move.
There’s a possibility of Eskimos in my family tree, which might explain it. The other known parts of my family tree are French(Canadian), Irish, Scottish, and Swedish. I was born and raised and still reside in Massachusetts. Which also explains being built more for the cold.
I moved to Austin from N. California in June, 25 years ago. I thought I was going to die. I would walk out the front door and, by the time I made it to the car, I was already sweating.
These days, we do whatever major outdoor projects we can by mid-May and then go into summer mode which means trying to avoid going anywhere that doesn’t have AC between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m.
Whenever I talk to someone that is planning on coming to Central Texas in the summer, I try to warn them (especially the ones from up north) but they don’t fully understand until they get here.
The phrase “a party girl of sorts” is sticking in my mind. The phrase “party girl” is one my father used to describe one of his cousins, who was nice enough but had a hard time staying married and didn’t finish college. He didn’t mean it disparagingly, but it wasn’t a compliment. The other context in which I am familiar with party girl is as … an escort or actual prostitute, e.g., “a party girl operation” as a term for a prostitution ring.
Later edit: how did this end up up here? It was supposed to be at the end. Hm.
And now my earworm is Elvis Costello’s “Party Girl”:
“They say you’re nothing but a party girl
Just like a million more all over the world.”
Ooh. New earworm.
Do you know “This Offer Is Unrepeatable,” from that weird Juliet Letters album? Maybe that’s the sort of song this is.
Heidi Montag-ue? Or Leonardo Di Capulet?
Leonardo Di Capulet?
So, he’d be an over-emoting pretentios bother in Italian, too
Party Girl only makes me think of Parker Posey. I love that movie.
@Issac: You can’t scare us with your snow. We saw snow fall from the sky three times this winter in central Texas…three! We’re seasoned veterans now, we are.
Good! Come to Wisconsin in 8 months and we’ll have your final exam ready for you.
Yeah, first-ever Christmas Eve snowfall ever recorded in Dallas, no less.
Or, last year, when it snowed twice in the same day, a first-ever record for my central Texas town.
We got 9″ of snow on Christmas Eve. It was magical…and then on 12/26, when I’m ready for the end of winter, the cold really settled in…I don’t ever recall so cold a winter as this year’s in Dallas. Brrrrr….
Ah, nono! I lived in Richardson from May ’75 – May ’76 and it snowed on Xmas Eve for us. It was late when it started but almost every kid on the street had been woken by their parents to come play in the snow. I thought it was awful that the parentals didn’t want us to wake up the Jewish family because it was SNOW IN TEXAS, so what if they didn’t celebrate Christmas; just didn’t seem fair to not let their kids play too. So, you see, the memory stuck in my head. 12/24/1975
I remember that year, if not the snow, being just the few scant miles to the south, over near Midway and Forest.
Isaac: Just let us know if the sound of the postman’s footsteps grow less and less distinct each day.
Anyone else curious about the “monitary compensation”? Does that mean you are paid in monitors? What kind? Computer? Music (got any Marshalls?)? Radiation? Study hall?
If she’s feeling lonely and has extra computer monitors laying around, I know a guy who’d be happy to work for her in exchange for the monitors.
But… is there going to be a fence at the party?
I think those meet and greets are called “orgies”.
That’s a greet and meat…
Or grope and meat.
I hope some of those guys swing both ways or that will be one sore party girl.
I just love A. Lion’s avatar pic. It’s a good thing our pet creatures don’t hold grudges. We might have to sleep with one eye open.
🙂
That’s Henry the Hound during what I call the Great Neuter Rebellion.
Poor Henry. The Cone of Shame.
Googled “monitary” and was offered the correct spelling.
There’s a cartoon out there that seems to be deliberately spellt.
Discovered that there is a response to “monitary” on the cougarboard (which is likely a sports mascot-named forum).
