YSaC, Vol. 772: Duuuude.

2010 August 28

Cleaning help needed


Looking for a cleaning lady/girl to come help us clean our buddy’s apartment while he’s at work today. His Kitchen is really bad and we don’t know where to start… We don’t have much money but are 420 friendly and willing to smoke you up and make/order lunch along with $20 for your time.

Wow. This is about the most impressive thing I have seen in a long time. Never mind that these stoners actually think that they can find someone to help them clean an apartment for $20, a bag of Cheetos and some weed. The impressive part is that these same idiot stoners actually managed to use an apostrophe correctly. What are the odds? Of course, when you think about it, we’re all really made of apostrophes, man. Pass the Cheetos.

Thanks for the…

wait, what?

Oh right, the link. Thanks, CB!

242 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 August 28
    Laurelhach permalink

    “The kitchen is really bad and we don’t know where to start…”

    You start with the kitchen gods–you offer them some pot and hope they’re as immoral as you are. If they accept your offering, then the kitchen will become magic and probably be able to fly.

    I’m surprised they’ve managed to post this, being 420–usually the extremely elderly have trouble with technology. But at least they’re friendly–I wouldn’t want any weirdos to smoke me up.

    Adores: 11
  2. 2010 August 28

    If they were 409 friendly they wouldn’t have to waste their weed on cleaning lady/girls.

    Adores: 44
    • 2010 August 28
      LimeLolly permalink

      I think they’ve overlooked ‘Mr.Clean’. Maybe they should use that instead.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 28
      Windrose permalink

      puppy!

      Adores: 4
  3. 2010 August 28

    Looks like a slow snark morning. I’m off for a fun fun fun root canal so I’ll be back later. I’ve left coffee slices and toasted donuts on the red table, take them for free!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 28
      Laurelhach permalink

      Thanks, christina! I’m off to a fun fun fun band gig at the local Wal-Mart. I wasn’t planning on going, but then my Lord and Master* told us about the free root beer floats. If there’s food involved, I’m there.

      *I sold my soul to my band director, so he controls my life.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 28

      christina…ooohh..OUCH!! Make sure you snark with the pain meds fully engaged!

      :runs off to fire up the popcorn machine:

      This oughta be goooooood….

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 28

        Oh I’ve been on vicodin since Monday so you’ll have to go back to see my incoherency.
        It actually wasn’t that bad and I have feeling in my face again so all is good. I’m working up a nice caffeine buzz so keep that popcorn handy!

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 28
      Not My Name permalink

      So, how much do you want for the donuts and coffee…..wait a minute! What the heck are coffee SLICES?!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 28
        Windrose permalink

        NMN, The coffee in the Snark Lounge is so thick, we can’t pour it into cups, so we have to serve it by the slice. Mmmm, that’s some good coffee!

        I believe this all started from TacoMagic needing stronger and stronger sources of caffeine.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          CapnMac permalink

          Not only that, but yesterday’s slices can be toasted, you you can add maple-butter or a caramel sauce–yum.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          2012CDT
          I have achieved Tacaffination.
          I realized that I might have an addiction when I stopped off at ‘Bux for a latte, took a sip, decided it tasted like warm milk, brought it home, brewed a pot of my own coffee to add to the beige milk drink.
          Edit: BP was 98 over 55 this morning so I can’t be doing too much damage.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          CapnMac permalink

          Christina, it would actually be better for your diastolic to be a bit higher; but during hot summer days such things vary, too.

          One measure of cardiac health is in the span between diastolic and systolic pressures, and more is better. Mostly.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 28
        Windrose permalink

        Oh, and all refreshments are freely shared, dude.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          “I’ve got a red table for sale, take it for free!”
          If there’s stuff on the red table, abd we can take it for free, I’m assuming they must also be for sale.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          *and, not abd.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          abwh permalink

          Be careful with the 420 friendly brownies. You won’t get anything done after one or two of those babies, even with a couple of slices of espresso.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28

          And the coffee can be applied topically. Like Dad-spit and chewing tobacco.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28

          Snacks are free but you’ll have to manage my texts. I get elebenty an hour.

          Adores: 5
  4. 2010 August 28
    MandaB permalink

    I prefer my cleaning ladies/girls slow roasted with a nice honey glaze, not smoked.

    Adores: 9
  5. 2010 August 28
    Windrose permalink

    Hmm, wonder if I should do the Weekend Round-up now? Wonder if we’ll break 50 comments? Calling all Lurkers! Just say Hi so we get our numbers up. Thanks!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 28
      M5ind permalink

      Hi! Maybe if you offer to smoke them up and/or buy them Cheetos, more will show.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 28

        [true storey Corey] Many moons ago I worked refurbishing airliners, we would get planes in from South America that required fumigating because there were lots of bugs (mostly cockroaches) under the cargo hold floors. The fumigating would not kill all of them so we had to clean the rest out by hand*gak* We would catch some of the really big ones and keep them in the shop inside a clear plastic tube that looked like a hoola hoop. They would stay alive in there pretty much forever as long as you kept giving them food and water UNLESS you gave them a Cheeto, they would die within two hours ever single time. So I will no longer eat Cheetos*shudder*[/true story Corey]

        Adores: 16
        • 2010 August 28
          Windrose permalink

          Cheetos are now officiall banned in the Snark Lounge! Ew.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Cheetos are a guilty pleasure of mine. Or, they were. Thanks, HamCan! I’ll live hours and hours longer now! 8)

          I probably would be sorry if I got an actual answer, but now I want to know what it was in the Cheetos that did them in.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          *puts uneaten Cheetos in corners and under sinks to ward off roaches*

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Lou Stool permalink

          OK, just to boost up the number of posts (and to get my name in the daily recap!!), I’ll add my gross story of things I’ll never eat again.
          It was about 3am, and my college roomies and I were at a Schmunkin Schmonuts* studying, eating donuts, and drinking coffee (they didn’t offer it by the slice). Out of the back room, I hear some lady yell to the lady behind the counter. Here’s the dialogue.

          Back room lady: Aw, Shit!
          Counter lady: What’s wrong?
          Back room lady: I lost another goddam band-aid in the glaze!

