YSaC, Vol. 984: Cholera for the ones you love.

2011 May 8

In honor of Mother’s Day, a new post!

Heart shaped Mother’s plague – $5


Heavey heart shped plaque
“Mother’s like you are precious and few”
Great Mother’s Day gift

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Because if you love your mother, there’s nothing better to get her than the plague! Now get out there and give your mother the plague she deserves. I’m giving my mother the bubonic plague this year; last year I got her dengue fever but she already had one. I won’t make that mistake again!

38 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 May 8
    Ah-kun permalink

    Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than boils and rotting flesh. Reminds me of the time I got my mom some yellow fever infested roses. Boy was she just the happiest mom on the block! She went around telling everyone all about my present and saying what a great child I was.

    Although the CDC showed up in these blue suits a couple days later and asked me a whole bunch of questions like where I had gotten ‘em and stuff. I think its nice that I’m such a great role model that other people want to know my secrets to success.

    Adores: 12
  2. 2011 May 8

    Love in the time of cholera!

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 8
      Lola permalink

      Adores for the Garcia Marquez reference!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 8

        Ditto dear Lola, above.

        Adores: 0
  3. 2011 May 8
    LimeLolly permalink

    I wonder if a ‘Plague Party’ is similar to a ‘Chicken Pox Party’ ?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 8
      CapnMac permalink

      I suspect it’s more about filmy coatings or thrombolytic constrictions than a Chicken Little Party . . .

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 May 9
        funky monkey permalink

        Oh Dear Lord, if anyone is having a “chicken little party”, I gotta be invited! Squeal!

        Adores: 0
  4. 2011 May 8
    Lola permalink

    I’m going to get this for my mom, and for my husband’s mom, and then when we give them to our moms we can quote Shakespeare at them – “A plague on both your houses!” They’ll be so proud and impressed.

    Adores: 8
  5. 2011 May 8
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Bubonic Plague is so last year. I’m getting my mom Septicemic Plague. It’s what all the hipster moms are into, now.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 8

      Hmph. My mom had it before it went mainstream. (Seriously, I bought her two books by one of her favorite authors.)

      Adores: 4
  6. 2011 May 8

    That’s the last time I order a Mother’s Day arrangement from Typhoid Mary’s Gift Emporium!

    (A super-snarktastic Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there in Lurkerland and an extra-special “Happy!” to our site-mother Llamanun(BBUH) and denmother Windy!

    :places arrangement of alfalfa and millet on red table: )

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 8
      Windrose permalink

      Aw, thanks, Ghostie! That’s just what I wanted.

      Adores: 3
  7. 2011 May 8
    Cindy B. permalink

    Damn, it’s almost a haiku. Skippy would have won major points for that. So close.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 8
      Addicted Reader permalink

      It’s the theme of the weekend.

      Adores: 1
  8. 2011 May 8
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I suspect the rogue apostrophe is the infection vector.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 9

      I’m actually less concerned about Mother having the plague than I am about her being heart-shaped…

      Adores: 0
  9. 2011 May 8

    Plague, that’s nothing! This year I really shelled out the big bucks and got my mom a mutant strain of Ebola Reston which is pathogenic in humans.
    I think my sister’s just getting her the usual gift – a headache.

    Adores: 10
  10. 2011 May 8


    Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.
    Turning quite blue, like the sky, while pox cover you.
    And if I can’t find a mosquito swarm, it just wouldn’t be malaria.
    Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.

    Mommy, for you I will find, a bug that is so rare.
    A hundred and two is a fever you just can’t compare.
    And if I can remove your arms, leprosy I declare.
    Cause’ Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.

    And if I can’t bring you cholera from Rome, it just wouldn’t be fair
    Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.

    Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.
    Turning quite blue, like the sky, while pox cover you.
    And if I can’t find a mosquito swarm, it just wouldn’t be malaria.
    Precious and few are the mothers with germs we share.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 8
      Windrose permalink

      Hammy, that brings a tear to my eye. And I think I’m developing a cough. Happy Mum’s day to your puppies and anyone else who qualifies. No, I’m not calling you a mother. Am I?

      Adores: 4
  11. 2011 May 8

    I wasn’t sure what to get TacoMom today, so I just deep fried her some bacon and covered it with fudge and whipped cream for a nice breakfast in bed.