[corey] google bits [/corey]
I don’t want to even think of what else a cougarboard could be……
A cougarboard is used when you capture one of those mine hors and strap her to a board with her face covered and pour a pitcher of…..
… or maybe it’s one of those boards that is used when you capture one of those mine hors and strap her to a board with her face covered and throw darts at….
… or maybe you just wax her real good and hope a shark attacks mid wave-curl. Cow-a-bung-a!
I just figured out the subtext here. Let’s look at two important lines:
She is widowed after 23 years of mariage
Ok, not too bad.
the one women availible to these events is a millionare
Hmmm. I think that tells the story right there.
To the Batcholors:
It’s a Trap!
Clearly this happenin’ youngish party girl is the widow of the former Finance Minister of Nigeria. She just needs someone to fill her lonely hours until the next party, and help her transfer her late husband’s estate to the US.
“It’s a trap!”
Exactly.
Cue Junior Brown “Highway Patrol”
This is a scam to round up either pimps, johns, or both.
You get paid by the number of desparate/dumb/dellided men you bring to a meet-n-greet for just the one millionairess?
Unless the reverse gold-digger has some sort of twisted-debutant court entourage to help engage in Regency mockery of the plebes at the ball.
Ah, Bo’s’n; “Adm. Akbar, to the bridge” please.
Translation of the ad to
realityEnglish –I am an older
transvestitelady who wants to meet a bunch of guys, but I want someone else to get them together for me. I will pay you a huge* amount of money to find men for me.*huge meaning an entire dollar per man
Yeah, I keep wondering how old this woman is. 23 years of marriage isn’t a REALLY long time, but how old was she when she got married? Is she 43? 63? 83? I don’t know whether this thing is going to look like the Marilyn Monroe Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend act, or if it’ll look more like Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard with a bunch of handsome men around.
This is cougar baiting.
That’s like bear baiting, but with straight, older women, right?
Well, perhaps a puma, who had been to Red lobster one too many times . . .
It is not a puma!
“Puma-man, he flies like a moron…”
[/mst3k]
ADORE!
I spot the opportunity for Cat Math!
{widowed after 23 years of mariage \ average age of bride (+18%)} + millionare X {4 licorice nailpolish – 12 lemon zest} = Norwegian apple dumpling
Oh, you must have come up with a younger age than me. I got “prune tart” as my answer.
I’m getting “what ho!” as my answer. I think my catulator has been wearing my eye patch while I’m out of the house.
What ho? THAT HO!
Meredith, “prune tart” is kind of mean. This rich old tart has probably had a facelift, though I admit “plastic tart” doesn’t have the same ring.
Botox tart – for its alliterative goodness.
Ever seen an apple doll?
Yes, which is why I’m not clicking the link. Nuh-uh.
*Click*
*Eyes tear up and lips quiver*
I really want that to be iMatryoshka
And, it’s not.
Never any Alar when most needful
Botox Tart opening for The Plastic Cheeses (genuflect when you say that)!
I didn’t even click yet. My grandma looked like an apple doll. Sweet sweet nasty grandma with her chain smoking and at home perms and oblivious racism and threats that she “wouldn’t last much longer”. Oh how…I don’t miss you at all, Grandma.
I knew I shouldn’t, really I did, but I clicked anyway *shudder*
And they used to give those things to children. To play with.
From Cheeses of Nazareth!
Ummm, drmk, why did I get a message that said “Cheatin’, huh?” When I tried to vote on something?
It’s because cheaters never prosper.
Why you gotta be such a cheater? Cheater.
Steve, apparently your mouse or your clicking stuttered when you voted, and the software that is WordPress picked it up as trying to vote twice. Happens to some of us all the time. Totally innocent. *whistles nonchalantly*
With fresh kibbles, and adding the yarn attachment, I get…..
…hmm…carry the 42, subtract the splodies…
Yep, it’s 101 Dalmations…
I think I need a new yarn attachment for mine, I keep getting….
++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.
I like cheese.