          Another. A-n-o-t-h-e-r. Band-aid. It’s been 14 years and I haven’t eaten another glazed donut.
          *name changed to protect the not-so-innocent

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 28
          Yancy permalink

          Here’s a true story that convinced my brother not to eat corn chips any more. I saw on TV one time that corn chips were a good way to help start a fire. So after that I started taking some on camping trips. One for the pile of tinder, one for me. Two for the pile of tinder, one, two for me. Three for…

          Some time later I was visiting my brother at his house and told him about this. Well, he didn’t believe me. I said I guess there’s enough oil that the chips catch fire and burn slowly. He went to the kitchen and got a pair of tongs. Over his kitchen sink, he lit a corn chip. He could see the oil bubbling and burning and swore he’d never eat them again. Pretty sure he has, though.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Yancy, from what I understand, you’re correct. I once read a book about a pyromaniac who started fires in stores. [terrifying fire corey] He’d get the ignition device rigged up to a rack of chips. Once the bags melt, the oil in the chips catches on fire and burns very strongly. [/scary-ass fire corey]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28

          I’ll make an uneducated guess as to why cheetos would kill a roach. If you put a cheeto in water it balloons up to cheese puff size because the main ingredients are rice and corn. I know that it is not advised to throw rice at weddings because birds will eat the rice, which expands in their stomachs and kills them. Cheetos are also salty which makes one want to consume water. So my thought is that roaches eat cheetos, get thirsty, drink water and die of bloat.*

          *may contain less than 1% scientific fact.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 28

          We figured the Cheeto dust plugged up their spiracles (breathing holes), kinda like diatomaceous earth does.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28
          SilvaNoir permalink

          I won’t eat at Shmunkin’s either due to uncleanliness. One near me one day was loading in muffins and donuts from a delivery truck. Delivery guy stopped part way to have a cigarette break. While he did this, flies landed on top. He saw this. Didn’t tell anyone. Delivered them to the store anyway.

          Same sort of thing happens at a local pizza place in my town called “Tomato & Cheese”: flies landed all over the pizza and if the customer didn’t notice they were sold it anyway. Also, DEAD roaches everywhere in that place (how filthy does a place have to be to kill the roaches?)
          Yet they pass inspection every year and I’ve heard that they pay off the inspector. Ah, corruption.

          The WacDonalds* in my local mall was closed due to lice and never reopened. Mice-lice. The mouse problem hasn’t been resolved, as I hear stories every so often from those who work there seeing the mice in glass display cases going after whatever food or crumbs are left there after hours.
          (don’t blame me)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28

          Adding to the Dunkin’ hate, and related to Thursday’s post:
          I used to work with a girl who also worked at the DD commissary, where they made all of the doughnuts for our area. Apparently the had a bee problem that they took care of by swatting the bees out of the air with the huge spatula-looking things that they used to pull the muffin tins off the line. Apparently several stunned bees made it into the blueberry muffin mix and no one thought twice about it until they were shut down pending a health department inspection after a woman found a bee in the muffin she was feeding to her child, who had bee allergies.
          If I remember correctly, this particular commissary was shut down on a regular basis for various violations.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28
        M5ind permalink

        Sigh, I guess this means I’ll have to resort to nacho cheese Doritos for my cheesy snack fix from now on since Cheetos can somehow destroy the indestructible roaches. Are the Doritos fit for the Snark Lounge?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          No, but Cheezums Pringles are! Enjoy! (I think it’s Cheezums)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          What about Cheezy Poofs? Are they OK?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          Ask the cheese god, Headcheesisis.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          kelli permalink

          Is it bad that I still want Cheetos?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Kelli, so do I.

          Cheetoes don’t kill *us* so they must make us stronger, right?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 28
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Is it bad that I want to run around in a clear plastic tube shaped like a hula hoop?

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 August 28

          I’d pay $20 and a bag of weed to see that.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          SilvaNoir permalink

          Chips do indeed burn well. My 8th grade science teacher gave a demo on how well diferent things burn… one Lays potato chip burns hot, fast, and bright.

          Haven’t eaten any since (I’m only guilty of eating reduced fat Pringles now and then).

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          CapnMac permalink

          [food corey]Taco touched on the legerdemain in Food Labeling the other day. Chips are no exception.

          Discount/off-brand “reduced fat” corn chips (Fritos™ knockoffs) are excellent expedient fire starters.

          This is because corn chips are extruded, oil (of whatever composition) is a primary ingredient to make the “dough” the chip is extruded from. This is entirely separate from the cooking method, either frying or baking.

          The other downside of “reduced fat” chips of any kind is in with what the “fat” is reduced with. Olestra and the like are all too common.

          Which is why I tend to artisan makers anymore–the use of “real” flavors and ingredients helps achieve satiety with less consumption. Mostly.

          Food labeling trivia: If something has less than 0.6 grams of fat per “serving” it can be labeled as “fat free.”
          [/corey]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          SilvaNoir permalink

          well the reduced fat pringles don’t have olestra… but the “fat free” ones do (I avoid those).

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          At the Band End-of-Year bonfire/cook-out last year, my friends and I burned chips in the smaller fire that was in an oil drum. One of the band parents in a Fire Marshall. He kept following us around all night.

          Adores: 6
  6. 2010 August 28
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I remember the days when pot was referred to as a dime bag. And now it is 420?

    Jeesh. Inflation has hit hard.

    Adores: 14
  7. 2010 August 28
    Not My Name permalink

    The only thing I can think of to say is the fact that these guys want someone to help clean their friend’s apartment that day, while he’s at work. What are the chances that they’ll get someone to agree, come over that day, and manage to clean the apartment, all probably before their friend gets home from work. That’s the only thing I could think of that’s even slightly funny.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 28
      abwh permalink

      I get the impression that they won’t even remember placing an ad, oh, let’s say, five minutes.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 28
        M5ind permalink

        That would make for an interesting conversation if someone responds to the ad…

        And an even more interesting conversation when hoarding sparky comes home from work and finds his kitchen full of people that are floating and smelling pretty colors and whatnot.

        Adores: 5
  8. 2010 August 28
    nonsensicalcat permalink

    So is the problem that men can’t clean? Or is the problem that it’s difficult to clean while high? Ooh, I got it– it’s hard to clean when you’re an asshat!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      I’m not getting “asshat” off these. I’m getting more “loveable but stupid”… kinda like the giant special dog who digs up the bush you just planted and presents it to you as a gift. It’s totally sweet that they want to clean their friend’s kitchen for him. It’s a pity that they lack the planning skills to get it done and have an unfortunate gender bias.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 28
        Lola permalink

        Gender bias, or just admitting they and all of their guy friends are useless at cleaning?
        Probably both.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28

          Huh. For whatever reason, when I read the ad, my brain assumed it was a married couple. Strange. I guess it’s trying to understand how is Sparrky formed.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 28

        I have a feeling that they think “wacky hijinks” will ensue. And by “wacky hijinks”, something like “Dear Penthouse Forum…”

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          I’m not certain that there’d be enough energy for whacky hijinks after cleaning and getting stoned. Then again, “it seemed like a good idea at the time” is an oft-uttered phrase in these scenarios so perhaps that’s not so far off.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 28
      LimeLolly permalink

      Duuude… where’s the mop bucket? And the broom?

      Maaaan, check out the suds in the sink… I think I see Jesus in the bubbles. Whoaaa!

      Adores: 10
  9. 2010 August 28
    Litarider permalink

    I’m sort of scared of these guys. It’s true a lot of things make me scared and suspicious (especially when Craigslist is involved) but I don’t think their intentions are entirely honorable.

