YSaC, Vol. 664: Welcome to the jungle; the math gets worse here every day.

2010 May 12

We’ve had plenty of cat math on the blog … now it’s time for elephant math!

Rare Quality Green Elephant Figures – $10


Must See! These are two New Elephant Ceramics.
Each figure Comes with two Elaphants. Auction Starts
at $10 Each or $30 for Both. Bid Ends This Friday!

Two Ipods


White– 60.00
30gb
minor scratches
Pink– 75.00
8gb
great condition
160.00 for both, only one charge cord though
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Wait, I can figure this out. I should buy both iPods, and only one elephant statue, because that way each elephant can listen to their own iPod. Elephants love iPods. It’s a fact.

Thanks, Desiree and Derek!

191 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 May 12
    Camille permalink

    I’m sorry, I don’t think my catulator has been programmed for elephant math. Though once you program them, they never forget.

    Adores: 18
    • 2010 May 12
      christina permalink

      Camille, if you are using the Tabby Instruments series 600 and up all you need to do is swap the kibbles for peanuts and press function twice.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      I’m truly dismayed by the lack of mathematical reasoning being shown by everyone here, today. There is a perfectly obvious reason why the two ip-od have a combined price of $160.00. This is so simple it doesn’t even require the use of a catulator.

      You simply add the numbers in the ad: 60 + 30 + 75 + 8 = 173. Therefore, by buying both i-p-o-ds you save 13. If you add in the phone number, you can save even more – probly ’nuff to buy sammiches or limes for Lolly. I’d splain more but

      Oooooo SHINY

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 May 12
        Limelolly permalink

        We saved the logic for you.

        Er….. at least that’s my story.

        Adores: 0
  2. 2010 May 12
    mudslicker permalink

    6 legs total. Must see!

    2 ears total. Must see!

    [corey] Do female elephants have tusks? Unlike Asian elephants, in which only males have tusks, both male and female African elephants are tusked. However, due to the hunting pressure on tusked animals brought about by poaching for ivory, tusklessness is an increasingly common condition in African elephants. [/corey]

    Why has my quest to see the noun bookends somewhere in this ad fallen upon rocky ground? Beside that, I definitely like my elaphants [sic] to be a nice lavender.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12

      After serious study of the picture, it seems to me that to be truly bookends, they would need to be mirror images of each other. That way the baby elephant could be seen at either end of the books.*

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12

        *Please excuse the above comment. This is what happens when a Virgo has an unsupervised corey moment.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          mudslicker permalink

          You’re right AE…. Having seen my share of elephants that are actual bookends, I just automatically went there when I saw there were two of them. But perhaps this is a mismatched set and all they have to offer is two of what I would identify as the “east end” elephant bookmark.

          Makes as much sense as the rest of this ad.

          Adores: 1
  3. 2010 May 12

    Elephant, Elaphant
    Burning bright!
    In the jungles of
    CatMath done right!

    $10 for one
    or $30 for two
    With elephants you get
    green globs of goo

    Adores: 24
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      …and that’s why
      Horton hears a Who…

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 12
      Limelolly permalink

      Brilliant, CJ!
      I’ve only had the ‘Inchworm’ earworm.

      Two and two are four
      Four and four are eight
      Ten and ten are thirty
      Sixty and seventy five are hundred and sixty.

      Inchworm, inchworm…

      Gah..it won’t shut up!

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 12

        Here Lolly, have a lime for your margarita…

        I can’t take all the credit, it just came to me when I saw elelelaphantt twice, and the word “jungle” in the title.

        My skewed brain took over from there.

        Thank you, though…no seriously…thankyouverrrymuch

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 12
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, I’m still thinking drmk ought to get extra credit (esp. during finals) for combining a Guns-n-Roses reference with an iPod listing.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 13
          CapnMac permalink

          Oh, and for 6 degrees, Which song was in Dead Pool?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13
          Lola permalink

          Today’s titular song. Mmm hmm.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13

          *waves hand frantically at Capn* Oooh! Pick me! Pick me! I know this one!

          *puts hand down as Capn points to her*

          Umm…er…wait a minute…*looks at the post title again*

          Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm……*stalls for time while Capn stares a hole through her*…..yeah, it was….

          Welcome to the Jungle?? Sorry, not a GnR fan…but I do soooooo enjoy a good Jim Carrey movie. 😉

          Adores: 1
  4. 2010 May 12
    TacoMagic permalink

    $10 as an opening bid for those statues is rather optimistic. I would have started the bidding at 1 opened box of vintage cereal and hoped it would make it up to two sealed by partially abused boxes.

    Then again, my 10lb sledge is just begging me to put a bid down on those. The iPods too.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12

      Eh, TM? I read that the first couple times as “but partly used” until a light dawned. Then, it flickered. Are the boxes partially abused? or contents of the boxes partially abused?