No, no, no. Clearly, it’s the battery. They say rechargeable, but, you know, cats. I once bought a (toy) car from cats, and got a lemon. As well as a tangerine.
Dev, I think you picked up the Hex virus. You need Anthill Inside!
I’ve tried recharging mine but I can’t rub it with the balloon long enough to build up a good charge.
I wondered if anyone would get that Windrose.
You’re right though, maybe I do need a bigger anthill, and obviously more cheese too.
I thought that was what you were talking about. Who is this Redo? Where is Start? 😉
Wait, you left out the aqua velva, brut, and hi karate of the potential suitor pool as well.
That means you have filbrix the inverse of salmon in the equation. which sadly, as I manipulate the pounce-rule, keeps coming up mince danish
That’s the trouble with CatMath, there’s always something left out of the equation!
Johnny Cash’s Hurt. Thats the song I pick.
Hey, watch it, that might get you “Cut Down” and possibly sooner rather than later.
(The original MiB is popular with the MIB–and they take it seriously)
I swear, that’s the most depressing song I’ve ever heard.
Have you ever heard his recording of “The Mercy Seat”? That one goes beyond depressing to harrowing.
OK, forget the bongos.
I reread this slowly and with passion and I got
“The Greatest Love of All” (and I think Whitney Houston would sound great singing it):
Here’s the Job: you need to be motivate.
What I am looking to do is organize
A meet and greet for singles—you will need
To find the batchelors…there will be
A huge meet and greet party…there will be
Other events; I’m looking for input and ideas.
Party girl a-looking for a hero,
Millionaire and very attractive!
Never found anyone to fulfill her needs,
A lonely place to be,
Her situation is so tough.
Chorus:
You will organize events, get out the word and pack the tents;
Please don’t fail, if you succeed,
Monitary loot will be your meed.
The gal is kind, she’s a widow too;
23 years married but still ready to pitch woo.
She wants the greatest love of all
And you can help her there,
To find the greatest love of all,
It’s great and fun, I swear.
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve.
Organizing batcholors
Is the greatest love of all.
For.The(A).Win.
Except I have this sad sad mental image of the meet-n-greet
in the used-to-be-a-Holiday Inn ballroom
on one side
with some lounge singer
covering that tune so badly
the two drunks at the bar
are pleading for “Feelings” again
(having gone to the bar and made his request;
sadly she was not a skoal bandit queen)
The respondent is to be a motivate?
Issac, is that some step betwixt inintiate and fraterinate?
Or is that a dom rite brothers are not allowed to abbot?
Or ought we expect Rob Langdon to give us the ‘real’ explanation for two consequtive days of the use of “a women”?
And now, I must, I must away
Cross’t the hinterlands by
For apprehension of those astray
Must needs be nigh
Upon the malchiks the weight
of justice earned cannot await
And thus, to the roads do I
Capn, Which are you, Russo or phile?
In Soviet Russia, Mac captains you!
I meant to mention yesterday but arrived too late, the Aplan race had two heads, so technically the female of the species could be called a women…….
See, now I’m hearing it in my head kind of like “Still Alive” at the end of Portal. Although as unhinged as GLaDOS became she still used proper verb conjugation and tense.
That’s what I said! It’s GLADOS’s party….don’t go!!!
I’d bring the cake, but it’s a lie
Did someone say cake??? Ah drat.
wah wah waaa.
(sorry Peter, Paul and Mary)
Where have all the batchelors gone?
Need to motivate
Where have all the batchelors gone?
Need to oraganize
Where have all the batchelors gone?
Monitary pay for each’n every one
When will they ever learn?
Craigslist is not the place to yearn.
Where have all the millionares gone?
Arrange a meet and greet.
Where have all the millionares gone?
With her money, be discreet
Where have all the millionares gone?
No more husband for this fun one.
When will the ever learn?
Cougar’s Life is where to turn.