    She told me it was the best heart plaque she ever got for Mother’s day.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 May 8

      And Tron knows his mom all too well. She’s getting funnel cakes that have been batter dipped and fried a second time…

      Adores: 5
  12. 2011 May 8

    In honor of mothers everywhere.

    *Anagram fun*

    “Heart shaped Mother’s plague”

    Grasshopper Maul Hated Thee (Stars Wars meets King Fu)

    Paragraphs Mused Teeth Hole (Poetic dentist)

    Heather Heats Pale Gumdrops (Yes, it was cold outside)

    Postpartum Hare Heals Hedge (One of the miracles performed by the baby Jeebugs Bunny)

    Postgraduate Hemp Heel Rash (From hiding your stash in your socks)

    Autographed Helmet Phrases (The concussion stops here)

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 8
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Postgraduate Hemp Heel Rash (From hiding your stash in your socks)

      As my mother is retiring from a career in education next month, this is what I’m getting her for Mother’s Day. Thanks for the wonderful suggestion, Ham.

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 8
      Addicted Reader permalink

      That may have been one of the best anagram posts EVER!

      Adores: 2
  13. 2011 May 8
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, especially Mother Llama and Mama Windy!

    Also, cholera!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 8
      Lola permalink

      I love that site – as does my mother (for real), who did lab research half of her career, and who now sews all the time.
      I think my favorite is actually the BSE, with Holstein patterning.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 8
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Everyone in my lab is gifted a yeast on joining the lab. A couple years ago, an extra-large one was bought and left in our advisor’s office for his birthday.

        I’m a science geek, and they make me happy.

        Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 8

      I have a colleague who’s something of a germophobe, and I keep threatening to buy her some cold and flu microbes. She hasn’t seen the site, though, and thinks I’m making it up.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 8
        Lola permalink

        ratwoman, if you do, I wish I could see her face!

        Adores: 0
  14. 2011 May 8
    CapnMac permalink

    The problem with dengue being that it can reoccur, too (and there’s a very good reason they call it “break bone fever” too).

    Even better, anti-gift-wise, once given, it doubles the risk of catching dengue hemorrhagic fever–which makes having an affliction which inflames every joint affliction seem a mild thing to suffer through . . .

    Now, back to the dark days of computer repair with only stone knives and bearskins . . .

    Adores: 1
  15. 2011 May 8

    As a loving mom myself, this brings a tear to my eye and warms my heart. The room is spinning and I feel overcome…Bridgete! (cough, cough, COUGH) You made your mother proud!!!

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 8
      Lola permalink

      Happy Mother’s Day, Bridgete’s Mom, Windrose, Llama-Nun (BBUH), LimeLolly, kelli … uhhhhh … *sheepishly forgets everyones’ names* and all of our other mothers, however you may classify yourself as such (step-, god-, nontraditional-, etc.).

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 8
        LimeLolly permalink

        Hubby’s been asking me for the past week what I wanted for Mother’s Day. “Eh, I don’t know. ”

        Maybe a new stove for the kitchen, maybe a dinner out, maybe this or that, just whatever he wants to give me.

        Came home from visiting my sister this afternoon… he had done the dishes in the sink. He NEVER washes dishes. I’m in awe of my Mother’s Day present. Unfortunately, I bet it was only good for one use. Oh well… it still rocks.

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 8

      Mommy!! :)

      I just ordered your present, then I saw this post. Now I think I should have gotten you one of these: http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/blackdeath.html

      Adores: 1
  16. 2011 May 8
    Ziaheart permalink

    Ah, a mother’s like. Not quite so heart-warming as a mother’s love, but just as precious and few.

    And just as deserving of a horrific epidemic!

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 8
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Well said. I noticed the extra apostrophe, but then forgot it in the rest of the problems.

      Adores: 0
  17. 2011 May 9
    Windrose permalink

    Hammy, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch! Pass it on to any whom you feel deserve it.

    G’Night, Grafton!

    Adores: 4
  18. 2011 May 9
    funky monkey permalink

    Y’all make me look bad: All I got my mom was staph. Sigh.

    Adores: 1

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