    Well, I’m off to await that lady who is supposed to buy the chairs that I advertised on CL (no red table included). She suggested I just leave them on the porch and her sister would just leave the money some where too. Plus I’ll be wondering if the woman who wanted to pick up the bed last night around 10 PM will call back today.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2010 August 28
    Litarider permalink

    Hey, I’m in the box. Wow, thanks for the honor!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 28
      Windrose permalink

      Uh, Litarider, that was for yesterday. Gotta cut down on the 420, dudette!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 28
        CapnMac permalink

        You clearly did not Punch hard enough [g]

        Adores: 1
  11. 2010 August 28
    Is.An.Avatar permalink

    I suspect $20 will be over-payment for the amount of cleaning that actually gets done…………..

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 August 28
      CapnMac permalink

      Yeah, especially after the twenty is used to order pizza.

      Adores: 3
  12. 2010 August 28
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    “We don’t have much money but are 420 friendly…”

    These things may not be unrelated, Sparkoli.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 August 28

      Sparkoli, I like that. An intentional play on Spiccoli?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 29
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Wasn’t sure anyone would catch that. Stoner Sparky = Sparkoli.

        Adores: 3
  13. 2010 August 28

    Pizzahog day

    Cleaning girl, “Wow, this place is a pig sty, I never knew you could fit so many empty pizza boxes in such a small area.”

    Stoner slob#1, “I know, right. We were afraid if we removed the wrong one we would start an avalanche that might take out the entire block.”

    Stoner slob#2, “Would you like your payment now or after you are done.”

    Cleaning girl, “Oh, now please!”

    *Stoner slob#1 pulls a large crumpled wad of $1 bills from his pocket and we hear bong bubbles*

    Cleaning girl, “Wow, this place is amazing. It’s a magical pizza box mountain kingdom.”

    Stoner slob#1, “I know, right. We were afraid if we touched it we would break the spell.”

    Stoner slob#2, “Hey Cleaning girl do you have any pizza money?”

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 August 29
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Is Ashton Kutcher stoner slob #1 or stoner slob #2?

      Adores: 3
  14. 2010 August 28
    Ron permalink

    You should never hire a stoner cleaning lady. Hire a coke head or a speed junkie. They’ll get a lot more cleaning done.

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 August 28
      Lola permalink

      That reminds me of someone telling me about their mother being on diet pills (essentially, amphetamines) in the ’60s. Not only did she lose weight, but she didn’t need to sleep much and the house was so clean.

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 August 28

        This reminds me of Requium For a Dream.
        “Ma, are you doin’ uppers?”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          ToBScholarly permalink

          That movie made me want to wash my eyeballs when it was over.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28

          Hehe, I would have had the same reaction if it wasn’t for the fact that I “watched” it on one of my first dates with my husband.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          No one caught my creative selling of requiem? I guess I’ll have to flog myself.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          Windrose permalink

          christina, there will be a little something extra in your punch tonight for that one. 8/

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Did you sell the requiem on CL for $20 and some weed?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28

          Extra as in tequila? 😀
          I’m probably not allowed to drink and take pills though.
          EB: If I had my husband’s mad music skills I’d compose Requiem for Sparky in the key of B sharp* for the marimba**.

          *Musically inclined just enough to know that this is silly.
          **I can play two songs on the marimba; “Girls” by the Beastie Boys and “The Worms Crawl In/The Worms Crawl Out.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28

          Spice Christ on a Triscuit! I only just now figured out what you were talking about, EB. Funny, I don’t remember the dentist using novacaine on my fingers.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 28

      It was the gentle vibrating cleaning action that you don’t get with today’s harsh chemicals. The ones nowadays make Mommy throw up teeth and gang signs, though not necessarily in that order.

      Adores: 3
  15. 2010 August 28
    Indigo permalink

    Oh right!
    All of us ask questions for “a friend of mine”.
    So the poster really is named Buddy and can’t ‘fess up to being a slob.
    The lease is up and he needs to reduce the rubble piled up for a year.
    The cleaning lady/girl is cheaper than hiring an arsonist.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      I’m having a strong urge to play devil’s advocate today, it seems.

      I lived with a guy who was a hoarder and if I tried to clean while he was around, I’d never get anything done because he’d interfere and complain about someday possibly needing the trash that I was throwing out. That may be the case here. After I moved out and he got evicted a year later, I think the apartment managers had to hire a backhoe to excavate the place. Then they had to burn the carpets and douse the rest in hydrochloric acid.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 28
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Honestly, my first thought was “$20, weed and lunch to clean a kitchen? That’s one of the best deals on craigslist. Possibly of all time. (And possibly OF ALL TIME!)”

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 August 28

          My turn to play devil’s advocate.
          I used to live with 4 guys, some of whom were potheads. $20 would not have been enough to make me lift the first layer of dishes out of the sink.
          I think I ordered take out every day that summer.

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 28
        Windrose permalink

        [hoarder corey/] The lady from whom we got our African Greys was a hoarder, with 103 birds, large birds, living in solitary confinement in cages pushd up against each other in every room. She didn’t want friends to help clean the house. The day the paramedics took her to the hospital, a bunch of folks started cleaning the house. I got so sick after being there a few hours that Icouldn’t help. Unfortunately she passed on before ever seeing what had been done, and to this day another friend is mad at all the people who cleaned her house while the lady wasn’t there. I now suspect that friend is herself a hoarder. 8/

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Mel permalink

          Dunno, it may have been merciful that she didn’t see the cleaning. Most hoarders don’t take kindly to that.

          The poor birds. My impression is that they have a harder time psychologically bouncing back from neglect than other pets.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 28
        Lola permalink

        My grandfather was a bit of a hoarder and I suspect I’ve got similar tendencies, which I try to suppress (mostly successfully, with the exception of books). I don’t think I could ever hoard animals, though. One cat is enough.

        I moved into an apartment that was available because the previous tenant had been evicted for slobbery (the technicality they got him on was blocking with detritus and disabling the fire door). I had to bunk at a friend’s house for two weeks between the end of one lease and the beginning of that one, so I agreed to clean it.

        I will never do that again. I named the kitchen the “Mother of God!!!” Kitchen because I kept shouting that every time I opened or moved something to clean it. There was a dish the size of a pizza box on the floor by the sofa that was used as an ashtray, possibly unemptied since he took residence. The sofa was used as a bed, and the landlord (it was a furnished apt.) removed and either burned it or buried it in an empty lot at midnight. EW. I kept thinking of that place as I read this ad.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Hoarding runs in my dad’s family. I’m not over it yet, but I am making a concerted effort starting with books and clothes and other things that can be easily donated.

          I’m being good, though and not touching my hubby’s DVD or CD collection.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Actively doing things like that today, Moira. I gifted some nice but nonfitting clothes to a friend who was long-term unemployed until recently and who needed new professional clothes. Win-win.

          Periodically, if my house (and I’m exaggerating for effect here) makes me think of the Collyer Brothers, it’s time for extensive excavation.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Damn. Does that mean it’s time for me to work on my guest room space? Actually, depite the mess, most of the stuff in here will be easy. Recycle the old mail and put the crafting stuff away properly and 3/4 of it will be done.

          Hrm, maybe I’m not a hoarder so much as a procrastinator.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Hrm, maybe I’m not a hoarder so much as a procrastinator.

          We’ve never met, and yet you may have just summed up my housekeeping approach.
          However, I filed the environmental impact statement with the EPA this morning and am making progress! Part of my intermittent self-reward system is coming back here every so often, once I’ve achieved some amount of cleanliness.

          … Back at it …

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          You inspired me to vacuum. The hubby was supposed to do that but somehow it never looks any better afterwards, even when I have watched him vacuum. I do not know how he does it.

          However, the hubby HAS been going through the boxes in the detached garage in which there has not been any room for cars for 6 years. I know this is true because the number of CDs in the kitchen keeps increasing and I need to get more of the nice storage boxes for them. Also, he donated two large bags of unneeded coats and clothing. I have not had the intestinal fortitude to go LOOK in the garage, though, and see if it has made a noticeable difference.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28

          I had a girlfriend that had very lucrative business cleaning apartments after people got evicted.
          She had to call me in to help twice…

          Once the people had been growing pot in the second bedroom, they had lined the entire room with a plastic pond liner and filled it with a foot of dirt! The rest of the room was aluminum foiled. This was on the third floor too I can’t believe it didn’t cave in the ceiling. Took a week to get it out of there one 5 gallon bucket at a time. (I’m guessing these are the guys that put the ad in for a cleaning girl)

          Another time the guy had obviously not paid his electric bill for months and had no power. Candle stubs everywhere and he had been stealing street signs and using them for firewood, not cutting them up mind you, but shoving them in as they burnt down. The carpet had burnt spots all over it and there must have been 100 signs with burnt 4×4 stumps still attached in the spare bedroom.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Kae permalink

          My dad hoards. My mom does, too, but it’s not as egregious. (Though it has involved tax records going back to 1995.)

          Therefore, every time I find myself looking at, say, a rock or three-inch piece of yarn and thinking “hey, this is kinda pretty,” I chuck the thing before I can get attached to it.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28
          SilvaNoir permalink

          My mom isn’t quite horder status, but she does buy multiples of nearly everything. She will buy 2 copies of any DVD or CD. If she finds a pair of shoes she like, she’ll buy up to TEN pairs.
          Thankfully, she also really likes cleaning and is fond of throwing stuff out and giving whatever is still good to the church thriftshop.

          I’m a bit horder-y with books, comics, CD/DVDs, and my own drawings. I could open my own library… it’s my dream to have a house with a spare room that I can turn into a library one day, actually… with floor-to-ceiling-shelves. (For myself and friends, of course, not for the public)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Moira, I’m still cleaning. Your comment about vacuuming has continued to inspire me. I have family responsibilities for the next three weeks and a friend who is moving and with whom I want to spend time before he goes, so I need to do major cleaning this weekend.
          The hoarding comments are also helping me junk stuff. The best rule is “If I don’t know why I am keeping it, it goes.”*

          *May not apply to all books.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 28
          Lou Stool permalink

          Lola, Mrs Stool and I have found a great way to determine whether or not to keep something around. If we haven’t used it in (x amount of time – for us, it was 1 year), it’s gone. No exceptions. I knew she was gunna have one of her cleaning days, so the day before, I quickly used all the stuff I had previously ignored for the year prior. “I just used that yesterday, dear” 🙂

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 28

          I know what you mean, Kae. At my last job we had vendors bring us all kinds of junk on a daily basis. My craft closet was filled with things like leather luggage tags and magnets that I thought I would repurpose. When we had to move the contents of the entire house into two rooms I finally threw most of it away. I did keep the straps from the luggage tags because they had buckles and make great watchbands.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          Lola permalink

          Lou, that’s why I don’t have the one-year rule, which I have heard of. I’d totally figure out a loophole (learned behavior from being around lawyers?) and get nowhere. But if I don’t know why I have something, “I just like it” is not good enough and out it goes.
          Today’s segment of work is nearly done. Tomorrow’s involves doing work-related stuff from home and will be considerably less enjoyable. :/

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          I took a short nap this afternoon and, upon waking, suddenly felt inspired to go tackle the mess that has overtaken my rosebushes. Next year, I shall have to try to remember to kill the burr bushes before they go to seed.

          Please remind me.

          On the positive side, after that link to the camel spiders, the little bitty webs in my garden didn’t even make me blink.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          CapnMac permalink

          Ever since the tv shows have come out, my father has to suffer the slander of “hoarder” on an continuing basis.

          He’s not; he just suffers from being assigned tasks by ADD OCD* types.

          Which works like this.

          Go and fix the sight switch in the other bathroom.
          What’s wrong with it?
          It doesn’t work.
          Ok.
          –Gets bucket of electrical tools, takes same to the bathroom–
          Not that one, the other bathroom. But, while you are here with tools, fix this door, it doesn’t latch right.
          –examination shows the hinge screws are stripped, so the door is removed. Fix is simple, dip wooden end of big kitchen matches in white glue, place in screw holes, let dry.–
          –Go to other room for the matches, they are not there; niether is the glue–

          What are you doing, [guests] will be here in 15 minutes, and they’ll need a bathroom door!
          And the light switch is still broken! Fix it, so that [guests] can use that bathroom!
          –Go to errant bathroom light switch. Test it, it does not make the lights go on. Nothing else in the bathroom works. Puch the Reset on the GFCI outlet by the sink. Power comes on; switch works, too. As does the bathroom exhaust fan, which spins up to a banshee squealing. Which lasts only a bit until the GFCI catches enough to trip. Possible Ah!Ha! moment.–
          Why is that door still off. Why isn’t the seitch working? [guests] and [child] will be here in 5 minutes; then we have to drive [grandchild] to [location 30-40 minutes across town]!
          –this is half-good, there is a hardware store near [location] to get another bathroom fan and a GRCI outlet. Sufficient clean up is excersized for guests and chaufeuring–
          Oh, since we are all together, and [child] has brought [grand child] & [grandchild], we decided to go eat lunch at [place] since it is nearby {only 15 minutes’ drive, and not toward [location]}. Why did you leave all this food out?
          {It was to serve lunch to [guests] as had been instructed 2 hours before.}
          Why isn’t the switch fixed, it was working a minute ago?
          It’s the outlet, we need a relacement from the hardward store by [location].
          We’re not going to [location]. [Other grandchild] has to go to [site] first, after we eat lunch. [1st GC] is being picked up by [parent] after we eat lunch at [place], we’re not going to [location], you’d waste the whol day at the hardware store!

          Is it any wonder I’m happy to be about three hours from this?

          ___________
          *I’m and using the “popular” use of these terms, not the diagnosed, affliction-sense of “Disorder”; even if the observed condition does seem to meet the APA guidelines for “syndrome,” as in enough wrong to cause changes in interaction or purpose. But, try and explain ADS or OCS to people in under a paragraph . . .

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 29
          Moira permalink

          Oh, Cap’n THANKS for that tip on stripped screw holes. I have a couple on the front doorknob that will shortly get that treatment now.

          (where did I put my white glue…)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Actually, you can skip the glue if the matchstick will stay in the hole. As long as there is not a split in the wood. Then, glue is a good idea.
          But, the compression of the screw and the cutting by the threads will grip quite tightly.

          This will work on a wooden-framed cabinet with a paper match as well.

          A pair of diagonal pliers will nip off the matchstick neatly, too.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      Not My Name permalink

      You know what would be even cheaper than a cleaning lady? Cleaning it yourself.

      Adores: 8
  16. 2010 August 28
    kelli permalink

    I’m sure that if a cleaning lady/girl answers this ad, nothing bad could possibly happen. I’m also sure that if I leave out a saucer of milk, tiny fairies will come and do my homework.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 August 28

      If it’s strawberry milk, I’LL come do your homework. No guarantees I won’t call a Canananandian for help, though.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 28

        If I have to wear the fairy wings, it will cost you extra.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          If it will cost extra, does that mean we have to pay with chocolate milk, or better yet Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          kelli permalink

          I don’t have strawberry milk (or anything strawberry ever), but I have peanut butter cookies. I’ll throw in some OBOs if you wear the wings.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          Chunky peanut butter cookies? Done and done. What time will you expect me?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Not My Name permalink

          What are OBOs? I’m ignorant; sue me for it (you will fail*).

          *Not necessarily true**

          **I have read every post on this site.***

          ***Like I said yesterday, I have lots of spare time.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Or Best Offer.
          I think we started officially making fun of it when a CL poster wrote something like “$200 firm OBO” which is oxymoronic. We therefore concluded it was a thing, not the acronym we had always thought.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28

          I know a certain (male) Mellophone section leader who owns a pair of fairy wings, and if you leave out a copy of a magazine with hot girls in it it, he’ll come do your homework.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          Astro, why do you does he have fairy wings?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28

          Hey, I play Baritone, and as a Sophomore, I’m by no means a section leader.

          And he’s… weird. He’s like Tyson from Survivor: Tocantins. He’s straight (it would seem) but you wouldn’t know it from how he acts. And then there’s a certain other Mellophone who is the most awkward person I know. He had a migraine, so he asked for some Mydol.

          Adores: 6
  17. 2010 August 28
    CapnMac permalink

    Note that it is only the kitchen of the “friend’s” place.

    Hard not to suspect the stoners are squatting in El Amigo’s apartment.

    Further, that the stoners all believe in “the dish fairy” who takes your dirty dishes and makes them clean.

    After the first week, el Hefe de Casa has tired of being said sylph.

    That’s why they need the cleaner while el Hefe is away; Hefe has given them from now until after work today to get the kitchen clean or the stoners are out on the street.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 28
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Back in my college days, I found the dorm rooms and apartments the guys were sharing to be dreadful. They would give me blank looks as I would tell them over and over again that under your bed is not where old pizza boxes go and not to leave cereal and macaroni&cheese bowls drying on the windowsill until the spoons become glued in there with the leftover food goo.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 28
        CapnMac permalink

        That, and the faculty at art school was blue meanies, too? Says something about how well-adjusted you are.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          SilvaNoir permalink

          Thanks, I think?
          I commuted to school from home, so didn’t have to be around the mess all the time, only when I wanted to hang around with friends and classmates.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28

        I only lived in the dorms for one year when I was an undergraduate; during that year, the guys who lived down the hall from me used to:

        1. Store their urine in jars, steal full rolls of toilet paper and soak them in the urine, and then have fights with it in the hallway;
        2. Steal lunch meat from the cafeteria and stick it to their doors and let it rot;
        3. Try to seal the shower area to create a swimming pool (turns out a piece of plywood is NOT strong enough to withstand the water pressure; good thing they were only on the 2nd floor);

        Yep. Any wonder why I moved out of the dorms?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          And that would be why being in same-sex dorms is sooo much better. Even when it means I had to live with women and their drama and undercurrents… ugh. (One time, I switched rooms with someone in the middle of the night, because she (W) and my roommate (D) were best friends and the girl I switched with wasn’t getting along with her current roomie (C) very well. I gave my go-ahead, because they said they’d do all of the moving and put my stuff exactly the way it was. When I got back to the room at around 3am [I was out with friends that night] C was awake and upset, because D and W moved everything while C was sleeping. C didn’t even know that W was unhappy with her, and had absolutely no idea the switch was happening. I assumed everyone knew what was going on… Eventually, though, C moved in with a friend down the hall, and I had the room to myself for the rest of the semester ^_^) (And then there was the toxic roommate the next year, who turned most of the apartment against me until I moved out to protect my mental health, and then she turned the rest of the apartment against the one girl that stood up for me.) Yeah, I don’t trust women anymore. My coworkers call me “one of the guys” and for the most part, I’m just fine with that… [/rant]

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28

          Makes me glad I’m self taught.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I had one set of good roommates, in the last singles’ apartment I lived in before I got married. Two of the three other girls were fantastic–the third would either never be home or never come out of her room, and used my nice, soft 2-ply toilet paper to do her makeup and then replace it with nasty 1-ply newspaper-like stuff. But I’m not bitter about any of these experiences….. Noooo…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Reading these comments makes me glad for several things.

          1. Having been in college three decades ago.
          2. In military-style housing while at that college.
          3. That I managed to live through the perverse ways 1 & 2 listed above interacted. Somehow.

          Some good that is gone now; some good to erase the bad as well. Could maunder on that topic a bit, but will not, without specific request.

          Adores: 1
  18. 2010 August 28
    Lou Stool permalink

    What I find truly amazing is that one of the stoners actually has a job! We have a merry band of stoners in my hometown who just beg for money at busy street corners holding signs that say something along the lines of “we’re traveling, broke, and hungry.” They haven’t traveled far…..they’ve been in town for about 5 years now. Could it be that this is what the “employed” stoner is classifying as “work”?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      It’s official. Today, I am a speedbump in the snark freeway.

      [corey] Being a CA Bay Area resident, I’m acquainted with a few folks with cards and a few without. I can honestly say that neither usage nor reason for said usage correlates strongly with having a job among people I know.

      Then again, this is a completely unscientific sampling. But, if we put your sampling with my sampling we still have a completely unscientific sampling although a wider range of behaviors is observed.[/corey]

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 28
        ToBScholarly permalink

        Perhaps you are hanging out with higher quality people. I work as a foster care case manager and I can safely say that 75% of our bio parents are stoners. And they forget to do things like… feed their children.

        I guess it is all in who you know.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Ooof, tough job.

          To be dealing with people who can’t get even their most basic shit together in a meaningful way has got to be rough. But for such people, if it weren’t weed, it would be alcohol or meth or opiates or something because that’s how they hide from being unable to cope.

          So I’m not sure how much of the blame should be laid at the door of their substance of choice and how much is due to their essential desire to pull the covers over their heads and avoid dealing with life.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 28
          Windrose permalink

          I covet your job, TBS. I’m a supervisor a Medi-Cal/Food Stamp unit. Part of my job is keeping kids on Medi-Cal when they turn 18 and age out of Foster Care. While it is satisfying in its way, I think the other end would be richer. At least as stressful, probably more, but with a better sense of acheivement.

          *takes off rose colored glasses and cleans them*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          ToBScholarly permalink

          We joke in our office that if marijuana were legal, we would be out of a job. However, as Moira pointed out, if it weren’t pot, it would certainly be something else. We have our share of alcoholics as well. And don’t get me started on the availability of opiates. If I hear the words, “But I have a prescription!” one more time…

          [social service rant] And Windrose, there is really nothing rich about my job. In IL, it is a broken system which makes us workers look like ineffective, bumbling idiots on a good day. I regularly get screamed at by either foster parents, the kids, their bio parents, our service providers or one of our internal supervisors/administrators who think it is a proactive management technique to change the requirements on any given procedure at minimum once a week. [/social service rant]

          Please do not covet my job. Keep yours. And retire soon. For your own mental health.

          Sorry for the downer. Been a rough week at work. Going back to my job as a church receptionist is looking better and better.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          TBS, you need a hug, and chocolate (or your preferred equivalent), and a great massage. Windrose, you should have the same.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Sadly, having been beaten down by long-term unemployment, I’d take any of the above listed jobs (including kirk receptionist).

          As to the needful things list, I’ve none of that, other than some chocolate.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Moira permalink

          Cap, put your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder. Now squeeze.

          Now you’ve got a hug.

          Yeah, I always felt a little gypped, too, when my grandma did it to me….

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28

      In the roomate situation I mentioned above, the biggest stoner had the best job. Ironically, me and the only other non-stoner were pizza delivery drivers.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 28
        Lola permalink

        I’ve known a couple of serious stoners who were always gainfully and even well-employed … as long as urinalysis wasn’t a condition for hiring.

        I once supervised a group of people who later told me that one of their coworkers was seen rolling joints at his desk, for enjoyment during break time (on a smoking balcony on government property). Thankfully, that occurred before I got there and I wasn’t responsible for them.

        Adores: 4
  19. 2010 August 28
    CapnMac permalink

    And, once again, there may be an evolving Tag of “it’s on CL so it can’t be illegal, can it?”

    Was a news story this week for a State AG getting a bit cranky about the CL listings that are clearly prostitution. CL’s efforts in automating a refusal process seemingly bewildered by the number of posters who do not understand why it’s still illegal, even on CL where it’s anonymous (other than your explicit contact info).

    Yes, “humanity is doomed” might apply, but only in that “semi-sentient bipedal hominids are dooming we humans” is unwieldy at best. That, and I’m getting loathe to presume membership in homo sapiens by those who are so clearly not sapient.

    (And it really rather seems pointless to go to the taxonomic effort to define homo inscuiusa–but I’m feeling decidedly uncharitable today, aches, pains, and the like.)

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      Cap’n, you know what’s good for those aches and pains?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 28

        Strawberry milk and chunky peanut butter cookies?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Only if they are special cookies.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28
        CapnMac permalink

        you know what’s good for those aches and pains?

        Yes, having not lived as carefreed and high-risk a life as I did back when I was your age.

        It’s clearly a lack of pizza and continuing employment that is the problem.

        Oh, and my p/t job requires a great frequency of substance-use testing.

        Adores: 2
  20. 2010 August 28
    Windrose permalink

    Hey, christina is in the box now! How did that happen? *whistles innocently*

    Lou, I might not get the wrap-up posted until tomorrow AM, but it will be done. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 28

      I owe it all to coffee and painkillers!
      Do try to avoid punching the right side of my jaw, okay?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        The way it’s looking right now, your 409 comment may get you the rare (unprecedented?) two-fer.

        Look out for Windrose’s one-two punch!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 28
          Lou Stool permalink

          I agree. That was a winner, Christina.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          Minefield got the two-fer not to long ago, but the Llamanun did say she tries not to do that, so, go forth and out snark me!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28

          Forgot to mention that new people get preferential* treatment. That means YOU, elebenty brazillion lurkers, get commenting!
          *pretty sure I spelled that wrong.

          Adores: 1
  21. 2010 August 28
    ratwoman permalink

    I used to share a house with a bunch of people who were like this – one of the guys in particular couldn’t understand why I was vacuuming the living room carpet, even when I explained that it was crunching. After I moved out, they were there for another 6 months then when they moved they got severely penalised by the landlord for the state they left the house in. They used the porch to store coal, then had to go in and out through the patio doors because they couldn’t use the porch. And because they were archaeologists, that meant they went straight into the living room with its nice clean cream-coloured carpet, in their muddy site boots… I don’t think they cleaned the kitchen at all after I moved out. *shudders*

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 28
      Lola permalink

      I think it was Rita Rudner who said that men live like bears, with furniture. While there are neat men (my father’s actually not too bad), I think she was generally correct. I have a friend whose husband is borderline useless not always helpful around the house due in part (but not completely) to psych issues and she periodically shares stories about how she will go away for a week/end for work/family/whatever and upon her return he’ll have done next-to-nada in terms of looking after himself in her absence.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 28
        Windrose permalink

        Lola, I am counting my blessings. True, when chthulhu had a job where he worked strenuously for 8 hours a day in a warehouse type building, no heat in winter, no AC in summer, he would come home and do very little. I was tolerant because, while my job is physical for me, it’s at least in a controled environment. Now, however, since he has been job hunting and home most days, he has kept the kitchen spotless, he cooks every night, he does yard work, keeps the birds happy and entertained, and still has energy left over. 8) I feel I am not a housewife and he is not a househusband, but we are house partners. [/brag]

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 28

          I love that my husband and I have an unspoken agreement that he does the laundry and I do the dishes, dog hair is everyone’s responsibility. I also love that he has no problem letting the chores slide on nights that we’ve both worked a full day and then decided to recklessly start doing something stupid; like putting another coat of poly on the floors.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29

          I, too, am a lucky woman. Mr. Eyebrows is wonderful around the house. We share the duties depending upon who’s had the heavier work schedule that week. He cooks (most scrumptiously), he cleans (fiercely) and he’s a damn fine-lookin’ pool boy. 🙂

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 28

        At my house, my Dad’s the one who cleans, cooks, and does laundry.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          Okay Astro, this is bugging me. In your avatar picture, it looks like there is a person in a green bikini behind (what I assume to be) you. Is that what it is and if so, what really happens at band camp?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          That would be Amy [Redacted], an alumnus who helps out with the flutes and the guard, who was not wearing her shirt at the time, so her top consisted of her sports bra. This was on the hottest day of Band Camp. Just about everyone took their shirt off eventually. It was too hot for anyone to get excited about girls wearing only their sports bra as a top.

          EDIT: That’s wrong. I remembered, she was wearing her shirt, but she’d tied it in the back so that it really just covered her bra.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          My cousin’s last name is [Redacted]! I wonder if they’re related…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          If they were there would be no evidence of it…

          Adores: 3
  22. 2010 August 28

    I’m sorry I wasn’t in today, everyone, but we had Lazy Daze today, and then we had the unofficial 10th Day of Band Camp, where we put the whole ballad on the field. It’s really cool. For part of it, we have a Baritone Hexagon (with 6 sides for once) of Power that moves around on the field, then we form the shape of a mountain, at which point we take off our hats, leave them in that form, and form the shape of a bird/eagle.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      ASTRO!
      I posted something for you in yesterday’s thread (I think… memory is not working so well at the moment… and I don’t recall what it was about).

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 28
        Moira permalink

        I want and looked… I was mistaken.

        Adores: 1
  23. 2010 August 28

    Le Sigh.
    I was really hoping the lurkers would come out today. Wouldn’t it have been awesome to have 420 comments?
    Ah well, at least Windrose won’t have to work too hard on her recap.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 28

      We could always play blog leapfrog until we get to 420…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 28
        EclecticBlue permalink

        *leap*

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28

          *BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Do you waaant … do you waaaaaant … to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28

          Ya know, this line is down right minty today, barely a scratch on it. Wha happened?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I do what I can 😀

          To be fair, the Hungarian had no idea what he was saying.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28

          Do you waaant … do you waaaaaant … to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?

          Is that a preposition?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          Christina, the contact high off this posting had us too stoned for wacky hijinks.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          No, Hammy, I’m pretty sure this is the definition of a preposition:

          Nine or ten of them
          Do most all of the work
          Of, on, to, with, in, from
          By, for, at, over, across.
          And many others do their jobs,
          Which is simply to connect
          Their noun or pronoun object
          To some other word in the sentence.
          🙂

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 28

          Exactly

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          EclecticBlue permalink

          See, I told you!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      EclecticBlue permalink

      420 comment.

      ↑ Is that what you wanted? :-p

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      Moira permalink

      We had a few, Christina.
      And we haven’t scared off NMN yet.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 28
        Not My Name permalink

        What’s that supposed to mean?!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 28
          Moira permalink

          That we like you!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      ToBScholarly permalink

      I am primarily a lurker. For a variety of reasons, which I will now proceed to list here:

      1) You people are pretty quick-witted. It is often intimidating.
      2) I can only log on right before I leave for work (7:45 am) which means the AM posting has not hit yet or
      3) When I return home from work (7:00 pm) which means the AM posting has made it, along with 300+ comments.
      4) It took me many months to get motivated enough to get an avatar worthy of YSaC.
      5) I had to get rid of my hummingbird website, my octagonal, black end table and my tiger er, lion before I felt comfortable posting.

      Thanks for having me though!

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 August 28
        Not My Name permalink

        I know for a fact that I am not quick-witted. I couldn’t think of anything funny about this ad today.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28
        Moira permalink

        We only appear quick witted. We actually each have a cadre of writers that get 15 minutes to come up with worthy responses to any comment that grabs our attention.

        And…
        Holy Clothespin Jeebus Spice Christ, that’s a long day!

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 28
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Yeah, it took me a while, too. I think I was reading the posts and comments regularly for a few months before I posted my first comment, and that was under the influence of a larger-than-normal amount of caffeine and a double dose of Vicodin. It was fun. Then it was another several months before I got the confidence to start commenting regularly–I think when I cut and dyed my hair I gained more confidence, and I guess I wanted to see my purdy new avatar more often :-p (Also, doors are like a drug–once you get hit with one, you need more!) Anyways, welcome!

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 29

        I posted exactly three comments about a year ago and then got scared of all the smart folks and went back to lurking until around the end of the year.
        I just got my avatar not too long ago as well. My only excuse was laziness.
        Also, sometimes I don’t get a lot of time to participate during the day so I’m glad that others are here in the evenings and on weekends.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I was intimidated, too… But now I feel like one of the cool kids. Woo-hoo!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          *puts on biker jacket and slicks back hair. Holds out two thumbs up*
          Aaaaye!
          Nope, still not cool, but if Saved ByThe Bell taught me anything, it’s that the cool kids need a dorky friend, right?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Hey, now where else can a person who has seen (and over-memorized) a great geek/nerd/misfit collection of things from Shakespeare to Monty Python to entire genre of music, go? Or see spontaneous haiku?

          Besides, it’s not the IQ numbers or the academic qualifications we have here; it’s the fact that we are well armed in wit, and not afraid to fence with the equally-armed.

          Homo insciusa surrounds us; thus we revel here in the company of the sapient Sapiens among us.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Spontaneous hai
          ku? That’s the best kind for ev
          eryone involved here!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 29
          ratwoman permalink

          I’m still fairly intimidated, and also in the UK, which often means by the time I get to see posts in the evening someone else has already said what I’m thinking.. and I haven’t got round to sorting an avatar yet. But that’s just because I’m useless.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Windrose permalink

          Hi Ratwoman! We have several UK folks and even a kiwi when she can chime in. I refuse to accept that you are useless. Avatars are nice, but the quilt blocks are attractive as well. And while we do all catch each other’s insanity and snark away in rapid succession, we also have times when we share stories. Are you a hoarder or a neat freak or somewhere inbetween. Really, we love to hear from everyone when these subjects come up. Do you like pie or cake or cookies? Do you find it hard to resist slapping idiots that seem to be all around you? Did you put a cat in a trash bin recently? These are the things we must know about you! Now, I’m heading back to bed. 8)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29
          Moira permalink

          What Windrose said.
          The awesomest part about this community is the variety of experience in the atmosphere of shared snark and support.

          So, pull up a chair ($30 each or three for $100), have a slice of coffee and make yourself at home whenever you are able.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29

          Windrose! Moira got stuck in yesterday’s post…again!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Moira permalink

          What?
          I had important things to say…

          I am now done and will join you on today’s post.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          ratwoman permalink

          Why, thank you Windrose. In answer to your questions: Yes; Yes; and No. That wasn’t me on the CCTV, I promise. Though if next door’s cat uses my garden as a litter tray once more I may not be responsible for my actions.

          Adores: 1
  24. 2010 August 28

    Cleaning help needed
    *Anagram fun*

    Lance Needed Helping (Duh)

    Enhanced Pledge Line (New product, minty fresh)

    Channeled Dingle Pee (Hehe)

    Penile Dangled Hence (Hehe2)

    Hell Deigned Penance (Uh Oh!)

    Acne Needling Helped (OUCH!)

    Lichen Gene Deplaned (Wasn’t he in a previous post?)

    Adores: 6
  25. 2010 August 28
    Not My Name permalink

    If we want 420 posts, we just need to do stuff like this:
    “This is a new post.”
    Over and over again.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      EclecticBlue permalink

      No, NMN, THIS is a new post.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 28
      ToBScholarly permalink

      THIS is a new post.
      It is Not. A. Lion.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 28
        EclecticBlue permalink

        This one isn’t a tiger, either.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          This one’s name is Oscar.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          This one is red

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          And this one went “wee-wee-wee” all the way home!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29
          EclecticBlue permalink

          This comment doesn’t exist.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 29
          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Aaaggh, ninja comment!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29

          Ne c’est pas un cannard.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          You want to nest with a can of lard?

          *raises hand*

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 28

        SOOOOOOO CUUUUUUTE PUUUUUPPPPPPYYYYYYYY!

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 29
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Hey, maybe we can get to 210… That’s half of 420, so maybe our comments will be half-baked?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 29

        We could just start regurgitating memes in an homage to GrahamT (he did this once to break the record, which was something like 800).

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29

          Holy Lacawates Valtrus-Suka, Batman!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 29

          The mother Meme bird returned to the nest where six (maybe eight) Meme chicks were waiting, mouths open wide.
          Having flown about Craigslist all day her belly was full of misrepresented and misspelled items from across the globe, a good number of firm OBOs held in her bedazzled hoof-talons.

          “HarkHarkHark” Went the mother Meme, as she began regurgitating items for her babbys to feast upon…
          First came a*

          *Ok everyone, continue the story!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 29
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Giant banana! Chick 3 got that one. Chick 1 was upset, because he thought he was supposed to be first, and so mama bird regurgitated…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Next came a…….red table?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 29
      CapnMac permalink

      Thid is not the last post

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 29
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Hey, you’re right! :-p

        Adores: 2
  26. 2010 August 29
    Not My Name permalink

    I’m browsing Craigslist for a funny ad, I found one that’s really just a bit weird. Can I submit it anyways? Also, should I just copy and paste it?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 29
      EclecticBlue permalink

      If it’s something that you’re thinking is YSaC worthy, you can email it to Llama-nun and Ostrimu* (I think the email addy is in the FAQs). They ask that you email the link, copy-pasted title and content, and attach any images that there might be–in case the ad is taken down before they get to it. 🙂

      *May bees be upon them.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 29
      CapnMac permalink

      What EB said. Follow the button at the extremr top right of the Page.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 29
        Not My Name permalink

        I found another crazy Craigslist ad, but it’s on another site. It’s on this one, don’t know what to do.
        http://thatwillbuffout.com/
        Maybe you guys can just go to that site and look at it? Hint: it’s the hideous neon car.
        See, I don’t want to take something from another site, I don’t want to get in trouble (don’t know how I would, but better safe then sorry).

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Moira permalink

          We generally prefer our CL ads fresh from the wilds rather than week-old hanging in someone else’s butcher shop.

          But you’d never get in trouble for a well-intentioned submission.

          You’re talking about this one, right? Ow, my eyes.

          Adores: 0
  27. 2010 August 29

    Okay, I got us to 200. Thank you, everyone, for making my root canal recovery day tons better!
    *Puts a dog mask and “Hello! My name is: christina” sticker on the Bea Arthur cut out, hoping that Winrose won’t notice the difference.*

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 29
      CapnMac permalink

      209 as of 0003 CDT Sunday, 29 August. WooHoo!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 29
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Yay, we’re just over half-baked! 😀

        Adores: 2
  28. 2010 August 29
    Not My Name permalink

    What are the recommended dimensions for an avatar?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 29
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Hum, I’m not sure, and I didn’t see anything on gravatar.com. They do let you resize stuff, though, so I’d go at least 60×60, and then anything bigger than that would work.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 29
        Not My Name permalink

        Also, how do I change my avatar? See, I don’t usually belong to sites where I chat so I don’t usually worry about it.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 29
      CapnMac permalink

      Gravatar renders them square, no matter what.
      You get to apply a crop window when you select it, as well.

      Oh, you go to Gravatar.com and use the email you use here, and register it. You then get to associate an image with that.

      You may use images on your computer, or those online. I find it handy to have either one open in another window first.

      Best image size seems to be in the 600×600 to 1200×1200 pixel range.

      When asked, give the image a “G” rating, or it will not appear here. (I’ve no WordPress site memberships that are not “F” rated, so, I have no idea if the rating works at all.)

      You need to close the browser window after that. It’s a good idea to close the browse and start it back up again. This should show the avatar image. If not, shut down, and clear caches & cookies on your computer, then start up again.

      If any of this is only as clear as mud, check the FAQ in the Forum (see button above).

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 29
        CapnMac permalink

        Oh, and you can store extra images, if you have a mind to.

        The same way you can use a different email address as a “sock puppet” (forum thread will explain that slightly better).

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Is it working? I’m testing it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Dangit.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Hmmm….not very big….oh well.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Decided to change it again.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, I see, something.

          Watch the “small preview” in the Gravatar session for a better idea how this will appear. Or, that’s what I do.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 29
          Not My Name permalink

          Different picture it is then….

          Adores: 0
  29. 2010 August 29
    Not My Name permalink

    Is this better? (Hopefully it changed.)

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 29
      Not My Name permalink

      I command you to change!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 29
        CapnMac permalink

        Ah, when you change, you have to go and close the browser and restart all over again.

        Oh, and all copies change, even the old ones with a fractal “quilt” instead.

        Is that some sort of mecha wourking at a desk?

        Adores: 0
  30. 2010 August 29
    Windrose permalink

    Dang! It’s Midnight Thirty in CA, but I have to do my job. christina, hmmmm. You look different. Oh well, guess I’m just too tired after the dominoes and what not. Punchity punch punch and one more punch for that whole requiem thing.

    G’Night, La Cucaracha!

    Adores: 1
  31. 2010 August 29
    Usually-Lurking Janett permalink

    I really need to get to these threads earlier; I’m too impatient to read them all before adding my 2 cents. What does that mean, exactly?

    I hope no one takes advantage of these guys…like by getting them all smoked up FIRST, getting lunch and the $20 and then between drags…tripping them into believing that the kitchen *is.already.clean* —

    Anyone want to discuss quantum mechanics later? Mebbe over a toasted donut and some coffee slices?

    Adores: 2
  32. 2010 August 30
    PhantomBanker permalink

    With all due respects to Afroman…

    I was gonna clean my room until I got high
    I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
    my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
    – cause I got high
    – cause I got high
    – cause I got high

    Adores: 1
  33. 2010 October 15

    lol it’s over for the US. It was indeed a great nation once but those days are over. So many Americans are in denial. I feel for all of you though, you got screwed by your own government. Your version of Capitalism and Democracy are an abject failure. Only two parties have been in power since 1852. A real democracy wouldn’t only have had 2 different parties in power since 1852. America would be *destitute* without foreign lending (aid). America is not the richest country in the world, the figures are based on borrowed Chinese and Arab money. China owns America … full stop. China will show the world what a true world power is. One based on real money, not debt and America will fall into line and will behave in the very near future. You had your chance. You messed up, and now it’s time to hand the reigns over to someone else.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 October 15
      Windrose permalink

      To edit, or not to edit. That is the question.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 October 15
        Stephanae permalink

        I believe that in situations such as these ’tis nobler to delete.

        Adores: 1

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