I think the batchelors will a be leavin’ on a jet plane… Oraginize Airlines.
Ok, heard that with Lloyd and the girls singing it.
James Brown’s Sex Machine:
Ah get on up ah
Here’s the job ah
Get on up ah
Be motivate ah…
Who sang “Eternal Flame”??? I’m hearing that now. And only that. GAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s going to be a long two hours left of work.
Thanks. Yes, now I’m hearing that, and only that, too.
And by association, now “Making Love Out of Nothing At All” is ringing through my mind.
For a nice image, check out the CD cover at this site:
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/makinglove
And only the really awful part, too.
“And eternnaaaaallll Ffflaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame”
Arrrrgh.
Mmmmmm, Susanna Hoffs…
[corey] it was actually The Bangles, rather than Susanna on her own [/corey]
Mmmmmm, Susanna on her own or with The Bangles…
Was “cured”, driving back home by hearing Cross Cnaadian Ragweed pound out “Bang Your Head” pnly to come here and ‘hear’ another earworm
don’t you just love how everyone like to share them so much?
Well, I am ickily & uncomfortably reminded now of why the caduecus looks like that
I hear this in Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This” melody.
“What if I told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me, would you meet and greet?
Its almost that feeling that we’ve met before so tell me that you dont think Im crazy when I tell your batchelor is here and now.
A Moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for monitary compensation like this.
Some people search forever for that one widowed millionaire.
I cant believe she’s an attractive party girl.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Everything changes, but you will organize.
Something so great and fun you don’t realize.
Well I may be dreaming but til I awake..Can we make the event last forever?
And I’ll cherish all the love of the widow for a moment like this.”
Adore Adore Adore!
I have no music 🙁
Just a flashing neon sign blinking madly “SCAM, SCAM, SCAM”
I tried to unplug it and find the sarcasm.. sadly, the plug won’t move.
Anybody got a $1 tool I can borrow?
Well yes, but it’s attached to the 1/4HP blender right now
$6 shirt guy is getting on my last nerve. I want to give him a metal cup, a box of pencils, and a stick of Degree deodorant.
I’d rather hold him down and shave off that ridiculous beard.. and pour coffee into him… looks like he hasn’t slept in a week.
The best cosmetics in the world are available, and they make him look like that?
I don’t have that guy anymore. Now I have the Tagless blonde who appears to be suffering from constipation.
No shit.
I’ve got Japanese skullface lady on a tshirt.
Stupid, pretentious, unhygienic hipsters. I did not have enough caffeine to deal with his ungroomed mug when it first popped up this morning. I can’t figure out how that’s supposed to be attractive to people so that they will buy t-shirts, unless it’s a “buy a t-shirt and this jerk will go away!”-type ideal. I don’t mind men with clean beards, but his looks like it harbours sentient life. *grimace*
Why the hell does it look like he is winking at me?!?
Dear sweet Clothespin Jeebus, please let that be a facial tic.
Dear sweet clothespin Jeebus is an understatement, sarajean. A grossly severe understatement.
Oh necessity mother of invention, I’ve got one of him playing pool.
The worst part? You know the blank, open-mouthed expression Paul McCartney has in just about every photo of him taken as a Beatle? Well, Rupert the Hobo’s got that expression on his face. And it’s Not.A.Pretty.Thing.
Are you trying to imply that Rupert is
stoneda musical genius?I know I already had my bite at the apple, but it’s slow here at work and I feel creative:
MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL
I know how to motivate you
And I know how to organize
I know how to meet and greet you
And I know how to tell you lies.
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme.
And I know just when to discuss details
And I know when I’ve found a meme.
(Music wells up)
And I know that you’ve got riches
And I know you’ve got no shame.
And I know you’re a widow
And I know that it’s tough;
I can play at this batcholor game!
Though I don’t know how to party,
If you’re generous, then give me a call.
And you’ll see just how I do it,
Making love (crescendo), out of nothing at all.