      Thanks for any illumination.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        Should have been “But Partially abused” instead of “by”

        As I mentioned below, only decaf in the shop this morning so my already patchy spell checking is going to pretty much be worthless today.

        Say lah vee. [Yes folks, sic indeed]

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12

          *hands TM an espresso shot*

          Made extra this morning. Had to get up waaaaaay too early to take care of granddoggies.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          Windrose permalink

          Lah vee.

          Adores: 8
  5. 2010 May 12
    Windrose permalink

    Ela Phants works hard in the Rare Quality Ceramics studio every day. All she wants is an iPod. White or pink, doesn’t matter. Won’t someone think of the poor calves Ela is working to support? Give Now by calling 1-800-Windrose.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      …. or click on the Free Misjay graphic radio button.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      Limelolly permalink

      Ah..I tried to call, Windrose. Unfortunately, the battery on cellphone died before I could push send. Will you take ZooPal payments?

      Adores: 4
  6. 2010 May 12

    I bet it’s pretty difficult to manage an auction on Craigslist. You’d have to juggle a series of emails or phone calls, then notify the previous top bidder when a new bid came in, and ask if he or she wanted to bid again…

    …If only there were some, like, website that facilitated auctions: a sort of electronic auction bay, if you will.

    Some enterprising fellow really ought to get on that.

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 May 12

      Paging Pierre Omidyar . . .

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      Windrose permalink

      The only fly in that ointment, Isaac, is that if the sellers on this mythical website would have to be honest and follow through, or they would get a bad reputation and no one would buy from them. Could be the exact issue that Sparky is hoping to avoid. 8)

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Now I know how all those song writers and poets feel when I rephrase their stuff…

      I find myself somewhat hungry, and a bit sleepy.

      Guess they don’t mind too much then.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      CapnMac permalink

      Ok, that does answer my very first question from Ela’s listing.

      I was starting to wonder how long I had slept last night, that CL had austions.

      Wonder if Ele will be confused when there are no bidders on her ceramics?

      Only thing worse would be if she has followed, imprecisely, the teenaged advice she was given, and is thinking CL has a “Buy It Now” price, and that is the $30 quoted.

      Now, my other [jaded corey] thought is that Ela has the remaindered stock of a you-paint-it ceramic place, and has a few hundrem more of these poorly-paired pachyderm

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        You talk all purdy. Tell me about the rabits, Capn’.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, first you fall down down this hole . . .
          Then it turns into a Doors song, as it is very strange . . .

          Rabits is nicer to raise than voles, and not near as mean as mink (esp ermine)–but, they just don’t BBQ that well.

          And I really, really need to use IEspell more often

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          You sir, are a gentleman and a siant for letting me know that IEspeel existed. Now that I half it installd I’l nevar make anuther mistake agian!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Bwahahahaha!
          I’ve had IESpell from IE 4.x or so, and the fool thing still fails to remind me my fingers can be “ham fisted” while typing.

          That, as IESpell is still not half as good as the native spell check in FireFox.
          Would that my FF and YSaC were compatible once again; O the snark, the legible, intelligible snark.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Dear Capn – please clarify the rabbit down the hole and Door’s song. I was thinking “White Rabbit”, Jefferson Airplane. Did I miss something, or is that song on the CL list of top 20 songs.

          Just askin’

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, after falling through the lookin’ glass, “Strange” started playing in my head, which synced up with drink this and be small.

          Which really tumbles into the deep end since you have invoked Ms Slick.

          Nothing for it, then–will have to go with western swing on the WMP. Or, the earworms will look like Real!!!!Wood Red Table fringe
          Fringe would evoke dancers in beads and spangles
          Which makes me want spanakopita
          Which will want some retsina and ouzo (OPA!)
          And I have neither of those.

          But, I can make quesadillas and margaritas (searches music list for Flaco Jimenez . . .)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Ah! It is all become clear to me now – I just needed to be away from the 4th graders a bit longer.

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 May 12

    Each figure Comes with two Elaphants.

    I’m not going to touch that capitalized verb, except to note that adding emphasis sure makes it sound more active.

    But do you, like me, feel compelled to pronounce the misspelled animal like e-LAUGH-ants?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      More like el-LAP-ANTS! [the “H” is silent silly]

      … giving ant lap dances now in the Jungle Room.

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 12
      CapnMac permalink

      “Each figure”?

      Is that some mumeric expression, whether interger or real?
      Or is is a geometric expression–solid real or hypothetical?
      Or is that some human somatotype?

      If I send over an anorexic in a dodecahedron costume inscribed 12^12 on its faces, does that poor unfortunate get saddled with two rarely green pachyderm for $10?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        MandaB permalink

        I’d like to suggest Anorexic Dodecahedron for band name of the day. I think they tour with Rarely Green, the Simply Red cover band.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Far superior to “Two elaphants Come with each figure”.

      *grabs stiff bristle brush and boiling bleach to clean brain*

      Adores: 1
  8. 2010 May 12
    Katherine permalink

    I’m going to assume that the “60.00” and “75.00” after the iPods are prices… and if that’s the case, can we talk about why it’s more expensive to buy both of them than if you bought each separately?? 60+75 does not equal 160!!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      *crickets*

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 May 12
      sarajean80 permalink

      Please see the name of the blog you are commenting on for an explanation.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 12
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      Corey has a sister?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        Yup, her name is Matt.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12

          Yup, KathMatt….hmmm… I smells a conspiracy I do!

          It’s a TRAP!!

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 12
        MrWhite permalink

        Maybe Corey finally got that operation he’d been looking into, and now he she has a minty new shell.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 12
          Camille permalink

          Aw, c’mon, don’t flame the newbies – it makes the carpet smell funny.

          Katherine, when drmk uses the “bad math” tag, it’s usually because the original poster doesn’t grasp the concept that you should charge MORE for the individual items and LESS if they’re bought as a set. There are many such posts in the archives and the reason we don’t comment directly on the bad math is because it’s sort of the obvious point of the post.

          I’ll come back later to pick up my Corey credit.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 12
          Bridgete permalink

          Thanks Camille. Katherine’s “rookie mistake” is exactly why I didn’t start commenting on here until…well…now. I’ve been lurking since last summer, but I didn’t get enough of the YSAC inside jokes to feel ready to join in the conversation. I still don’t get the [corey] thing…I must have missed that.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          Limelolly permalink

          Mistake is not quite the right word.

          Most people have a hard time digging out their snark. It’s in there and it’s buried deep, having to be slathered over with kindness and civility. Stupid real world. It takes practice.. lots of practice to let it flow. Practice, caffeine, sugar and alcohol all help too. And smile and nod alot.

          *not a psychologist, and I’m not paid to act like one on tv.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12

          …well, some of us have found ourselves using the highly-honed snark skills gained at YSaC on the unsuspecting IRL…

          Not sayin’ I’m one of those people….not sayin’ I’m not…..

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          As a card-carying, professional smart ass I must point out that SOME of us grew our snark in the real world and are presenting it here as a gift to the YSaC denizens.

          I wonder why I don’t have any friends, I’m so easy to get along with. Yeah, being an ass is so incredibly popular right now.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 12
          Limelolly permalink

          You are correct, Oh Wise Acre(acher?? whomever you portray.). I bask in the inimitable sparkage that rains down from your glorious height. I beg you to intercede on my behalf with the Glorious Llamanun and Ostrimu, whose visage I dare not cast my gaze upon. *

          *Am I learning? 😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          Work on it… that almost passed for sincere.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, dear Bridgete, do not fear errors around here, they merely morph into the internal mythos after awhile.

          Which is why our TM’s fingers often estella around apostrophes.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Next time flutter your eyelashes a bit, try to work up some real tears. (That almost always sometimes works.)

          When all else fails, flash your goodies. Most men (and some women) are big fans of the goodies. (Personally, I make a mean oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.(Wait, what did you think I was talking about?))

          (I should probably mention that my family nickname is “Smartass”.)

          (Nothing to add, I just wanted to use some more parentheses.)

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 13
          Bridgete permalink

          Oh, I never said I wasn’t an expert in the snark. I grew up on Buffy and Friends, and with all my rewatching lately, I think that’s where I LEARNED all my snark. I just was saying that I got lost in all the inside jokes…which is what happens when I’m suddenly participating in any established group. I’m not exactly shy, I just like to observe for a while before I start participating in the conversation. Which I’m doing now…and I’m sure my snark will be quite welcome when I spot the perfect opportunity to let it fly. 😉

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12

      Forget the cat math. What I want to know is why is the pink one pricier??? It’s so limiting from a fashion standpoint.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        That’s easy AE, the pink one is more expensive because it has less onboard storage space. Duh.

        (On a related note, my wife’s MP3 player is bright, hot pink. It is bright, hot pink because it was $15 cheaper than the same model in any other color.)

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s why my husband has a pink one!

          🙂

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12

          Ahhh, I see. This fact, then, must explain why Paris Hilton is so expensive.

          (I commend your wife for her thriftiness. I’m not sure I would have been able to do the same. It would have been a knock-down, drag-out battle between my aversion to pink of any hue versus my aversion to spending more money. Mrs. TM is a gem 🙂 )

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 12
        Meej permalink

        Particularly given that it’s substantially less memory, too.
        Mystifying.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          mudslicker permalink

          How did you know my husband had that problem? You’re psychic Meej!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I’ve got substantially less memory.

          *Get off my lawn, you darn kids, or I’ll through my…. my…. Why did I come out here?*

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 12
        MrWhite permalink

        The 30 gig is cheaper because of the “minor scratches”, I guess.. but I’d get them both, cause one bad Apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl.

        What a bonus it would be if they were “mine hore scratches”.

        Adores: 15
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          I have this gnawing feeling that the “minor scratches” are the result of a teething rottwiler, and that the pink one is more expensive for not having a chewed-off data conection and has all the glam-pop music deleted from it.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12
      Windrose permalink

      Miss Katherine, you have obviously opened the wrong door, and expect this to be a rational discussion of perfectly ordinary CL ads. I suggest you have a seat, take in the flow of the comments, and loosen your grip on reality. I have a lovely cup of tea for you and a complimentary catulator which should help you in this endeavor.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 12
        Lola permalink

        Act now, and you’ll get the catulator with additional elephant memory!

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 12
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Do be aware, Ms. Katherine, that the ‘tea’ distributed by the lovely Ms. Windrose and Ms. Lola often come in a flask and should not be imbibed prior to driving or operating heavy equipment.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          Windrose permalink

          *hic* ‘Ello, ossifer. Would you *hic* hold my tea cupa while I put the backhoe in reverssss? *hic*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          O the mornings when I wished the person driving the backhoe had not had all that cough syrup after the dayquil after the prescription claritin . . .

          One thing to pull a Dale and have the backhoe slide into the hole (you just need a hank hill or two to fix that); it’s quite another to get stuck driving around an otherwise uninvolved tree

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      A more interesting question, why is it more expensive to buy and ipod with significantly less space on it? It probably has something to do with elephant math. I’m just beginning to get cat math (Calculus was so much easier).

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        EclecticBlue permalink

        I actually pondered this one before I jumped into the comment section…. My theory is that the pink one is a nano, and maybe a newer generation than the white one. The white one would be a classic ip-od (see the House episode with John Larroquette if you don’t get it :-p), early generation, and therefore cheaper. Carry on with the snark…. :-p

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          Bridgete permalink

          I adored this simply because of the ip-od reference. I call mine an ip-od all the time because of that episode. Hmm, maybe I should start calling my phone an ip-hone. 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          You could call it an ip-ho-ne, if you were feeling very silly.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 13
          Bridgete permalink

          Oooh, I like ip-ho-ne. It sounds very Native American.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      CapnMac permalink

      Dear Katherine,
      For the same reason that Ela would sell you one ceramic for $10, or TWO for $30.

      Even worse, if you called up the bright bulbs who posted these items, they would [u]insist[/u] that the combined price is better. In fact, they’d get mad at you for suggesting they get out a calculator to see. (In their world, all combination sales are better, no matter how bad the math.)

      This would also be the reason for the hyperlink tag (look at the top right just below the title; those tags create collections of these submission by type, for your perusal). Now, I might have included “unclear on the concept” for the second listing, that a pink ipod with a third the storage space is more expensive than a scratched ipod.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Welcome Katherine and Bridgete! Please do NOT let the denizens of this site scare you away. They truly are kind-hearted souls (or soles, depending on whether something is fishy or not).

      However, be prepared to be abused, teased, encouraged, picked-on, and loved by your fellow posters, often in the same posting. Do not run and hide, do not show fear – it only encourages them….

      To explain Corey – very briefly – Coreys come about when one offers a reasoned, well researched, carefully explained comment on the posting. Said Corey is completely irrelevant because it misses the point that the CL ad is a disaster for any number of reasons, such as coherency, spelling, punctuation, or just because the CL poster is a total dipsh^t.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 13
        Bridgete permalink

        Hahaha, why do people always think I’m scared when I’m in my observing phase? I just wrote in response to something above that I just do that with new groups…even in person…and every time, someone inevitably asks me if they’re scaring me.

        Thanks for the explanation of the coreys. I have a feeling I may be posting a lot of coreys from now on…damn law school forcing me to use reasoning and logic all the time. Speaking of law school…don’t worry that I’ve been scared off if I disappear in June and July. I just have to study for this stupid test…maybe you’ve heard of it, it’s called the Bar Exam… =/

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13
          Windrose permalink

          And just in case you want to go to the source, here is the day that Corey first came to comment. Also, the last day he did so. 8/ I just don’t know why.

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3819

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13
          Bridgete permalink

          Oh! I saw that post. I just missed the line of commenting that brought on the origination of corey.

          Well, anyway, it takes more than a bit of teasing to scare me away! *evil laugh*

          Adores: 2
  9. 2010 May 12
    TacoMagic permalink

    Ok, I admit it. There is only decaf in the shop this morning so I can’t really come up with good snark. So instead I stole wrote this:

    Espresso Sunrise

    It’s another espresso sunrise,
    Blearing slowly ‘cross the sky, said goodbye
    It was just a cup of coffee
    Tryin’ to wake up Taco’s brain
    Today’s the same

    Ev’ry morn when the sun comes up
    He pours himself another cup
    And munches the coffee grounds

    He wanted just another coffee
    To keep the sleep from comin’ on
    Can’t stay awake
    And now the caffeine’s workin’
    And now the snark is flowing free
    He’s filled with glee

    Take another swig of coffee
    Type when you feel the inspiration hit
    Yay liquid wit
    It’s another espresso sunrise,
    Very well this doesn’t bode,
    Tacosplode

    Adores: 16
  10. 2010 May 12
    Lola permalink

    If elephants were that fugly naturally, I don’t think they’d be endangered.
    “I know it’s got those cool tusks, but I can’t stand to look at it! Not long enough to hunt, anyway!”
    Or, just maybe, the elephants are getting canny. They find a swamp in the jungle, and stay under the water during the day, with just the end of their trunks above water so they can breathe. These are the elephants at night, out of the water, algae-crusted, and wondering how it is that their ears are tan when the rest of them isn’t. “The things we have to do to stay alive!”

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I want to know why the bottom of the legs are white. Did they run out of yucky green paint?

      I guess, to be fair and [Corey], ceramic paint can be difficult to work with. One sculpture I made in art class I painted what I thought would be pale pink, pale lavender, and mint green. It came out pale pink, a purple so dark it was nearly black, and olive green.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        Jen permalink

        But to be fair-er, you didn’t then try to sell them on CL. Or DID YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

        Nah, you can spell. And add. Without a catulator.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 13
      Eddie permalink

      Big, green things underwater?

      That is not endangered which does eternal lie,
      And with strange aeons even algae may….

      *Gets distracted by something shiny*

      Adores: 0
  11. 2010 May 12
    Meej permalink

    What in the world is Mama Elaphant (sic) holding?

    Actually, I suppose the question is “what is she meant to be holding, if this had been painted by someone who could find the grey glaze at the DIY-pottery place?” Because given the current paint job, she’s clearly holding an enormous brussels sprout. Or maybe a head of cabbage.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Back when elaphant’s still roamed the world, brussels sprouts were much bigger than they are today. Sorta like how the dragonfly used to be 6′ in length a brussels sprout used to be a towering tree over 500′ tall. The mama elaphant obviously has a newly hatched one, it being so small and all.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        Raise you hand if when you read the last sentence, despite any attempt not to corey, you thought, “Taco, plants don’t hatch!”

        *Raises Hand* Even having been the one to type it I can’t stop myself.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12
          Windrose permalink

          No, I was too distracted by the misplaced apostrophe. 8) To me, everything hatches. I don’t see a problem.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12

          The apostrophe distracted me, too. It’s more correct thusly: Say’ lah vee.*

          *took French in high school

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          The appostrophie’s jump me at every turn they do. I can”t ‘seem to ‘stop them.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          Limelolly permalink

          I always suspend reality whenever I read anything on this site.

          This is my playground. 8)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          sarajean80 permalink

          Race you to the monkey bars!

          Ahhh! They’re made of monkeys!

          Monkeys everywhere!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12
          Lola permalink

          I thought monkey bars were a different kind of playground – simian-only watering holes and pickup places where they could congregate and relax, without intrusion by humans or other species.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          Limelolly permalink

          “Playing in the sandbox. That’s more your speed anyhow.” -Planet Heroes

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          The problem I have with monkey bars has to do with a lack of distilled spirits for sale. Try as I might, I really don’t enjoy fermented fruits. (Or it was being warned at an early age against lotus-eaters).

          But, I never understood how a grid of galvanized pipe anchored in concrete was jungle-like either. Probably not helped by a contemporary tyke who was confused by the concept. He wanted to know, if it was a jungle gymnasium, why it was not indoors. Then, how would a rainforest grow without a lot more water? And, if the steel-pipe contraption was not “gEYEm” shouldn’t we be better introduced to James before using familiar diminutives. (Tough sharing Texas public schools with those from English Public schools at times.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          I hate monkey bars. They never serve anything other than banana daquiris. Sure, the drunk monkeys are always entertaining and make silly faces…but then some asshat has to start throwing poo and it goes downhill from there. *

          *Hmmm…sounds frighteningly like a few nights out in college.**

          **I was not the poo thrower.

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 12

        * SO *

        This elephant walks into a monkey bar
        and says
        ouch.

        *whaah? crickets?*

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12
          Lola permalink

          Heh. +1

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          Tonight the role of Spacebug will be played by Fozzie Bear.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12

          *Wocka Wocka*

          Wait.
          Miffy isn’t available?

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      I think that’s what she endearingly calls Papa elephant’s “junk”. I guess we can tell who wears the tusks in THAT family!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        So, you’re saying she’s got some junk in her trunk?

        Feel free to get the joke sledge hammer.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 12
          mudslicker permalink

          I almost was going to “go there” with that included in my post, but thought I would leave it open for another eager beaver to pounce on it. I should have know it would have been you TM.

          😉

          +11elebenty+1

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12

          TM = Eager Beaver

          *snort*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          Fillin’ in for HHNF I see.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          On another note, if I changed my name to “BeaverMysticism” do you think the llamanun would hurl me off her blog?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12

          You’d probably be ok. You may, however, want to avoid any name change that includes “beaver” and “sexy fingers.” There would be hurling involved with that one.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12

          Darn it, I knew I shouldn’t have come here until after the pain meds for my ribs kicked in. Do y’all have any idea how painful laughter can be?

          (Yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition, but it’s better than ending it with a proposition.)

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 May 12
          TacoMagic permalink

          Or some appostrophe’s’

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          Bridgete permalink

          Kelli – do you have a rib out of place or is something broken? I’ve had ribs out of place before and that’s bad enough…I hope the pain meds kick in soon!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          Jen permalink

          @ Kelli – ouch! Hope you’re feeling ok now! My old flatmate cracked a rib coughing (almost had pneumonia), so they put her on hella strong cough syrup, which made her a wee bit high and, unfortunately, giggly. Was kind of hilarious, though…
          And I agree with Churchill – when he was told he couldn’t end sentences with prepositions, he responded “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put!” I heart him…

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 12

          Bridgete-

          I have three out of place and “sprained.” I had no idea it was possible to sprain a rib, but the doctor insisted it is.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          [biomed corey] ribs are articulated at two points: vertebra and sternum. Othewise, they’d not move, and you’d be limited to the motion of the diaphram for breathing.

          Sprains are injuries (“insult” is the term-of-art in the medical trade) of joint cartilage.

          When it is the cartilage of the sternum, there’s usually and impact involved, airbag deployment in a car can do it.

          But, far more common is an injury from lifting twisting to the 11th & 12th ribs (the so called “false ribs”) as they are supported by costal cartilage which will sprain.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13
          Bridgete permalink

          Hmm…so my out of place ribs must have involved a sprain as well, since most of the pain was in the sternum. No car accident though…just a bout of bronchitis. The excessive coughing knocked them out of place.

          Well, anyway, Kelli, I definitely feel your pain. Did you get muscle relaxers to help them back where they belong, or just the painkillers?

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12
      A. Lion permalink

      The rare quality green Zimbabwean bowling elephant lines up for her attempt at the elusive 7-10 split…

      Adores: 13
  12. 2010 May 12
    Colleen in MA permalink

    Baby Elaphant has a really long … um … snout.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      It’s not the size of the snout, it’s what you pick up with it.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 12

        Excellent use of preposition, Grampdaddy.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Should it be bonus points for using a preposition in a presumptive proposition?

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        Grampdaddy permalink

        It’s not the size of the snout, it’s what up with it you pick??

        *Clear, citron-flavored ‘tea’, from the freezer – NOW!*

        Adores: 2
  13. 2010 May 12
    MandaB permalink

    I have only this to say: I have family members who read and comment on this blog regularly. They know who they are. Be nice, or you’re looking at your Christmas present. I know you have a lovely monkey clock that would go beautifully with these elaphants(sic).

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 12
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      I have some cows I could throw in.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        Limelolly permalink

        Do they moo?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          Elaphants don’t moo. Silly lolly!

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        MandaB permalink

        Thank you very much. I actually have a hideous looking monkey/baboon stachue in almost the same color scheme/glaze as the elaphants that could round out the gift quite nicely. *

        If only I could find a chicken stachue too…

        *This is actually true.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          A. Lion permalink

          Bless you.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          See…told you so…beautiful, no?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13
          Limelolly permalink

          Dear gawd….my eyes!!!

          Actually, I think my bedroom curtains match that. hmmm…

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12
      kaitlyn permalink

      everbody keeps saying the elaphants are sic
      thats sad
      may be they can go see a pachydermatologist

      Adores: 19
      • 2010 May 12
        Limelolly permalink

        ‘I don’t care who you are… That’s funny, right there.’ –Larry, TCG

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      I have to assume you mean you are related to the “Magical Finger of Taco” – not sure if I feel worse for you or him….

      I used to love watching that show, “The Magical Finger of Taco”, with all the Mouseketeers, and especially Annette….

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        MandaB permalink

        Circling back to Gump from last week: “No sir. We are not related.” At least I don’t believe so. OH TM???? We are not related are we? Heck, I’m barely relative.

        You used to watch TV with Annette Funicello??? Wow. And I thought she was just on TV. I didn’t know she’d come to your house and watch it with you.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12
      He who must not be snarked upon... permalink

      OK Daughter – do not be threatening me with ceramic elaphants – I know where you live. I also know about the tin fish with glass jewels, and I have the pump and tubing to turn that monkey/baboon into a truly “memorable” fountain.

      Bwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaahhaaaaaaaa!

      Adores: 4
  14. 2010 May 12
    Limelolly permalink

    I’m out of cash. Wonder if I can bid in peanuts or marshmallows?

    Adores: 0
  15. 2010 May 12

    These are truly rare el’phants.
    Mama has a trunk on both ends.

    *kinda like a Yugo*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12
      whit nestor .tanks permalink

      Maybe it’s Papa?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        sarajean80 permalink

        If that’s Papa, I feel very sorry for Mama.

        Adores: 0
  16. 2010 May 12
    WendyBear permalink

    Maybe mama is going bowling.

    I need these sic elaphants. And the ip-ods.

    I’m new, so have not learned cat math too gud, but I must say that two elaphants per figure would equal four elaphants, and then you carry the scratched ip-od…

    42 is the answer I got.

    How do I get a pichur? I like y’alls pichur’s.

    😉

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 12
      Innana permalink

      Go to gravatar.com. You can upload a picture you have on your own files or one from the internet.
      (Thanks to CapnMac for the original information).
      The site steps you through the process.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        WendyBear permalink

        Thank you! Now I’m all dressed!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, not that there’s a requirement for dressing; only that unattractive flashing not be pressed to windows or the like, as we learned yesterday

          Personally, I prefer cornbread dressing.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Of course you carry the scratched ip-od, they can’t carry themselves.

      Unless, unless – why, of course – you have the elaphant carry it for you!

      Adores: 3
  17. 2010 May 12
    mudslicker permalink

    OMG. I leave for a few hours and return to find that today’s post took the exit ramp to Crazy. Have they already been by with everyone’s meds?

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 12
      MandaB permalink

      We get meds????

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        sarajean80 permalink

        The blue ones make you giggle, but the little green ones make the walls grow fur. I’m not sure what the orange one does… Wait, that’s an M&M.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          Lola permalink

          Speaking of Grace Slick …
          “One pill makes you larger,
          One pill makes you small,
          and the ones that Mother giiiiiiives you don’t do
          anything at all …”

          Yeah, there’s the evening’s earworm, I think ….

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Sorry, I blame myself. A day on decaf coffee and my terminal, yet fun, insanity begins to bleed out and affect those around me.

      And it travels through the internet too… because of the pipes. There’s ice cream in the pipes too! Oooh ice cream! *Eats cat5 cable* tastes like pipey goodness!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      Lola permalink

      Thorazine cart will be around shortly …

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        TacoMagic permalink

        Lola gave me a new jacket! Yay!

        White isn’t usually my color, and this jacket is rather snug, but it was free! Yay!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          And it makes you feel like you’re getting a big, long hug, doesn’t it? So nice.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 12
          Windrose permalink

          *dumps out tea in favor of medicinals*

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        mudslicker permalink

        Let me get my slippers so my feet shuffle appropriately.

        Taco: what’s with the buckles on the sleeves? Leather and bling! Sexy!

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 12
        Limelolly permalink

        I’m in line…can I get haldol with a shot of Xanax?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Note to self, be sure to check that it’s salt on the rim of Lolly’s ‘Rita glass before sipping–was it this rare a green in here a minute ago?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          Limelolly permalink

          ///stares at the pretty colors\\\

          Tom Lehrer is my new idol.

          Adores: 1
  18. 2010 May 12
    MandaB permalink

    I see an issue with posting #2 that has not yet been raised. If two different people opt to purchase the ipods but there is only one charger cord, who gets the cord? Is there some sort of crazy CL game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock for the cord?

    “Meat Gerberts beats misjay, but truck full of bees is better than Gerberts…and red table for sale, free if you take it beats everything except Not.A.Lionel but you can’t throw Not.A.Lionel every time. Ok…ready….go!”

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 12
      TacoMagic permalink

      Taco: I see only one way to resolve this problem. Centurion, bring me a sword and we’ll cut this cord in half, so that each buyer may have part of it.

      TacoMa’am: You do realize that there aren’t any centurions here and that cutting the cord like that will render it useless right?

      Taco: Indeed Centurion, that will make it most fair because both parties come away with less.

      TacoMa’am: Here’s one of my leftover Vicodin, have fun wherever it is you are right now.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 12
      mudslicker permalink

      That’s why it’s TOTALLY worth paying $160 for both.

      *god bless CatMath*

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 12
      Windrose permalink

      MandaB, when I think about a YSaC convention in August of 2011, I think about playing games like Guess the Avatar and another where we uncover an ad photo a little bit at a time while people guess which one it is. The players would have to solve catmath problems before they can guess. I like the meat gerbers beat misjay line of thinking!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 12
        MandaB permalink

        Mucho plenty adores! (How many is mucho+elebenty???)

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          CapnMac permalink

          How many is mucho+elebenty?

          Easy, ((elebenty² – 1) * i(log e)¹)+ hug(lim infinty)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 12
          MandaB permalink

          Capn, you know I don’t speak Spanish!

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 12
        Camille permalink

        Yeah, I’m thinking we could play some sort of YSAC poker with a set of special playing cards that SilvaNoir can design for us, but we’d have to keep reminding each other that a pair of meat gerberts beats three misjays, because of cat math, and that Not.A.Lions and one-eyed bees are wild…

        Pretty sure I need more of those meds.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 12
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Gotta be square cards, 7×5, an’ we can get one of those octagonal poker tables, but then only six can play at a time unless we have two of ’em jn good condition and with extra drawers.

          and a tea party. with sammiches. antique Crisco sammiches. and Bambi on the swingset.

          I likes my meds in sammiches – or vintage cereal – or cereal sammiches.

          Sammiches, sammiches, sammiches….. zomb

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 12
          Jen permalink

          I likes my meds like I likes my sammiches – full of mayonnaise.

          Adores: 2
  19. 2010 May 12
    CapnMac permalink

    I just happened to read Ela’s title line again,
    and I have to agree, the quality of that green is very rare.

    Adores: 1
  20. 2010 May 12
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    The $60 iPod is 30GB (GerBerts) and the $75 iPod is 8GB (GerBerts.) The original poster on the left out some vital information. The $60 30GB iPod is #1 GerBerts, but the $75 8GB iPod is #2 GerBert, which accounts for the higher price.

    /corey gerbert

    Adores: 6
  21. 2010 May 12
    Lola permalink

    Sort of OT, but YSAC related, I had to pull a government survey for someone a few minutes ago, and in addition to the published survey the issuing agency supplies links to the data tables. In explaining why I was including the urls, I began to type: “If it is a table you need … ”
    and my brain began chanting:
    “I HAVE A RED TABLE FOR SALE, TAKE IT FOR FREE!”
    With difficulty, I did not include that part of the sentence in the message. But only with difficulty …

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 12
      christina permalink

      Lola I totally understand, and it’s not just the memes that get me. Example: I just started a new job and one of the product lines I’ll be dealing with is Tocco Magico (a hair color line). I’ll do my best not to offer Taco Magic to unsuspecting stylists 🙂

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 12
        Lola permalink

        That’s brilliant. Are the shades “assplode,” “brainsplode,” and “sleep-deprived overcaffeinated”? 8)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 12
          christina permalink

          Probably not, but I’m willing to bet there’s and “espresso” somewhere in the brown shades.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 12

      I have to make sure all the little voices are properly lined up on their respective rabbit trails before replying to work emails.
      Occasional snarkesse sometimes leaks through though.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 13
      Ruffin13 permalink

      I am totally unable to read the word calculator correctly. In my mind it is now ALWAYS catulator.

      Adores: 2
  22. 2010 May 12
    keelhaulrose permalink

    Can we claim a win in the fact that They.Are.Elephants?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 12
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      The bar is soooo low around here, itn’t it?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 12
        Jen permalink

        *wipes juice from monitor*

        Itn’t it just.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 13
        CapnMac permalink

        Well the monkeys just aren’t that tall, even if they can climb high . . .

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 12
      MandaB permalink

      And They.Are.Green. However, “rare” and “quality” are both debatable.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 12
        Windrose permalink

        They Might Be Elaphants, tonight only, at the Magic Sexy Club, playing their hit single, Rare Quality Green.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 13
          CapnMac permalink

          Bonus points if we could get the two Johns to record that.

          And there are few other groups better qualified to be the musical expression of this place.

          Adores: 2
  23. 2010 May 13
    Windrose permalink

    Spacebug, you are not only a cunning linguist, but a pretty great unsucky commentor as well. Punchity-punch punch!

    G’Night, Africa and Asia!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 13
      CapnMac permalink

      Awww, Kaitlyn deserves at least an honorable mention, n’est pas?
      If only for being one of the only 5 fractal avatars here today.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 13

        Spacebug’s punch was for Tuesday’s post.

        Kaitlyn is, indeed, getting punched for her Wednesday post, but she had to wait until Thursday for it to happen! It’s a delayed punching, Capn.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 13

          “Delayed Punching” is a good name for a finishing move, or possibly a one-credit elective, if not for a band…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 13
          CapnMac permalink

          Ok, I’m betting you need an accessory table for delayed punching; what die do you use to roll for the delay? [asked innocently, just like always]

          Adores: 1
  24. 2010 May 13
    Windrose permalink

    Dang overloaded information highway. Now I have to wait until tonight to see today’s ad. 8( Well, so much for a snarky day.

    Adores: 0

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