(repeat into infinity)
No, no, no – you’re all WRONG.
I hear a rap song.
[think – Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg]
http://www.yikers.com/video_snl_narnia_rap.html
oraignize huge.
meet and greet.
now here’s the job –
you need to be
MOTIVATE
you need to be
MOTIVATE.
you just need to be
MOTIVATE
M*#$TH#$Rs
what I AM lookin’ to DO is ORGANIZE!!
what I AM lookin’ to DO is organize
what I AM lookin’ to DO is organize
a meet and greet
for singles only
you need to
MOTIVATE
for singles only
you need to
MOTIVATE
you will need to find the batch-e-lors
need to find the batch-e-lors
need to find the batch-e-lors.
M##*&%^$RS
and.therewillbe a huge
meet. and. greet.
parties*parties*parties
and.therewillbe other. events.
parties*parties*parties
and.therewillbe other. events.
parties*parties*parties
[everyone in unison now:]
and cupcakes cupcakes cupcakes!!M%^TH%@RS!!
lookin’ for input
lookin’ for ideas
you WILL be paid
[close up of dollars]
lookin’ for ideas
you WILL be paid
lookin’ for ideas
per person
per person
per person
per person
M&#^$TH^&RS
your monitary compensation could be huge
your monitary compensation could be huge
huge
HUGE…
you will organize
you will organize
our monitary compensation could be huge
could be huge
could be huge
what I AM looking to DO is ORGANIZE!!
what I AM looking to DO is organize.
lookin’ for input
lookin’ for ideas
lookin’ for input
lookin’ for ideas M^%$TH^%^R!!
and there is one women
availible
to these events
is a millionare she’s very
attractive is a party girl of sorts
situation is tough
she’s a kind hearted gal
is a party girl
of sorts
situation is tough
she’s a kind hearted gal
she’s a kind hearted gal
she’s a kind hearted gal
M^%$TH$#@RS!!!
this could be a great
and fun job
adventure for you…
adventure for you
adventure for you
M@*#&$^%$#@RS!!
I love my bunny suit.
I love my bunny suit.
I love my bunny suit.
When I wear it, I feel cute.
HHNF sings:
I love my squirrel suit.
I love my squirrel suit.
I love my squirrel suit.
When I wear it, I feel sexy.
To the tune of El Cucaracha:
I see your Taco,
raise it a nacho,
da-da-da-da-da-da-daaaa
Enchilada, in a squirrel suit,
oooh why did you have to fold?
(picture a family of
MexicansHispanics playing poker and singing.)The preceding song was brought to you by the S.N.A.P.U.
Ere you hear scratchin’ at the door
Take up warbling in severe tremulo
For, instead of fair Elsinore.
It is Gallo del Cielo
Spurred to teach youth Never More!
Cap’n, I’ve been wondering as to whether your posts of the above type are extemporaneous, premeditated, or outsourced?
Clarification: Strike Outsourced from the record, and replace it with “Inspired by an external source”
Answer (previous one stolen by wordpress) remains “Yes”.
Was asked to help smite the deserving.
This required a drive of a bit more than an hour.
Listening on the radio, they plated Gary P Nunn’s “Macho man from Taco Land”.
Got to the location and was taking things from the go-bag. Out fell My pocketbook copy of Poe’s Poems (not bad reading while in hurry-up-and-wait).
Breeches complete (and not walled up with dead or injured, but there’s a couple inkjets that’ll ne’er be the same ever again), headed back to town.
Radio plays, GPN’s “Gallo del Cielo”. (Even better, they played XCR’s “Bang Your Head” which seemed and excellent way to deal with the infestations of earworms ’round the place today.)
Specifically, the rhyme came to me as two sentence fragments. The meter suggested itself as I wrote them out, so it was somewhat spontaneous. Ran the rest off, off the cuff; jiggling two lines to parse batter afterwards.
Only scary part would be that, in my head, it’s a mix of Vincent Price reading the lines, and the chicken from Alton Brown’s Good Eats episode Fry Hard II (the chicken says “nevermore” as part of the schtick). Yes, like many here, the insides of my head far too often are like Warehouse 13 . . .
Fascinating.
**Whispered, to the audience**
I heard someone mentioned a Capn-to-English dictionary?
sorry, I’ve lost mine, but I believe sarajean has a copy
Also – could this also be the cast crew for film in:
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4349
(which I found, ThankYouVeryMuch:)
Wonder about if one women availible MADE AN EVIL MAN VERY ANGRY AND HE IS LOOKING FOR HER…
hmm…
The plot thickens…
I think we need a better archive. I was looking for the banana the other day, and the weird double picture ad that had some mannequin looking thing hanging out. But, I got tired after about twenty minutes of scrolling back through pages. Of course, I know little about website design, so I have no idea how big a project that would be.
do you mean this banana?
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2909
Banananananananananananananerna! YAY! **jumps for joy**
**scrolls down to see carrot**
ewwww…..
(Flashdance)
Heeeere is the job
I am ooooooffering you
Throw a bash,
Make some cash,
It’s a breeeeze
There’s this bitch
She is rich
And she wants
To get hitched
Or at least some hot stud
To scratch her iiii-ii-iitch
Throw a party!
You can do it!
Organize
Get some guys
And hook her up
(Blinded By The Light)
(your job’s to)
Organize the night!
I know a millionaire and she’s looking to get tight
Organize the night!
She’s looking for a man who’ll really treat her right
(if you)
Organize the night!
You’ll make a lot of cash if a lot of people show
Organize the night!
…
Shit, I spent too much time trying to work out the scansion for the next lines and now all I can think of is how much the original really REALLY sounds like “wrapped up like a douche.”
(“Revved up like a deuce,” I know – still SOUNDS like douche.)
CR@P!! I just got Sarah Palin and the TeaBaggers.
Lola, I’ll trade you for degenerate hipster freak zombie asshat.
Somehow, I’ve got an ad for Circuit City… which went out of business last year.
I’ve got an ad for “lip print reading.”
lip print reading? I had to look it up. Now I have another useless bit of info crammed into my brain.
I wonder if my lips suddenly changed with the new knowledge.
Ooh… one for a shirt that has the “push button receive bacon” thing on it… although I don’t think the lady in the ad would appreciate it if I pushed the button…
oh dear penguin, I thought you’d have learnt that lesson by now. Never, ever, google anything anyone says in here, that way lies madness.
I feel so boring. My ad is for a pintuck taffeta curtain panel.
Sorry, Grampdaddy, but if there’s one ad so far that is less preferable than Mister Hipster Hobo, it’s that one.
That’s OK Lola, I wouldn’t impose on your generous nature like that. Besides, that’s why the Russians (and others) make Vodka — and I can see it from my couch*
*Not Russia, all you silly people – Vodka.
*whistles happily on way to freezer*
I can see Irish from my kitchen. Because that’s where the litre of Jameson lives (specifically, the freezer).
I can see Kentucky from my couch, ’cause there’s a Wild Turkey in my freezer.
This has all of the makings of a European Lifetime Movie.
I see it as a Law & Order episode, with a waiter finding a body while cleaning up after the meet&greet.
Just in case I don’t make it back again tonight, what with being hip-deep in earworms, sarajean80, oh queen of the quips, here comes your Punchity Punch Punch!
Ouchity Ouch Ouch
I am so very glad I went back and added that bit about the ethernet card.
*goes to look for steaks for eyes
Know what I love about you guys? I mean aside from everything? You always stay sorta on-topic, and the last post is just as relevant as the first, and this bunch never starts sniping at one another-except in fun, and you welcome all snarky newcomers.
/end.gushiness
This is the song that seems this would best adapt to and you’re welcome for the earworm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA